After their initial love-making the days passed by in a blaze of unbelievable happiness. They were very seldom apart and when they were together they were nearly always upon each other. Kiril discovered he had a nearly insatiable appetite for the Kaldorei and more often than not it was he that would initiate their sexual encounters, often with little to no regard for where they were when the mood struck him. Not that Tamarack seemed to mind. Much the opposite he was generally enthusiastically willing to have or be had by his young Quel'dorei lover wherever they might be, especially in the midst of nature.
During all of his time with Tamarack, and it had been months perhaps even half a year by that time, he had seen no one other than the druid. They had never run across other Kaldorei in the forest and Kiril began to realize that they never traveled outside of a certain area. Sitting nestled in Tamarack's arms as they sat against the log near the fire pit one evening he mentioned this.
"Is there a reason we never see anyone else? Aren't there other druids in Ashenvale, or other Kaldorei?"
Tamarack nuzzled the back of Kiril's head and inhaled the scent of his hair. "Yes. There are many, actually. Some are like me and tend appointed shrines and act as guardians over specific portions of the forest. Others live in the barrows and commune with each other and nature together. There is a small village called Astranaar being founded. There are also Sentinels that have outposts here."
"Sentinels?"
Tamarack made a thoughtful sound. "They are like our warriors, the protectors of our people. It is an honor reserved only for our women."
"Oh. Why don't we ever come across any of these people?"
"Well... druids serving a post such as myself are bound to protect their part of the forest. Until I am called back to Moonglade it is my duty to watch over this shrine and the forest that it serves as its Keeper. I won't leave the boundaries of my wood without grave need. And to be honest I think it best that you avoid other Kaldorei for as long as possible," he said quietly, cinching his arms tighter around Kiril.
"Would my presence really upset your people that much? I mean... the other races, including mine, came to your aid at Mount Hyjal, and haven't your people joined the Alliance? Surely other members of the other races have come to your lands," Kiril said.
Tamarack propped his chin on the top of Kiril's head. "Yes, this is all true, but you have to understand that there is history between our people. Old history, bad history, painful history. And change is slow in those that have had the luxury up until now to inhabit eternity. My people are reclusive and mistrusting by nature, especially in these times of confusion and regrowth. We are trying to re-establish ourselves and understand our new destiny."
"But you did not seem concerned with the fact that I was Quel'dorei. I think it intrigued you," Kiril said, tipping his head back to look up at Tamarack.
The druid smiled. "I was. But I think druids, at least some druids, are a bit different in our ways of thinking. We understand that diversity is one of the glorious attributes of the balance. It's why we embrace the Tauren as brethren in the Cenarion Circle. They too 'walk with the earthmother' as they say."
Kiril was silent for a few moments. "And what is this 'Moonglade' that you mentioned. What happens when you are called back there?"
Tamarack chuckled and began kissing the edge of Kiril's long ear, which made the young high elf squirm and begin to flush. "You have so many questions tonight, dalah'surfal," he murmured. "Moonglade is a sacred place to all druids. A place where our largest barrows were built long ago at the height of our civilization. Where the longest sleepers lie, and the old ways are kept alive by Kaldorei and Tauren alike. There is a village there called Nighthaven where many who follow the druidic calling live. I have a home there."
Kiril breathed softly. "Will I be allowed to go there?"
"Mmhm. The Circle is very accepting of diversity in its midst. You cannot become a druid, but as long as you respect the balance you will be welcomed among them," he said, his voice low and deep as he continued to tease the sensitive shell of Kiril's ear with his lips, teeth, and tongue.
Kiril let out a lover's sigh and then began to turn in Tamarack's arms, coming to straddle his hips and look down into his face, taking it in his hands. "I am sure it will help that I am sharing your bed."
"I imagine so," Tamarack replied with a teasing smile before Kiril pulled him into a kiss.
