Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight.

A/N: Thanks to my readers for waiting so patiently for this continuation from Potential. Big hugs to the gal who often betas for me, Mac214. She writes great fics so check her out. thanks to annetteskitty for pre-reading. :)


My left hand reached across my chest to knead at the muscle of my right shoulder. I circled my right elbow out beside me trying to loosen the knots that were forming and listened to my shoulder joint creak and pop as I rotated it. Garrett and I were exiting the locker room at the same time, and I popped my head up in a nod, "Good run today."

We paused together a few steps outside the door. "Yeah, I was pleased with my time. And the weather held which is definitely a plus." He shot a speculative look at the grey clouds gathering to the west. "Though I think the rain is going to start here any minute."

"I hear that," I agreed with a glance of my own at the sky and rueful chuckle. A movement over Garrett's shoulder caught my attention. What I saw brought a grin to my face. Garrett followed my look and then turned back to me with a smirk.

"Looks like someone's waiting for you."

"Looks that way," I breathed in response, but my eyes were still on the man across the way.

"I guess I'll see you tomorrow, Em." Garrett was snickering at me but I ignored it.

"Tomorrow," I repeated. His smirk deepened, and he slapped my back before walking away. He was muttering something that sounded suspiciously like go get him, tiger under his breath. He didn't have to tell me twice.

My eyes had been locked on Edward's since the moment I spotted him over Garrett's shoulder. He was standing stiffly near the wall of the athletic building, and I drank in the sight of his lean body, righteous jaw and criminal mouth.

I felt predatory and full of want. For once I felt like a tiger, sleek and liquid, rather than the lumbering bear I usually felt like. The knot in my shoulder was forgotten as a different kind of ache took its place. Edward wasn't wearing his glasses today, and I took note of the way his eyes got bigger as I advanced on him. He wrapped and unwrapped his long fingers around the strap of his bag repeatedly. Is he nervous? That thought stopped me short and I dialed back the aggressiveness of my approach. My confidence faltered as I realized that despite the visceral reaction I was having to him, I didn't quite know where we stood with each other.

But I was really fucking happy to see him, and I wanted him to know that.

"Edward!" I called out as I got close enough to meet his eye. "It's so good to see you! How are you?" I stepped right into his personal space and wrapped my hand around his bicep, sneaking my thumb under the short sleeve of his t-shirt and stroking happy circles on the muscle there. I didn't want there to be any confusion about my interest in him.

It was late Thursday afternoon, and this was the first chance I'd gotten to see Edward since the weekend meet in Portland. The morning after I dropped him off at his apartment, I had called to check on him. I wanted to see how he was feeling and to ask him to have dinner with me. Instead of getting the chance to hear his sexy-as-fuck voice, I got his voicemail. Tuesday he'd replied by text, saying that he was busy catching up on his class work after spending the weekend away. I'd answered his text as soon as I got out of class, asking him to let me know when he was caught up. I'd been waiting to hear from him ever since.

I'd been wondering if he needed some time to recuperate after the fight he'd been in, or if he was having second thoughts about me, or if he really was just that busy this week. I didn't want to crowd him, but I was going kind of crazy. I had already planned to try calling him again tonight. Two days was long enough to wait, right?

His nervous stance now that we were face to face again had me worried that I'd misread the situation entirely.

"Emmett, um, hey." The luke-warm reception had self-doubt clawing at my gut. I didn't let up on those happy circles though, and when I felt him begin to relax under my thumb, I sighed lightly in relief.

"Hey," I exhaled, smiling. "I've been thinking about you."

"Yeah?" The creases in his brow had lessened but were not gone when he looked up.

"Yeah," I reassured him. I wanted to lean in and kiss him, but he still looked a little spooked, so I didn't risk it.

"Well," he started to speak then stopped to clear his throat. "Well, I've been thinking and... writing about you."

The guilty look on his face did not give me a good feeling. Of course he'd been writing about me. That was the whole reason we met, and I was grateful for it even though I didn't relish the glaring spotlight that his article would shine on me. I was involved with several activities on campus including track, but the attention aspect was still something of a struggle for me. It was good for me in a way though, like taking vitamins or eating spinach. It was a challenge that would make me stronger if I could learn not to let the anxiety stop me from doing what I loved. I was kind of like those folks with stage-fright who make themselves sign up for drama classes or the debate team.

