"Fuck you, Eren."

"Don't blame this on me, Levi, I didn't know it was a formal party!"

I pinched the bridge of my nose and sighed. We were so dead. Petra was going to kill us. Here we were, stood in the doorway of Petra and Hanji's apartment, and literally every single person in the room was dressed in formal wear. Eren and I, however, were dressed in jeans and matching Christmas sweaters, because Eren had insisted to me that Petra told him it was a casual event.

Eren was a dirty liar.

"Okay, look, it's not so bad. No one's seen us yet, let's just go back to your apartment and change," Eren suggested. I nodded, knowing that he had half his wardrobe in my closet anyways. My fingers had just reached the doorknob when I heard Hanji call my name.

I bit the inside of my cheek, preparing for the ridicule I would inevitably receive, and turned to face her. She was grinning from ear to ear, absolutely ecstatic. "So I'm guessing you missed the memo?" she asked, and I tried very hard not to smack the grin off her face.

Eren raised his hand slightly, calling her attention away from me. "It's my fault. I thought Petra said it was casual."

Hanji laughed right in his face, and he turned bright red in the ears. "Petra's never thrown a casual event in her life! Oh, you guys are screwed," she choked out, barely able to speak for all the laughter.

"We won't be screwed if we change. Come on, Eren," I said, grabbing Eren's elbow and starting to drag him out the door. Hanji had other plans, it seemed, as she snatched me around the waist and hauled me back inside. I wanted to yell at her to let me go, but I didn't want to draw attention to myself. She let me go in the living room and immediately blocked my exit. Eren hovered nearby, unsure whether he should leave or stay.

"Save yourself," I whispered in the most serious manner I could muster, and Eren turned tail and ran out the door. At least one of us would be spared Petra's wrath.

Hanji looked like she was about to pee herself trying to contain her laughter. "You're dead. You're 100% dead," she informed me when she could no longer contain herself. I grunted and sat down on the armchair, crossing my arms over my chest.

"The least you could do is bring me a glass of wine so I don't have to deal with Petra sober." It wasn't a request, and Hanji knew that. She waved me off, but left me to go find the booze.

As soon as she was gone, I stood up and made a beeline for the door. This was my chance to escape, to change and be in acceptable attire for the party. I had the door open and was taking my first step to freedom when I heard Petra call out from behind me.

Shit.

I grit my teeth so hard I was certain I would get a lecture from my dentist at my next appointment. If I ran from her, she'd be offended and I'd ruin her night, and I couldn't stand seeing Petra cry. That is why, against my better judgement, I walked back into the apartment.

I got the pleasure of watching Petra's smile fall into something akin to confusion and then quickly shift to frustration. I braced myself as she marched towards me with fury blazing in her eyes.

"What the fuck are you wearing?"

"Clothes."

"You know what I mean, Levi. What in the world compelled you to show up to a formal party in jeans and... is that Santa being abducted by aliens?"

I glanced down at the design on the sweater. "Yes, yes it is. And for your information, it was Eren's idea. He seemed to recall you saying it was a casual event."

Petra scowled at me. "When have I ever thrown a casual event?!" she whisper yelled, seemingly trying to avoid causing a scene.

"That's what I said!" Hanji laughed, joining us in the front hall with two glasses of wine in hand. She passed one to me and kept the other for herself. I took a long drink while Hanji placed her hand on Petra's head and rubbed it gently, much to Petra's annoyance. I shot her a look, attempting to convey that she wasn't helping.

Petra smacked Hanji's hand away and fixed her hair, maintaining a menacing eye contact with me the whole time.

I tossed up my hands defensively. "Look, I'm sorry, Petra. I really am. I was just leaving to go change. I was also leaving to beat the shit out of Eren for being a dumbass," I said, turning back towards the door. I heard Petra scoff, but no one stopped me.

I finally made my way back to my apartment, where I proceeded to give Eren an earful for being an idiot and then we made out for a while because Eren looks hot when he's yelling and in a suit. In the midst of that, my phone rang, and I realised we should probably go back to the party.

Answering the call, I realised it was a slightly drunk Hanji.

"Hey, Levi, can I stay at your place tonight? Petra's upset with me for intentionally making you stay to see her blow a gasket," Hanji said, a small slur in her voice.

I sighed, pinching the bridge of my nose. "Alright, yeah. You can ride home with Eren and I when we leave," I said, grabbing the car keys and tossing them at Eren, who was standing by the front door.

"Not necessary."

"What?" I asked, scrunching my face in confusion. The front door burst open and there was Hanji, cell phone in hand, smiling at us with that goofy grin she got when she was tipsy.

I put away my phone and stared at her as she waltzed into the apartment and slumped down on the couch. "Hanji, please tell me you didn't drive here," I deadpanned.

"Pfffft," Hanji said, waving a dismissive hand at me. "Of course not, I'm drunk, not stupid. I took a cab," she clarified. She yawned and grabbed a blanket off the arm of the couch and draped it over herself, snuggling into the cushions.

Eren and I exchanged a look, and he shrugged at me. "Are we leaving her here? Will she be okay by herself?" Eren asked me. Suddenly Hanji shot upright and yelled, causing Eren to reel backwards me to knock into the fridge in surprise.

"What the fuck, Hanji?!" I yelled.

She held up a finger in response, and said "I just remembered. You two were uninvited for not being dressed appropriately."

Eren threw the car keys on the kitchen counter and groaned, walking back into the bedroom. I picked up a water bottle from the pack at the top of the fridge and threw it as Hanji, who squealed and fell back onto the couch laughing hysterically.

"If you vomit, you're cleaning it up, asshole," I told her as I went to the bedroom after Eren to relax.

The night was spent with far less alcohol and far more Hanji that I would have liked, but at least I wasn't at Petra's party horrendously underdressed.