It was a few days later when Kiril became ill. It had started in the middle of the night Kiril woke as if from a nightmare, sweating profusely and feeling as if all the air had been crushed from his body. For several days he felt drained and sick, vomiting and shaking periodically, sleeping when he could but more often than not lying in a vague misery moaning or whimpering, unable to understand what was happening to him or why he was ill. Tamarack tried to cleanse him and heal him, sat patiently as his side dabbing sweat from his perpetually dreched and shivering body, but he could do little but comfort him. After two days of this Tamarack was ready to leave to fetch a priestess, but by nightfall Kiril was beginning to feel better and was able to eat and hold down food. By the next morning he was feeling generally well again, but continued to feel weak from the ordeal, and could not shake a general sense of foreboding, that something was just not right.
Once again he and Tamarack were wrapped up together by the firepit in the early evening leaning against Shando as the fire crackled. Watching it as he leaned back against the druid, listening to his heartbeat made Kiril feel peaceful and calm. They had been sitting in silence for some time when a sharp cry broke the quiet evening air. It came from the path.
"Ishura? Ishura!"
Tamarack stiffened and Kiril immediately disentangled himself from his lap. He looked around, alarmed as Tamarack got to his feet, motioning for Kiril to stay where he was. "Amarra?" the druid called, steping towards the head of the path.
A Kaldorei woman broke into the clearing. She was tall, as tall as Kiril, and had long dark blue hair and wore a purplish chain armor. Two deadly looking glaives were strapped to her back. As she came upon the druid she pulled off her faceguard to reveal a beautiful face with dusky blue skin akin to to the druid's and darker blue markings almost like a mask around her eyes. She was out of breath as if she had been running at great speed or from some great distance. "Ishura! Halas fandu-" She addressed the druid, but stopped short as her eyes fell on Kiril. Her eyes went from him back to Tamarack and back to Kiril once more before returning to the druid. She hissed something to him that Kiril could not hear, but he was sure it fell along the lines of 'what the hell is this?'
Tamarack held up his hands in a placating gesture, and they conferred in low voices for a few moments. It was not until Kiril heard the words "Quel'thalas, ""Quel'dorei," and "scourge" that he began to try to pay attention. The lines of Tamarack's body had gone rigid and he stared at the woman with a frightening intensity, which he momentarily turned on Kiril. The look in his eyes sent a horrid shiver down Kiril's spine and he got to his feet, stepping towards them.
"What? What is it, what did she say?" he asked, looking between them.
Tamarack began to turn towards Kiril, but the woman reached out and grabbed his arm, bringing his attention back to her. "You must come!" she said insistently in Darnassian. That much Kiril could understand, but the harsh litany that followed was lost on him. Tamarack listened and then nodded slowly, the lines of his face set in deep thought.
"You should come inside," he said in common tongue. "You have come a long way, Amarra." The woman rolled her eyes and then sighed, giving Kiril another half curious, half scandalized look before stalking into the tree.
"What's going on?" Kiril asked, stepping towards Tamarack. "Who is that woman?"
Tamarack reached out to put his hands on Kiril's shoulders. "She is my niece. The daughter of my brother who is also a druid. She is a Sentinel. They are calling the Keepers back to Moonglade."
Kiril put his hands on Tamarack's forearms. "Why?" He searched the druid's face, not liking what he found. "Tell me! I know she said something about Quel'thalas."
Tamarack took a deep breath. "I do not know how to tell you... but it explains your illness the past few days..."
"What?!"
"There has been a war."
"A war? What war?"
"Upon the lands of Quel'thalas. How long have you been gone?"
"I don't know, perhaps two years. What has happened?!"
"I do not know the details, but Amarra tells me that the Scourge, the undead of Lordaeron, have laid waste to your homeland including your city of Silvermoon. They have been repelled but corrupted your 'Sunwell', and that it has been destroyed by your own people to stop the spread of its corruption. This is what you have felt, I am certain. You were connected to it still, even here."
Kiril stared up at Tamarack his own heartbeat pounding in his ears. "This isn't possible."
The druid pursed his lips together, averting his gaze for a moment. "The druids and the Keepers are being called in from the wild to group together and await more news. We have no way of knowing how far reaching the ramifications of this terrible thing may be, but believe me this truth, Kiril. I must go to Moonglade soon and quickly."