"I'm almost finished..." he trailed off. I gave him a moment to see if he would continue. When he didn't, I gave his bicep a quick squeeze and released him.

"That sounds like a good thing, right? Does that mean you're free to get dinner with me tonight?"

"Actually, I needed to see you before I finish." He sighed. "I need to talk to you about the article before it goes to press."

He was so hesitant. There was some of the vulnerability I had seen when I patched him up in the locker room and some of the wariness he'd had when we first met. But there was something else there too, it seemed, that I couldn't name.

While I wished that he was here just because he wanted my company, I would take the in that the article was providing me again. I clapped my hands together heartily and grinned. "Great, we can talk over dinner 'cause I'm starved! What are you in the mood for?"

He shrugged and I eyed him closely. "You're looking a little queasy, man. No greasy spoons for us tonight. And we need to be able to talk, so no place that's too loud or crowded on a Thursday night..." I ran through a list of possibilities in my head, and then grinned when I hit on the perfect choice.

"I'm thinking Thai food, but not that dodgy place on the Ave."

I didn't wait for him to answer as I clasped his shoulder and steered him towards my truck. I used the time we spent crossing campus to ask after his sister and his classes, and by the time we'd reached the parking lot he seemed a little happier and a little more relaxed.

I pointed us in the direction of the Chevy. Unlocking the beast with the fob, I smacked the hood as I rounded the front to my side. Someday I'll have the money for one of those hybrid SUV's.

"Still giving you trouble?"

"The oil light hasn't come on again yet, but I'm sure it's not long in coming. I Googled the crankcase valve fix you told me about, but I won't have time to work on it until this weekend." We slid into our seats. I studiously buckled my seat as I continued, "It seems pretty straightforward, but I wouldn't mind having you around to look it over if you have some free time?" I peeked at him out of the corner of my eye, but his face was blank.

"I'm pretty busy with stuff this weekend, sorry."

Well, that was pretty vague coming from the writer. I started the truck, checked my mirrors and backed out of my spot.

"What's this?" Edward changed the subject. He was turned in his seat, looking back at a 3D scale model I'd made for class.

"A project for one of my classes. It's a design for future improvements to the bus tunnel downtown to make public transit more accessible and reduce traffic in the city."

"What's your major?" he asked, and under his breath I heard him muttering that he couldn't believe he didn't ask me during the interview.

"Urban Design and Planning. Usually I take my bike or the bus to campus, but I drove today so I could bring my model home." We got stuck behind some traffic on our way to Capitol Hill, but Edward filled the time easily, asking me about my classes and why I chose urban planning. We were so involved in the conversation that he looked up at our surroundings in surprise when I shimmied into a parking spot just off the main thoroughfare.

"Almost there," I smiled, exiting my truck and locking it after Edward did the same. "Hungry?" My stomach growled just as he joined me on the sidewalk and he snickered.

"Not as hungry as you are, I guess."

"Guess not," I laughed, and we started walking after I nudged him to turn south down Broadway.

Angel's was known for consistently good Thai food and decent service. Its atmosphere was casual yet classy and just a touch romantic. Yeah, I was kind of manipulating the situation into a date scenario, but I wouldn't have gotten so physical with Edward last weekend if I hadn't thought we could have something together. To me, that wasn't just a quick fumble in the locker room to get off. Despite the intense vulnerability Edward had shown me that night, I didn't think he was just turning to me for comfort sex. Maybe he just needed me to remind him that I was willing to stick around.

When we got to Angel's, I stopped in front of the door and pulled it open. He hesitated when he realized where I was taking him. Eventually he stepped in, ducking under my arm that was holding the door ajar. I inhaled sharply at the pang of want I felt as he brushed past me. We crowded into the tiny area in front of the hostess stand, and I realized that I was probably standing too close behind him given the signals he been sending me today. I shifted my weight to my heels trying to give him more space without drawing attention to my movements.

The waitress led us into the main dining room. As we wove our way through the tables and chairs towards the back of the restaurant, I suddenly remembered why I always ordered take-out from Angel's rather than dining in.

