Yusuf hadn't noticed that he was running so low on Somnacin supplies. He could've sworn he had at least two jugs more of everything he needed; although now that he thought about it, he vaguely recalled that the cat had knocked over a shelf and shattered several bottles. However it happened, he was now contracted to ship out a large amount of Somnacin made from chemicals he did not at present own in a week to an extraction team; not long enough for the necessary chemicals to ship from his usual sources. If he did not get the Somnacin made, he could count on his body being found in a dark alley a week after the missed shipment. People don't tend to get into extracting because they are understanding or have other options.
It was for occasions like this that Yusuf had Eames on speed dial.
The phone rang until the answering machine kicked in.
Now, Eames has had some strange outgoing messages on his phone. Yusuf is quite used to that. He had been expecting Eames's previous not-so-strange-but-still-amusing message, in which Eames had been drunk and singing a surprisingly well done rendition of I Kissed a Girl.
Needless to say, Yusuf was caught rather off guard by the porn that poured out of his speaker.
"Oh god," he told his cat, "he's recorded sex on his phone. Right now, I am listening to Eames fuck someone."
The cat seemed unphased, while Yusuf grew simultaneously more agitated and strangely relieved when the someone in question identified himself by saying, "Eames, I am going to need more then that. I could do this by myself." No one but Arthur could ever sound that detached while being soundly fucked by Eames. He might as well be commenting on one of Eames's forges by all that came through in his voice.
"Why is this happening to me?" Yusuf continued his dialog with the cat. "What did I do to deserve this? My life depends on leaving Eames a message, and this happens. I really never needed to know what Arthur sounds like in bed. I never even wondered. Oh, there, Eames must be doing something right, now. My god, Arthur incoherent. Never thought I'd see the day. Now I wish I hadn't. Ohgodno, don't start talking, Eames, please, I won't be able to get through this if you start talking. Thank god. He didn't start talking after all. Not that you really care, Cat. When is this ending? Arthur, would you just orgasm already? I want this to be over. I really, really do. Eames, would you up the ante here? Get your boyfriend off, come on, you can do it. Aren't these bloody things only supposed to last for thirty seconds? How long can thirty seconds take? I'm dying here, Cat. And you don't even care. You'll be sad, though, when there is no one to feed you. You'll wish that you had- Oh, thank heaven, it's over!"
Yusuf pressed one to leave a message.
"Eames, what is that. Why would you do such a thing to me? What even possessed you to do that? I'm assuming you are aware that Arthur will slaughter you when he discovers that. He probably already knows and has already killed you. I don't even-" Yusuf sighed and rubbed his face with his free hand. "You know what? Never mind. I need more Somnacin components to be in my lab in two days. Standard rates apply. If you want to renegotiate those, ring me back. I am not calling you again until you replace the abomination on your answering machine. Oh, and are you and Arthur finally together now, or was that simply a particularly lethal one night stand?"
