Thanks to everyone who read, alerted and most of all to Layla Knowe for reviewing!
The House That Built Me
I tightened the fur cloak around me. Tigris had given it to me, so I would return home with the appropriate attire for a victor. I had thought to be used to the cold, seen as at the great lake, we had either suffocating heat or freezing cold. But I had lost a lot of weight in the arena and so I shivered even under the protection of my cloak.
I was standing on the platform, waiting to step onto the train that would bring me back home. But Enobaria and Felix had disappeared along the train to say goodbye to a few of their fellow mentors. Next year, I realized, I would be in Enobaria's place. I shuddered at the thought. Enobaria had mentored for seven years now - I was the first tribute she could bring home. I did not know how she did it; it had to be hard to see your tributes die.
"So, Berenice," Marcia's hands fluttered around me, adjusting my hair and the flow of the cloak. "You know what we talked about - countenance, smiling!"
"Yes," I said. "I know all of that."
She held me at an arm length to get another look at me. "You're perfect," she said. "I couldn't have a better victor."
I was not too sure how to respond to that - she surely did not want to hear that without me, she would not have a victor at all - so I responded with the one thing I knew all Capitolites loved. Flattery.
"I couldn't have a better escort," I said. "You've been a great help."
At least whenever I had had to be on time. Marcia broke out into a huge smile and she suddenly hugged me tightly. I had to actively keep myself from flinching away at the sudden intimacy.
"I'll see you soon," she squeaked and then she hurried away, leaving me alone on the platform.
I took a deep breath and tried to shake the sudden feeling of menace off. I got it whenever someone unexpectedly touched me, even though it seemed ridiculous.
"You should have gotten in without us," Enobaria scolded as she arrived by my side. "We don't want you to be sick now..."
"I'm all right," I assured her. "Don't worry."
We climbed onto the train and settled down in the nearest compartment. The train ride between the Capitol and District Two was not very long; in fact, we would reach our destination in little over an hour.
Felix joined us just as the train started to pull out of the station. He fell into a seat next to Enobaria without a word. I turned away to look at the tall, bright buildings of the Capitol passing by.
"Ready for home?" Enobaria asked. "They sent a TV team ahead of us-"
"Of course they did," I said without taking my eyes off the scenery outside.
"What are you staring at?" Felix grumbled. "Didn't get to see the city, after all?"
"Don't be ridiculous," I said, finally focusing on him as we entered the tunnel that led out of the Capitol. "I never planned to make a city trip."
"I see," he said. "So lying wasn't just a tactic in the arena."
He jumped up and left the compartment fuming. I stared after him open-mouthed before I turned to Enobaria. "What is his problem?"
"Felix can be difficult-"
"This is about Justin, right? Well, that's absurd, taking it out on me!"
"I'm sure this isn't about Justin," Enobaria said reasonably. "Just give him a space. The Games are hard for all of us-"
"Guess what," I said. "It's been pretty hard for me, too. I really don't want to deal with his poor mood on top of that!"
She did not seem to have an answer for that; at least, she did not answer me. We left the tunnel and the trains now passed through the wilderness of District Two's mountains. It was an oddly comforting sight. Most trainees often went hiking to keep in shape, even though the peacekeepers would have rather kept us in their immediate sight. Besides, I enjoyed the occasional quiet. My two cousins were still small and therefore loud and I barely had a minute to myself when I was at home. So I had quickly taken to spend a lot of time either at the academy or out in the open.
The train's descent into the valley had me glued to the window again. The glittering surface of the great lake came into view as well as the roofs of the town spread out at its bank. The train slowed considerably as we rolled into town and approached the station.
It stopped with a jolt and I was at my feet at once. Enobaria grinned at my enthusiasm but I had no mind to feel embarrassed about it. I would finally be home and in a matter of minutes would hug my family.
The only thing I noted when I stepped off the train was a high-pitched squeal before the tiny body of my five-year-old cousin slammed into me. Shortly out of guard, I stumbled a step backwards and needed Felix to steady me. Then, tough, I swept the girl up into my arms, only to have her clutch my neck so tightly that breathing became difficult.
Still, I managed to dislodge her a little bit and get a proper look at her. Ligeia was still just as tiny, her chocolate brown eyes were still just as a big and she was smiling as though she was still just as happy as when I had left.
"Hey, midget," I said.
"Hey, giant," she said back and I grinned down at her.
"You look real good."
"You came back," she answered and suddenly her smile dropped a little bit. "Mum said she didn't know if you would."
"I promised you I would," I told her. "Don't you trust me?"
I set her to her feet again as I became aware of the cameras that had caught our reunion. I smiled and nodded along with the congratulations as I pulled Ligeia over to the rest of my family. My aunt was the first to hug me.
"How are you?" I asked.
"Silly girl," she said gently. "We're all fine! How are you?"
"Fine," I said, too. "Just fine."
"Nissa!" another small voice exclaimed and before I could answer, Basil had thrown his arms around me.
"Hey there," I said, hugging the boy to me. He did not budge, even when I tried to free myself from his arms to greet Uncle Tycho.