Kiril felt lost, adrift in emotions he could not even begin to catch at. Here he had been wandering the wilds of Kalimdor and all this time a war had been raging in his home and he had not know. His family, the House... were they well? Did they live or die? Had the House fallen or withstood the invasion? "How many have died?" he asked his voice a whisper. Tears were beginning to fill his eyes.
"Many," Tamarack responded, his voice almost as soft.
With a harsh cry Kiril collapsed to his knees. Tamarack followed him down and pulled him into his arms, soothingly stroking his back. "But others have survived, and others have fled. They are regrouping, thero'shan, to rebuild your home. I must go, we must go. I to Moonglade and you... to wherever your heart tells you you must."
Kiril clung to Tamarack, fighting down tears. Where his heart told him he must? His heart was not telling him anything now except that it was breaking. Rebuilding the city? But who was even left? Would his family even be alive if he returned? Was leaving the one happiness he could be certain of worth it to return to a homeland in ruin that may never have anything to offer him again? He did not think so. He did not think that perhaps his homeland would need him, he thought only that he could not bear to lose anything more. "I will go with you," he whispered. "If you are all I have left I will not lose you."
Tamarack pushed Kiril away gently, looking down into his eyes. "You will never lose me, dalah'surfal. Even were you to return to your homeland, remember that I could be near you always, no matter the distance. Think of your people... can you forsake their plight?"
Kiril shuddered at the rememberance of the Emerald Dream and the horror hidden behind the Nightmare. What he was feeling now is what he had felt looking into its gaping black mouth. He shook his head. "I would never find my way back there into that Dream place... No! I won't leave you."
Tamarack did not look satisfied, but neither did he particularly relish parting from Kiril. He touched his face. "I will grieve with you, I promise. But we must leave soon, and we must prepare now."
Kiril nodded dumbly and stumbled to his feet. He did everything that Tamarack asked him, numbly packing things and bringing items into the tree where they would be protected. He could always feel the burning gaze of the Kaldorei woman on him, but he never looked up to meet her eyes, even when he heard her hissing things to her uncle that he was sure were about him. It took them well into the night to prepare. Tamarack had rites to perform at the shrine. It was during this time that the woman, Amarra, finally addressed him in common.
"What has brought you here, Quel'dorei? How is it that you have ensorceled my uncle?" she hissed at him so that Tamarack could not hear.
Kiril looked at her squarely with eyes red from silently crying. "Your uncle saved my life. It is he that sought to keep me here, and now I do not wish to leave."
She narrowed her eyes. "Why would he keep you here?"
"So that we could learn from each other."
"You seem to have been doing quite a bit more than that with each other."
Kiril closed his eyes and looked away. "I love Tamarack. No matter what you think. I came her by chance, and I have asked nothing of him."
"If your presence in Nighthaven brings us trouble because of what has happened in your homeland-"
Kiril turned back to her with a snarl. "If I bring any trouble to the one that I love I will be the first to banish myself. He is all that I have left."
The Sentinel gave him a long, hard look. "I will remember your words. Take care that you have not spoken them rashly." With that she turned and went to Tamarack, tapping his shoulder. He glanced up at her from the shrine and she bowed to him deeply and bid him farewell. "I must return to the Outpost. Safe travels... to you both."
Kiril stood silently in the clearing, watching Tamarack as he finished his rites. He was trying to hold at bay all the overwhelming feelings that kept rushing up in him every time he thought of Silvermoon City lying in ruins. It was still completely unreal. He wanted to sit and examine the information, to prod at it like a fresh cut and see if it would open farther, to understand what it meant that his homeland was invated. But he knew that if he did he might not be able to get up again. Tamarack was right, he could grieve later, but now he needed to get to Moonglade. He was brought out of his thoughts, not having realized that he had phased out, by Tamarack's hand on his shoulder.
"Kiril?" he said softly, the sound of his name grounding the young Quel'dorei. "Are you ready?"
He looked up at the druid, swallowing and nodding. "Yes."
"Good. Shando will bear you. I will travel in form."
