A/N: hi again...just thought you'd like to know for those who asked me about it that my computer is messed…...whenever I try to put an action between stars, it doesn't work, so I'm going to try to put them in these/\...ok? Ok!

Disclaimer: if I owned Harry Potter, do you think that I'd be wallowing in self pity about why I don't own Harry Potter? No, I think not.

Characters: James Potter, Sirius Black, Lily Evans, Severus Snape, Draco Malfoy, Fleur Delacour, Albus Dumbledore, Ron Weasley, and Hermione Granger.

let the story begin!

Today, our story begins with Albus Dumbledore, who is on his Mac®, surfing Google®, Ask®, and iTunes® in pursuit of a podcast on quilting patterns. He comes across the path of a chat room of his interest, and decides to enter it.

-Albus Dumbledore has signed in as KnitTheDore.

KnitTheDore: hello?

SillyLily: hi Professor.

SeriouslySirius: 'sup big Al?

Name'sJames: hey P.D.

KnitTheDore: Hello Miss Evans, Mr. Black and Mr. Potter. How are you on this lovely evening?

SeriouslySirius: same old, same old.

Name'sJames: speaking of old...

KnitTheDore: don't push your luck, Mr. Potter.

Name'sJames: shutting up...

SillyLily: that's the best idea you've had all day! And we've been working on a History of Magic report for 13 HOURS!

SeriouslySirius: speaking of history...

KnitTheDore: Mr. Black! Shut up!

SillyLily: He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot, but don't let him fool you. He really is an idiot.

-Severus Snape has signed in as Notions4Potions

Name'sJames: what brings you here, Snivellus?

Notions4Potions: not you. I was in pursuit of Lily. I hadn't found her in the library, and she's normally there at 5:26 pm on until 8:34 pm. every Wednesday, Thursday and normally Saturdays if she's not in Hogsmeade.

SeriouslySirius: wow...we've a stalker who's as slick as the grease on his hair.

Notions4Potions: this coming from a dog?

SillyLily: and might I add a dog that has a stench strong enough to make You-Know-Who himself vomit?

-Ron Weasley has signed in as Queasley.

Name'sJames: Lils, I don't think Sirius smells THAT bad. I mean, once you share a dorm with him, you kind of get used to it. Besides, it's Big Al that smells funny.

Queasley: who's Big Al?

KnitTheDore: it is I, Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore. Mr. Black just finds it rather humorous to call me Big Al. And I do not smell STRANGE!

Queasley: umm...now that Sirius brings it up, you kind of do smell funny. Not that it's your fault. You're 150 years old. At least you smell better than my Aunt Muriel.

SillyLily: you guys are RUDE! I mean...he doesn't really smell THAT bad. Give him credit. At least he smells better than Nearly Headless Nick's Death day party.

-Hermione Granger has signed in as ElvesNeedHats

KnitTheDore: Miss Granger! Of course! How silly of me to look you over!

ElvesNeedHats: Ok, I'll bite.

Queasley: ….you'll bite?

Name'sJames: What exactly will you bite?

SeriouslySirius: And how exactly does it taste?

Notions4Potions: Never have I been in the presence of such inappropriate people.

SillyLily: I feel you, Sev. I would leave, but sadly I have nothing better to do. And it is quite funny to watch Potter and Black make fools of themselves.

KnitTheDore: Yes, I relatively agree with Miss Evans. Mrs. Black and Potter, brains aren't everything. In fact, in your case, they are nothing.

Queasley: Nice one, sir.

Name'sJames: What do you MEAN "Mrs. Black and Potter"?!?!

SeriouslySirius: Do we look gay to you?!?! Anyways, we were talking about a pogo stick. But do we look gay to you, seriously?!?!

ElvesNeedHats: Do you really want him to answer that?

KnitTheDore: I apologize. It was a typo. But yes, you doo look somewhat homosexual.

-Fleur Delacour has signed in as BlondeAttraction.

Queasley: /stutter\ hi Fleur…

BlondeAttraction: 'ello Ronald.

ElvesNeedHats: oh, honestly Fleur. You even type with an accent!

KnitTheDore: I actually believe that Miss Delacour is being rather wise. It would seem somewhat random is she typed like any other Brit. Don't you agree?

BlondeAttraction: oui, merci Monsieur Dumbledore. 'Ow are you, Ronald? And more importantly, 'ow is Bill?

SillyLily: is this Blondie French?

SeriouslySirius: I bet she's Spanish.

Notions4Potions: she's OBVIOUSLY French, idiots.

Name'sJames: NO! Spanish people ignore H's too!

BlondeAttraction: I'm French. Do you 'appen to know any Spanish person 'oo says "oui" and "merci" and "monsieur"?

-Draco Malfoy has signed in as BlondeAndGorgeous.

Queasley: oh, hey look! A real live gay person!

ElvesNeedHats: Malfoy. Have you ever considered turning away from a mirror?

KnitTheDore: well, give him credit. At least he cares about his appearance.

Name'sJames: so what you're saying is that basically me and Padfoot don't?