There's an anxiety that sets in whenever I am in a shop with narrow aisles, or stuck in coach on an airplane, or visiting my Aunt's house that's decorated with breakable trinkets on every surface. I don't really know how to describe it except perhaps that it reminds me of what claustrophobia must be like. I feel closed-in and clumsy. I feel overly large for the space available, like a bull in a china shop. I think that's one reason why track suits me so well. It's all that open space and fresh air and the chance to discipline my body to obey me in that space. On the field, I feel the relief of having control over my movements. It's a feeling that irrationally disappears whenever I find myself in a confined space, or a restaurant crowded with tiny glass-topped tables, or when anyone draws attention to my bulky size.

I steadied myself with deep breaths. When the waitress stopped at a miniscule table for two, I balked, scanning the space for an empty four-top. "Excuse me, miss, but I think we need that one." I didn't give her time to say no. I might have felt bad for bull-dozing over the diminutive Thai hostess like that if I hadn't felt such a powerful relief to be done threading through the tight maze of tables and seated at one that was actually big enough for me.

We were both quiet for a bit as we looked over the menu. I felt my heart rate settling down to normal after my little bout of anxiety. "Have you eaten here before? I can recommend something if you haven't."

"That's okay, I've been here before… with Peter."

That's a can of worms I'm not going to open unless he does. I could tell by Edward's scowl that he didn't want to talk about the ex. I was grateful because it seemed we had enough tension already.

I waited until we had ordered before bringing up the topic that seemed to be making Edward so angst-ridden. "So... you needed to talk to me about something before you finish the article?"

"Two things really." He looked like he didn't know how to continue.

"It's okay, Edward. Give me the bad news first," I joked. He looked like he still couldn't decide what to say first. That did not bode well for me.

"I shouldn't see you while I'm working on the article," he finally said, twisting his water glass in circles. "Journalism ethics requires me to have a detachment from the story. Conflict of interest and all that..."

"Does that mean you're not supposed to be with me now?"

"Kind of. I mean, I needed to contact you about… the other thing. But, I don't think I'm supposed to see you in a... personal capacity."

"Oh. So that's why you've been dodging me?" It was starting to makes sense. "And I'm making things a little harder on you right now 'cause I brought you to a date-type restaurant."

"Yeah," he sighed, looking one part relieved and one part frustrated.

"You know, it seems a little overkill for a personal profile piece for the sports section of a college paper," I ventured. He tensed and I was afraid I'd offended him. "But, if that's what you need to do…" I back-pedaled. "What about after the article goes to press?"

He stared at the table for a minute and then flicked his eyes up at me quickly. "We would be allowed to see each other... personally... after the article goes to press." His response was far from encouraging. Shit, I'm fucking this up. I bucked up my courage and plowed on. "Have you talked to your editor about this?"

"Noo... why?" His eyes narrowed at me, and I was sure he was going to take offense now if I didn't word this carefully.

"I just really want to spend time with you, Edward. I guess I'm looking for a loophole here that will let me do that. Maybe you can get some advice from your editor?"

"Kate? I don't know." He was quiet for a minute before speaking again. "I mean, I'd have to let her know that I… that we… that I lost my personal detachment from the subject of my assignment." I was getting nowhere fast on this line of conversation. I decided to cut my losses for now and circle back around to it later.

"Okay, what's the other thing?" Edward seemed relieved at the change in topic. I felt my own shoulders drop in relative relaxation as the tension between us eased. That's why it felt like a sucker punch to the gut when he opened his mouth to reply.

"I was wondering how you would feel about disclosing your homosexuality in the article?"

I didn't know what I had been expecting, but that definitely wasn't it.

"For what purpose? You know I don't think that has anything to do with whether I'm an athlete or not."

"I know that you don't, Emmett, but there are still plenty of people who do. I think you'd make a hell of role model for gay students who are afraid to join athletics teams for fear of discrimination and bullying. And, what about the closeted gay students who are already on teams and feel like they have to hide?"

Oh.

Oh.

I remembered that Royce fucker who terrorized Edward in high school for being gay. I remembered the shame in Edward's voice when he confided in me. The outline of pain on his features had been so clear, even in the dim light of the truck cabin as we drove back to Seattle in the dark.

Edward was silent, and I was grateful that he let me chew on my thoughts for a while.

