"Every day is a journey, and the journey itself is home." -Matsuo Basho

Kiya didn't even look up when she heard the door creak open. She just hung there as she had for the past weeks, half-dead and dripping blood onto the metal floor. Burns raced up and down her arms and legs, and she couldn't even hold her head up to see who had entered the brig to torture her today. It wasn't until they spoke that she had any real inclination as to who her newest assailant was.

"Azula has made a mess of you, I see." That voice was so familiar. Normally, it spoke with honeyed poison, but today it was all soft edges and concern. Irada. Kiya stirred slightly, and her manacles clinked on their chains, the only sound in the otherwise silent room.

"Here."

A hand, in front of Kiya's face. Holding a cup of water. More gently than Kiya had thought possible, Irada tilted her head and held the cup, helping her drink it. Kiya's dry tongue had forgotten the taste, and the coolness ran back over her throat like a half-remembered dream. Kiya gulped like she was a fish, until the cup was empty and she was starving for the mere drops that coated her lips.

"Better?"

Kiya nodded weakly, though in truth she didn't feel very different.

Irada sighed, setting the cup down and standing in front of Kiya. She wore a long, elegant black dress with red sleeves; a gold belt glittered around her slim hips. Her long hair was pulled back into a taut bun at the back of her neck. She looked neat and fresh, like she was going to a fancy dinner or a party of some sort. Kiya had never been to a party; she'd never even had a birthday before. Gyong had only ever told her 'Kiya, today you are one year older' and she would do the math on her own. She never received presents, especially ones such as silk dresses and gold belts.

Irada shook her head. "Why don't you just talk? It'll be easier that way. Azula will stop all this once you talk."

"Is that… why you're here?" Kiya asked, each word a gasp. "To convince me?"

"No. Azula doesn't even know I'm here. I came here because…" Irada hesitated. "I don't know why, actually. I just wanted to talk to you. I wanted to know about your life."

"You already know everything. I'm a Viper, and… my master… he betrayed me. That's all there is."

"So…" Irada's voice was a whisper, as she knelt down to look Kiya in the eyes. It was like looking in a mirror of how she wished she looked. After all, she was bruised and bloody and starving, and positive that she looked nothing like Irada at that moment. "You know nothing about our parents?"

"I know enough."

Irada shook her head, making a face. "No wonder Azula plays such games with you. You are utterly uncooperative. No, Kiya, I want you to tell me what you know. And I will tell you what I have heard." She raised her hands, clapping them together. "Two halves of a whole. Like us."

Two halves of a whole. She had once told Zuko something similar. They're just two different parts of the same whole. Was that why she had always fought better with two weapons? Because she had known, somewhere deep inside of her subconscious self, that the other half of her was missing?

Licking her bloody, parched lips, Kiya spoke. She told Irada everything Gyong had kept secret: about how their father had betrayed the Fire Nation, running away with their pregnant mother from a war that he knew would be fruitless. She told Irada how the soldiers had come, and had found their parents, and killed them two years later. "I was wrapped in a green blanket when Gyong found me," She said, her voice hoarse from screaming. "He assumed I was Earth Kingdom, and he took me. He didn't even know… there was another child."

Irada sighed. "That's because I was taken back by the soldiers. I was wrapped in a Fire Nation flag when they ransacked the house, and they assumed I had been stolen. They took me home, and left you, not knowing you were my sister…" She shook her head. "One change of events, and we may never have grown up this way. We may both have been together, and you would not be in here now."

That was true. Kiya tried to imagine how it might have been, had they both been returned to the Fire Nation: growing up as a spoiled, rich child; loved by two adoptive parents who couldn't have children of their own. Becoming friends with Zuko, and maybe even being the one who would marry him one day, instead of Irada. Kiya frowned. Being fed a steady diet of lies about their nation… becoming friends with Azula. Her heart hardening like the princess' until it was only stone. No. If she had a chance to go back and change her circumstances, she wouldn't. Better to be who I am now, than who I could have been with them.

Kiya laughed, though it hurt her to do so. Foolish pipe dreams from a pampered noble girl who would never understand what growing up had been like for Kiya. "I would rather be here, in chains… than a lap dog for that crazy bitch."

Irada blinked several times. The words seemed to have caught her off guard, and she looked momentarily stunned before narrowing her eyes. Her face turned nasty. "She may be a crazy bitch, but she is not the traitor in chains." She rose to her feet, smoothing her dress. "Now I tried to be nice to you. I tried getting to know this girl who is supposedly my twin. But you have to make everything difficult! So I guess I'll ask you what I really wanted to know… what went on between you and Zuko? What is going on, if there is anything?"

Kiya laughed again, louder this time. "Of course. I knew it had to be something…" She raised her head as best as she could, looking Irada in the face. "Why do you want to know?"

