In which James learns that no means no and Carlos can't do a handstand.
Bless ya'll for the feedback, it means a lot.
It was still dark out when a body a fair bit bigger than mine plopped down on top of me.
I struggled to push them off me, and was greeted by a "Stop it, Keeen."
"James, what the actual fuck." I groan, my head hurting. I could still hear the last draining bits of the party downstairs. It had to be at least nearly dawn.
"You never showed up, so I got worried." James muttered. I felt his mouth begin to tug at the neckline of my shirt.
"James, stop." I pushed at him. Sadly, James's upper body strength was a lot greater than mine.
"Kendall-"
"We barely know each other, and while you might be just fine with having random sex with strangers, I'm not. So get off me, please." I tried to keep calm, knowing that James was still highly intoxicated.
"Keendaaaall-" James tried again, this time nipping at the nape of my neck.
I answered by punching him (gently) in the chest.
"No means no, Diamond." I groaned, pushing him to the floor.
"You're a virgin, aren't you? That's why you don't want to do me. You want to have your first time with someone special." James spat, his words condescending and bitter. "Your cute new roommate for the next 9 months isn't special enough for you, is he?'
"James, shut up, you're drunk." I sat up, looking out the window. I could see a faint purple beginning to appear on the horizon.
"You're drunk." James shouted back, smirking as if he had come up with the most clever comeback in the history of comebacks.
I just rolled my eyes, jumping at the sound of opening elevator doors.
"Carlos, what the hell?" Logan asked, spinning around and looking at a definitely high Carlos.
"'M tryin' to do a handstand." Carlos explained, crouched on the floor of the elevator. "Help me do a handstand, babe."
"I told you not to smoke tonight." Logan said plaintively.
"Sorry, babe." Carlos said, assuming a downward dog position.
"Carlos, stop." Logan reached out to pull his boyfriend from the closing elevator doors.
"You feel like shit, too?" Logan asked.
"Hell yes." I groaned. "I just want to sleep for five hundred years, to be honest."
"You never answered me." James jabbed me in the side. "You're a virgin, yes or no?"
"No." I groaned, rubbing at my eyes.
"Who'd you lose it to?"
"Like you would know him!"
"It's no big deal Kendall, jeeze, I'm sure there's a hundred guys in Minnesota alone with the same name as him, just tell me."
"I don't have to tell you anything!"
"Kendall, I swear-"
"James, you're drunk and I don't want to deal with you right now. Go back to bed and when you think you can function like a normal human being, then we can talk about my sex life, not that it's any of your business in the first place!"
"I'm your roommate, I have a right to know these things!"
"No, you don't! The only type of people who have the right to know these things are close friends and maybe my mom or something! Not someone who's practically a stranger!"
"That's not what you said when you were totally willing to get all cozy with me last night before you chickened out!"
"Well, maybe it's because I've had a shitty time with relationships, and I'm not ready to be hit on by some dude I've known approximately 12 hours!"
James fell silent. His eyes went straight to the ground. I could tell I'd said something that struck something in him.
"Babe, watch me do a handstand-"
"Carlos shut up, you're high as balls."
While Logan and Carlos tittered back and forth in the background, James slowly went to rest his head on the couch, next to my thigh. "I'm sorry, I-I didn't know." he sounded on the verge of tears. "My head really hurts, Kendall."
"I know." I said softly. "Go back to bed."
James pulled himself off the floor and slumped back into our room. I turned around to see Carlos fall over on his back.
"Did I do it?"
"No, Carlos. You need to go to bed."
"You wanna borrow a bed in our room? We don't have bunks, and Carlos and I just share a bed." Logan offered.
"Thanks." I sighed, standing up.
"What even happened between you two?" Logan asked, guiding a dizzy Carlos through the door.
I sat down on the unused bed. "I don't know, man. First he hit on me, then he kept looking at me like he wanted to eat me alive, and then after I chicken out on getting some personal time with him, he comes in and starts demanding to know about my sex life."
