Long after that little episode, I sat there on the floor, contemplating whether I should call him. I didn't want to, but he would offer me any information I wanted just for hearing my voice. I didn't want to take advantage of that, nor did I want to give him the wrong impression of any lingering interest.

But I needed to know. I had to.

I slowly dialed the number, wondering how much I was going to regret it. It only rang twice and he picked up.

"Soubi, it's been awhile."

"...I need to ask you something," I said quietly.

He chuckled a little. "I expected as much. You only ever contact me when one of your delinquents is in trouble. So who is it this time?"

I exhaled quickly, my heart pounding. "Ritsu, I want to know about Illusion."

There was a long silence. Too long.

"Soubi, where did you hear that name?" Ritsu's voice sounded dangerous.

"Why does it matter where I heard it? I just want to know what they are. That's all I'm asking." I begged. I had never begged him, ever.

A loud exhale on the other end of the receiver caused a hopeful feeling in my chest. "I'll only tell you if I can see you in person. They aren't something to be discussed within these walls. I'd hoped they were gone for good, but it seems I was mistaken to leave that task to Nagisa. Will you meet with me, Soubi?"

I cringed as I spoke. "There's a cafe near here. I'll give you the address..."

Ritsu's style hadn't changed much since I'd left Seven Moons. I had to control myself as he held out a hand. I looked at him quizzically, only to have him pull me into a hug. His lips grazed my cheek and I felt tears stinging my eyes.

"You've let your hair grow," He commented. I nodded, consciously tucking it behind my ears.

"Could we please continue with what I asked you over the phone?" I asked.

Ritsu smiled at me, his eyes looking me over. "Of course, of course. I didn't forget our little deal." He sat down, gesturing me to do the same. "Illusion was a mistake. They were something beyond what we could control."

I smirked at how vague his statement was. "Care to elaborate?"

Ritsu smiled back, tilting his head in a flirtatious manner. "They can get inside your head and make you see things that aren't real. Their powers go beyond words and actions. They are truly psychic, Soubi. That power alone is dangerous."

"Is there no way to block those illusions?" I asked.

"No, unfortunately. That is why I told Nagisa to dispose of them. We stopped letting them interact with other students, especially the younger ones, and put them in confinement. At least we could deal with the images they put into our minds. Kana has a fetish for causing pain, and his twin has an insatiable desire for young boys. That combination of perversions alone should have made Nagisa afraid, but she insisted they could be controlled."

I sat back, feeling sick. "Are you aware they were holding a young Sentouki captive?" I asked.

Ritsu's eyes widened with what I perceived as fear. "Please tell me you haven't encountered them."

"I haven't, but I'm taking care of someone who has. I want to help him, but I don't know how to help."

"Soubi, chances are he is beyond repair. The things I was forced to see were...demented. They were always sexually based and included torture. Has this fighter disclosed anything useful?"

"Other than wanting to be dominated, no. He just sits there like he's waiting to be punished for the oddest things. I watched him eat and he stopped, I watched him sleep and he stayed awake." I explained.

Ritsu nodded. "Sounds like their handy work. Maybe you should ditch the kid, Soubi. If he's escaped from them, they'll find him. Mark my words, they'll want him back if he's this well trained to their liking. I'm worried, Soubi. None of my students are missing, and neither are any of Nagisa's." I tried not to let it show on my face, but he caught it as quick as it happened. "That look tells me all I need to know. Loveless has his fighter?"

"No, he doesn't know that this boy is his. I don't think he's ever going to be ready to deal with someone like Kia." I used the name Seimei had used. I didn't want to give away Tokia's real name just yet.

"Narukawa Tokia was unstable to begin with. Illusion didn't do him any favors." Ritsu interjected.

"E-excuse me?"

Ritsu glowered at me. "That boy was abused long before he was found. The most horrid things had been done to him, Soubi. I don't even want to tell you, but if it weren't a problem you wouldn't have called." I nodded, hoping he would continue. "The words I am about to tell you are not to be repeated. Not to anyone, not ever again will these words be uttered. Do you understand?"

"Yes, I understand." My voice shook. I was terrified of the knowledge Ritsu claimed to have.

Ritsu took a deep breath, leaning close. "We found him when we were in the process of trying to acquire your young lover. We hoped if we contained him that he could somehow draw Ritsuka in, but...the conditions we found him in changed our minds. Tokia was found naked, bound, and gagged. He'd been sodomized with several...objects. I suppose his captors were testing how far they could go before his virginity was diminished."

