Author's Note:

This is a stupidly long chapter. I hope you guys are enjoying this! I'm having a lot of fun with it.

Chapter Warnings: Douchebags, gross crying, and... stoned flirting?

Please please review! It really would brighten my day.


Chapter 3: Negotiations

After being tied to a chair and watching her best friend being interrogated to the point of tears, Rose decided that drugs were bad. The auburn hair women strained at the ropes around her wrists. The tabs were not completely out of her system, but her head was a lot clearer. Clear enough to realize that this wasn't a trip and she and Chrysanthemum were actually being held hostage by a group of insane terrorists.

They were obviously insane because nothing they said made sense.

"This is you final warning," the guy with a million piercings said threateningly. He seemed to be the leader. "Tell us where we are or I will turn to more painful methods of interrogation."

"I'm telling you the truth!" Chrissy all but screamed desperately, tears pouring down her face. "You are in a city called Seattle, in a state called Washington, in a country called America!"

"Stop speaking gibberish, yeah!" the long haired blond in the group yelled, clearly frustrated. "There is no such country or city with those names!"

"Please," Chrysanthemum said, her voice breaking pathetically. "I don't think you're in your own world anymore! I don't know what's going on anymore than you do! Please!"

Piercings closed his weird grey eyes and slowly let out a measured sigh.

"I'm starting to see that," he said finally. Chrysanthemum's features started to light up in hope, but they were quickly transformed into a look of horror when the leader motioned over one of his men. "But nonetheless, I feel like you're hiding something. Itachi, interrogate them both thoroughly. Pull every bit of useful information from their minds and then dispose of them."

"W-Wait," Chrysanthemum whispered, voice suddenly hoarse. "You don't have to do that."

Piercings gave her a hard look. "Apparently I do," he said coldly. He gestured for Itachi ('what a stupid name,' Rose thought) to carry on and the black haired man stepped forward. It was then that Rose noticed he had red eyes, red with a swirling black pattern. They were actually… kind of beautiful… in a creepy threatening kind of way…

"Wait!" Chrysanthemum cried. Rose manage to tear her gaze away from the pretty eyes and look at her friend who was clearly losing it.

"I'll… I'll tell you everything," she said, looking where except at Itachi. "I'll tell you, you were right I was hiding something. B-But…" Chrysanthemum turned her head to make eye contact with the leader.

"I'll only tell you, Pein-sama."

Pein-sama ('another stupid name') met her gaze evenly. "Tell me how you know my name," he ordered.

Chrissy shook her head, though it must have taken a lot of courage to do so. "I'll only tell you," she repeated, this time with more resolve. A deep chuckle came from the group.

"You're not really in a position to give ultimatums, kid," a very tall man in the back said.

Rose did a doubletake. He was blue! Actually blue! What was with this group of freaks? There was the blond, who she had been convinced was a girl, but the voice said otherwise. There was a guy wearing a swirly orange mask that was probably impossible to see through. And the loud albino that cussed a lot was currently stabbing himself with a weird knife and licking off the blood. In fact, the only normal looking one was a short redhead sitting quietly next to the blond, but there was definitely something off about him too.

Pein (Rose remembered that -sama was an honorific) faced Chrysanthemum with an expressionless look, considering her. "And why would I agree to your terms when I can just as easily get all the information I want from Itachi?"

"Because…" Chrysanthemum faltered under the leader's withering stare. "B-Because…"

Pein seemed to come to a decision in his mind. He gestured for Itachi to continue and turned away as the black haired man took a step forward. Chrysanthemum panicked.

"Because I know about Nagato!" she blurted, frantically.

She must have hit the mark because Rose could have sworn the room got ten degrees colder.

. . .

Chrysanthemum felt herself become lightheaded as the words involuntarily left her mouth. They were so screwed.

Pein slowly turned back to stare at her and she could feel his anger barely being contained behind his cold exterior. The room was dead silent, most of the Akatsuki confused because they had no idea what she was talking about. Chrissy wondered what part of the timeline they were from. Apparently, no one had died yet. But if that was the case, then why was Tobi here? He replaced Sasori after the puppet's death. But Hidan was also here, so they were from the timeline after Naruto had left for his three year training. If she had been able to, Chrysanthemum would have rubbed her temples to ward off a headache.

