►The Living Dead
Ruka and Mikan are as happy as can be. The past is the past, and only the present matters. The future will be thought about later. "Live in the moment," is Ruka's motto. Natsume is believed to be dead, after not coming back from a mission, but… what happens when he comes back? Into Mikan's school, into her world, and… into her heart? Pairings: Natsume x Mikan, Ruka x Mikan, and others.
This chapter has a song in it, so that's why it's a little longer than usual. Hope you all enjoy, and please review the story!
Key Notes:
Italics: Used when emphasizing a word, or writing Japanese, or a flashback/thought.
A/N: Author's Note
Previously…
I'm going to die. Kune shut his eyes.
You are not going to die, BAKAYARO, the stone, THE STONE! The voice seemed to come back.
Kune wanted to open his eyes in surprise, but didn't want Shinto to think he was planning something. He slowly, slowly slipped his hand into his pocket, and found the familiar smooth edge of the orange stone he treasured so much.
Onegai (Please)!
"Say good-bye, Kune."
Lend me your power, MIKAN!
▬Chapter Three: Regretted Song▬
An ear-splitting scream cut through the air like a sharp knife. A man and a boy both collapsed on the stairs. Kune was panting heavily, trying to catch his breath. Shinto, however, was still screaming, clutching his hand in pain as it turned a shade of dark red, then brown, then black.
Shinto stared at his rotting hand, as if not believing his eyes…
"You… you…" Shinto winced and moaned again, "You akuma (Devil)!" Shinto suddenly lunged at Kune.
It took all of Kune's strength to swipe his hand over Shinto's head and dodge to the right.
Haaaa… Shinto's head burst into angry red flames.
"AHHHHHH!" Shinto was trying to put the fire in his hair out, when suddenly, as if his batteries died, he froze and stumbled backwards. His clumsy movements caused him to trip on the stairs, one after another, falling down the spiraling staircase… and then a thud.
Kune's eyes unfocused for a second, then remembered what he still needed to accomplish. He raced down the stairs, now knowing that the other way was a dead end. As he passed Shinto's bleeding body, he closed his eyes and tried not to think about his feet soaking wet with Shinto's blood from the stairs…
"Mikan-chan!"
"Nn?" 16-year-old Mikan, who was walking down the halls of the school turned around and saw 17-year-old Yuu Tobita, who was attempting to balance the Leaning Tower of Piza Books.
"Iinchou! What do you need?" Mikan hurried to Yuu lessening his massive load.
"Arigatou, Mikan-chan! Jitsuwa (Actually)… I was wondering if you could do my a huge favor." Yuu patted his forehead with his 3-star handkerchief.
"Eh? Of course, sure! What is it?" Mikan smiled as she carried half of the books to a classroom, with Yuu trailing behind.
"Well, my friend wanted to know if you could help them with the talent show," Yuu replied.
"Well, of course, of course! I'm not good with heights, so I can't hang the high stuff, but I'm good at making posters, and—"
"Ano…" Yuu interrupted nervously, "Actually, one of their participants, a singer, backed out on the last minute, and so they have an open spot that they have to fill. I wanted to know… if you could…?"
Mikan looked taken aback. "A-a-atashi (Me)?"
"Mochirou-desu (Of course)! Your singing is amazing, Mikan-chan!"
"I don't know… about that…" Mikan replied, embarrassed. They set their books down on the classroom shelf and walked out into the hallway.
"Onegai (Please), Mikan-chan! Just this time… my friend really needs your help, without it, the Talent Show wouldn't be a success!" Yuu, on accident, created an illusion with kawaii (cute) puppies staring at Mikan with their big eyes.
"Iinchou! Stop that!" Mikan sighed. "Okay, okay, I'll do it."
Yuu's illusion immediately vanished. "Honton (Really)? I better go tell them at once! Oh, and choose a song to sing tonight! Ganbare (Good luck)!"
With that, Yuu Tobita ran off immediately before Mikan could change her mind. Mikan sighed again, then walked in the direction of her room.
A song to sing…
Crouching low, Kune hid behind a huge pillar and spied on the two men talking.
