The break-up
Requested by Molly, what if John Paul had broken up with Ste instead of telling him about his ordeal? And what if Ste had dated someone else, causing John Paul to feel jealous and regretful?
John Paul was appalled by Ste's insensitive request for taking their relationship to the next level. If you could even call what they had a 'relationship': less than twenty-four hours after revealing their feelings for each other they had already had several disagreements, and John Paul was physically and mentally exhausted by the whole thing. Ste, however, was puzzled by John Paul's seemingly over-the-top reaction, not realising that his joke 'I'll show you who the real man is' had deeper implications for him. There was a long pause as neither of the men said a word. Ste stared in confusion at John Paul, who was avoiding his gaze.
"What's wrong?" Ste eventually asked.
John Paul shook his head, "nothing" he responded unconvincingly.
"It's not 'nothing'" Ste pointed out, "Why did you freak out?"
"Because…" John Paul began, desperately trying to come up with an excuse that didn't involve the truth, "I'm not interested"
John Paul realised that he had said the wrong thing as he noticed Ste's expression change from confused to grave, "You're not interested" he repeated, "in me?"
John Paul wanted to deny it, to reassure him that his feelings were still the same, but he couldn't bring himself to do it otherwise he would have to explain the real reason; something he definitely wasn't ready to do. Instead, he nodded slowly, confirming Ste's fears.
There was another long silence, "Well, thanks for clearing that up I guess" Ste eventually responded, bitterly.
"No, Ste, I didn't mean-"
"Don't bother trying to explain" Ste retorted irately, "I don't want to hear it"
Ste headed for the door furiously, but then spun round to face John Paul again, "So were you lying when you said that you loved me?"
John Paul shrugged, "I don't know" he admitted dejectedly, "I don't know how I feel or what I want"
Ste snorted, "Yeah, that's obvious. Just don't bother coming to me when you figure it out. I really don't care anymore"
Ste marched to the door of the boarding house and held it open. John Paul reluctantly crept towards the door, glancing at Ste's blank face before he exited. Ste slammed the door heavily and thumped it with his arm in anguish.
xxx
The following evening Ste decided to stop sulking in his room, thinking about John Paul. That's how he ended up at a club just outside of Hollyoaks, but still thinking about John Paul. Ste was utterly perplexed: after everything they had gone through just to be together, he thought that they could finally be happy, but John Paul had apparently been lying to him the entire time. Ste hated the fact that the young man still invaded his thoughts, especially has he claimed that he didn't care – he obviously did. He was brought out of his trance by a masculine, Irish voice.
"Hey, what can I get you?"
Ste glanced at the man and almost reeled in shock. This guy was the spitting image of his ex-boyfriend, Brendan Brady – subtract a few years and a couple of inches and it could be the same person: tall, dark and handsome with an unusual moustache. But Ste knew that it couldn't possibly be Brendan, he had been sent to prison nearly a year and a half ago, and wasn't due out any time soon. The man didn't miss Ste's shocked expression and asked, "Is everything ok?"
Ste swallowed and nodded, "Yeah. It's just been a long night, that's all"
"Tell me about it, I've been working all day" he studied Ste for a moment, "What's wrong?"
"Why do you think something's wrong?"
"You had that look on your face, what happened?"
Ste sighed, "It's complicated"
"A bad break-up then?" he enquired.
Ste looked surprised, so the guy explained, "I've worked in the business long enough to know that 'it's complicated' is usually code for 'break-up'"
Ste nodded grudgingly and the barman smiled gently, "Want to talk about it?"
"I thought you were a barman, not a counsellor"
"Pretty much the same thing really" he joked
"Why are you so interested?"
"Because I have no life" he shrugged, "Plus, I don't like to see my punters unhappy. And also because I like gossip"
Ste sniggered before responding helplessly, "I wouldn't even know where to start"
The barman gestured around him, "How about with a drink?" he suggested, winking at Ste and causing him to laugh.
xxx
When the barman returned from serving another customer, he stood in front of Ste and noticed that he was wearing the same expression as he had been earlier.
"Ok, tell uncle Sam what happened"
Ste looked confused, "'Uncle Sam'?"
The barman shrugged, "I thought it had a nice ring to it" he extended his hand, "I'm Sammy, by the way"
Ste shook his hand, "I'm Ste"
"So, what happened with this bure?"