Kiril blinked and then looked over at Shando who he only now realized was wearing a saddle and reigns. He yawned as if terribly bored and got to his feet at a whistle from Tamarack. "I don't know if I can..."
"All you have to do is hold on," Tamarack said, reassuringly. "We won't be going very fast. I cannot run as fast as Shando even with a cat's speed."
Kiril nervously got himself into the saddle, finding the lowness to the ground discomforting. When Shando stretched and shook his head he gripped the reigns with white knuckles. After a few moments Tamarack had the pack strapped into the saddle as well and before Kiril's eyes he transformed into a swift, yellowy speckled cat. Without a moment's hesitation Tamarack was off down the path and Shando was after him with Kiril hanging on for dear life. By the time they reached the road there was already a small trickle of other Kaldorei traveling along it. Most of them only gave the two a perfunctory glance, but even so Kiril felt completely out of place as they passed those traveling on foot, their bright, glowing eyes following them up the road. Kiril did not know where they were going, only that they were traveling north, and when they reached the border of another strange wood Tamarack slowed and changed form again to speak with his Quel'dorei lover. "We must cross through the Felwood. Hold very tightly to Shando."
"What is the Felwood?" Kiril asked, grasping at any excuse to keep Tamarack in his humanoid form and talking to him.
Tamarack's face grew grave and sad. "It is a great wound in our once beautiful forest. A place corrupted by the demons that destroyed our home and the vile powers they left behind. The animals are sickened and mad, and Satyr and cultists have begun to colonize our once sacred places. It is a place that tears at the sould of every druid, and one we will one day seek to heal, but we have not the strength now... not yet."
Kiril didn't know what to say. He could see that this hurt Tamarack very deeply and he wondered if the lands around his home were already places of corruption that would need to be healed. He shivered, and then Tamarack was already back into form and Shando was following him into the eerie woods. The rest of the journey went by in a blur. Kiril actually began to doze in the saddle, so much so that when they entered the caves of the Furbolgs that ran between the Felwood and Moonglade Tamarack gently lifted Kiril from the saddle and carried him as he slept in his arms the last way to the druid sanctuary. No one questioned their presence, several druids greeted Tamarack softly, eyeing the slumbering Quel'dorei in his arms with curiosity, and perhaps a bit of pity, surely this was a refugee who had somehow found its way into their midst.
Tamarack took him to his home, a small apartment in the upper eaves of one of the large buildings that overlooked the lake the druids called Elune'ara. It was there that Kiril woke, and there that he stayed for days wrapped in the cloak of deepest mourning. Tamarack could not always be with him. He was often called to council with the other druids where they discussed what was happening abroad and how they should best respond. Tamarack brought what information he learned back to Kiril, though most of it only made his sorrow greater, and so the druid was often loathe to tell him anything. He would often find he love sitting in the one large window that overlooked the lake, his expression distant, his chin in his hand.
"What are you thinking about, thero'shan?" he would ask softly, coming up behind him to kiss his head.
Kiril would come to himself as if from a dream and shake his head. "Nothing."
But Tamarack knew he was thinking about his homeland, wondering about his family and his friends. But still no matter how many times he suggested it Kiril refused to leave and go to them. He clung to Tamarack in his sorrow, and even their lovemaking became something more akin to desperation, a way to stifle his feelings by feeling something else.
He had the occasion to meet Tamarack's elder brother Falandor, who at the time was accompanied by another of Kiril's nieces, a girl named Aage of only 15 years, a rarity among the Kaldorei who seldom had children. Falandor Strongbough was obviously less than pleased with his brother's indiscretions and while they discussed it hotly in the other room Kiril continued to keep vigil at the window.
"You're different."
Kiril turned his head, eyes falling on the young girl. She had dark blue hair like her sister, Amarra, and markings that cut down her face like the edges of blades. She had a serious, but sensitive look about her and seemed somehow out of place in her pretty child's robes. She was nearly as tall as Kiril already. Kiril nodded. "I am," he answered in Darnassian.
"I want to speak common. Father won't speak it with me," she said clearly.
Kiril turned in the window to face the girl, letting his feet touch the ground as he sat on the sill. "Alright," he responded in common tongue. "What do you wish to speak about?"