"You mean he still had his ears, even after that?"

Ritsu gave me dark look. "There are many things a couple can do that aren't technically sex. I believe as long as climax isn't met, theoretically you could sodomize someone with...items. He was quiet, though. We tried to get him to at least smile, but... Eventually he just disappeared."

I felt severe anger rise inside my heart. "And you never bothered to look for him?" I had to resist shouting at him. We were in a public place.

Ritsu looked hurt by my comment. "I had figured he committed suicide. It hadn't crossed anyone's mind that he'd been kidnapped. Illusion had been supposedly disposed of for almost an entire year when he went missing."

"Maybe next time you should see to it that when a unit is terminated, you kill them yourself."

I stood up to leave when Ritsu grabbed my hand. I was just short of slugging him when I realized he was handing me something secretly.

"Soubi, at least give me a goodbye hug?" Even though my mind screamed at me to run away, I turned and leaned down to embrace him. When I released him, Ritsu's lips gently pressed against mine. I awkwardly pushed him away, my heart breaking.

"I don't plan on seeing you ever again." I mumbled.

The entire walk home I couldn't stop the tears. Even after all these years, I could feel every vile movement and touch he'd left on my skin. I glanced down at what was in my hand. A small pill bottle filled with what appeared to be a sedative.

It had only been an hour since I'd left the house after the call and no one was home yet. I glanced in the bedroom, finding Tokia sitting up, wide-awake. His eyes went downcast as he noticed me.

Ritsu's words haunted me as I went to sit on the bed. "Sorry, I had to leave for a while. Soon Natsuo and Yoji will be home as well. I don't really know what they do all day, since they don't go to school like they should, but I'm sure it's contributing to the current rise in acts of delinquency."

Again the humor went unacknowledged.

I ruffled the kid's hair and got up.

"You know, don't you?" His tone was flat; his voice louder than I would have ever imagined possible.

I turned back around. "Know what?"

Tokia's face went dark, and his eyes narrowed. "You can't feel them, can you?"

"Feel what?" Panic settled in and I looked around nervously.

"They're close, Soubi. You're weaker than I thought if you couldn't even feel their presence when they're this close."

My heart started racing. "Tokia, I don't have time to play mind games. Who the fuck are you talking about?" It came out like a barked order, but I didn't care. He was scaring me.

"The ones you were talking about with Ritsu," Tokia shuddered. "My owners, my true owners. I-I can't disobey them, Soubi...I can hear their commands, but I can't ignore it forever, please just...That's why I wanted Seimei to kill me. They've found me in less than two days..."

"How do you know who I was talking to?" I asked, my voice getting tight. I must have spoken his name when I had called him.

"You've got to go to Ritsuka before they get the chance to use him against you, Soubi. They don't play fair. Kana won't hesitate to have his brother rape such an innocent boy in front of you in the middle of a crowded street. You don't understand what they're capable of," Tokia sobbed, wiping his eyes. "None of you understand."

I kneeled on the floor in front of him, holding his hands in mine. "Tokia, how did Seimei save you from them? He must have thought Ritsuka and I could protect you since he brought you here."

Tokia held his breath, while a terrifying thought ran through my mind. Was Seimei a part of this little gang after all? Had he been the one to...No...Not Seimei.

After he stopped talking, we sat in complete silence. He was still in my lap and I was getting frustrated with myself over the fact he was awakening shameful thoughts on my part.

"Tokia, maybe you should go lie down for awhile until Natsuo and Yoji get back?" I asked, hoping he'd take the hint.

Tokia looked up at me, a desperate look in his beautiful eyes. "Soubi, you don't have to deny yourself. I'm not innocent like Ritsuka. I know when one is fighting the urge and holding back."

I blushed, embarrassed, but didn't respond.

Tokia, however, took the initiative and pushed his hand against my sex. "I don't know how to make things better, Soubi. This is the only thing I've ever known, and I can't help myself."

I tried to stop him from kissing me, but his strength and my hesitance allowed otherwise. I was shocked he was being so forward. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea, giving him those pills. Tokia seemed lucid and sane, but at the same time he seemed more reckless and less inhibited.

His body pressed against mine and I seemed to lose control of the situation and myself. It seemed like forever, laying on the floor with Tokia lying on me. I tried to push him away, I know I did, but he wouldn't budge and soon I found myself resisting the urge to pin him down to have my way with him in front of the door.