"James is a shitty drunk, not a shitty person." Logan explained, pushing Carlos to bed and closing the door. "He probably won't remember a lot of what he's said to you in the past eight hours, but what he will remember, he'll probably apologize like crazy for."
"Logan, God bless you for being the voice of reason." I said tiredly, falling over onto the bed.
"I am the smart one." he smiled. "Here, you left this down at Camille's party." Logan handed me my phone. "I went ahead and put mine, James, and Carlos's number in there for reference, if that's alright. Also, I put your number in mine." He waved his own phone around before putting it on a box labeled "clothes".
"Sounds good." I pushed my face into the pillow and promptly passed out.
When I woke up, Carlos was snoring loudly on the other side of the room.
I checked my phone for the time, blinking in the dim lighting of the dorm room.
1 New Text from Logan.
I opened the message.
Sorry i had to leave, i helped jo herd stragglers out of the building before security showed up. Breakfast sound good to u?
I looked at the time. It was 2:55 in the afternoon.
if by breakfast you mean extremely late lunch
I sat my phone down and thought about what had gone down last night. I wasn't particularly interested in talking to James about it, and I wasn't even sure if he was awake yet.
My phone buzzed again.
Whatever, lol. Change clothes and slap some deodorant on and meet me downstairs in 10.
I texted back an agreement and headed over to my room. There were two guys sleeping in the hallway between James and mine's dorm and Carlos and Logan's dorm, so I took the way back through via the adjoining bathroom.
I slipped in quietly, and saw a lack of female presence in the room. James's snoring form was still laying in bed. I looked to my phone and back up at James.
if u give me 15 i can probably get james and carlos up and we can all go together
Logan texted back immediately, and I nearly snorted at his answer.
Yes, dragging 2 severely hungover dudes out to mcdonalds in la traffic is going to go over so well. This is a brilliant plan. Nothing could possibly go wrong.
I laughed and texted him back.
so bad idea then?
I waited literally two seconds for the buzz back.
Hell no it'll be hilarious. Get their sorry asses out of bed.
I grinned and stashed my phone in my back pocket. I made sure I didn't stink like booze and party and set about waking the dead.
"James?" I nudged the sleeping brunette with my elbow as I climbed the ladder. "Come on, get up, we're gonna go get food."
"Gimme 20 minutes." James groaned.
I left James to rouse himself from sleep and went to go deal with Carlos.
Carlos was much less... agreeable.
carlos wont get up, what do? I shot at Logan.
Tell him we're going to mcdonalds. That's how i got him out of bed every day last year.
"Hey, Carlitos. We're going to McDonalds." I sing-songed.
Carlos popped out from underneath the blankets. "I'll be ready in 10." he said loudly, albeit groggily.
I headed downstairs to wait with Logan. Jo approached me with cake.
"Here, it's leftover from last night. I made sure there were no drugs. Also, here, have a tequila shot, good for the hangover." Jo handed me the cake and alcohol and scurried off to help clean up.
"Is tequila actually good for a hangover?" I asked Logan.
"Fuck if I know." Logan said, raising his own.
We waited for a 10 minutes that turned into 30, but eventually James and Carlos ambled out of the elevator, both sporting dark sunglasses and hoodies.
"I am going to die." James announced.
"Oh, James, always having a flair for the dramatic." Camille teased, passing us by.
"Does she ever get hungover?" Carlos whined.
"No, because she has Jo on her ass keeping her from getting one." Logan said.
"Let's go, I'm starving." I rubbed at my eyes. "The only thing I've had to eat today is leftover cake and a shot of tequila."
"Welcome to college." All three guys said at once.
Next time we will have more bonding and friendship and heart-to-heart conversations between James and Kendall (also known as, James profusely apologizing for being a douchewad and Kendall trying not to be on bad terms with his roommate).