She regarded him with her luminescent silver eyes for a few long moments. "What is the world like? The world beyond our lands."
"Dangerous. Diverse. Wonderful."
She stepped to the window and gazed out of it past Kiril. "I want to go there."
"Someday I am sure you will."
She blinked. "Not if I serve Elune properly. If I do that I will stay in these lands and devote my life to the temple."
"Is that what you want?"
She did not answer, and before she got the chance her father called to her sharply. She turned away. "Ande'thoras'ethil," she said softly as she turned away.
"Asha'falah," Kiril responded. Something about the girl touched him. She seemed so starkly out of place despite the fact that she was among her own people. His eyes followed her through the doorway and then found their way to Tamarack as he entered the room. Kiril rose to embrace him. "Your brother does not seem to approve."
Tamarack sighed deeply and ran his fingers through Kiril's hair. "It is not that he does not approve of us, it is that he does not approve of you being here when you should be with your people. He feels I am being selfish by keeping you here. That your family and its honor should come first."
"I chose to be here. He has no right to judge me, and no right to speak of things he knows nothing about. My family is most likely dead," Kiril could not keep the acid from his voice.
"But you cannot know that, thero'shan…"
Kiril pulled back. "Do you feel the same way then?" he growled.
Tamarack put his hands up, trying to placate his love. "I only feel that you should not use your ignorance of their fate as an excuse to hide from what has happened to your people."
Kiril turned away, back to the window. "I don't want to talk about this. Just let me be happy here!"
Tamarack sighed and Kiril could hear him stepping away, retreating to the doorway and the other room. "But you are not happy, dalah'surfal."
In time it grew better. Kiril became familiar with the village, and though he did not wander outside of it he seemed taken with the beauty of the Moonglade itself. He found that other druids, both Kaldorei and Tauren alike, were curious about him, and willing and eager to engage and approach him. Their ability to communicate, however, varied greatly and depended on either Kiril's small command of Darnassian or his partner's command of the common tongue. Many of the Kaldorei had some knowledge of the language, but the Horde-allied Tauren on the other hand generally did not. Many of them seemed impressed by his knowledge of the balance and his respect for it; others simply seemed puzzled by his very existence. It was after Kiril had been there for almost three months that the hand of fate finally found him and once again began to move the pieces of his life.
Aeltha Lightweaver was tall for a Quel'dorei woman, as tall as her little brother who was even slightly tall for a Quel'dorei man. Dressed in the heavy plate armor of a paladin of the Light, her greaves echoing loudly on the wooden blanks or the causeways of Nighthaven, she made an unusual and imposing figure. Her straight, sun-gold hair seemed to shine in the perpetual twilight of the glade, and her eyes, as fel green as the weeping pitch of the trees of Felwood, swept the faces of the Kaldorei with a chilling shrewdness. "I have come for my brother," was all she said and then she waited for someone to fetch him.
But the person that was fetched by the startled, smallish druid woman who scuttled off at Aeltha's words was not Kiril, but Tamarack. When he heard that a Quel'dorei woman had appeared, he went to her immediately.
"You are Aeltha Lightweaver?" he asked a bit breathlessly, but even as he said the words he knew that it must be Kiril's sister. Despite the difference in their hair and eye color they were obviously siblings.
The elfin woman regarded the druid shrewdly. "I am. Where is my brother?"
Tamarack bowed to her deeply, sighing in relief. "I am Tamarack Strongbough. Then your family received the letter my brother sent?"
Aeltha shifted her weight and sighed harshly. "How else would I have ever known that my little brother was in the hands of the Kaldorei? I think it's rather obvious that we received the letter."
Tamarack nodded, straightening. "Yes, of course. It's only… I didn't expect you to answer it in person. I had expected a letter perhaps… a confirmation of your survival…"
"Where is my brother?"
"He is safe."
"Then take me to him."
Tamarack hesitated and then nodded slowly, motioning for her to follow. "He does not know that I sent the letter."
"He will know soon enough," she responded icily.
