A/N: This chapter is very M. There are sexy times ahead but it's still not all smooth sailing. Please be forewarned. It's very intense and I need to make that clear~Meowser

Brooklyn 99 was still on, but Maddie was zoning out a little. Chimney's arm was around hers, steady and warming, his fingers making lazy circles on her arm.

Her head was on his shoulder and she'd stopped feeling like she needed to cry. She was comfortable again.

And she found her senses going on high alert. His arm was so heavy around her, but in a comforting way. The back of her head was pressed against his bicep and she could feel how taut it was right now. His fingers were barely grazing her skin, but she could feel goosebumps beginning to form, and she shivered.

"Are you cold?" He asked. "I can grab a blanket."

He was already starting to get up, but she placed a hand on his leg, stilling him. "It's okay," she said. "I'm not cold, that was…" She shrugged, unsure if she wanted to explain it yet.

He nodded, settling back down, but his arm slid down to be around her waist now, gently pulling her just a little closer.

God, she loved him. She loved how warm he was, and how focused he'd been on her comfort, every time. She leaned up and pressed a kiss to his cheek. "I love you," she whispered, and his lips spread into a smile. He turned his head and their lips met, soft and sweet.

"The feeling is mutual," he told her, using his other hand to brush hair from her face. Her eyes met his, and they just drank each other in for a moment. And then she was moving forward, shifting positions, climbing onto his lap to straddle him and cup his face in her heads.

Their lips met and Maddie moaned, immediately taken in by how good it felt. She really, really liked kissing him. That had been true for a while now, but it was even better when she was sitting on his lap, and could feel him grow rock hard beneath her.

She ground against him, and he made a sound that was almost like a whimper, driving his hips upward to meet her. Goddamn.

She really wanted this, suddenly. She really wanted this and she was going to have it.

"I want this," she said, pulling back to speak, her eyes blazing. She saw Chimney's eyes go wide, and his hands were on the back of her dress.

"I do too," he said.

"Take my dress off," she whispered. "Please."

His lips came up to meet hers again; their tongues tangled and she tasted the popcorn they'd just eaten. Well, neither of them had taken much. They had really just gone through the motions, trying to make this night normal.

This night wasn't normal, though. Thank god.

It finally wasn't normal.

His hands were on her zipper, and he was dragging it down, and his fingers were suddenly brushing against bare skin and Maddie gasped into his mouth. Chimney pulled away, breathing hard, examining her face, paying close attention. He slowly dragged his fingers back up her spine, and a smile twitched at his lips at her reaction, which was her closing her eyes, concentrating hard to not lose control.

His hands moved at a snail pace, slowly coming to meet the dress at her shoulders, edging it slowly down; every inch of skin that he uncovered coming alive under his fingers. He leaned forward and pressed a kiss to her neck, and slowly made a path to her ear, sucking at the skin behind it. Oh god. It was like her body was turning to liquid. She moaned again, and he kissed a path to her chest, pulled back again, and slowly started to pull the dress down farther.

His eyes met hers, keeping that connection until the dress pooled at her waist.

She slipped her hands from the sleeves, and arched forward, pushing herself against his erection. He groaned, and pulled her close, his hands around her waist, and they kissed again, long and hot.

His lips were making a path down, to the bra strap, kissing down and slowly pushing the fabric off of her shoulder, while his hand came up and got the other shoulder. She shivered again when his hand landed there, so warm, making her feel chilled in comparison.

"Maddie," he murmured, his lips reaching her breasts, and his hand coming around to the back of her bra. "Do you want me to take this off?"

His eyes rose to meet hers, and she inhaled at the look there.

"No," she said, and he nodded, his hand sliding away.

"Do you want to keep kissing?" He wondered, his voice assuring.

"I do," she said. "And the only reason I don't want you to take it off...is because I want to take it off myself."


Chimney was barely breathing, and he could only tell this night was going to get better. Sex had never meant this much, and honestly, waiting this long for it, not even knowing if it was going to happen, not truly caring if it happened, was making these moments so sweet, so precious.