"Why do I want to know?" Irada laughed mirthlessly, pulling a knife out of her left sleeve. "Because, sister, I grew up alongside him as friends. When we were young, our parents arranged our marriage. Some day, I will be his Fire Lady, and I want to know because he once claimed he loved me!" Her words ended in a shout, and Kiya could see a flicker of madness in Irada's eyes. "I seek only to know if that is still true!"

"Maybe," Kiya said. "Maybe not. How the hell should I know?"

"Look, if there's something going on between you, I would just like to know." Irada's voice dropped, until Kiya could barely hear her. "I saw you two, you know, the day we found you. The way you two looked, holding hands and standing so close to each other. What could have possibly happened to make you two trust each other so? Weren't you charged with killing him?"

She had a valid point, Kiya thought. What had changed? True, he had tried to kill her several times, and he had lied to her, but she had also done the same to him. In the end, Kiya supposed it was the real Zuko that she had glimpsed - the one he would become, once he learned his true path. Something about that person made her curious, in more ways than one, and she found herself more drawn to him than she wished to admit.

But… he had lied to her. All of that time, he had known about Irada, and he hadn't told her. So many opportunities had arisen, and instead of keeping her in the dark, he could have told her. He had even mentioned her, when he had seen Kiya for the first time. So why hadn't he ever said anything? She had asked him, hadn't she? The first time they'd really spoken, when she was imprisoned. She had asked, and he had evaded. True, it was because they didn't know each other yet. Hell, they still didn't. But after everything they had been through, he had kept his mouth shut. Why had he waited until the worst possible moment, when the truth had already come to light? Why, why, why? The questions made Kiya's chest ache.

"But…" Irada was saying, her voice sweet with disdain. She walked in a circle around Kiya like a buzzard-wasp, stroking the knife in her hands. "What trust could the two of you have possibly shared, if he didn't even tell you about me?" Kiya could hear the smile in her voice. "All that time spent together, and he didn't mention it… not once? You must feel so… betrayed."

Kiya's face crumpled. She knew Irada was only saying things to get to her, but the trouble was that it was working. Zuko had betrayed her, and the ridiculous, possibly misplaced trust that she had put in him. She had thought maybe they had something, that maybe both of them felt something. After all, they had kissed, they had spoken of their past in silent nights, and they had been through hell together. So why hadn't he told her the one thing that would impact her life forever? She knew it was stupid, to be so broken up over a guy, but she couldn't help it. Just because she was an assassin didn't mean she was heartless. Tears brimmed over her lashes, spilling down her cut cheeks. The salt burned in her wounds, and she sucked in a cold breath.

Irada surfaced again in front of Kiya, her eyes cold. "So it's true. Why would you waste tears on him if it wasn't true?" She brought the knife up to Kiya's throat, holding it there as she gazed at her tear-spattered sister. "Tell me everything about the Black Vipers, and maybe I'll let you live. After all, you're not the only one who's good with a knife."

Kiya closed her eyes, even as more tears spilled forth. As foolish as it sounded, she felt like her heart was breaking. After Gyong's death, Onu's disappearance, and her sister's deceit, Zuko was the only person she had left in the world. And he had kept a very valuable secret from her. I don't think I can ever trust him again.

Weak. Hurt. Starving. Heartsick. Most likely dying. What else did she have in the world? What else could she lose? There was nothing left. She had no one, and she no longer held any allegiance to anything earthly.

Opening her eyes, she met Irada's fierce glare, and slowly nodded.


Azula kicked off the wall when she the door opened. Irada came into view, closing the door behind her. "Well?" She asked, unfolding her arms from across her chest.

Irada smiled, her green eyes pleased. "You were right. Prick the right places, and the dam will break."

"And?" Azula asked eagerly. "Did she tell you where the Black Viper den is?"

Irada nodded. "Tell your helmsman to head south."

"Excellent!" Azula clapped her hands together excitedly. "On the way, I believe we'll stop in and make some house calls. Although you are useful to have around, we need to gather a small elite team. Our firepower alone just isn't enough. There are a few friends I'm dying to visit. Perhaps they can be persuaded to join us."

Irada snickered, as the two of them walked down the corridor, towards the stairs that led up to the main hold of the ship. "Just prick the right places, Princess."

Their echoing laughter followed them down the hall.


Traveling on his own was harder than Zuko had originally imagined.

By the second day, his stomach was gnawing with hunger. On the third, he'd run out of water, and his mouth was parched. On the fourth day - when he thought he could no longer keep going - he stumbled upon a small, dusty town. More relieved than he had ever thought possible, he rode in, dismounting on shaky legs. Trouble had arisen within the first few minutes, as per usual. Discord always managed to catch up with Zuko, no matter how hard he tried to escape it. Luckily, he had managed to avoid an altercation - this time, anyways. Some Earth Kingdom soldiers (more like thugs) had come to bother him, but once they had stolen what he had rightfully paid for, they moved on, no longer interested in the passive teen.

