Chapter Three
Disclaimer: Still don't own :(
Dean really didn't want to have to answer this question.
"He…" Dean didn't know if he was going to be able to say it.
"Did somebody do this to him?" the doctor asked.
"He…he did it himself."
"Do you know why he would do something like this?"
Because our dad's an ass who makes us hunt things you wouldn't even picture in your worst nightmare, and Sammy here started hearing voices in his head.' Dean thought.
"He said he was hearing voices…just one actually; in his head." Dean said, making a silent apology to Sam for saying that and making him sound insane.
"And you didn't act upon it? Did you tell your father?"
"He was 6! I didn't think he was serious. I thought it was like an imaginary friend kinda thing. I didn't tell anybody, I just told him to ignore it and it would go away. He didn't bring it up again so I thought it had gone and I forgot about it."
God, what have I done? I've killed Sammy. I've killed my baby brother. Dean thought as he tried not to sink back down into his chair.
"Can I go see him?" When he saw the doctor about to protest he said, "Please?"
It came out pleadingly and broken and the doctor nodded his head and walked out of the room.
Dean grabbed his leather jacket off the back of the chair and raced after him. He followed the doctor back into the room he'd seen Sam in earlier, only now Sam was hooked up to a heart monitor and had an IV needle stuck in his right wrist and was dressed in blue hospital pants and a white t-shirt. His left arm from the elbow down to the palm of his hand was heavily bandaged.
Dean closed the door behind him and walked further into the room and threw his jacket on the bottom of the bed.
"Oh god Sammy; what have I done? I shouldn't have told you too shut your mouth, I should've helped you, and now you're dying and it's all my fault. I'm so sorry Sammy." Dean said, sitting down in the seat next to Sam's bed.
"If I could go back and take back everything I said that day I would, but I can't. And I don't know of anything that could possibly help you; so it's up to you little brother."
Dean sat in the chair watching Sam as he laid motionless in the hospital bed.
Hours passed and Dean gradually got more and more exhausted until eventually he couldn't keep him eyes open and he fell asleep.
When Dean woke up Sam was still unconscious. Dean looked up at the clock. 10pm. It had been nearly 20 hours since Dean had found Sam on the bathroom floor back at the motel.
"Come on, Sammy, you gotta wake up."
Dean pulled Sam's letter out of his pocket and unfolded it, reading it again.
Dean,
I'm sorry. For everything.
For getting mom killed.
The voice was right and I realise that now.
I'm sorry it took me this long to figure it out.
So I'm going to do what I should've done a long time ago.
I'm ending it Dean; I'm ending everything.
That way you and dad won't have to worry about me getting in the way anymore.
You won't have to look out for my pathetic worthless ass anymore.
I'm sorry
Sam
Dean folded the note back up and stuffed it back into his pocket before going out into the waiting room to get another cup of coffee. When he walked back into the room he saw Sam was waking up.
"Dean? Dean, where am I?" Sam asked, still half asleep, when he saw Dean walking through the doorway.
"In the hospital Sam." Dean said, sitting back down in the chair and putting his coffee on the side table next to the bed.
"What why? I don't remember going with you and dad…where is dad?"
"You didn't get hurt on a hunt Sammy; and dad's…gone."
"Gone where?"
"I don't know." Dean shook his head. "But you're awake now, so I can call him."
"Dean, tell me what's going on." Sam looked down at his arm and went pale. "Dean? What…?"
"You tried to kill yourself Sam." Dean pulled the letter out of his pocket and through it to Sam.
Sam unfolded it and read it quickly before putting it on the bedside table.
"Dean, I'm sorry."
"Explain to me why you did it Sam. What exactly was this, voice saying to you?"
"It doesn't…"
"Don't you dare say it doesn't matter." Dean clenched his teeth. "Just tell me."
"Exactly what I wrote in the letter. It's my fault that mom's dead, that you don't have a home or a mother and that dad doesn't have a wife. I could never help, because I was too pathetic to be of any proper help to anybody. I got in the way and all those people died..."
"What people?"
"All of the ones we couldn't save whenever I tried to help, but I just got in the way."
"Sam, don't ever think that again. It's not true. Okay? Me and dad hate doing all that research crap and that's what you're best at. So don't you ever think any of that again okay?" When Sam finally nodded Dean asked, "Can you hear anything in there? Besides you're on thoughts?"
Sam thought for a minute and then shook his head. "No, it's quite. Just me in there. It feels good." Sam smiled for a second before it fell. "Why can you call dad now that I'm awake? Does he not know that I'm here?"
"Yeah he knows, about all of it, and since you told me when you 6 and I didn't do anything…he blamed me and I guess it was my fault it got this bad but… Anyway, dad told me not to even try to call or find him until you woke up."
Dean pulled his cell phone out of his pocket and dialled his father's number. It rang and rang until it got to the voicemail.
"Dad it's Dean. Sam's awake, I don't know where you are, but we'll probably have to stay at the hospital a little longer just to make sure Sam's really okay."
Dean hung up and chucked the phone on top of his jacket.
"No answer?" Sam asked.
"No, no answer. I better go get your doctor, tell him you're awake."
"Dean don't. Can we just…leave? I've seen movies like this Dean. They stick the person under suicide watch for at least 72 hours and put in freakin' metal ward. Let's just, bail."
Dean thought about it for a second before getting up and closing the door. He unplugged the heart monitor from the wall and pulled the IV out of Sam's wrist. Dean found Sam's clothes in the bottom drawer of the beside table and threw them to him.
"Get dressed quickly and then we'll go."
Sam walked into the bathroom dressed quickly and then walked back out to find Dean opening the window.
"Good thing we're on the first floor huh?" Dean said with a smile.
He put his phone and Sam's letter back into his pocket and threw his jacket out the window and then jumped out after it. Sam followed him a second later and they walked carefully around the building and back into the parking lot where the Impala was still sitting.
"So where do we start looking?" Sam asked as they got in the car.
"We got see Bobby; start there." Dean said and pulled out of the parking lot