SillyLily: no. That would be a lie bigger than me saying that my hair is not red.

BlondeAttraction: euuuwww! You 'ave red 'air? 'Ow disgusting!

Notions4Potions: it is not NEARLY as disgusting as blondes!

KnitTheDore: I beg to differ, Severus. Nothing is more disgusting than your hair.

Queasley: well...There was the time that Hermione asked me to borrow my brush and she had to use 'Reparo' like…948873908238 times. This woman's hair is B-U-S-H-Y!

ElvesNeedHats: Ron!!!! That was a S-E-C-R-E-T! Anyways, at least I don't have ginger hair. Like the rest of my family. \cough cough/

BlondeAndGorgeous: anyways, everyone knows that blondes rule. Our hair is so…shiny…so sexy….so gorgeous…

KnitTheDore: well, silver hair is equally as valuable. Nobody in here has silver hair.

SeriouslySirius: well, nobody in here is over 18.

Name'sJames: and nobody's hair is lower than their butts.

KnitTheDore: ahh, James. The day I cut my hair is the day Severus washes his.

Notions4Potions: HEY! What did I ever do to you?!?!

BlondeAttraction: your 'air. Eet disgusts me.

SeriouslySirius: hahahahaha Snivellus!

ElvesNeedHats: well, Professor Dumbledore does make a good point. I mean, his HAIR. You can make a grease factory out of it.

BlondeAndGorgeous: I use Sun Silk! It keeps my hair nice and blonde and shiny.

Queasley: I use something a little less gay. Like Head and Shoulders. It keeps my colour nice and rich. And keeps me straight, unlike Malfoy. Gaylord.

Name'sJames: yeah, well I use Pantene Pro V. that way, my hair is always sexy.

SillyLily: Potter, that's a lie and a half. You're hair is not sexy. It's dry. And it would get better if you stopped running your hands through it every now and then. It ticks me off. And by the way, there is NO shampoo greater than Suave.

SeriouslySirius: uh, hate to break it to you darling, but there is. It starts with a L and ends with an oreal.

Notions4Potions: yeah. That's your problem. You use all these expensive luxuries for your hair. I'm a wizard, so I simply use 'Scourgify'.

KnitTheDore: Are you freaking kidding me?!?!? You wash your hair with WATER?! Have you ever actually USED shampoo? Or even SOAP?!?! Or SELSUN BLUE?!?!

BlondeAttraction: Vous êtes très stupide. Everyone 'ere knows zat ze greatest shampooing ever eez…

ElvesNeedHats: what? Like, honestly. Your hair can't be real it honestly looks fake. Faux. Unreal.

Queasley: Shut up, 'Mione. What is it Fleur….?

BlondeAttraction: Johnsons' Baby Shampoo. Its keeps ze 'air très, très, très soft. C'est magnifique!

ElvesNeedHats: Oh! I used to use that….when I was three.

BlondeAttraction: you are just jealous. You do not 'ave my gorgeous hair.

BlondeAndGorgeous: you tell it like it is sister! That girl's hair is so bushy that when I first saw her, I thought she was an escaped Mandrake from Herbology.

Queasley: shut up, Malfoy. When I first saw you, I thought you were a woman. Your mom is manlier than you. And trust me; your mom is F-E-M-I-N-I-N-E!

KnitTheDore: Ouch, Mr. Weasley. That was cold. That was dry. You burned him bad.

Notions4Potions: I am leaving I cannot tolerate any more of this nonsense. I'll see you later, Lily.

SillyLily: I'm with you on that, Sev. Why don't we just go meet in the library now? I've had enough of working with Potter and Black.

­-Severus Snape has signed out.

-Lily Evans has signed out.

Name'sJames: oh, damn, they're going to be in the library alone together. I need to go spy.

-James Potter has signed out.

SeriouslySirius: Yay! Opportunity! I'm going to watch James make a fool of himself. Tootles.

-Sirius Black has signed out.

KnitTheDore: I NEED to find a Godforsaken quilting pattern! I need tips!

ElvesNeedHats: I'm a rather accomplished quilter! Shall I meet you in the room of requirement now?

KnitTheDore: yes! Thank MERLIN!

-Hermione Granger has logged out.

-Albus Dumbledore has logged out.

Queasley: I'm going to……the bathroom…..the one on the seventh floor… next to the come and go room…. BYE

­-Ron Weasley has signed out.

BlondeAndGorgeous: it's just you and me now, Fleur. What say we go to the salon and get ourselves a makeover?

BlondeAttraction: I would love to. 'Ow about we Apparate to Paris? Or Toronto? I 'ear they 'ave a great salon called Jie….

-Draco Malfoy has signed out.

-Fleur Delacour 'as singed out.

Ghost: nobody to scare this time….

A/N: this one may have sucked, but I was dedicating it to Jie, my buddy and his salon that just shut down cuz he's moving L… so anyways, I'll make a funnier chapter next time, and I hope you read all of the future chapters to come!

(8)Leave me a Review, and I'll get back to you!(8)

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