"Heard about…"
"Not really interesting…"
"Hungry… want to go eat?"
Kune exhaled. So the news of his escape did not reach the others yet.
So far, so good. Kune thought, when suddenly, an excruciating pain came from his ankle.
Damn, I need to fix this thing…
He gasped when a woman walked into view. She looked exactly like Mikan, but with a different hair-style and color. Was it…?
The men nodded at the women respectively. "Yuka."
"How do you do." Yuka said curtly, before shifting her eyes a little toward Kune's direction.
Kune stiffened, and flattened himself even more on the pillar. His heart rate sped up.
Yuka lips parted a little bit, as if she was going to say something… but then closed them and went inside the building.
Kune inhaled deeply and exhaled slowly. I've got to hurry.
Suddenly, he saw another woman appear into view. Kune darted back into his hiding place in a flash.
"Ano… did you just see something?" The woman's voice was a little high-pitched, but as smooth as honey, and very calm.
"Ie (No), Kahoko-sama. If you shall excuse us, we have some business to attend to." The men bowed and walked away.
Kune rolled his eyes. The 'business' probably meant they're going to indulge on food. And why the heck did they call her 'sama'?
(A/N: 'Sama' is in higher respect than 'Senpai', but lower than 'Domo')
"Oh!" One of the men who walked away called back. "Injured man to cure at C-18! Forgot to tell you! Boss says to go heal him ASAP, guess he's important."
The woman, named Kahoko, nodded and was about to hurry inside when she saw a trail of blood coming from a pillar.
Shibata (Shit)! Kune thought immediately, thinking of someway to escape.
Wait… the ugly man said to go 'heal' the injured… does she have the Healing Alice? Kune saw the woman coming closer to him. Gotta try.
Kune slowly crawled out of his hiding place, and Kahoko gasped. Kune hoped she didn't know he was supposed to be a prisoner.
"Kowai-sou (Poor thing)! Come here!"
Kune ignored her and kept on going. The woman ended up running to him. "Hey—"
"Don't touch me." Kune growled, red eyes blazing.
The woman looked taken aback, but softened her eyes and cooed, "You need help. Let me heal you, it'll just take a second okay?"
Kune widened his eyes. Was this some trick? Or is she always this dumb…and nice?
Before he knew what was happening, Kune felt Kahoko's hand touch his wounds gently, and he felt happy… he remembered a pair of soft hands like this…
"There. See, it wasn't so bad!" Kahoko stood up and helped Kune up to his feet. Kune looked into her face… she reminded him of her… so stupid and dumb.
But nice.
"Waaaah!" Mikan threw her hands above her head, leaning back on her computer chair and slouching.
"What song should I pick?" Mikan tried to keep control, but to her credit, she spent a full 60 minutes searching up songs she knew on the Internet, and rejecting all of them one by one.
"The love songs I know just don't fit Ruka and me. UGH! Douuuuuuuushite (Whyyyyy)? And Hotaru will kill me if I sing a song about us."
Mikan swiveled her chair towards the window and looked at the beautiful valley view. Her eyes unfocused as she stared…
"Natsume! What did you get for number 19?" I skipped over to Natsume, who was quietly "reading his manga" when I knew he was just sleeping.
"Do your own homework, Mizutama (Polka-dots)," he replied grumpily, before sleeping again.
I pouted, with my fists clenched to my sides; I hated that stupid jerk! I was just trying to ask him nicely! I can't believe I kissed him! I can't believe I'm his girlfriend!
"NEVERMIND, then, you arrogant, selfish, perverted—hey! WHERE ARE YOU GOING, YOU JERK? DON'T YOU DARE IGNORE ME… HEY! COME BACK HERE!"
I felt a killing aura come out of me when I saw Natsume ignoring me as he walked out the classroom door, with Ruka following him and giving me an apologetic look.
"Fine!" I gritted my teeth and sat down with a flourish. "I don't care what he does."
"Ne, ne, Mikan-chan! What's your relationship with Natsume?" Nonoko popped up in front of me and grinned "knowingly".