It meant so much that she was trusting him right now. So fucking much. He honestly couldn't believe that Maddie Buckley was letting him do this, that Maddie Buckley even liked him like this, that Maddie Buckley, the most intriguing and beautiful woman he'd probably ever met, was sitting on his lap right now, and wanted him to have sex with her.

And he was holding back, he was taking it slow. He was going to make sure she was comfortable, every step of the way.

Even if it killed him.

She was reaching around behind herself to unsnap her bra, her breasts already popping. He couldn't breathe, and she was letting it fall, tossing it behind her, and sitting there waiting for him to react. He couldn't move, honestly. He breathed in a shaky breath, pulling her close, sliding his arms around her and kissing her lips, trying to make her more comfortable.

Her skin was so soft, and he moved his hands in circles on her back, relishing the feel of her beneath him. She was so sexy. Unbelievably sexy.

His hands moved of their own accord, almost, coming around to cup her breasts, and she gasped, stilling a little.

Chimney paused as well, slowly pulling away, letting his thumbs brush over her hardened nipples. Did she want this? Was she okay with this?

Her eyes were closed, and her breathing was getting more shallow. He wasn't sure what this was an indicator of.

"Mads, you okay?" He wondered, and she nodded.

"Touch me," she whispered. "I'm...I don't know...but touch me."

He wasn't sure about that answer, and it seemed like she was having a hard time, but he decided to follow her request, moving her closer, kissing her breasts, bringing one nipple into his mouth.

The next few minutes were a bit hazy. He found himself shifting her off of his lap, moving her onto the couch on her back, and moving so he was on top, bracing himself over her and kissing her lips, kissing until they were breathless again, and kissing a path back down to her breasts.

And she liked it. She was responding, and she slowly began to touch him back. They changed positions again, and she was peeling his shirt off, her fingers rushing down the buttons, shoving it off his shoulders, impatient.

She gave back as good as she'd gotten, and Chimney found that he was feeling very ready.

"Maddie," he whispered, and nodded, kissing him again before letting him speak. "Can I take you to bed?"

She nodded, and he moved in closer, kissing by her ear. "Can I take you to bed?" He repeated, and she moaned, pushing herself closer to him.

"Yes, Chimney," she replied, and he lifted her up, thanking god for the workouts with Buck he'd been forced into lately.

She wrapped her legs around his waist and he carried her into the bedroom, laying her back on the bed.

They had some more lazy moments, just exploring, and then her dress was gone, and she was there in just her panties.

He drank in the sight of her, lying there waiting for him, and he moved so he was over her, arms braced on either side of her head.

"How are we doing?" He wondered, his hand brushing her hair away from her face. She smiled up at him, and he moved his hand behind her head, cupping it to bring her up to kiss him.

"I'm good," she replied, after their kiss was over. "I'm ready."

"Not quite," he whispered, and shifted, moving one knee between her thighs, nudging her open a little.

Her eyes were wide, but she didn't say anything, and he sat up, bringing his hands down to her hips. He hooked his fingers under the lace of her panties, slowly dragging them down.

And then he undressed the rest of the way, not sure of how to do this, ignoring how self conscious he felt, knowing that Maddie probably felt the same way.

And then they were there, they were naked, they were completely bare to each other.

He kissed her. He had to take this slowly, and now it was for his sake as well. He felt nervous. He was terrified of fucking this up.

This was the first time she'd done anything in forever. He had to make it good, and at the same time, he was getting so close to getting carried away just looking at her.

So he just kissed her. They were long, lazy kisses. They both took their time. His hand handed on her waist and he brushed up to her breast, and down to her ass. And then to the front.

His hands slid between her legs, and he again paused, pulling away, meeting her gaze. "Can I touch you here?"

She was breathing hard, and her pupils were dilated, and she took a moment to say yes.

"Do you want me to?"

She hesitated again, and he pulled back, lying on his back, and bringing her on top of him. She lay her head on his chest, and they paused there for a minute, taking a moment to breathe.

"We can still stop here," he told her.

"I don't want to stop here, I just want to take it slow," she replied, after a long moment. "Really slow."

