MARCH

Finn's POV:

I'm afraid to say this, afraid to write this and afraid to think this but...lately it feels like we're actually living again. We make love again and we talk again.
I finally opened up to her like I should have a long time ago and now that I don't have to carry these problems alone anymore, a weight has fallen off my shoulders.
It's like we're falling in love again, I text her more often and the cuddling has increased. Rachel calls me again to ask what I want for dinner or other things like that.
We went out for dinner last night and while it felt familiar it also felt special, like the start of something new, like we took a new start as a couple.

"People at work so easily forget what you're going through, don't they? At first they are all up in your face pretending that they give a shit about what you're going through and a few weeks later they don't even acknowledge you anymore at the coffee-machine. They just like...whisper behind your back 'hey, isn't that the guy who lost his daughter?'. People care for a while but because they don't actually understand what you're going through they expect you to just forget it and move on, you know?"

"They can't help it Finn, you can't really blame them...they just don't understand." My jaw tensed a little when Rachel said that and I think she saw it, because she quickly asked "Isn't there anyone at work you can actually talk to then? I mean, come on Finn, they can't all be like that, right?"

I looked at her, knowing that the answer would make her a little jealous, but I told her anyway.

"Well, actually...you're not going to believe this but Brittany has actually been pretty great to me through all of this."

She looked at me, a little startled. "Brittany? Pierce?"

"Yeah, that's the one."

"Oh. Is she still as pretty as she was in high school?"

"Not as beautiful as you."

At this, I saw Rachel smile and I knew she would be okay with it.

"Well, I'm happy for you that you have someone besides me to talk to. And I'm not saying the following out of jealousy but...I think that maybe you should try to talk to Noah again. He's been a great friend to you. To us."

"Yeah...I know. What about you? Is there anyone you can talk to?"

I had asked this because Kurt had called me a few hours before dinner to tell me Rachel had been turning down his offers to go out with him, Blaine and Mercedes.
He had almost begged me to talk to Rachel about it because just like me, he was starting to worry about her.
"She needs to start living again, and I mean really living, as in actually step outside the safe environment of her house and interact with people. So do you, by the way, big brother"
he had said,
and I knew he made a valid point.

"Well, Kurt, Blaine and Mercedes have asked me to go out with them a few times but..."

"You should go Rachel. It would be good for you. I want you to have fun with your friends, I want you to laugh again. I think going out with the three of them is exactly what you need right now."

I took her hand and looked at her "please, just go and try to have fun."

"I don't know..."

"Rachel, please. For me?"

She looked me in the eyes and nodded. "Okay."

I took her hand and smiled, "good".
Well, that had been relatively easy.

Rachel's POV:

I went out with Kurt, Blaine and Mercedes and...I enjoyed it. I had fun again, I laughed again.

"Finn, can you get the door please? Kurt's here and I'm not ready yet." I quickly put my dress on, applied some make-up and went downstairs where I saw Finn and Kurt hugging tightly.

I coughed and asked "do I look presentable?"

"You look perfect." They both replied at the same time.

Kurt laughed and looked at Finn, "My, your sense of fashion has definitely improved, I'm impressed. That dress looks gorgeous on her."

"Well, actually I just think I have a smoking hot wife, but yeah, that dress is beautiful too."

I chuckled and gave my husband a kiss on the lips. "Have fun with Noah tonight, okay."

"I will if you will."

"Oh, she will" Kurt smiled "we're going to have a blast."

"Oh and by the way, Finn, please, please give your mother a call. Apparently you won't take any of her calls so she keeps calling me to check on you. So just call her, okay. She's really worried, you know how she is."

After Kurt made Finn promise to give his mother a call, we stepped outside in the fresh air.

"So, where are you taking me?" I asked.

He gave me a mysterious smile right before we stepped in the car and said "you'll see."

"Where are Blaine and Mercedes?" I asked, noticing the empty backseat.

"They're already there, I dropped them off before I came to pick you up because I just wanted to spend some alone time with you for a few minutes."

"Oh. Why?"

"I have to tell you something."

"Okay, what is it?"

"Promise you won't get mad first" I nodded and he continued "I'm worried about you, we're all worried about you Rachel, because it seems like instead of letting go you're holding on to the pain and sadness you're feeling because you think it's all you have left. But it's not. Look, we're all going through this, of course it's not the same, but we all miss her. You have to try and focus on the good things, the time you did spend with her. You have to focus on the moments you had with her instead of thinking about the moments you're not going to have with her."

I stared outside the window as I let his words sink in. He was right, I knew that he was right.

"You're right" I muttered in reply "I know you're right, it's just easier said than done."

"I know, but that's where we come in. When it all gets too much, when you don't see the good things anymore, just pick up the phone and call me and Blaine, call Mercedes. We're here for you, okay."

"Okay...thanks."

"Don't worry about it."

After that we drove in silence for a few minutes until Kurt pulled up in a parking spot in front of a bar. "We're here."

I stepped out the car and looked around. Across the street I saw a mother walking hand-in-hand with her daughter. I stared at them until Kurt blocked them from my view. He had seen me staring at them though, because he asked "would you and Finn ever want another child?"

I looked at him in surprise "I don't know...do you think we should have another baby?"

"That's not my decision to make, I only know that you're great parents and any baby would be lucky to be your child. Just like Emma was" he smiled at me "come on, let's go inside, it's chilly."

I followed Kurt inside the bar and took a look around. There was a stage set up and someone was singing. "This place is a karaoke bar now?"

"Surprise!" Kurt said, as he lead me to the table where Blaine and Mercedes were waiting.

I hugged both of them and sat down. They didn't ask how I was doing and I appreciated that. I didn't want to lie to them but I didn't want to ruin the evening either.

"So, are you guys going to sing?"

"We are all going to sing, Rachel" Mercedes replied.

"What? No! I can't go up there..."

"Why not?" Kurt asked "We used to do this all the time. Come on, it's fun!"

"I don't know guys."

"Please just think about it" Blaine said as he stood up and took Kurt's hand.

"Come on honey, let's remind Rachel of how much fun this is."

Blaine and Kurt sang the most epic duet together they'd ever done and it left me smiling. I cheered loudly for them when the song was over. Then Blaine took the microphone and said "now, let's give it up for our amazing, talented friend, Rachel Berry!"

I looked at them, in shock.

"Just go, Rachel! Come on, you're amazing and you know it. Go!" I heard Mercedes say.

When I stood up from my chair, Kurt and Blaine applauded.

I walked over to the stage, took the microphone from Blaine and whispered "I can't believe you are doing this to me!"

He smiled and just said "you'll enjoy it, you'll see. Let the music heal you, Rachel."

Kurt and Blaine left the stage and went back to sit with Mercedes.

I looked at the crowd, gripped the microphone tighter in my hand, took a deep breath just went for it.

I decided to go with Barbra Streisand's 'Smile' because I'd always loved her and I'd always loved the song. And it was kinda fitting after what Kurt and Blaine had told me.

I sang my heart out and when the crowd applauded, I smiled.

I really enjoyed singing last night, those five minutes I was singing, I didn't think about anything else. I just enjoyed it.
But when I got off the stage, I felt bad. I felt bad for having fun, I felt bad for smiling over something so stupid.
I know thinking like that isn't smart, I know someday I have to move on. I just can't do it right now.
Even thinking about moving on makes me feel guilty, because Emma is stuck forever.

A/N: I would like to thank everyone who has reviewed and/or added this story to their favorites. I never expected that to happen, but I'm glad that there are people out their enjoying this story. Thank you so much! I'll try to update again tomorrow!