Tamarack led her into the small home he shared with Kiril. He meant to call out to his lover, to prepare him, but before he could he came from the adjacent room, grinning in greeting, but the grin faded as his eyes fell upon his sister, becoming a mask of disbelief.
"Aeltha…" he breathed.
"Thank the Light," she murmured, crossing the room in several great strides and embracing her brother tightly. "Kiril… you selfish child." Though her tone was harsh, Tamarack could hear that her voice was choked with deep emotion and affection. He watched as the two siblings held each other tightly, and he realized in that moment he great difference in their age. This woman lover her brother almost as a mother might.
"I must know what you intend by coming here," Tamarack said bluntly, breaking the moment.
Aeltha released Kiril and stepped back, never taking her eyes off of his face as she addressed the druid. "I intend to do as my parents instructed: fetch my brother home and restore what honor has been lost by his…" here she paused as if looking for the proper word, "flight from his filial duties."
"And if I do not wish to go?" Kiril asked defensively.
"Then I will tie your hands to your ears and your ankles to your elbows and sling your over the back of my horse myself," she growled.
Tamarack blinked, unprepared for the ferocity of her tone. He crossed the room and stepped protectively partway between them. "I love your brother and he loves me. I will not bore you with the details of how this unlikely love came to be, but believe me that it is real. I will not let you do anything to him he does not do willingly," he said.
Aeltha raised an eyebrow. "I would like to see you try to stop me, druid."
"I would like to see you try to stop… me… from trying… to stop you," he said haltingly, realizing halfway through the sentence how absurd it sounded. He grumbled and put his head in his hands for a moment as he collected himself.
"Weren't you the one that had the letter sent?" Aeltha asked pointedly. "What did you think would happen when my family received news that their only son was alive and living with the Kaldorei?"
Kiril stiffened and stepped around Tamarack so that he could look from him to Aeltha. "You did what? What letter?"
Tamarack turned to face Kiril and touched his face, but the young Quel'dorei flinched away, eyes set and angry. "I sent word to your family out of my love for you, because you have been… unwell, since you learned of what befell your homeland. I wanted… I needed to know if your family was alive, so that you might know and be at peace with the knowledge that they had perished, or know that they were alive and decide either to return to be with them or stay knowing they were alive. I cannot support you in hiding from the truth. You did not want to know what had befallen them, because you are afraid of the decision you must make. I cannot accept that. It brings you nothing but misery."
"You had no right!" Kiril cried, lashing out to slap Tamarack's hand away.
Aeltha regarded them and then spoke, "There is no decision to be made. He must return. What he has done is unacceptable. His betrayal of his duties…"
"Surely the Quel'dorei can understand the nature of love is not always predictable-" Tamarack began.
"We are Quel'dorei no longer," Aeltha snapped. "We are Sindorei now, and my brother will be as we are. He will follow his family into this fate, for he is the one who sealed it upon us. His betrayal has nothing to do with this love of yours. I care not about who he shares his bed with. His betrayal came the day he left Theramore and turned his back on the teachings of the Light and the one place we might have found refuge to escape our withering fate." She turned on Kiril, who was now looking at her like he had been struck.
"What… do you mean?" he asked.
"When the invasion came we sought to find passage to Theramore to save the family and take refuge with you there. But you had shirked your duties and fled, little brother. Our entreaties were denied because of your slight, because of your selfishness!" This time she did lash out, stepping forward to strike him, but Tamarack caught her wrist. She fixed him with narrow eyes, that he could see were filling with tears before she wrenched her arm away with a strength that surprised him.
"I didn't know…"
"You didn't think!" she cried, and then gasped her eyes opening widely as if in pain. She grit her teeth and swayed on her feet, stumbling and nearly falling, but Tamarack caught her, easing her to her knees. She was panting and her slim fingers began to hastily work at the fastening of her heavy armor.
"Aeltha what's wrong?" Kiril asked, worriedly coming to her side.
"The Light," she panted, "it's forsaking me… it is forsaking all of us. I have to get this armor off, it's too heavy, and my strength is waning again." It did not take long to get her out of her armor and soon she was sitting on the floor in her plain clothing.