He nodded, and they slowed down even more, to just kisses. And she lay her head on his chest again, breathing hard.

He rubbed her shoulders, as she slowly began to move her hips, beginning to sit up.

"Oh my god, Maddie," he whispered.

"Do you have a condom?" She questioned, and he wordlessly got her one, barely breathing as she opened the packet, moaning when she slid down to sit on his legs to put it on.

Her hands there were torture. He didn't know if he'd make it.

"I want to be on top," she finally said, once she'd finished, as her hands fell away.

"You can be wherever you want," he managed, and she moved forward, lifting her hips.

He groaned when she sank onto him, in slow, painstaking measures. And then he was inside her, and she was so warm, so inviting. She was breathing hard, and her hands grabbed at his; she held his hands tight, almost too tight, and she was so nervous, and he wasn't sure if she was ready for this, and he wasn't sure if this was what she needed, but then she began to move on him, up and down.

He moaned again, and her eyes seemed to light up. He wondered if this felt good to her, he wondered if she was okay, but then she started to move more, picking up the pace a little, loosening her grip on his hands, bouncing up and down.

"Oh my god, Maddie," he hissed, and she leaned down to kiss him, continuing to move up and down.

"Thank you for doing it my way," she told him, kissing down to his chest, continuing her movements.

"I think I'm going to come," he whispered, and she only moved faster, pounding against him. He shattered into her, feeling his world stop for that moment. She fell against him, kissing him, and he kissed her back, only wanting to give back what she'd given him.

He switched their positions, so she was on her back, and slowly slid his fingers inside her.

And she was lighting up, moaning, gasping, jerking against him.

"God, I think I'm almost…" She was bucking against his hand, desperate for more. "Chimney, more, oh my god, just a little…"

She came, and he felt her come, and she was gasping, and he settled back, ready to relax, ready for sleep, to clean up.

Her chest was rising and falling, her breathing was growing more rapid.

She was crying.


This was a full on panic attack.

Maddie felt the tears begin to build right after she'd climaxed, right after she'd let go, lost control. Tears built and then exploded. She couldn't even breathe, and she jerked to sit up, knowing she was ruining any moment that had been about to happen.

She was scared, she realized distantly. She was fucking terrified and she had no reason to be. She knew she was safe here, but that wasn't translating to her miserable brain.

She wanted to stop crying, but her inability to do so only made her more miserable, and she literally couldn't handle any of her emotions right now. She was taking in gulping breaths, desperately trying to come back to earth, to normal, but normal was nowhere in sight.

She felt Chimney's hand on her arm, she distantly heard his voice say her name, but she couldn't respond.

The bed shifted. Oh god. He was going to leave. He couldn't handle this either, and he was going to leave her alone. He was being respectful.

She didn't fucking want him to leave, though.

Her body was shaking from how hard she was crying, and she slowly realized that a blanket was being draped around her shoulders, and then Chimney was embracing her, climbing back onto the bed, holding her tight.

"It's going to be okay, Maddie," he whispered. "Cry all you need. I'm right here. It's okay. You're okay. You're safe."

She began to feel like she could breathe again. She inhaled, and the tears weren't quite as choking. He kept holding her, being there, keeping her close.

He kept murmuring words, patting her back, kissed the top of her head. She was coming back to earth.

Back to Chimney.


A/N: I'm pretty satisfied with this chapter. I just hope it doesn't read too much like Chimney is somehow 'fixing' Maddie. If any changes go on, that's fully because of how resilient Maddie herself is. Chimney does play a part, obviously, and it's obviously a big one. But sex doesn't fix things, I guess is my point? It's going to help Maddie to heal to have positive sex experiences, but sex is not the be all, end all. Sex is complicated and messy and very stressful. But it can also be so, so good. Sidenote that panic attacks before/during/after sex are, unfortunately, a common occurrence. And they aren't okay because panic attacks suck BUT it doesn't make you less of a person, or a bad partner if you do have them.

Lowkey planning another chapter, but I'm not sure right now, because I could also just leave it here. Idk.

~Meowser