Through his interactions with Cheryl and Brendan, Ste understood some Irish terms and knew that 'bure' meant 'woman', but realised that Sammy had made a mistake in his assumption.
"It's a bloke actually" he corrected, "He kept giving me mixed signals. You know, in the space of one day telling me that he loved me, then turning around and telling me that he's not interested"
"Oh, that must suck" Sammy replied sympathetically, then shrugged, "But aren't relationships all about mixed signals? I mean, I feel sorry for straight couples. Apparently men and women, like, speak different languages, so imagine how many mixed signals they must give each other"
Ste sniggered, "Yeah, good point. Though it's still managed to happen to me"
Sammy nodded sombrely and pointed to Ste's empty glass.
"Another one?"
Ste glanced at his watch reluctantly and noticed how late it was, "Actually, I should probably head off"
"Will I see you again?"
Ste shrugged and grinned cheekily, "If you play your cards right"
Sammy chuckled, "I meant that I haven't seen you around here before, and I wouldn't forget a face like yours. I'm guessing you don't live around here"
"Well I live in Hollyoaks"
"Oh yeah, that's quite close. Any good bars around there?"
"A couple, yeah" Ste responded, "Maybe we could get some drinks there sometime, if you're up for it"
Sammy nodded, "Sounds good" he responded, before grabbing a pen and jotting his number down on a napkin.
"Just give me a call or text and we can figure it out" he suggested, handing the napkin to Ste.
Ste took the napkin and read the number, "Ok, I'll be in touch"
Sammy smirked, "looking forward to it"
Ste gave a quick smile and wave before hopping off his stool and departing. He couldn't help but feel excited about the prospect of going on a date with a guy who was smart, funny, sensitive and attractive (even if he did bear a slightly disturbing resemblance to his ex-boyfriend). He wasn't doing it to make John Paul jealous, Ste tried to convince himself as he slipped the napkin into his pocket.
xxx
John Paul exhaled heavily as he pushed his third bottle away from himself. He turned around and began to leave when he spotted a familiar figure sitting at the other end of the bar. John Paul could have sworn that his heart stopped momentarily as he recognised the man. He looked exactly like Brendan Brady; but it couldn't be, could it? He was locked up in prison for the foreseeable future so it couldn't possibly be him. John Paul gradually approached the moustached man who suddenly glanced at him, sensing that someone was staring at him.
"Uh, hi" Sammy greeted uncertainly.
John Paul jumped slightly, having been caught out "Sorry" he apologised sheepishly
"No, it's ok" Sammy reassured him, "it's just that you're the second person who's looked at me like that this week"
"Yeah, you just look familiar"
"Oh, right" Sammy responded proudly, then his face dropped, "Wait, is that a good or bad thing? Because I've always had slight reservations about the 'tache, people sometimes tell me that I look like a 70s porn star"
Before John Paul could explain, Ste raced up the stairs towards Sammy.
"Sorry I'm late!" he exclaimed breathlessly. He noticed John Paul staring at him, completely bewildered. Sammy glanced between them, noticing that they were wearing the same shocked facial expressions.
"Ok, what's with that look?" he asked, "Is that just the typical look that people have around here?"
John Paul ignored Sammy and rolled his eyes at Ste, "Of course it'd be you"
"What do you mean?" Ste asked indignantly
"On a date with 'I-can't-believe-it's-not-Brendan'!" John Paul exclaimed, pointing at Sammy, who looked puzzled.
"Who?"
Ste shifted uncomfortably, "Brendan's my ex, you look a lot like him"
"That's why you're on a date with him then, is it? Did you scour the whole of Chester trying to find Brendan's doppelganger or something?" John Paul ranted. He knew he sounded unreasonable, but he was drunk and upset about the break-up. It also didn't help matters that Ste had moved on quickly with a guy who looked exactly like his abusive ex-boyfriend. You could hardly blame John Paul for being angry and jealous.
"Of course not!" Ste argued, "He was just working at a club-"
"Oh great" John Paul interrupted, "Just when I thought he couldn't be any more like Brendan, he has to work at a club as well!"
Sammy quickly grew annoyed with the men bickering and stood up, stepping between them and holding his arms out to stop them.
