After he destroys her, she drives home (alone) to her (empty) apartment and makes (herself) dinner and tries to pretend that she's not really that bothered and it didn't mean anything anyway. She sits (by herself) on her couch and watches (by herself) some reruns and gnaws on her bottom lip, considering.
She considers all the reasons he might've declined coffee and all the reasons he may've seemed standoffish and she considers what exactly "kind of seeing someone" means before deciding that it doesn't really matter anyway. She considers instead that perhaps things are just a little weird because it's been a while since they've seen each other and clearly things had been a bit awkward before he had (suddenly) left but they were always such good friends and surely these things have a way of working themselves out. She considers that maybe he's just a little hurt that she never called him all that time, though she wanted to and tried to and was just too pathetic to, she considers that maybe he just doesn't know where they stand since she could not have been more vague and confusing if she had actually tried, she considers that maybe she was actually cruel and cold and selfish and she considers that maybe he hates her. Maybe he should.
She goes to bed.
She gets up the next morning and showers and dresses and prepares herself for the day ahead. She carefully and calmly applies her make up but when her hand slips and her eyeliner smears, the thought I ruin everything flits across her mind and she surprises herself by bursting into tears. She tries to reign it in for a moment but once she realizes that her make up is ruined she gives up and just cries while shaking her head and thinking about what a mess she is for no real reason. Once she stops she washes her face and leaves the bathroom without bothering to reapply anything.
Instead, she leaves her (empty) apartment and drives (alone) to work and sits at her desk and waits for the day to be over. When he walks in, she half smiles and he half smiles and she thinks, this is what regret looks like. And she sends some faxes and answers the phone and she just had no idea how much it could hurt to be alone.
