"I'm Captain Kathryn Janeway, of the Federation Starship Voyager," Janeway began.
"Irrelevant!" the Dalek barked. "You are an inferior life form, you must be exterminated!"
"Reasoning with them is impossible, Captain," Seven of Nine said. "They are extremely hostile."
"I agree," the Doctor said. "They are cold blooded, and totally ruthless. The best thing you can do is run now, while you can."
"Incorrect," the Dalek said. "The best thing you can do is die."
With that, the communication ended, and the Doctor quickly went to work at his console – but far too late, as the ship juddered. The Doctor swore and took out a small, pen-like device.
"Shields down to – twenty five percent, Captain," Tuvok reported, his voice almost strained with what was obviously hidden surprise. "They are preparing to fire again."
"Return fire!" Janeway yelled.
"Unable to comply, Captain," Tuvok said. "Weapons are down."
"Helm control is offline," Paris reported.
"Captain," Kim said from his station, "several dozen small vehicles are disengaging from the Dalek vessel, and… they're heading for Voyager!"
"Of course," the Doctor said, snarling, as he went too work frantically with the pen-device.
"What are you doing Doctor?" Martha asked.
"I'd quite like to know that as well," Janeway snapped.
"He's attempting to access deflector control," Kim said. "He's… I don't believe this, he's accessing – another dimension?!"
The view screen, which had been filled with the sight of the Dalek ship, suddenly came to nothing. Literally nothing. Then, slowly, a light shone, and then, impossibly, stars came into being. They twinkled – but there was something off. It took them a moment to realize it, but there was something wrong with this space.
"It's in negative," Tom Paris said. "Space is white!"
"Fascinating," Tuvok said.
"Well that worked better than I expected," the Doctor said, smiling. "I think."
--
"What the hell did you do?!" Janeway yelled. "Where are we?!"
"Null space," the Doctor said, smiling.
"Repeat that," Seven of Nine said.
"I said, Null Space," the Doctor repeated. "Sub dimension. Hides us from the Daleks."
"Just who the hell do you think you are?!" Janeway yelled at him. "How dare you do this on my ship without my consent?!"
"I'm the Doctor," the Doctor pointed out. "'Consent' doesn't factor in."
"You're an arrogant son of a bitch, I'll give you that," Janeway said.
The Doctor looked at her for a moment in shock, then inexplicably grinned at her, manically.
"You know," he said, "that is exactly what Jim said."
"Jim," Janeway repeated. "Jim who?"
"Kirk," the Doctor smiled. "James Kirk."
Janeway blanked him for a moment. Martha walked over to the Doctor.
"You mind telling me what's up with her?" she asked in a hush, so the Starfleet crew couldn't hear her.
"Kirk was a celebrity, a historical legend," the Doctor said in the same hushed tone. "Like telling you I met Nelson. And I did," he added, smiling.
"You can't have met Kirk," Janeway said. "That is totally impossible."
"Not really," the Doctor said. "It was a while ago, mind…"
--
86 years ago.
"Spock, tell me what the hell is going on!" Kirk yelled, as the bridge rocked again.
"If you would just listen to me," the man known as the Doctor said, sighing, his scarf trailing behind him, "this would not be a problem."
"Shut up!" Kirk snapped. "What are those things?"
"Unknown, Captain," Spock said, at the same time the Doctor yelled "Carthantian Warship!"
Kirk turned to him, bemused.
"How do you know what they are?" he asked.
"Well," the Doctor said, smiling. "I'm clever."
"What is a Carthantian warship?" Spock asked.
"Well," the Doctor said, whipping out his sonic screwdriver, "I'm very glad you asked me that question…"
--
Now.
"That is totally impossible," Janeway repeated. "You'd be... what, 90? 100?"
"903, actually," the Doctor smiled. "Give or take a century or six."
"Fascinating," Tuvok said.
"Yeah well," Tom Paris said from the CONN, "it doesn't tell us what to do about the pepper pots."
The Doctor turned to stare at him, and the rest of the crew looked perplexed. Tuvok raised an eyebrow.
"The Daleks," Tom added. "The shape, it's a bit…"
"They are the most deadly creatures in existence," the Doctor said. "Trust me; you do not want to insult them."
"Then
what do we wanna do?" Ensign Kim asked. The Doctor smiled at him.
"You listen to every word I say from now until I stop talking,"
the Doctor said, perfectly sincere.