He hadn't wanted to be passive. He'd wanted to burn them all, knocking them back into the dust. If not to get out some of the anger boiling within him, than to knock them off of the high pedestals they thought they belonged on. Jerks.

That's when he'd met Li. The young boy was eager and inquisitive, and reminded Zuko of himself at that age. When Li invited him back to his house, Zuko had no choice but to obey. His body, and the way it was failing in the heat, wouldn't let him refuse the generous offer.

That's where things got wholly uncomfortable for him. Li's father and mother were both unspeakably kind, offering food not only to his exhausted ostrich-horse, but also to him, along with a roof over his head for the night. Zuko didn't know what to say. He felt awkward, knowing he didn't deserve such hospitality, when he wasn't even being honest with them about his identity. It felt wrong, and rude, and made Zuko hate himself more in the end.

Li was another matter entirely. The young boy constantly asked questions, and of course, they were the most annoying, intrusive kind. As Zuko helped Li's father nail down the roof of their barn, the boy had lingered, watching with fascination as if he expected Zuko to do some sort of trick. The young boy asked about his scar, and where he was from - the worst questions for Zuko to answer ever - and continued to do so, even after being berated gently by his father.

"A man's past is his business," He had said, flashing Zuko an apologetic glance. "Stop bothering this poor young man. Aren't there chores you're supposed to be doing?"

My past, Zuko thought, as the boy scrambled down the ladder and back to their small farmhouse. My past…

In his mind, Zuko could see his mother. All of his earliest memories, and most of his best ones, were with her. Her golden eyes had always been so warm and caring, and each time she looked at him, he could feel how much she had loved him. He loved making her laugh as a child, even if it meant doing silly things that a prince normally wouldn't do. Her lips would curve up in the most beautiful of smiles, and she would laugh, and pull him close and hug him. She always loved him, even when he did things that weren't right or when he messed up - because she was his mother. Even when he made mistakes, she accepted him for who he was.

Not like his father. A low burning filled his gut, as he thought of his father. Azula and his father had always been closer. She was a prodigy, he claimed. She had his scheming mind and his ambition, and the way she was always so eager to please him… It made Zuko sick; most likely because it always worked. His father had never been pleased with him. Each time he looked from Azula to Zuko, he could clearly see the change on his father's face. His expression went from glowing pride to a disgusted sneer, in seconds.

Azula had been conniving from the start, and she hadn't changed at all since the years had gone by. She had finally grown into her face, the one that their mother had given her, the one that could have been pretty. But where their mother had been soft and warm, Azula took the beauty she'd been given and warped it, tainted it, until it became something malicious and cold.

How? Zuko thought bitterly. How could two vastly different people - my mother and my father - come together, and make the two of us? It made no sense to Zuko. His entire life… it seemed like such a mystery, like a book where the last chapter has been torn out. There were so many things he didn't know about his family; it made his head spin.

Zuko wished he could return to those days when he was like Li, when he followed his mother around and tried his hardest to make her laugh, and asked her questions as if there was no tomorrow. He missed those days spent lounging about in the sunshine, while she sang to him or told him stories. He missed his childhood, in the beginning, before his mother had disappeared and before his father had become Fire Lord. The better days.

They hadn't been all good, of course. After all, Azula was there, always striving to be better than him when she didn't even seem to know that it wasn't a competition, and that he offered no competition anyways. Daddy's little princess. The thought made Zuko want to vomit. Daddy's little princess and her three perfect friends. He could still remember how Azula and Ty Lee would get caught up in wild competitions, which would always end up in tears on Ty Lee's end. Azula wasn't afraid to hurt anyone to get what she wanted. Mai was the quieter, shyer one at first, but when she had found out that Zuko liked Irada, she had gone what Zuko had called at the time "absolutely crazy". They didn't see each other much after that, not until they were older. And then there was Irada. She had been his best friend, since there were never any boys around. He'd kissed her for the first time when he was seven.

Zuko felt his heart harden into stone. No. Things had changed.

"Young man?"

The voice broke the link that Zuko had to his memories. His attention shifted back to the real world, and the setting sun beyond the confines of his mind. "What?"

"We're about done here, and it's starting to get dark. I said it was about supper time, if you're hungry?"

Hungry. He was starving. He couldn't remember the last time he'd had a decent meal. As if his stomach had a mind of its own, it suddenly rumbled loudly. Feeling weak, Zuko placed his hand against his stomach and clutched, his fingers flexing. Ugh. Need food.

"Son?"