Instead, mine and his eyes met; the same dark brown, almost black eyes, the eyes that my mother certainly had shared, too. Uncle Tycho and I had always understood each other without words. We could read the mind of the other from their eyes and this time proved to be no different. I did see the relief and the happiness swimming in his eyes, but there was also something else, a little harder to pinpoint. It looked like regret, but I shrugged it off, unwilling to dwell on this right here and now.
I finally managed to peel Basil off of me and then we somehow made our way out of the station. I still smiled and waved, while Uncle Tycho brushed past the reporters, causing one of them to lose his microphone. The man had to scramble throuh the crowd to get it back.
A short while later, I was standing in my room, packing up the few things left. Victors and their families were required to move into the Victor's Village and so, my aunt had already been busy packing up ever since I had won. It was strange, I thought, to be leaving this place and I wondered why they made you do it. In a way, once you left for the Hunger Games, you never returned home, victor or not.
There was a light knock on the door case and I turned to find Uncle Tycho watching me curiously.
"I'm almost done," I said. "I'll be downstairs to pack up the kitchen in a few-"
"Slow down," he said, stepping into the room and closing the door behind him. "I wanted to talk to you."
I narrowed my eyes at him as I caught that same look he gave me earlier at the station. "What's that look for?"
"You left that boy to die."
I raised an eyebrow at him. "Justin? He was going to die, anyway."
"But you left him. He was your ally, your district partner and you left him."
"He was hurt," I said, squaring my shoulders. "He had that huge gash on the shoulder and a smaller wound on the leg. He was slowing me down. Had I stayed with him, the others would have caught us and I probably wouldn't be standing here, justifying my actions in the arena. You have never been in there, you have no idea what it's like."
"You're right," he admitted slowly. "I was never in there. But your mother was. And Eunice would have never-"
"My mother was no saint," I said harshly. "She killed, too."
"But she never killed her allies in their sleep!" he exclaimed.
"So, what are you saying?" I challenged. "Would you rather I had not come home?"
He looked positively horrified at that suggestion. "Of course not. I just worry about you. This is not how we raised you. This is not what Eunice would have wanted you to be."
"I'll never know what she wanted!" I said furiously. "She chose to end her life and she left us guessing what she could possibly want."
"Berenice-"
"Look," I interrupted him. "She left you all that money to send me to the academy and she left me her knife. Do you think that's coincidence? Cause I don't. I think she wanted me to win and I won, that's all that matters."
He nodded slowly and he became suddenly very collected. "I see," he said. "Forget I ever said anything."
I did not like that at all, for it seemed like one of those 'the wiser head gives in'-moments and I did not at all feel like he was the wiser head. Still, I did not want to make this even more of a fight. For that, I was far too happy to be back.
"All right," I said.
He made to leave the room, but turned back once more with his hand on the doorknob. "But never," he said. "Never think I didn't want you to come back."
I swallowed hard at the smothering sincerity in his voice and all I could do was nod sharply before he left and pulled the door closed behind him.
I took a deep breath to steady myself. I could not count all the times that we had lead that discussion about my mother. We had heatedly argued about it, over and over again.
It did not do to dwell on these things, I decided. Today, I should be celebrating with my family. They needed me with them and not up here pouting.
I grabbed my bag and made for the door. With my hand on the doorknob, I paused again and looked back at the room I grew up in. I had outgrown my childhood once and for all, I realized, the moment that I had volunteered. There was nothing holding me back.
I dropped my bag in the hallway, next to various other bags and boxes and then joined my family in the kitchen. Aunt Olivia was packing up the dishes while Basil carefully sorted napkins into a box by colour. I wondered shortly about Ligeia, before she suddenly rammed into me on her run through the kitchen.
"Midget," I scolded, causing her to stick out her tongue at me.
I would never know how, but Aunt Olivia had somehow seen that, even though her back was turned. "Be nice, Ligeia," she said. "Nissa just got back."
"I'm fine," I said. I really did not need them to tiptoe around me.
"I'm sure you are, dear. We'll be done here shortly and then the Mayor assured me someone would drive us over and you can-"
"I'm fine," I repeated. "I've been fed and pampered ever since I got out of the arena, I really am fine."
My aunt's head snapped sharply to me and then her eyes flickered to Ligeia, as if she did not want me talking about any of that. I wondered how she imagined that would happen.
"Speaking of arena," I said. "I still have the necklace."
I pulled it from underneath my tunic. It was a polished granite stone hanging on silver necklace; apparently, Aunt Olivia's father had polished it himself. She had insisted that I take it as a token into the arena and I had been panicked to lose or break it. But here it was, back home in one piece, just like me.
"Oh, no," my aunt said. "You keep it."
"It's yours," I said. "It was a token, now I'm giving it back."
"It was meant to protect you and to remind you of home. I imagine you can still use that in the future."
I sighed heavily. Though with a bad conscience, I finally relented. "Thank you."
She reached out and took my face in her hands. "No, I thank you," she said. "For coming back home."
Then she kissed me on the forehead and both Basil and Ligeia hissed, "Mum!"
We both laughed and the spell was broken.
"Oh, you two!" she said. "Go on, then! Your uncle still needs help in the backyard. And you, Basil, come back here - what is this mess? Do those things look tidy to you?"
While she continued to scold Basil for untidy napkins, I grabbed Ligeia around her middle and together, we fled the kitchen.
Please consider reviewing. Just type something into that box below... I'd be happy ;)