"What do you mean?" I rolled my eyes.
"Well, you guys don't seem to get along, even though you guys love each other," Anna winked.
I felt like I wanted to gag. "Don't use the 'love' word. God, it makes me want to gag when I think that I love him. I only 'like' him, okay?" I, too, stood up and walked out of the classroom.
The moment I walked out, however, I felt someone pull my wrist and drag me to who-knows-where. To my surprise, it was Natsume.
"What are you doing? Let go!"
"Just shut up, Ichigo-kara (Strawberry Print)."
I wondered what the hell was going on as I let him drag me outside the school building and to the Sakura tree.
"What do you want, Natsume?" I crossed my arms on my chest and looked at him expectantly.
"I… I'm going on a mission tomorrow." Natsume's eyes were hidden under the shadow of his bangs.
"What does that I have to do with me?"
"Are you still mad at me about the stupid homework problem?"
"Does it matter? We're always like this. I'm so tired of understanding you. One minute you hate me, ignore me, call me names, and the next you're kissing me and calling me 'Mikan'. I don't get you, and I don't think I want to try anymore."
I saw Natsume close his eyes, his mouth opened, as if he wanted to explain something really complicated to me. He suddenly closed his mouth suddenly and looked up.
"My mission, it's top-class dangerous, and I just want to tell you that I might be gone for a while."
"Oh, is that so?"
I sounded sarcastically mean, but in truth, a million thoughts were running through my head, but I still did not speak. A couple significant ones were:
Why didn't you tell me earlier?
Why do you have to go?
How long will it take?
Will you come back?
What if you don't?
"I see," I said slowly.
"Jaa (See you). That's all I wanted to say."
"Wait!" I blurted suddenly. My hands flew up to my mouth as he turned around slowly and stared at me with an unreadable expression.
"I…"
"Don't leave me, Natsume, please! Promise you'll be back?" was want I wanted to say. But I slowly closed my eyes and sighed. "Nothing," was what I ended up saying.
I blinked back tears as I watched his figure slip out of my sight…
Mikan jerked her gaze from her window and onto her computer. She realized her tears were brimming on the side of her eyes, even though no tears fell on her cheeks. She hastily wiped them away and clicked a few buttons on her computer.
"I think I have a song to sing now…"
Kune left Kahoko after that. She didn't ask me any nosy questions, and he was grateful. Feeling 200 better than before, he ran off in search of the Academy.
Problem was, he didn't know where the hell I was. Kune looked for street signs, and saw one. "Harajuku Street."
Harajuku Street? The famous fashion street? Kune wondered. It was a start.
"Oi. Do you know where Alice Academy is?" Kune roughly grabbed hold of a random man's arm.
"Alice Academy? You're far, far away from it boy. I suggest you take Bus #8 at the station over there and get off when you're at Alice Academy. They take tourists to the Academy. Now will you let go of me?" The man violently shook Kune off and stomped away, fuming that he wasted 1 minute of his time answering such a stupid question. He felt a little weird though, as if his body was lighter than usual…
Kune was already rushing off to the nearest bus station, a certain someone's heavy wallet in his hands.
"Mikan! You're late!" A man's whiny voice teased.
Mikan, who just walked backstage of the talent show, looked at the blonde-haired man who just talked to her. "Narumi-sensei!"
"So you said yes? Perfection! Now, let's see… what are you going to sing…" Narumi scanned the page in his hands. "Oh! Great song… Mikan-chan… are you thinking what I think you're thinking?"
Mikan nodded confidently. "Hai. Dai-jou-bu (I'll be alright)!"
"That's the spirit!" Narumi hugged Mikan. "I have to go tell your accompanists about their sheet music, I'll be back soon, 'kay? Meanwhile, go to Misaki, she'll do your make-up."
Mikan choked. "Make-up?"
"Yes, of course! I want to beautify Mikan-chan 'til she reaches goddess perfection!" a voice replied behind her.