Zuko's face twisted. Son. How little he had heard that. His fingers tightened against his stomach, clenching the fabric of his tunic into a tight fist. It didn't matter how many times he revisited the past, he would never be able to go back. It seemed like everyone he had once known - everyone he had thought was good - was gone. They had all been touched by the creeping taint that came from his father; Zuko could see that now. His mother had disappeared, named a traitor by his father; Irada had been corrupted by Azula, the Fire Lord's puppet.

My family - and my entire life - is so messed up.

"I'm not your son," Zuko spat, rising from the roof and going to the ladder. Gratitude be damned. This man and his quaint little family had no idea what the world was really like. Let them dream on their own; he didn't want to be part of it. He knew how cold the world was, and he knew that his family would never be like theirs. He began the descent, looking down at the ground. One hand over the other. His feet touched the solid earth.

The farmer leaned over the edge, watching him go with an expression of surprise and confusion. "Then whose son are you?"

No one's.

That night, after sharing a quiet meal with Li's family, he'd gone out to sleep in the recently finished barn. It hadn't taken long for him to fall asleep, and it had taken even less time for him to realize he wasn't alone. He could hear the small boy's hesitant footsteps in the soft dirt, though he was trying to be quiet, and Zuko knew immediately when Li had taken his swords. Sighing quietly to himself, he followed the boy, finding him playing wildly with the swords in a field of flowers.

Amused, Zuko watched Li for a few minutes, before saying, "You're holding them all wrong."

Li froze, his expression guilty. Instead of berating him, like he might have had the boy not reminded Zuko of his past self, he strolled over. Gently, he moved Li's arms until the boy had it right. "Keep in mind, these are dual swords - two halves of a single weapon. Don't think of them as separate, because they're not. They're just two halves of the same whole."*

Zuko blinked suddenly, straightening up. Kiya had told him that exact same thing, word for word, when she taught him how to dual-wield. The memory shot straight into his heart, and pain echoed inside of his ribs. Kiya. He missed her snide humor, and the way she was constantly undermining his authority. It was infuriating, but there was something about her that made him kind of like their arguments. He missed her presence; it was like a gnawing ache inside of him that grew every day.

Idly, Zuko watched Li as he used the swords the way he had been instructed. However, his mind was far away. He thought of the next day, how he would leave in the morning, following the dusty road that would bring him closer to the girl that had been taken from him; the only girl that had ever cared enough to take a bolt of lightning for him; the girl he thought that maybe - just maybe - he was falling in love with.


"So her name is Kiya, and she's your sister?"

Kiya. Is that my name? Is that who I am?

The smiling girl who was standing on her hands peered at Kiya upside down. Her big brown eyes glittered with curiosity, and she walked around in a circle, passing from Kiya's blurry sight. "She really does look just like you!"

The taller girl, the one with the bland expression and pale face, rolled her eyes. "That's because they're twins, genius." Her voice was devoid of any emotion, and she raised a hand to inspect her devilishly sharp nails. "Though I don't see what's so great about her. She just looks like a mess to me."

"Now who's stating the obvious, Mai?" Azula asked, scoffing. "We've been torturing her. Obviously she's a mess. And she's going to stay that way. I think her skills with a blade surpass even yours!"

The girl called Mai glared. "We'll see about that. Just try and escape, Viper."

The acrobatic girl swung back into Kiya's faded vision. "So that's what we're doing right now? We're trying to find their hideout?"

"Yes, Ty Lee. She finally broke and divulged their secret location. I'm hoping that I can either scare them into pledging loyalty to me - or buy their services. Surely a league of assassins would be useful in finding not only the elusive Avatar, but also my traitor brother and my stupid uncle."

I broke. Forgive me, everyone. I gave up.

Mai looked over at Irada, who was standing silently with her arms crossed. "So is it true? Was she really with Zuko?"

"How should I know?" Irada snapped. "What are we even doing in here, gawking at the prisoner? Why aren't we pestering the helmsman to go faster? I hate all of this waiting around."

"Good point," Azula said, cutting off Mai's snappish reply. "We should go press him. Come along, girls. If we frighten him enough, we could be there by tomorrow morning."

The three of them left the room quickly, without a backwards glance. Irada, on the other hand, hesitated in the doorway. She looked back once, biting her lip like she wanted to say something.

Almost. I almost thanked you.

Gathering what little strength she had left, Kiya spit blood on the ground, and grinned meanly at Irada. Her twin's face fell flat, and with a sigh, she followed her friends out, slamming the door shut behind her.


This chapter takes place during the episode "Zuko Alone", as you may have already been able to tell. Sorry it's taken me so long to get this out here! Even though I'm still really busy, I'm trying to work on this and Ouroboros, so I can at least finish one by the end of the year.

Chapter Title Credit: Kerli - "Bulletproof"