I'm getting a really good feeling about this fic – so onto chapter three.
What the Winchester's Would Never, EVER , say.
Chapter 3
Sam: DEAN! Omg Dean wake up!
Dean: growl what?
Sam: I just got the best song in my head, you gotta help me sing it!
Dean: Sam No! It's – three thirty in the morning – can't it wait until later?
Sam: No man – it's too good of a song, we gotta sing it together. PLEASE!
Dean: …..depends grumble grumble what song?
Sam: … I'm a little tea pot!
Dean: Well – WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY SO!
Sam: starts singing I'm a little – tea pot….
Dean: Short and spout!
Sam: HERE IS MY HANDLE!
Dean: - Here is my spout!
Sam: When I get all steamed up! By now both brother's are dancing.
Dean: HERE ME SHOUT!
Both: TIP ME OVER AND POUR ME OUT!
Sam: laughing thanks Dean, that was awesome!
Dean: Don't mention – now lets go back to sleep shall we?
Sam: Yes sir!
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Dean: You know who I admire?
John: I'm at a blank. Who?
Dean: Tuxedo Mask!
John: Who?
Dean: You've never heard of tuxedo mask? Man – don't you EVER watch television?
John: No.
Dean: Well there's this old cartoon called – Sailormoon.
John: oh – OH! That Tuxedo Mask! I remember now – why do you admire him?
Dean: I can't watch that show with out getting a huge boner – and somehow he can be around them in the flesh, and not get even a hint of a hard on.
John: A) It's a cartoon – for kids no less, if he did get a boner I highly doubt it was drawn in – and B) That's not something admirable that's over gayness. If he was real, he was totally pitching it for the home team.
Dean: Like Sam?
John: Exactly like Sam.
Sam: comes into room what about me?
John & Dean: Nothing.
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Dean: Where are we?
Sam: Canada.
Dean: What are we doing in Canada?
Sam: We're going to cure you.
Dean: Um – I'm not sick.
Sam: No, nothing medical – mental.
Dean: Mental what's wrong?
Sam: Dad told me last night you were afraid of roller coasters.
Dean: He did?
Sam: Ya – so I slipped you some pills and loaded you in the car and started driving.
Dean: You're taking me to a Canadian shrink for my fear of roller coasters?
Sam: No – I'm taking you to the Canadian Top Gun in Wonderland and strapping you in to cure you of your fear of roller coasters.
Dean: WHAT!
Sam: Now before you go off the deep end I just wanna say that –
Dean: LET ME OUT OF THE DAMN CAR NOW!
Sam: Come on be reasonable – this is a serious thing Dean, what if a poltergeist attacks an amusement park, we've got to be ready.
Dean: If a poltergeist attacks an amusement park, you're going alone. Now – LET ME OUT OF THE DAMN CAR!
Sam: laughing Nope, sorry. Watching you squirm is so much more fun.
Dean: f-ck f-ck f-ck f-ck f-ck!
Sam: Hey look we're here.
Dean: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Later
Sam: That roller coaster rocked!
Dean,………..OH GOD PLEASE TAKE ME HOME! crying
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John: sigh…..
Dean: What's wrong dad?
John: It's sort of embarrassing…
Sam: Nothing is too embarrassing in the Winchester family. Tell us, we wont laugh – right Dean?
Dean: RIGHT! I promise we won't laugh!
John: small smile you boys are the best – o.k I'll tell you.
Dean: Way to go dad!
Sam: Good man, now please tell us, we want to help?
John: sits down I discovered something about – my self.
Sam: You did?
Dean: When?
John: Yesterday – I was, well – I was in Vegas, and low on cash.
Dean: You prostituted your self for money! YOU WHORE!
Sam: DEAN! Head thwamp don't jump to conclusions like that! This is really hard for dad to say – let him finish his story.
John: Oh Sam what would I do with out you?
Sam: No problem, now please continue.
Dean: grumble whore grumble
Sam: DEAN!
Dean: sorry..
John: ANYWAY! I was looking for a quick way to make money when I came across a bar.
Sam: Was it one of THOSE bars?
John: Yes.
Dean: Hey this story is getting kind of hot!
John: I walked in hoping to maybe get an odd – job. Boy did I get one! I met this man, he was the stage manager who ran all the shows and he was short one show girl and desperate.
Sam: Then you walked in?
Dean: Oh god….
John: Yes. He asked if I danced and sang, I said yes. With out warning he pulled me back stage, next thing I knew I was in a pink sparkling dress and red wig. My name was Joanna and I had a solo.
Sam: Wow – that's, pretty. –
Dean: The term your looking for is gay Sam. Gay.
Sam: DECENT!
John: huh?
Dean: Wha?
Sam: I mean when I started working at Miami Girls in Stanford it took me six months to get a solo! I did everything from can-can dance to back up before my manager even thought of giving me a solo!
John: You were a Miami Girl singer! I'M SO JELOUS THEIR COSTUMES ARE SO MUCH MORE GORGEOUS THEN VEGAS BABES!
Dean: ……just walk away Dean…..WALK away……
Sam: Oh no hush hush girl friend Vegas Babes costumes aren't that bad! When I did a guest performance their they had me in this little blue mini skirt and black tube – and my wig and make up was amazing!
John: Don't tell me! He has you in the blonde pig tail wig with the gold lip stick and hoop earrings?
Sam: How'd you know?
John: It's his favourite costume for all the guest singers. What song did you sing?
Sam: Me? Oh well – my first solo at Miami Girls was Can I have this Dance by Anne Murray and my guest song at Vegas Babes was I feel pretty.
John: You got to do I feel pretty? LUCKY! I've asked for it a couple times, and the manager simply refuses!
Dean: my brother and my father are cross dressers at local gay bars….
Sam: Is their a problem with that Dean?
Dean: Oh no – not at you hand me that .45?
John: Why?
Dean: So I can end my misery.
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Sam: God I love Ice cream.
Dean: I love chocolate.
John: I LOVE SEX!
Dean: ….That's great dad.
Sam: I hope you get aids.
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Dean: Sam.
Sam: What?
Dean: That was – Cassie on the phone…..
Sam: She's pregnant.
Dean: How did yo –
Sam: know?
Dean: Ya.
Sam: It's my kid.
Dean: choke WHAT!
Sam: Oh right – you shouldn't know that….ummmmm – well this is awkward?
Dean: Ya think?
Sam: Now what?
Dean: There is only one man who can solve this Sammy.
Sam: Jerry Springer?
Dean: Close. Dad.
Sam: PURE GENIOUS!
Dean: I know, I'm going to call him. Picks up phone and dials John putting him on speaker phone.
John: Hello? Boys? Jeez why are you calling so late?
Dean: Dad, we need help.
John: What is it?
Sam: You see – Dean and I are – in a little bit of a pickle.
John: Sweet or Dill Pickle?
Both Sam & Dean: Dad?
John: I LOVE PICKLES!
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Sam: So this is the end of chapter three.
Dean: Yup.
Sam: You excited for chapter four?
Dean: Nope.
Sam: Why not?
Dean: This chapter sucked, so – if it doesn't pick up by chapter five I'm protesting.
Sam: You wanna go protest in the closet now and save time?
Dean: Yup.
Sam: Alright lets to to the closet,
Dean: Lets stop at this crappy corner store first and get some porn mags.
Sam: We don't need porn mags.
Dean: Reeally?
Sam: No, I'll be your porn star.
Dean: I like that sound of that.
WINCEST RULES! ……Well too me, but come on I've sure there are a couple out there who also enjoy it. If not then… . NO FLAMES!
