Hiro knew the internet was a dark place sometimes, but she hadn't known the extent of human cruelty until she looked at baby name websites.
The question she kept wanting to ask, again and again, was why. Jennifer spelled Ghenypher, Madison spelled Maedesynne, and a whopping one hundred and thirty four spelling of the name Caitlin all stared up at her from the computer screen, testaments to the twisted nature of modern people. All she had wanted was a cool name! She hadn't gone looking for this level of… she trailed off mentally, not having a word for it. This was the polar opposite of cool. It was to cool what antimatter was to matter, and she wanted no part of whatever forums and sites these people hung out on. Unfortunately they seemed to have infiltrated most of the internet, so, shuddering at the memory of a particularly bad spelling of Vanessa that would haunt her nightmares tonight, she left her room to get something to eat and hopefully clear her head.
Aunt Cass was making chicken; anyone with a nose could smell the spice she put into her hotwings a mile away. Hiro's stomach growled, making her Aunt turn around and smile at her. "These'll be ready in a few minutes, sweetie. How was college today?"
Hiro shrugged, plopping down at the table. "My Scientific Ethics professor liked my paper, but we're not sure about the viability of citing Baymax as a source since he's technically, legally, not a person. He'll get back to me on that." Yawning, she stretched, trying to think of a casual way to bring up what she wanted to ask. "Aunt Cass? What were my parents going to name me if they'd known they were having a girl? Or if Tadashi had been a girl, like, what names were they gonna use?"
Asking about her parents was always awkward. There was a lot of grief still there, even all these years later. Hiro had learned grief didn't really go away, it just changed form into something else. With Baymax's help she'd processed Tadashi's death, but now, she understood why her Aunt locked up when the topic was broached, why she got sad or wistful when the nerd herd was talking about science the way her sister and brother-in-law had. Sometimes Hiro still couldn't look directly over at Tadashi's half of their room. Their family had holes in it where people they loved used to be. She watched Aunt Cass take the chicken out of the oven, face uncharacteristically down for a moment.
"Your mother wanted a girl," she started, sounding faintly amused and mostly sad. "She and I were so close growing up, I think she wanted to have daughters who were the same. You and Tadashi were close right from the beginning, of course, so she realized it wasn't about being girls, but… she had lists of girls' names. She loved to plan things out, whether it was in the lab or at home. Your poor father got used to her texting him at work to ask what he thought of things. I did, too. I'd be in the middle of baking and get a text saying 'do you think Himeko Hamada sounds cheesy' or 'I know Ai is overplayed, but what about Aika?' and even if she settled on one, it didn't last. She wasn't any better when the ultrasound confirmed Tadashi was a boy, and she wasn't any different with you." She started putting food on their plates, looking a million miles away.
"So Mom wanted to give us Japanese names no matter what, even if we'd both been girls?" Hiro asked, thinking back to her futile internet endeavors. She hadn't looked at Japanese names specifically, just whatever Google turned up first in terms of websites.
Cass chuckled, a gleam in her eyes. "Your parents were so cute. Your father didn't want her to feel like he expected her to be an expert on Japan or anything, so he suggested English names, especially from my side of the family. Meanwhile your mother was on the war path about how people shouldn't have to take on English names to be taken seriously in America these days, so she wouldn't hear a word of it."
She smiled, thinking of her parents. Even though she mostly didn't remember them, she remembered her mother was always in motion, talking with her hands, expressive and unapologetic. To a young Hiro, it had seemed the world stopped to listen to her Mommy. Her father was more like Tadashi, from what little home video they had. He was snarky, witty, soft spoken and looked at her mother like she'd hung the moon and arranged the stars. She couldn't imagine them butting heads on something without her mother winning the argument, which explained why she and Tadashi were named what they were. It might have been where their iron will came from, too, at least in part.
"You know," her aunt interrupted her thoughts, setting the food down and taking a seat next to her, "I have some of your mother's old notebooks. One of them had some name ideas in it. I'll see if I can find it for you after dinner, okay?" She paused, noticing Hiro was biting her lip and hanging her head. "…okay?"
Disregarding her favorite food, Hiro pushed back the chair to hug Aunt Cass tightly, unable to put words to the overwhelming amount of love she felt in that moment and the equally overwhelming feeling of being loved in return. "Thank you," she choked out, embarrassed to find she was on the verge of tears, which she barely forced back. "Um, sorry, I just…"
Aunt Cass pressed a kiss to the top of her head like she had when Hiro was a little girl. "I know."
When she woke up the next morning to find her mother's journal on her bedside table, Hiro didn't even bother trying not to cry, cradling the book close to her chest as happy tears welled up. She loves me, she thought, feeling the way she had when Baymax took her flying, Aunt Cass loves me for me. She loves me as her niece. Coming out didn't ruin anything. She will always love me just like Tadashi always loved me and my parents loved me.
She fell back asleep like that, curled around the book in her bed, and drifted into the most peaceful sleep she'd ever known.