"Tokia," I breathed past what he was doing to me with his hands. "Tokia we have to stop this or..."

"Or what? Those immature children don't understand passion, Soubi. They only know what they can find on the Internet or in books..."

Tokia's lips pursed when I grabbed his face firmly. "This isn't some whorehouse where I'm going to let you fuck me, understand?"

His expression got arrogant. "You think you're so righteous. You don't know anything."

Tokia stood up suddenly, fixing his clothes, and walked as if he were going back into the bedroom. I sat there on the floor, wondering what the hell I should do about the actions and words that were just spoken and done to me.

I got up to follow him, but stopped myself when I realized where he was. He stood in the kitchen, a medium-sized kitchen knife in his hand. He glowered at me, dragging it along the inside of his left arm. I rushed him, making him panic and he dropped the blade. I slapped him hard across his face.

"What the hell are you doing?" I screamed.

Tokia's eyes shifted from anger to pain. "I don't know! I just don't know..." He sank to the floor, crying again. "I was bad! I need to punish myself. You don't get it; you just don't understand what I need to do..."

"Tokia, why would you do this to yourself?" I asked in a gentler tone.

He looked away from me, shame covering his entire expression. "It's what I have to do when I am overindulged."

"I don't understand." My tone was pleading.

Tokia still didn't look at me. "I was cut for a reason, Soubi. They don't care about what I want, my needs. I gave in to my own desires, which went against your orders. I need to punish myself."

The phrase "I was cut for a reason" stuck out in my mind.

"You mean...what they did to you was because of...?"

"I was satisfied before Kana. It isn't allowed, but it happened anyway. Katsuya got angry a-and . . . Soubi...I'm sorry, I can't stop myself. Everyone I see is just another individual to gratify...I'll never be okay like this. Even with those goddamned pills I'm still falling back into old habits."

"Tokia, I..." I couldn't finish my sentence. Part of me wanted to give in to this boy, to let him do as he thought he needed to do, but another part of me screamed to help break him of the habit. "Sex is something that has meaning to me. I'll only have sex with the people I love."

His eyes rose to meet mine. "Then you don't love me?"

"I don't think it's that kind of love, Tokia. I only love my master, as you should. I am not your master. Ritsuka is the one who commands us; Ritsuka is the one I'll make love to." The words had finally been spoken. My secret desire was known now to the one person who was the only one deserving of Ritsuka's innocence. I had just happened to be left to him. Tokia was the real fighter for the Loveless unit, not I.

Tokia's eyes widened at my words, as if he were amazed. I cursed and turned around, hoping this was just another bad dream.

"Wait!" He yelled. "You can't just walk away after a comment like that!"

I stopped, fighting my own tears as I turned to look at him. "I have to, Tokia. I don't have the right to carry those feelings. I was left to serve Ritsuka, and that is all I intend to do."

"NO!" Tokia screamed, and I felt suddenly terrified of him. His eyes grew dark as he came towards me. "Those feelings are what keep you alive, dammit!" He yelled it, and I mean, really, really yelled it at me like I was being scolded. "You are Beloved for a reason, Soubi. Your feelings, whether they be for Ritsuka or not, are vital; you need love to live. Ritsuka and I...We may have feelings, but it's not the same type of love. It's so much more complicated, and you shouldn't worry about the consequences!"

"Tokia you don't understand what you're saying. You want me to have your Sacrifice? I don't understand what I'm still doing here..." I just sank against the wall.

Tokia kneeled in front of me, brushing my hair away from my eyes. "I'm not saying I want to give up Ritsuka. If he is indeed the master to both of us, then we must connect with each other. He has to be introduced to the role of dominance whether he likes it or not."

His words had a hidden meaning, actions I didn't want to know about. "You're suggesting I bring Ritsuka here, aren't you? To have him in...my bed. Is it even possible for one to master two fighters?"

"I wouldn't suggest it if it hadn't been done to me already, Soubi. Kana and Katsuya fought admirably with me against Seimei, but in the end I lost on purpose because I knew he'd take me away..." Tokia looked pained, but he smiled a little. "Seimei was the light in my dark forest. I could see right into his head the moment he challenged them, using aesthetic words that I had no defense against. In a way, I had hoped he would kill me with his words." I couldn't help but cry. Tokia looked intensely nostalgic as he spoke. There was definite love in his words, even if his very name was Loveless.