"Guys, just shut up!" he snapped.
Immediately Ste and John Paul's faces dropped and they both looked to the ground in shame.
Sammy cleared his throat, "Well, this has been…" he started, glancing between the men, "…yeah" he finished awkwardly.
Ste gazed at him pleadingly and Sammy lowered his voice.
"He's the 'it's complicated' guy, isn't he?"
Ste nodded. Sammy looked round at John Paul - who was watching them suspiciously - before turning back to Ste, "Simplify it"
"How?"
"Talk things through, that's all you can do"
"But what about our date?"
"To be honest Ste" Sammy began, and Ste was slightly surprised to not hear 'Steven' instead, "I was just looking forward to having a drink that wasn't prepared by me. Besides, I knew nothing would happen between us the moment you said 'it's complicated'"
Ste looked disappointed and Sammy smiled at him sympathetically, "Adh mor ort " he murmured and Ste smiled gratefully at Sammy's offer of 'good luck'. Sammy gave a quick wave before scurrying down the stairs of The Loft and there was a lingering pause as Ste glared at John Paul, who seemed to have sobered up. John Paul glanced at him nervously before quietly excusing himself. Ste sat down at the bar, reflecting on the chaos that had just transpired.
xxx
John Paul held back a smile as he opened the door to Ste, who looked annoyed.
"Hey" John Paul greeted cautiously, "Sorry about ruining your date with Brendan's twin"
Ste wasn't in the mood for jokes, especially not after what John Paul had done.
"Why did you do that, ruining my date with Sammy?"
John Paul shrugged heavily, "I was just drunk and upset. I didn't mean to kick off, and I really am sorry" he apologised sincerely
"And you think I wasn't upset?" Ste argued
"Well you moved on pretty quickly!" he retorted, "Or should I say, moved backwards?"
"What choice did I have? You didn't want me and he did"
"It's not that I didn't want you" John Paul tried to explain.
"Then what? What is going on in your head?" Ste asked earnestly, "You're giving me mixed signals all the time, so just tell me what you want because I can't second-guess you"
"You" John Paul replied shortly, still staring at his shoes
"What?"
John Paul gazed up at him, "Ste, I haven't stopped thinking about you since I stupidly destroyed what we had. Heck, I don't think I've stopped thinking about you since our first kiss"
Ste stared at him in astonishment, "Then why did you push me away?"
John Paul turned away from him and shook his head.
"John Paul, you can tell me"
Slowly, John Paul turned to face him, "I can't get close to anyone, not even you"
"Why not?"
John Paul took a deep breath, "I was attacked, one night after work"
"Attacked in what way? Like a gay-bashing or something?"
John Paul shook his head and fixed his eyes on a spot just behind Ste's head so that he wouldn't have to look him in the eyes, "Sexually" he breathed
Ste's expression changed from puzzled to horrified in an instant. He took a couple of steps backwards in shock.
"Are you saying what I think you're saying?"
"I wish I wasn't" John Paul whispered
"You were…" Ste could hardly bring himself to complete the question, "raped?"
John Paul nodded and Ste groaned before putting his head in his hands.
"And I tried it on with you when you've been through all of that" he realised
"You didn't know"
"Well why didn't you tell me instead of making me think that you changed your mind about us?" he asked softly, trying to refrain from getting angry or exasperated considering John Paul's revelation.
John Paul took a few steps towards him, "Because I thought that anything would be better than admitting the truth" he replied, "But now I know that nothing is worth losing you over"
Ste sighed heavily before wrapping his arms around John Paul and hugging him tightly.
"I love you so much" Ste whispered into his shoulder.
John Paul pulled back slightly and stroked his cheek, "I love you too" he responded before kissing him tenderly.
Thanks for reading! And thanks to Molly for the prompt: this was so much fun to write, and I just hope that this is somewhat close to what you were expecting. I had trouble thinking of who Ste's 'love interest' would be, but then I remembered that the show was going to introduce Sammy (the Brendan look-a-like) for an episode back in August but never did, so I couldn't resist using it here! I also used some dialogue from the 15th July episode, just so it would have a smoother link. Anyway, if anyone has any ideas for a one-shot (for either stories), just let me know. In the meantime, reviews are always welcome!