Mikan whirled around and saw Misaki-senpai grinning at her, dressed very fashionably, twirling her make-up brush through her fingers absentmindedly. Her pink hair had a fresh blowout. "Come on, we haven't got much time to make you fabilicious!" she exclaimed as she ushered Mikan into the make-up room.
Ffffwaaaaa… fffwaaaaa…
The buildings passed the bus one by one.
Kune pressed his hands against the bus's windows as he looked outside. He couldn't believe he was going to finally come back…
It's been too long…
"So, what's going on between Ruka and you? Tell all." Misaki lifted her mascara wand and carefully but efficiently applied the dark powder to Mikan's long eyelashes.
Mikan, trying her hardest not to blink, replied, "Well, it's okay. You know, the usual. We fight sometimes, but they're not very serious."
"Oh, I see." Misaki put down the mascara and unscrewed a bottle of shimmering pink lipgloss. She held it up to Mikan's lips. "Forgive me for asking, but… can I ask you about Natsume?"
Mikan blinked. Her eyes started filling up…
"Oh no! No, forget it! MIKAN! No, no, stop crying!" Misaki looked very alarmed.
"You're mascara's gonna to run, honey!" Misaki hurriedly prepared some Kleenex tissues.
Despite herself, Mikan started laughing. "You're so funny, Misaki-senpai!"
Misaki sighed, hand over her heart. "I'm serious, you're going to give me a heart failure one day, Mikan!"
"But, I don't really want to talk about him." Mikan stared at her reflection in the mirror.
Misaki nodded. "Okay."
Will you be alright, Mikan?
An hour passed by…
Kune was still on the bus. He wouldn't arrive at Alice Academy for another 3 hours. He made himself comfortable and drifted off to sleep.
"Does it matter? We're always like this. I'm so tired of understanding you. One minute you hate me, ignore me, call me names, and the next you're kissing me and calling me 'Mikan'. I don't get you, and I don't think I want to try anymore."
I felt like my heart had holes, and all of it was leaking out. I never thought about it that way. Did she really hate me that much? I decided to tell her straight out.
"My mission, it's top-class dangerous, and I just want to tell you that I might be gone for a while."
"Oh, is that so?"
I looked into her face. She seemed to be thinking. Probably all the wonderful things she could do without me around.
"I see," she said.
"Jaa. That's all I wanted to say." I couldn't stand it anymore, I had to get away. How could one girl hurt me that much? I thought it wasn't possible… but then I met her, and everything changed.
"Wait!" She called. I saw her hands fly up to her mouth, as if she shouldn't have said that. Inside, I was begging her to continue, to tell me that she wanted me to stay, that she loved me. Then, I would say I loved her too, and everything would be alright.
"I… nothing."
"I see how it is," I murmured silently to myself as I walked away.
On the day I left, I didn't see Mikan anywhere. She probably hated me. I knew it was my fault. I treated her like she was dirt, made fun of her panties, and… the line that broke my heart:
"I'm so tired of understanding you…"
"Testing, testing, 1-2-3," Mikan spoke into the microphone. She was on the talent show stage, preparing for her first rehearsal. She was really nervous, because she only got to practice once before the live show. The other participants got to rehearse 4 times over the course of 3 weeks.
Oh well. Gotta wing it, then. Mikan thought, while humming the song softly to herself.
Narumi ran up to the stage and looked up and Mikan, who was gripping the microphone nervously in her sweaty hands. "Okay, Mikan-chan! You'll be the last to perform tonight, so when you go on stage, say a little speech, then nod and we'll cue your music for you!"
Mikan nodded a little too much.
Narumi's eyes softened. "Are you nervous, Mikan-chan?"
"HAI!" Mikan blurted loudly.
Narumi chuckled softly. "Don't worry. As long you sing with emotion to whoever you're singing for, I know you will be amazing."
Mikan smiled sadly. "Arigatou, Otou-san (Daddy)."
"We're ready for the music, in a-3. a-2, and a- 1…"
Whoever you're singing for…
"Welcome to the 20th annual Gakuen Alice Talent Show!" The host, who happened to be Ruka, waited for the audience to die down. "I'm Ruka Nogi, and standing right here with me is Hotaru Imai."
