Part III

2 led 9 to a certain area of the Emptiness that was obscured by a pile of burnt-out cars, rolled over on their sides and even completely inverted in the panic that had resulted from the humans trying to get as far away from Von Schmuck's Germany as they could. 9 looked into each of the cars that they passed, some of them containing sleepy people still bent over the wheels, their wispy, ash-coated hair blowing with the dust in the wind. 2 hummed as he ducked under a flipped vehicle, making his way into a small clearing that contained another plushie (one that looked rather like those people sleeping in their cars), a box of matches, and several cylindrical devices that caught our favorite noob's eyes immediately. As 2 began another verse about brilliantine and dime cigars, 9 carefully snuck away and snatched up a shiny, wrapping both of his hands around the bottom of the cylinder and holding it at arm's length...which when you looked at it, made the look from the front rather awkward...

"Alright, son, here I have something I...oh." 2 blinked when he saw 9 holding the cylinder, his optics shrinking a bit. "Ah...um...well. I can see you're...rather excited to...get started on this, then," 2 chuckled, twitching his finger in a "come hither" gesture. "Come on, son...let's get you wired."

9's face broke into an enormous smile at 2's last words, and he ran forward with the cylinder still at his hips...much to the dismay of 2. He leapt out of the way to avoid getting rammed with such a large object, looking up and adjusting his hat...just in time to see 9 nearly hit into a wall with the bullet still at his crotch.

"NO!"

He stopped a split second before ramming into the concrete curb, and 2 hobbled over as quickly as he could, gently taking the bullet and setting it beside them.

"Some things...are better left where they lie..." he muttered cryptically, and 9 nodded his apology.

"Right...anyway," 2 continued, offering a small smile up at 9. "Drop your fly, boy. I have a new voicebox for you."

The sock monkey did as he was told, and once again he felt relieved yet at the same time violated as 2 rooted around his inner workings, jolting every now and then as the elder plushie touched wires together. "Almost there..." 2 muttered. "Try...try talking now."

"Mdrrrrrmmmpppf?"

"Once more..." ZAP.

"Deerrmmmpph?"

"Almost there..."

"..."

"...aaaaannnnddd..."

"BIIIIIIIIIIRD." 9 suddenly cried, so loudly that 2 nearly pissed himself and fell backwards into a wheel well of a fallen car. "Heavens above, son!" 2 cried out in alarm, brushing the dust off of his arms. "No need to yell...but at least...that should do the trick." He chuckled as 9 zipped up his fly. "Now...to get this back to 6..."

"Are...are we alone?" 9 asked, speaking in the quieter manner that 2 had suggested. The older sock monkey looked up, pausing for a moment, before clapping 9 on the shoulder.

"No...no. There are many others..."

9 furrowed a brow, starting to ask exactly what 2 meant, but just then, a rustle could be heard somewhere behind the cars, and 2 perked up immediately, motioning for him to be quiet. "9...find somewhere to hide...and stay absolutely still," he whispered, motioning in a general direction in which he expected him to go. As 9 began to inch away, 2 turned a crank on his leprechaun hat and lowered a snuff over the candle flame glowing there, then reaching back to pick up a double-bladed spear. As 2 began to take more and more precautions, 9 grew more tense, peeking out from behind the metal drum where he was hiding, only to be shooed back by 2.

"Go on...get in the can..."

The noob nodded but did not comply, and held his metaphorical breath as the two waited in tense silence.

Then, the Beast attacked.

9 cried out in alarm as a monster made of kitty bones and Tinker Toys flashed out from behind one of the cars, its kitty fangs bared and a single red optic glowing in an empty eye socket. 9 dove behind the can (not quite trusting to be inside it with 2 so closely by) as 2 stabbed forward with the spear, catching one of the Beasts claws and deflecting the blow. The creature roared, swiping 2's spear out of his hand and picking him up in his mouth, chewing on him before throwing him into a fender. 9 thought he could hear a muffled song coming from the Cat Beast's mouth as he closed in on 2 again...

He is my fluffy puppy,

My pretty little puppy,

I shall pet him, I shall love him...

And I'll feed him and call him George!

It was quite catchy, but somewhere the sock monkey realized his friend was in danger, and he quickly picked up a small stone and threw it at the Tinker Toy beast. It roared and turned, catching 9 in it's red optic...then closing in for the kill.

This time 9 did get in the can, backing up against the wall as the Cat Beast stuck his paw inside the can, his claws scraping only inches in front of 9's optics. A frustrated growl sounded from outside, and the claws slowly started to retract...for a second, 9 was almost relieved it was leaving. But Tinker Toys are smarter than that...the Cat Beast was suddenly back again, using its teeth and both of its paws to widen the hole...trying to get at his precious Jimmy...

"HEY, ASSWIPE."

Both 9 and the Cat Beast turned, alarmed that 2 had shouted such a thing, and 9's eyes widened when he saw 2 standing there...visibly hurt but with 2 bullets strapped to his back Rambo-style and half of a Barbie doll smacking his butt. "Why don't you finish what you started...with me!" He reared his arm back to throw another pebble, shaking in fear as the kitty came closer, seemingly sizing him up with his optic.

"MROOOW!"

The Cat Beast closed its jaws around 2, cutting his bullets off and piercing the Barbie doll through the chest in the process. "Call me..." a staticy, female voice said in reply, and the Cat Beast looked down briefly, catching the glint of the talisman in its eye. It picked it up and unceremoniusly dropped it in its chest cavity, loping away and singing a new song:

Mommy I got a Georgie,

A pretty little Georgie...

He's a old and crusty plushie,

But HE'S SO FLUFFY, I WANNA DIE.