Kiril knelt at her side, and now so close to her noticed her eyes for the first time. "Aeltha, what has happened to your eyes?"
She looked at him wearily and couldn't help but crack a sardonic little smile. "It's happening to all of us, those that are surviving. The corruption of the Sunwell went unchecked for a time and it released tainted fel magics into most everything in our lands. Now our very bodies are absorbing it, changing us, sickening us… some of us have become… I cannot even explain. Starved husks, empty and insane. They are being called 'Wretched.'"
"Why would you want to make me return to such things," Kiril asked, horrified.
Aeltha looked up at him with a scowl on her face. "Because our people need you, because you are strong, because you can have conviction in the Light. I see darkness in the path of the Sindorei, or whatever it is we have become. You will be needed, Kiril. And it is your duty to return and serve your family. As I've said we might have all escaped this fate if you had only done as you'd been told. Not to mention the shame mother and father are facing knowing you are here in the hands of some… Kaldorei male." She got to her feet and angrily stalked into the adjacent room to glower out the window.
Kiril rose to his feet slowly and looked after her for a moment before going after her. He sidled up next to her and was taken aback by the tears running down her face. She did not try to hide them or wipe them away. "Sister..." he said softly.
"You will return, and you will atone for the lives you have condemned to this tainted existence," she said, her voice a breathy hiss.
"Why should either of us return?" Kiril said. "If it is as you say then we should not go back to Quel'thalas. Stay here, our families can come to us."
"I would never do something so cowardly as to hide under the skirts of the Kaldorei," she turned on him. "And our family, our -House- would never turn its back on our people. They have need of those like us, Kiril, to guide them in these dark times. You would hide here and be a coward?"
"How is it any different than if I had been in Theramore and you had fled there?" Kiril insisted.
"It was different then... there was a need..."
"What could possibly have been so different that you would not revile me for suggesting you take the same course of action you blame me for not being able to take before?!"
"I was with child!" Aeltha blurted out. Stunned, Kiril gaped at his sister, his eyes falling to her obviously unpregnant belly and then back to her face. "It was never born. I lost it to the destruction of the Sunwell and the ensuing sickness of our people. My child died because we had nowhere to go. And now you ask me to turn my back on the family I have -always- served. You are a spoiled, cowardly child, Kiril. You have sacrificed nothing in your short life. I have given all of myself to the honor of our House and of my husband's House. My husband, a man I do not even love, but whose child I was overjoyed to bear. Your selfishness has robbed us of so much. How dare you stand here and suggest that we not return?!"
Kiril recoiled from his sister. She had been pregnant? She had been pregnant and the child died because... because they had nowhere to escape to because he had left Theramore. But how could he have known that his actions could cause something like this? How could ha be blamed? But no. He knew the answer. It was the same answer Tamarack had given him when he'd made the same excuse so long ago in the forest. How could he have known that his actions would have consequences? By thinking, by being observants, by being mindful. Kiril knew and understood that now, but back then... yes, he had been a selfish child, and he thought that if he was still the person he was when he left Theramore that he would be able to turn from his sister now and tell her that none of this was his fault, that no blame could be placed on him, and that he had no intention of returning to Quel'thalas. But he was not the same person. He was a better person, a changed person, someone who could look at who they had been and feel terrible, crushing regret and guilt.
"I am so sorry, Aeltha," he whispered.
"Then do what you can to make it right," she said, her voice choked and then put her face in her hands, covering her tears.
Kiril turned from her and went back into the other room where Tamarack was still standing, watching him with intense eyes. Kiril looked at him and began trembling. "How could do this to me?" his hissed.
"I did what is best for you."
"You betrayed my trust!" Kiril said, hurt. "I made a decision for myself to be with you and to forget about everything else, and you second guessed that. Now what choice do I have? I can't stay with you now! I can't stay... not now that I know. I didn't want to know..."
Tamarack moved closer to him. "I know that, but that is not being true to yourself."
Kiril looked at him miserably. He was filled with conflicting emotions: sorrow, anger, love. "You had to know that I would leave. Is that what you've wanted? I would have just left..."
