Well today (May 1st) is my birthday, and it's already going down hill. These are some if my thoughts, put in Sam's diary as her thoughts. Some things have been changed to fit the entry. The self esteem entry will be entry number 5. Please enjoy my depressing thoughts on and about my birthday.
Dear Diary,
Well, it's my birthday. I hate birthdays. Why? Because nothing ever goes my way. Sure, me saying that makes me sound like a spoiled brat, but right now, I don't fucking care! Every birthday I've ever had, everyone keeps trying to bring me down. Like, really, what the hell did I do? I've never done anything to anyone, and I'm treated like garbage on my god damn birthday.
I'm not normally one to feel much pain from name calling or anything, but to actually do those things on my fucking birthday? On the day I was brought into this accursed world? Why? What did I do? When I'm over at someone's home, I'm nice and polite, but they still don't seem to like me, and call me a cow faced bitch! Why am I treated this way? Do they think I'm acting just to get something? I'm not like that!
It's just... What the fuck did I do?! Why does this seem to happen more on my birthday? I wish I knew why these things happen to me. What the hell did I do?! Great, now I'm crying on this stupid book. This is by far the worst birthday ever. I mean, my uncle came into town with my aunt and cousins. And what happens? My cousins start saying all this... this SHIT to make me feel bad about ever being born. They always tell me what to do, when to do, and how it needs to be done. I feel like a nuisance, a burden, like I'm useless, like no one wants me. Aren't you supposed to feel special on your birthday?
I can't handle this anymore! I hate feeling like this! When I talked to my mother this morning, all I got was a 'happy birthday' then left alone until my aunt and uncle arrived. What the hell did I do? Why is my life like this? J just want ONE birthday to be fun! Is that really too much to ask? Just ONE birthday without being treated like shit? Even Danny ignores me until a ghost attack! I've had it! I can't deal with this anymore! I'm done!
A/N: So, this is how most of my thoughts are on May 1st 2013. My twentieth birthday.
