Disclaimer: I'm not J.K, no matter how hard I pray.
Night Thoughts.
I like the night. It's calming, silent, beautiful. It's 2 am, and I'm laying in bed, looking up at the ceiling of my Four-Poster, trying to organise the jumbled thoughts scattered in my head.
And they all come back to one thing: James. Okay, first things first. I'll give an answer to all the questions in my head.
Q: Why is he reacting this way to me rejecting him?
A: He's obviously more serious about me than I realised.
Q: Was I too harsh on him?
A: Yes.
Q: Is he overreacting?
A: Don't Know.
Q: How many other girls has he gone out with?
A: Lots
Q: How many times has he reacted this way to other girls dumping/rejecting him?
A: None
Q: Why do I reject him all the time?
A: Don't Know
Q; Is he really that bad? Would he be an awful choice of date?
A: No, and No.
Well this is getting me nowhere. I'll try some more and see if that's any better.
Q; What are his bad qualities?
A: Drama queen, Self-absorbed, Smart-ass, Pranks too much, Bullies Slytherins, doesn't focus in class.
No, those aren't true. He does make a big deal out of things, but only things that are already a big deal. He obviously isn't self-absorbed if he's this upset about my rejection. He's not a smart-ass, he's just sarcastic, and he's not nearly as bad as Sev was. He manages to balance his pranks perfectly with his school-work, because he gets good grades. He doesn't bully the Slytherins, they antagonise him and he retaliates. He must focus in class, because as previously mentioned, he gets good grades.
Q: Okay, so what are his good qualities?
A: Smart, gorgeous eyes (They truly are magnificent. Not that I look at them in class sometimes or anything), tall, muscular, good at Quidditch, good singer and dancer, kind, compassionate, funny helpful, good friend, cunning, loyal, brave and daring (duh, he is a Gryffindor), responsible and charming.
Q; If he's all these things, why do I hate him?
A; Do I really hate him?
Merlin, that's a deep question. Do I really hate James? If I can think of all those things, he must not be that bad. He obviously took this seriously, so I should probably set things right. But what would that make us? Friends?
No, we couldn't be friends. Between him, well, liking me in that way, and me being so confused, we couldn't. But, I think we'd be good friends. We do have some stuff in common after all.
In fact, I'd quite like to be friends with him.
Woah. Where did that come from? I've gone from hating James to wanting to be his friend? This is weird.
Wait a minute.
When did he become 'James' instead of 'Potter'? And why am I thinking about this so much?
I'm going down to the common room. I can't sleep, so I'll be productive and do the Transfiguration essay I've been putting off. James is good at transfiguration...
Merlin, I'm thinking about him again. I really have to stop this.
I walk into the common room, and see...
'James?'
He looks up, like a deer caught in headlights, and meets my gaze. His expression, which was reflective and focused, turns sad.
'Oh, hey Evans. I'm just working on the transfiguration essay. I'll leave.' He says, as he gathers his quill, ink and papers.
'No, you were here first. I'll do my work in my dorm.' I say, trying to be polite, and to ease the awkwardness.
'I should be going to bed anyway, it doesn't matter.' I'm not sure if he's mad at me, or if he's trying to get away from me, so I nod and smile.
We walk up the staircase in silence, which does nothing for the tension. As he's about to slip inside his dormitory, my mouth moves of it's own accord, and calls out to him.
'James?'
'Yeah?'
'Please call me Lily.'