Tamarack stepped to him quickly, giving him a little shake as he took him by the arms. "Don't say that. You know that isn't the case. I love you, and I am still yours. I do not desire your absence, but I do desire your happiness and your fulfilment of yourself. You must be who you must be now. For yourself, your family, your people. We are long lived, dalah'surfal... we, you and I, have so much time. Your people need you now... I can always have you later."
"No... you've betrayed me, you've betrayed our love. Where is your conviction in what we feel now?" Kiril demanded, grabbing onto the front of Tamarack's tunic.
"It is that conviction that allows me to let you go do what you must, and to trust that I will hold you again. If you cannot see that then perhaps it is you that lacks conviction."
"Don't you question my feelings!" Kiril cried, pushing Tamarack back and stepping out of his grasp. "I was willing to forget everything but you."
"You weren't doing that for me, Kiril..." He stepped towards the young Quel'dorei, who in turn stepped back until Kiril's back was pressed to the wall and he could not get away. Placing his hands on the wall on either side of Kiril so that he was trapped.
"No I'm sure it was all for me," Kiril hissed, his fingernails digging into the wall behind him. "Afterall I'm such a 'selfish child.'"
"Yes, you are," Tamarack said softly, but it wasn't accusatory, rather his voice was soothing, holding a tender not of love in it. "You are selfish and you are so very, very young, dalah'surfal. And I love you so very, very much. I am sorry that I am not content to be the only thing in your life. I want to be a part of your life, to exist within it, not to exist to be it. You must find your own self, you cannot hide behind our love in this place. The balance exists in all things, in every one of us. You must restore your own balance, thero'shan. I cannot show you how or do it for you this time." As he spoke he drew closer and closer to Kiril until their bodies were pressed together and they were gazing into each others' eyes. Kiril was crying silently, his face twisted in a mixture of pain and longing.
"If I leave I may never see you again," he whispered.
"That is impossible," Tamarack replied softly, kissing away one of his tears. His hands collapsed in to caress the edges of Kiril's long ears and then cup his face. "I will not stand to be kept from you forever."
"But something could happen... to either one of us..." Kiril continued, his voice pleading. He wished that Tamarack would just refuse to let him go, but the druid seemed set on his leaving even though it meant tearing themselves apart. And despite what Tamarack said about not being apart forever, Kiril could not help feel that things would never be the same.
"Don't think like that. Have faith... have conviction," the druid murmured against his soft, quivering lips before he claimed them, bringing a small sound from Kiril's throat as he kissed his love with all the passion and all the sorrow he held in his heart.
Kiril could not bring himself to look back. He forced himself to focus only on the gait of the Aeltha's horse as it plodded down the path that led away from Nighthaven towards the caves that would lead them back through Felwood and eventually all the way to the boat that would take them from the Kaldorei lands back to the Eastern Kingdoms. Tamarack has offered to escourt them, but Kiril had refused. It has been heart breaking enough to say goodbye to him once after their final night of love making, he could not bear to say goodbye to him again. Kiril cluched the unopened note that Tamarack has slipped to him tightly in his hand. The druid had told him not to open it until he was out of sight of the village. He tried not to think about the fact that he could see Shando shadowing their departure from the underbrush beside the road. The inquisitive, alert experssion on the large cat's face was heart breaking.
They were just entering Felwood when Kiril finally opened the small letter. As he read the carefully written Darnassian words his eyes filled with tears and his heart seemed to break all over again. With a sob that his sister did not acknowledge Kiril wrapped his arms around her waist and buried his head against her back. He held onto her tightly and let himself cry as the miles passed by under their feet.
No matter the distance I will be with you in our dreams.
((:3 Sorry it took me a while to get this last chapter up. For those of you who lurve Tam and Kiril and want to see more of them, the only place to do so is in the main body of House Dorthonion, a larger fic of mine that is also being posted here. They are featured for a time somewhere around the middle of the story (starting around chapter 8, which should be up shortly :p). So go read that, and maybe you will fall in love with the rest of Kiril's angsty, extended family. 3 ))