Pein finally spoke. "How do you know that name?" he asked.

Chrysanthemum gathered her courage and replied, "I know a lot more than that. And I promise to tell you all of it."

"But only me," the man mused. He gave her a final thoughtful stare before turning to his team. "I'll counter your terms, by agreeing to hear you out and have the others leave. But Konan stays with me and the others will take your friend. If you try anything or lie, she will die immediately."

Rose squeaked in indignation and Chrysanthemum felt a wave of relief wash over her. It wasn't the best arrangement and there was still a very high possibility that the two of them wouldn't make it out of this alive, but she knew it was their best chance.

"Yes, sir," she said breathlessly. "Thank you, sir."

Pein gave the Akatsuki some brief directions, several of them not looking happy about it. Then they all were gone, Kisame lingering just long enough to grab Rose, chair and all. The drug addict made a noise of protest at being manhandled, but seconds later she was gone as well. The only ones who remained were Pein and Konan, the two of them speaking in hushed voices.

Chrysanthemum felt a knot in her stomach. She sent a silent prayer to whoever was listening that she and Rose would make it out of here without being killed. The entire situation was still a bit surreal and she almost let herself think that she was dreaming. But she knew it was real. The rope digging into her wrists was real. The weariness of her eyes and pounding headache from stress and crying was real. Her stomach clawing itself to ribbons in a reminder that she hadn't eaten all day was real. This was happening.

Pein and Konan finally finished their discussion and came over to the miserable girl.

"We will ask the questions and you will answer," Pein stated authoritatively.

Chrysanthemum nodded defeatedly.

"How do you know the name Nagato? What do you know about him?"

"Like I said, I know a lot of things," Chrissy said, resigning herself to the fact that she was going to have to go against her better judgement and break the fourth wall. "And it's going to sound insane."

Pein and Konan waited, expecting an answer. Chrysanthemum took a deep breath and decided the best course of action would be to just let it all out and deal with the effects later.

"Ninjas don't exist in this world. Well, they kind of do, but not really. Not shinobi like you at least, with chakra and everything. We don't have chakra here. And I know all these things about you because… well because I've read about you. And watched you on TV. I know it sounds crazy, but you're actually fictional characters in a show I use to watch as a child. I know pretty much everything about you. Your abilities, your pasts, when and how you die, everything. I was pretty obsessed too, I owned all the manga and a few sets of the anime and I had plushies and I did so much cosplay. Wow I was really cringy, no wonder I didn't have any friends, but Itachi is my favorite and I hate Tobi, why is he here by the way? He's not supposed to be here until after the Kazekage Retrieval Arc, but Sasori's still here. Crap I'm probably screwing up the timeline so bad right now, but I'd prefer that to dying, though dying sounds really good right now, since I hate my job and my friends and my life and my boyfriend and, oh God, David, he's going to kill me—"

"Silence!" Pein thundered, cutting of Chrysanthemum's babbling. The woman shut up instantly. The plan in her head was to explain the situation in a calm manner, but clearly that went straight to hell.

"What you say is impossible for me to believe," the Akatsuki leader stated, Konan nodding at his side. "So unless you provide me with proof of your statements, I will kill you now."

Chrysanthemum's mind blanked. Proof? She had to prove it.

"Can I be untied please?" she asked.

"No."

"Please? I can't do anything. I can't fight you, you'd win in a second. And I need to get something in order to prove it to you."

After a moments hesitation, Pein slowly conceded and nodded to Konan. The blue haired kunoichi immediately stepped forward with a kunai knife in hand. As the ropes binding her to the chair were cut, Chrysanthemum couldn't help but stare at the blue haired angel.

"You're even prettier in person," she mumbled.

Konan's lips twitched in an almost smile. When the ropes dropped to the floor, she stepped back and returned to her leader's side.

Chrysanthemum tried to stand, but found her knees to be weak and she collapsed. Realizing how pitiful she was, the young woman crawled her way to her bag that she had dropped at the stairs when she had first arrived. She dug around in it before pulling out her cellphone. Pein and Konan hovered over her in case she tried to move against them. What a joke.

"What is that?" Pein demanded.

"Phone," Chrysanthemum replied, putting in her passcode. "I don't have any of the merchandise I had when I was into the show, so I'll just have to show you a video."