Hotaru didn't look too happy. Mikan was supposed to host with Ruka, but since she had to do the talent show, Hotaru took her place, being the "caring" friend she was. She was wearing a simple black blouse, while Ruka looked very professional with his crisp tuxedo.
"We hope you enjoy tonight's show, and now, with our first participant…" Hotaru and Ruka stepped off the stage…
The audience applauded politely after Sumire, the second to last participant, finished singing.
"This year's show SUCKS, man."
"Tell me about it. A bunch of singing wannabes, no real potential whatsoever."
"OMG, I agree! Not one single real talent on there!"
"I shouldn't have spent my rabbits on this crap of a show."
"I should've known. If it's Narumi, it's bad."
Oh my god. Mikan clutched her stomach as the butterfly mob struck again. I can't believe this is happening.
She was sitting in the waiting lounge backstage of the talent show. She overheard a bunch of students' discussion when they walked out the auditorium. Did this year's show really suck?
I'll just make it worse…
"Mikan! You're up after this one. Get ready."
Mikan nodded. She looked down at the mini-speech she hastily wrote. I can I really do this?
"No. I can't. But I have to, for my sake…"
She heard the faint applause of the audience onstage. Her stomach clenched, and she hugged her knees to her chest. On the outside, she was a "fabilicious goddess", according to Misaki, wearing a simple dress over a pair of sequin jeans, but still looked glamorous times 10. Her brown hair was in a high ponytail, with a few loose strands coming down. Mikan wanted to go in sandals, but Misaki practically slapped her and forced her to wear a pair of high-heels to match her dress.
But that was the outside. Never judge a person on the outside, you will get them all wrong, 99 of the time. Inside, Mikan was a hell of an emotional wreck.
"And last, but definitely not least, is my girlfriend, Mikan Sakura!" Ruka announced.
Mikan's head shot up. He. Did. NOT just say that. Mikan blushed furiously and stood up from her comfy chair in the waiting lounge. She rolled her shoulders back and held her head high.
"Enjoy our last performance."
Mikan exhaled through her mouth slowly, then, microphone grasped in hand, and the clack of her heels, she walked on stage and faced the massive, unhappy, audience.
She felt her chest tighten as she felt 300 pairs of eyes staring at her. "H-Hi, miina (everyone), my name is Mikan Sakura…" she murmured, small post-it note that held her script in front of her face.
"I CAN'T HEAR YOU!"
"I CAN'T SEE YOU!"
Mikan looked up, startled, and her fear was shown in her eyes. She saw Hotaru come up from the side of the stage. She faced her, surprised. Was Hotaru going to do a duet with her?
That would be awesome! Mikan thought hopefully.
Those hopes were ripped into shreds as Hotaru snatched her speech paper in front of everyone and ripped it up.
"No one can see your ugly face behind that, baka," she muttered as she ran off stage once more.
Mikan's hands were shaking, now that she had nothing to hold onto.
She cleared her throat.
One audience member yawned.
Mikan fiddled with her dress.
She thought she heard somebody snoring in the audience.
"H-h-hi, my name is, um, Mikan Sakura-desu." Mikan spoke quietly into the microphone.
I can't do this.
Suddenly, she saw Anna, Koko, Nonoko, and You-chan's faces in the crowd, raising "GO MIKAN" banners and cheering. She felt a surge of happiness in her heart, closed her eyes, and continued.
"Actually, I'm not supposed to be here. I'm just a replacement for a participant who was supposed to perform." Mikan saw Narumi wave like a maniac, probably to tell her she was not supposed to say that, but Mikan just looked up and smiled.
"So, I decided to sing this song, for a person that I hated, love, and lost."
Ruka gasped. Hotaru stared at Mikan from the side of the stage.
Mikan closed her eyes slowly again. "Please listen to, Regret by Mai Hoshimura."
The lights dimmed, and the guitar accompanist started playing.