I was out to my family, my friends and my coach. I even volunteered at the campus Q Center a few hours a month to offer support and advice for other gay students. I made no secret of my sexual orientation in general, but I didn't go loud and proud like some. I liked to say that it just wasn't my style. Honestly though, life could be hard enough sometimes, right? Sometimes it was just easier to… pass.

And that's the part right there where I made myself sick.

Still, the thought of going public in such a big way was scary, and not just because it would put me in the spotlight.

On the other hand, doing this would be a step -- a small step maybe, but a step nonetheless -- towards taking power away from guys like Royce. It was something that I could do. Me. It would be worth the risk, to out myself in the Daily for everybody to read, in order to make things a little easier for the others out there like me, and like Edward. I wanted to do something to take away some of that shame Edward carried.

I took a deep breath, held it for a moment and then exhaled slowly. Nodding more to myself than to him, I looked Edward in the eye. "I'll do it."

Our food arrived, and I filled Edward in on my volunteer work. I thought that would be a good way to introduce my sexuality into the article and Edward agreed. The Q Center offered mentoring services, housed a lending library of books relevant to gender issues and human sexuality, and hosted a variety of monthly LGBTQ meetings for men and women, people of color, trans-genders, there was even a group called the Outlaws for queer law students. An idea sparked inside me that grew in purpose and intensity.

"Edward, when is your deadline?"

"Kate wants it for the Sunday online version and the Monday print edition. So that means I need to have it in her hands by Saturday night at the latest."

"Perfect. That should leave me just enough time to arrange everything," I grinned at him. We'd finished eating, and both of us were leaning in with our forearms flat against the table. "You get the angle you want for the article, and I get to advertise the Q Center's first monthly meeting of the new queer athlete's alliance."

Edward's face bloomed with enthusiasm. The shine of excitement in his eyes almost knocked me back in my seat. My throat was dry. I took a sip of my ice water before laying it all on the line.

"Look, straight up, I want to be with you, Edward. I want to see where this goes. But I can see that you need some time to think, and you need to talk to Kate and figure out what you're going to do about the ethics situation. Your writing is important to you, and you take journalism seriously. I respect that." I reached over to him and laid my hand on his forearm, squeezing once. "Just… please talk to Kate and see what she has to say?"

He searched my face for a moment then nodded. I waited to see if he would say anything more while he stared at the dishes on the table. Instead, he changed the subject. "What are we going to do with all this food?"

I stared at him incredulously. "Leftover Thai is the breakfast of champions, man!" He snorted, trying to hide his smirk behind his water glass, and I continued as he took a sip, "How do you think I keep my girlish figure?" I leaned back in my chair and ran my hands down my torso for effect. Edward sputtered into his glass and laughed full out. I loved the sound of it.

"Jesus, Em, warn a guy before you do that!" He mopped stray water from his face.

"No way. That was too much fun," I grinned.

We settled our bill and packed up our remainders into white paper cartons. Edward asked our waitress to split the tab, and I didn't make a fuss about it. I understood that buying him dinner right now would just add to his current dilemma.

The ride back to the U District was quiet but comfortable. Edward turned on the radio but asked if he could plug in my music player when the station broke for ads.

"Silversun Pickups? Nice." A smile tugged at my lips. I knew Edward was picky about music, and I'll admit it felt good to know that he approved of my taste.

We were approaching his apartment and I didn't know when I would see him again. I wanted to grab his hand, pull it across the console, and suck on the pad of his thumb. Instead, I kept both hands on the wheel and pulled into the lot for his building.

"Call me, okay?" I was looking at the dash, but I knew my voice was giving me away as I said it. I wasn't just asking Edward to call me about the article, and I figured he knew it. Looking up, I found him watching me closely. I swallowed. "Talk to Kate and call me?"

"Yeah," he breathed. "I'll talk to her tomorrow." I reached over to squeeze his shoulder once quickly and then I let him go. We were both silent as he let himself out of my truck and turned towards the door to his building. I was painfully aware that he had agreed to talk to Kate tomorrow, but he hadn't actually promised to call me.


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A/N2: And now, I totally get why using chapters for teasers and A/N's is discouraged. Replacing my preview chapter with the real thing didn't send a new alert so none of you knew it was there! I've kind of fixed things but ch2 is still just the placeholder preview. Sorry about that folks! Sigh.