"The technology of this world is very advanced," Konan noted.

Chrysanthemum hummed noncommittedly and managed to make her way to YouTube with trembling fingers. She was going to need years of therapy after this was all over. Finally managing to find a video, she pressed play and offered it to Pein. The Akatsuki leader look dubiously at the device that was blaring aggressive rock music from the crappy AMV, but he finally accepted it. He and Konan huddled around the device and Chrysanthemum took the opportunity to lay on the dirty floor and contemplate her very screwed up life.

. . .

"So I gotta ask," Rose said, boredom finally getting to her. "Are you a guy or a girl?"

The blond scowled in irritation. "I'm a guy, un!" he yelled.

Rose nodded. "That's what I thought, but the long flowing locks were throwing me off. You need a haircut, Rapunzel."

Before the blond could reply, the swirly orange mask guy jumped onto his back.

"Don't be mad Senpai!" he said in an annoying voice. "Tobi had the same question when he first saw you too!"

The blond was fuming now and began to try and beat the crap out of the self-proclaimed Tobi, while most of the others laughed at their expense. The psycho kidnappers had taken her to the top of an abandoned building really far away. It had been an interesting sensation to be flying through the air while tied to a chair. And now they were waiting for Chrissy and Piercings to finish their negotiations. Rose hoped Chrissy knew what was going on, because she sure as hell didn't. She still thought it was part of her acid trip. She was definitely going to buy more of this stuff the next time she saw her dealer.

"So what's happening here?" the auburn haired woman asked. "Is this a ransom operation? If so then I'll write you the check myself."

"How much you got kid?" a masked man with unnerving green eyes and stitches all over his body asked, a greedy tone entering his voice.

"More than you can handle," Rose replied with a wink. Okay, clearly the drugs were not out of her system yet.

"We will not take actions of any sort until Leader-sama has given us an order," Itachi reminded the stitched man.

"Lighten the fuck up, Uchiha," the albino sneered. "This is a shitty situation, might as well get something out of it."

"You," Rose said thoughtfully, staring at the man. "Chrissy would like you."

The albino glared at her. "Excuse me, bitch?"

"Last I checked, Chrissy liked idiotic douchebags. And you dress like a stripper, so bonus points!"

"The fuck you say!?" The obnoxious albino was restrained by the stitched man. "Let me go Kakuzu, you old bastard! I'll fucking sacrifice her to Jashin!"

"You're not too bad kid," Kakuzu said, appreciatively.

The big blue guy nodded. "Yeah, it'll be kind of disappointing when we have to kill you," he said with a sharp toothed grin.

"Why kill me?" Rose asked dramatically. "I can think of so many more fun things to do." She gave the tall man an appreciative once over and whistled.

The man gave her a good natured chuckle.

"I don't think I'm your type, short stuff," he said, amused.

"On the contrary," Rose said. "Big, buff, and dangerous are exactly my type. And I could work with the blue thing. It's… exotic."

She wiggled her eyebrows suggestively and the albino made a retching noise.

"She smells good. Can we eat her?"

"No Zetsu. As unfortunate as it may be, you can't eat her."

. . .

"I've seen enough," Pein decided. He placed the phone on the Chrysanthemum had been tied to. He and Konan had watched videos nonstop for about 45 minutes. The girl was still laying on the floor.

"I have come to the conclusion that you are not lying to me," he continued. Chrysanthemum lifted her head just enough to view the man staring contemplatively at the ceiling.

"You say there is more material regarding the Akatsuki and others from this… anime?" he asked, the word strange to him.

"Yeah. Some books and a lot of episodes. It would take a long time to finish it all."

"You will acquire all forms of the material needed and bring them to me," Pein commanded.

Chrysanthemum sighed, putting her head back down. "There goes my college fund," she said miserably.

"I also have many questions about this world," Pein continued, obviously not caring about her higher education. "Until they are answered, I will not kill you or your friend. But you will still remain our captives."

"I'd like to make a compromise, sir," Chrysanthemum said.

Pein nodded, allowing her to speak.

"You guys have no idea how this world works, so instead of being captives, let us be your guides," the woman said. "If we suddenly disappear from our everyday lives, the authorities will look for us and they are already somewhat aware of you guys. So me and Rose can house you, feed you, keep you hidden and stuff. But we need to be able to act like everything is fine. I still need to go to work and Rose has family that likes to check in on her every now and then. So we can't be your captives… uh, sir."