(A/N: Romanji is in bold, Translations are in italics, Mikan's thoughts are in parenthesis)
Mado no soto no keshiki utsuri kawatte
The landscape outside the window shows a gushing river
Kisetsu made ga atashi wo oiteku
Even the season is leaving me behind
(I felt my heart leaking, as the seasons passed by, fall, winter, spring, summer… and still he hasn't come back…)
Dare yori chikaku ni ite fuan no tame ni
I was closer to you than anyone, because of my insecurity
doushite ano tokikizu kenakatta
Why didn't I realize it at that time?
(Everyone said I was very close to you, I was ignorant and denied it, my excuse was that I hated you… why didn't I realize it?)
Anata no sugata ga mienaku naru mae ni
Your figure slipped out of my sight before me
(I blinked back tears as you slipped from my sight… it was the last time I would see you before you left, yet I still yelled at you… said I didn't understand you…)
tatta no tatta hito koto
I didn't say
Ikanaide ga ienakatta
The only, single thing I wanted to – "Don't leave me"
(I wanted to say "Don't leave me" and "Promise you'll be back?", but, I ended up saying nothing…)
"Anata ga shiawase nara sore de"
"If you're happy, then it's alright"
Ii nante zettai ni ienai
That I can never say
Nejima ga ata konna kokoro ga
Your heart is mixed up
Doushiyouwo mo nai kurai
I don't know what to do
Atashi wa kirai
I hate it so much
Tanjoubi ni moratta 'initial ring'
The 'initial ring' I received on my birthday
Omoi dase batsurai dake na no ni
It's only painful if I remember it
(I thought you said we will be together always… why did you leave? Left, without a trace… only our Alice proposal stones left behind…)
Ima sara wakatta no wa omou ijou ni
What I knew at this late hour is that this is all I'm thinking about:
"Anata wo hitsuyou doushiteta koto?"
"Why is it that I needed you?"
(Why did I need you, Natsume? I know the answer now… I love you)
Futari de kidzuita chikasa e kowasu youni
The two of us noticed the break approaching our closeness
Kokoro to urahara ni detekita kotoba ajikenai "Sayonara"
Unlike what the heart said, the words were dull - "Goodbye"
(If I knew you would not come back, I would have said Good-bye the day you left… but I was stubborn and stupid…)
Anata ga sugoku kou kai suru
You regret it greatly
Sonna higa kuru koto no sonderu
The hurting, unkind hand of when such a day comes
Ijiwaru te minikui kokoro ga
And, it will tease the ugly heart when it's here
Kinou youni wo motto atashi wa kirai
This ugly soul, like yesterday, I hate it even more
(I hate this life without you, Natsume… I hate the broken promises lingering in my mind… I hate having to move on in life without you…)
Mikan blinked, and realized the song was over, and, moreover, she was crying!
Not the "watery-eye" kind of crying, not the "tears-almost-falling-out" kind of crying either. No, it was the "Omigod-my-mascara-is-running-I-look-like-a-friggin-raccoon" kind of crying.
But Mikan was happy. Happier than she felt in a long, long time.
As the audience gave her a standing ovation with thunderous applause. Everyone was shocked, and amazed. All of the girls had shining tears sliding down their cheeks. The boys' mouths were open, some of the girly-ones had watery-eyes.
Seeing all this, Mikan bowed and lifted her eyes to the ceiling.
"Did you hear that, Natsume?"
See? No cliffhanger this time… I'm so proud of myself. LOLZ, just kidding. Um, well… did you like it? I decided I will put some of my favorite songs that fit this story in some of my chapters… to put more emotion in it, you know? Anyway, Regret by Mai Hoshimura is a great song, also the 7th ending of D-Gray Man. To listen to it, just go to Youtube and type in Regret by Mai Hoshimura, and get the longest one you can find, not the one-minute one. I also made a fandub for this song, but I'm not gonna tell you where to find it! (Laughs evilly) Try to guess yourself, alright? The clues are all there for you.
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o3o2g.ash
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Dominiqueanne
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Thanks guys, for reviewing, you are the best!
'til next time…
►Vanillacottoncandy◄
"To give warmth to hearts... that's the kind of person I want to become." - DGM
