This is a funny story (if you don't find it funny in anyway, I will pay for your petrol so that you can go to a good rehab.)
For everyone who requested Sakumo, your wish has been granted.
Chapter 3 Things to do when you're dead
The legendary White fang, Sakumo Hatake was in heaven, after saving his team members lives, but at the cost of the mission. All of Konoha hated him, even the people who he had saved; this caused him to kill himself. He was in Heaven, and in charge of the safety and security of Heaven, not that he really cared. Whenever people started to fight his team was there to keep it from getting out of hand. His team was: himself, the 4th and newly added Haku, who replaced Hanzo. His team specialized in speed and power, capturing and stopping all who disrupt the peace.
Unfortunately a group of people had found Kakuzu, he had gratuitously and painfully killed them, and their families, their pets, and all acquaintances; and he was in trouble. The ancient shinobi could not withstand the might of so many people, when in heaven you can't die but can still feel pain.
As soon as the security team found out about the fight they were there. Some of the fastest ninja with powerful techniques can stop any fight. Haku used his bloodline limit to freeze a section of attackers, Minato used his speed to get Kakuzu away safely and keeping him restrained. Sakumo used ninja wire to stop all others in the area.
Jiraiya was having trouble with the fact that he was still alive, he thought that his purpose was over: train Naruto, do a godfathers duty, and discover the true identity of Pein. He knew that he would have to die soon; Pein would find out that he was still alive, or Tsunade would kill him for making her worry so much, he knew that Pein would hurt less. Tsunade had a twisted sense of humor when it came to punishment. She would beat you senseless; heal you back to normal, and when you try to move she would break that part; legs, arms, jaw, ribs, organs, whatever could not move fast enough to get out of her way.
I wonder if Tsunade would fight Pein over who gets to kill me. Thought the toad Sannin as he climbed the stairs to his hotel room, he also thought that it was lucky that he still had some of Naruto's money with him.
If Pein kills me my body will become one of his and that might be very bad, he would use me good looks to get more female followers. I should just lay low for a while, and hope that neither ever locates me.
The next morning Jiraiya started walking to the next town, not knowing which it was, but after asking, knew in which direction it was in. He had a good feeling about the surrounding area, it felt safe and welcoming.
BOOM, yelling and other fighting noises.
And here I thought today would be peaceful and full of young hot women. Jiraiya thought to himself as he ran off in the direction of the fighting.
"Banish him!"
"Torture him."
"Let us get our revenge!"
"EVERYONE CALM DOWN! I can't banish him, but he will be tied here for the next 200 years, you can do almost anything to him, but he must stay up here. Now if you would like to start the buckets of excrement are on your left and the spiky planks of wood are on your left.
You may only do one thing to him every week, due to the vast number of people wanting revenge. But to make things fair, there will be new things every day. Thank you that is all; let the revenge begin."
"Sasori why are you doing this, set me free!"
"I have had a change of heart. (Whispers: and besides I don't want to end up like you, I asked for forgiveness, and I plan on stealing some things later today, but you can't help me so bye.)
"He's lying, he just told me."
"And who are you going to believe, me a person who has done nothing to you, or him the one who ruined your lives?"
"I HATE YOU, ouch, stop, ouch, no not the bucket, NOOOOOO!"
"Give the Jinchuriki to me now."
"I will not let you near him."
A few minutes later, Tsunade is releasing her stored Chakra, Naruto is going 3 tails, and Pein is using all 6 of his bodies, the fight of two on six is perfectly matched. Tsunade keeping the fat Pein and two others busy, while Naruto was using his speed, burning Chakra and demon Rasengan to attack the others.
"Did I tell you how I killed Jiraiya, so pitiful, but you two will be joining him soon enough."
"No, he can't be dead; he should have been able to beat you."
"Yet here I am, about to kill you, and take Kyuubi out of your weak body."
"I-I-I-WILL-KILL-YOU, how dare you say that ERO-SANNIN is dead, he is on a completely different league than you."
The fight starts getting too much for the Konoha warriors; panic is visible on Tsunade's face for s split second, that was all Pein needed, he forwarded his attack all on her.
"Naruto, Tsunade don't panic, don't fear, I the gallant, super sexy, astounding, perfection in person, super good with the ladies, toad Sannin Jiraiya is still alive, I knew that you would need
my help so I rushed her as soon as I could. I may have been badly wounded, but when I was fighting him I found out his true Identity."(Strikes lame pose.) "Why is everyone looking at me angrily?"
"Why can't you die? You should be dead!" Pein(s) yelled.
"Do you know what trouble you have caused, you left a few weeks ago, and you gave Naruto his key, he's not ready. What were you thinking?" The slug summoning super strong woman said.
"That's my wallet, Gama-chan's empty; you used all my ramen money!" Yelled Naruto as his 4th tail began to grow.
"It looks like I must use THAT TECHNIQUE, to escape death this time, note to self: stop talking out loud when my life is on the line."
The story continues later, when I post the next chapter, please review, any review is welcome, even if you just want to compare petrol prices.