Pein considered before nodding. "There is sense in what you say," he agreed. "But how will I know you will not double cross us?"

Chrysanthemum gave a hollow laugh. "I wouldn't dream of it," she said. "But I'm afraid I don't have anything to convince you except my word."

"Then I will once again counter your offer by requiring at least one member to guard you and your friend at all times while out."

"Great. Always wanted a bodyguard."

Suddenly, a catchy dubstep beat filled the air, startling them. Chrysanthemum got up into a sitting position a look of fear on her face.

"What is it?" Pein snapped, the dangerous edge returning to his voice.

Chrysanthemum felt the tears sting her eyes again, frustrated by it because she had just managed to pull herself together. "It's my phone," she said quietly. "Someone's trying to call me."

She knew who it was.

Pein picked the phone up off the chair and tossed it to her.

"Answer it in a normal fashion, don't reveal any details about the Akatsuki or your situation, and make it so that we can hear as well."

Chrysanthemum stared at the ringing phone. She didn't want to answer.

Hands shaking more than when her life was being threatened, she accepted the call and placed it on speaker.

"H-Hello?" she said, unable to keep her voice from breaking.

"What the hell, Chrysanthemum!"

"D-David I—"

"No, shut up! Where are you!? I thought we had plans!"

"David, I know I'm sorry, but—"

"Don't you 'sorry' me! I took time out of my schedule for this date, for you! Does that mean nothing to you?"

"David please, it means the world to me, I just…. Something came up."

"Oh yeah? Please tell me Chrissy, what came up that was so important that you had to blow me off?"

Chrysanthemum looked up at Pein and Konan who were watching her impassively. She looked at the floor and began picking at a loose nail in the wood.

"Rose overdosed," she said quietly. "I had to help her, it was really bad and—"

"YOU FUCKING STOOD ME UP FOR THAT CRACKHEAD!?"

"David, she had been missing for three days and—"

"I don't care Chrissy and you shouldn't either! I thought I told you to ditch her last year!"

"I—"

"I'm always looking out for you Chrissy and this is the thanks I get?"

Chrysanthemum couldn't even form a reply. All she could do was sob into her sweater and continue picking at the nail.

"And now you're going to cry like a bitch, huh? Unbelievable."

"D-D-David, I-I—"

"Forget it Chrissy. Don't bother coming home tonight. Stay with Rose, since she's so important to you."

There was a click and the line went dead. The room was silent, only broken by Chrysanthemums heaving lungs and the occasional hiccup. Konan finally leaned down and gently pulled the young woman's hand away from the nail in the floor, as her fingers were beginning to bleed.

Pein cleared his throat. "I have one last question and then I want you and your friend to find the Akatsuki suitable housing for the night," he said, not missing a beat.

Chrysanthemum only nodded. Konan was giving the leader a disapproving look which he chose to ignore.

"I want to know why you only wanted to tell this information to me and not the others."

"Because of Tobi-Madara-Obito, or whoever the hell he is," Chrysanthemum said absentmindedly. "He's a piece of shit who betrays you and kills Konan and I support your cause more than his, so I'd like it if you'd win."

Pein blinked, the girl's answer surprising him in more than one way. He came to the conclusion that despite the fact that she was weak emotionally and physically and clearly had some deep psychological problems, he rather liked her. She would prove to be a worthy subordinate.

"I see," he said. The leader straightened and gathered his thoughts. "I will retrieve the rest of the Akatsuki and your friend. Konan, tend to her. We will move out in five minutes."

"Sir?" Chrysanthemum croaked. Pein glanced at the pathetic girl on the floor, Konan moving to treat her injured fingers. She lifted her puffy, bloodshot eyes to look at him.

"If you do decide to kill us, can Itachi do it?" Pein didn't respond, so she continued. "Like I said earlier, he's my favorite and I'd prefer a quick death rather than Hidan's stupid ritual or Deidara blowing me up."

Pein considered. "I will keep that in mind," he told her.

And Chrysanthemum smiled at him, because his statement was the best thing that happened to her all day.


Thoughts?

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See you next week!