I'm getting a really good feeling about this fic – so onto chapter three.

What the Winchester's Would Never, EVER , say.

Chapter 3

Sam: DEAN! Omg Dean wake up!

Dean: growl what?

Sam: I just got the best song in my head, you gotta help me sing it!

Dean: Sam No! It's – three thirty in the morning – can't it wait until later?

Sam: No man – it's too good of a song, we gotta sing it together. PLEASE!

Dean: …..depends grumble grumble what song?

Sam: … I'm a little tea pot!

Dean: Well – WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY SO!

Sam: starts singing I'm a little – tea pot….

Dean: Short and spout!

Sam: HERE IS MY HANDLE!

Dean: - Here is my spout!

Sam: When I get all steamed up! By now both brother's are dancing.

Dean: HERE ME SHOUT!

Both: TIP ME OVER AND POUR ME OUT!

Sam: laughing thanks Dean, that was awesome!

Dean: Don't mention – now lets go back to sleep shall we?

Sam: Yes sir!

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Dean: You know who I admire?

John: I'm at a blank. Who?

Dean: Tuxedo Mask!

John: Who?

Dean: You've never heard of tuxedo mask? Man – don't you EVER watch television?

John: No.

Dean: Well there's this old cartoon called – Sailormoon.

John: oh – OH! That Tuxedo Mask! I remember now – why do you admire him?

Dean: I can't watch that show with out getting a huge boner – and somehow he can be around them in the flesh, and not get even a hint of a hard on.

John: A) It's a cartoon – for kids no less, if he did get a boner I highly doubt it was drawn in – and B) That's not something admirable that's over gayness. If he was real, he was totally pitching it for the home team.

Dean: Like Sam?

John: Exactly like Sam.

Sam: comes into room what about me?

John & Dean: Nothing.

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Dean: Where are we?

Sam: Canada.

Dean: What are we doing in Canada?

Sam: We're going to cure you.

Dean: Um – I'm not sick.

Sam: No, nothing medical – mental.

Dean: Mental what's wrong?

Sam: Dad told me last night you were afraid of roller coasters.

Dean: He did?

Sam: Ya – so I slipped you some pills and loaded you in the car and started driving.

Dean: You're taking me to a Canadian shrink for my fear of roller coasters?

Sam: No – I'm taking you to the Canadian Top Gun in Wonderland and strapping you in to cure you of your fear of roller coasters.

Dean: WHAT!

Sam: Now before you go off the deep end I just wanna say that –

Dean: LET ME OUT OF THE DAMN CAR NOW!

Sam: Come on be reasonable – this is a serious thing Dean, what if a poltergeist attacks an amusement park, we've got to be ready.

Dean: If a poltergeist attacks an amusement park, you're going alone. Now – LET ME OUT OF THE DAMN CAR!

Sam: laughing Nope, sorry. Watching you squirm is so much more fun.

Dean: f-ck f-ck f-ck f-ck f-ck!

Sam: Hey look we're here.

Dean: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Later

Sam: That roller coaster rocked!

Dean,………..OH GOD PLEASE TAKE ME HOME! crying

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John: sigh…..

Dean: What's wrong dad?

John: It's sort of embarrassing…

Sam: Nothing is too embarrassing in the Winchester family. Tell us, we wont laugh – right Dean?

Dean: RIGHT! I promise we won't laugh!

John: small smile you boys are the best – o.k I'll tell you.

Dean: Way to go dad!

Sam: Good man, now please tell us, we want to help?

John: sits down I discovered something about – my self.

Sam: You did?

Dean: When?

John: Yesterday – I was, well – I was in Vegas, and low on cash.

Dean: You prostituted your self for money! YOU WHORE!

Sam: DEAN! Head thwamp don't jump to conclusions like that! This is really hard for dad to say – let him finish his story.

John: Oh Sam what would I do with out you?

Sam: No problem, now please continue.

Dean: grumble whore grumble

Sam: DEAN!

Dean: sorry..

John: ANYWAY! I was looking for a quick way to make money when I came across a bar.

Sam: Was it one of THOSE bars?

John: Yes.

Dean: Hey this story is getting kind of hot!

John: I walked in hoping to maybe get an odd – job. Boy did I get one! I met this man, he was the stage manager who ran all the shows and he was short one show girl and desperate.

Sam: Then you walked in?

Dean: Oh god….

John: Yes. He asked if I danced and sang, I said yes. With out warning he pulled me back stage, next thing I knew I was in a pink sparkling dress and red wig. My name was Joanna and I had a solo.

Sam: Wow – that's, pretty. –

Dean: The term your looking for is gay Sam. Gay.

Sam: DECENT!

John: huh?

Dean: Wha?

Sam: I mean when I started working at Miami Girls in Stanford it took me six months to get a solo! I did everything from can-can dance to back up before my manager even thought of giving me a solo!

John: You were a Miami Girl singer! I'M SO JELOUS THEIR COSTUMES ARE SO MUCH MORE GORGEOUS THEN VEGAS BABES!

Dean: ……just walk away Dean…..WALK away……

Sam: Oh no hush hush girl friend Vegas Babes costumes aren't that bad! When I did a guest performance their they had me in this little blue mini skirt and black tube – and my wig and make up was amazing!

John: Don't tell me! He has you in the blonde pig tail wig with the gold lip stick and hoop earrings?

Sam: How'd you know?

John: It's his favourite costume for all the guest singers. What song did you sing?

Sam: Me? Oh well – my first solo at Miami Girls was Can I have this Dance by Anne Murray and my guest song at Vegas Babes was I feel pretty.

John: You got to do I feel pretty? LUCKY! I've asked for it a couple times, and the manager simply refuses!

Dean: my brother and my father are cross dressers at local gay bars….

Sam: Is their a problem with that Dean?

Dean: Oh no – not at you hand me that .45?

John: Why?

Dean: So I can end my misery.

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Sam: God I love Ice cream.

Dean: I love chocolate.

John: I LOVE SEX!

Dean: ….That's great dad.

Sam: I hope you get aids.

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Dean: Sam.

Sam: What?

Dean: That was – Cassie on the phone…..

Sam: She's pregnant.

Dean: How did yo –

Sam: know?

Dean: Ya.

Sam: It's my kid.

Dean: choke WHAT!

Sam: Oh right – you shouldn't know that….ummmmm – well this is awkward?

Dean: Ya think?

Sam: Now what?

Dean: There is only one man who can solve this Sammy.

Sam: Jerry Springer?

Dean: Close. Dad.

Sam: PURE GENIOUS!

Dean: I know, I'm going to call him. Picks up phone and dials John putting him on speaker phone.

John: Hello? Boys? Jeez why are you calling so late?

Dean: Dad, we need help.

John: What is it?

Sam: You see – Dean and I are – in a little bit of a pickle.

John: Sweet or Dill Pickle?

Both Sam & Dean: Dad?

John: I LOVE PICKLES!

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Sam: So this is the end of chapter three.

Dean: Yup.

Sam: You excited for chapter four?

Dean: Nope.

Sam: Why not?

Dean: This chapter sucked, so – if it doesn't pick up by chapter five I'm protesting.

Sam: You wanna go protest in the closet now and save time?

Dean: Yup.

Sam: Alright lets to to the closet,

Dean: Lets stop at this crappy corner store first and get some porn mags.

Sam: We don't need porn mags.

Dean: Reeally?

Sam: No, I'll be your porn star.

Dean: I like that sound of that.

WINCEST RULES! ……Well too me, but come on I've sure there are a couple out there who also enjoy it. If not then… . NO FLAMES!