Breakfast service passed in a flash and soon he found himself half way through lunch service in autopilot. Everything was going out on time and to standard but he couldn't find any joy in cooking.

"Hey." Doug smiled from the hatch.

"Alright?" Ste asked. Doug had something on his mind, he could tell. He looked excited which was enough to put a dampener on Ste. He wasn't going to like it. Doug was going to try and use enthusiasm to counter act his scepticism.

"I was wondering if since it's your night off if you would like to come for a curry with me and John-Paul."

He'd rather stick red hot pokers under his fingernails. Those two were so loved up it was sickening. It was like puppy love only worse because it was between two full grown adults.

"No you're alright. Thanks for the offer though." He could just tell that Doug wasn't going to let this go.

"Come on, we haven't been out in ages. It'd be nice to catch up." Doug was going to pull out all the stops.

"I can't."

"Hey Ste." Jamie smiled as he ordered his coffee from the side.

"Come on Ste, a meal it's not too much to ask."

"I can't. I've got plans." He was digging himself a hole.

"Oh yeah, sit all alone and play video games. Ste, it's a meal, a couple of beers that's it. Just please okay. Come with us."

"And play gooseberry all night. Thanks but no thanks." He dropped himself in it so easily it was embarrassing.

"So you don't have plans." Doug was like a dog with a bone.

"I thought we were going for that drink." Jamie piped up.

"Oh." Doug completely deflated, which quickly became excitement, he gave Ste a bright smile which was saying things that he didn't want to hear.

"We are." Ste replied. He'd have to now.

"Well that's great, it's really, really good to hear." He was being over the top.

"That all Doug cos I'm busy yeah." He wanted him out of the way before he embaressed him anymore.

"Right well I'm catch you tomorrow. We should have a chat." Doug stated giving Jamie a non too subtle look.

"Yeah whatever." Ste replied grumpily. "Thanks." He sighed at Jamie. "Saved me then."

"I'm holding you to it though." Jamie stated. "The Dog around 7?"

"Yeah alright." He was agreeing. Why was he agreeing?

"I better get your number in case something comes up, you know for either of us." Jamie stated handing Ste his phone to put his number in then called his own phone to save time.

"I'll see you later." Jamie smiled and walked out.

"Am I hearing things? Did you just agree to that drink?" Tony asked leaning against the door.

"Yeah, so what? Got me out of Doug hassling me and John-Paul looking down on me."

"Just after yesterday…"

"I over reacted." He felt under attack. "It's just a drink isn't it."

Tony gave him a smile which was full of pride before turning back to the counter to serve.

A pit formed in his stomach. Knotting and twisting his insides. It was growing with every moment that passed. By the end of preparing for Joe to take over the kitchen his hands were shaking so badly he could barely hold the knife

"Get a grip." He muttered to himself.

He managed to get away at four which was later than normal but he hadn't wanted to go home because it would give himself too much time to think.

"Have fun tonight won't you? You deserve it for the amount of effort you've been putting in around here." Tony said as he was about to leave.

"See you tomorrow." He said before Tony could say anything that might tip him over the edge.

He considered calling Laura for all of ten seconds before giving himself a mental slap. Laura was not someone he should be ringing every time he felt nervous, every time he felt a bit panicked. No Laura was there for emergencies when he really had to talk to someone. Amy kept saying he had to stand on his own two feet and he had been so he could cope with the knots in his stomach alone.

He picked out a blue polo shirt and a nice pair of jeans. He debated for about half an hour on trainers or shoes deciding on trainers and a dark hoodie, it was the Dog. He didn't need to dress up. There was no need to dress up. He was only going because Jamie gotten him out of the meal from hell. There was nothing else to it. Two men going to a bar, as friends, both just happening to be gay.

Jamie text him at half six to ask him if he was still okay to make it. He replied that he was.

He hadn't been into the Dog in a long while. He hadn't liked being in there when he was drinking his life away. Everyone knew him or knew of him. Maybe it was a bad idea. He didn't have a clue what Jamie knew of his past and every single person in the bar could stick their knives into Ste at any minuet.

"Not thinking of bolting already?" Jamie said as he walked up the steps. "What can I get you?"

"Just a bottle of beer will do thanks."

"Do you want to sit in there or sit out here? It's a nice night." Jamie asked.

Inside they'd all be watching his every move and he couldn't bare it. At least outside he could escape easily.

"Out here." Ste stated.

"Well grab a pew I'll get the drinks in."

It took a few minutes but Jamie returned with their drinks.

"Never thought you'd actually agree to this." Jamie said as he handed over Ste's bottle.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Just that I thought… Don't know." He smiled at his pint.

They chatted idly most of the night about their jobs. Their lives, well Jamie told him all about his brother and sister and how disappointed his father was in him for wanting to be a mechanic instead of following him into medicine.

"Couldn't think of anything worse. All those bloody exams. I always preferred to work with my hands and there's something about fixing up broken cars, making them run again, making them beautiful for someone else to enjoy. Dad thought it was a complete waste of time until he realised that I can do MOT's and full service certainly turned him around quick when he realised how much money he could save. What about your dad?"

"Dunno. He left me and my mum when I was tiny. Haven't seen him since."

"So you're not like one of those chef's with a long family history of Michelin stars and all that."

"I wish. Learnt everything I know from Tony and his brother Dom. Then once I had the basics it was easy."

"You've certainly got a flair for it."

"How would you know? I've never seen you eating in Ill Nosh."

"That's because you're always behind the stove. Frankie and Jack took me in one night after Tom had just started with me as a thank you and to make sure I had no horrible dark secrets. Didn't think I'd make it out alive a one point. Frankie's something else. But the food was incredible. You're seriously talented."

"Yeah well I just work hard at it don't I."

"Yeah it's like everything worthwhile it takes work."

An hour later it was last order's and Ste's round. It had turned cold outside so they had decided to finish up there drinks in the bar.

"Ste, love, didn't realise you were here with Jamie… Nice to see you getting back on with your life after all that happened."

"Yeah thanks Frankie." He wished he'd stayed outside and froze to death instead of facing Frankie and all her gossip.

"What was that about?" Jamie asked before taking a sip of his beer.

"I don't want to talk about it." He replied.

"Hey Ste what would Brendan say?" Darren Osborne. Of course it would be that fucking twat that couldn't keep his fat mouth shut. Couldn't just leave it. Say nothing and let Ste have a nice end to an enjoyable night.

"I'm going. Thanks for the drinks and all that but I've got an early start." He smiled then walked away because Osborne wasn't worth it. He wasn't worth it. Smacking him the face wouldn't be worth it. Really. But it would feel good. It wasn't worth it.

Jamie caught up with him just as he was about to get out the door.

"Can I see you again? You know like a date?"

"I don't know. No. I… I've had a really good night."

"Am I wasting my time here Ste?"

"I don't know alright." He walked away before he said something he regretted.