Author Commentary; Okay, so, it's been a while since I updated this, but I got busy working on other things. So before those other things completely carry me away, I'm going to get these ideas down.

Title; Computers

Characters; England

Rating; T

Warnings; Swearing

Disclaimer; I don't own Hetalia or Eddie Izzard.

For being an older nation and living through the many years where such things as computers didn't exist, England loved technology. He enjoyed all the new machines that came out to make live a little simpler. Now he didn't even have to be standing next to France to insult him instantly. He could text, IM, email, or even use his telephone to insult the frog eating bastard. However, for all of his love of technology and machines like cellphones and computers, he still couldn't figure the damn things out.

"Cannot access printer?" Arthur said, looking at his computer screen and the cheerful little message that just popped up.

"It's here." he said, gesturing to the printer sitting next to his computer. He reached over and patted the printer a few times, "I can access printer, why the fuck can't you access printer?" h shouted at his computer.

Arthur checked the cords, "I plugged you in and everything! Fucking print!" he shouted, clicking the PRINT button again.

And again.

And again.

And again.

"If there's something I haven't done, tell me dammit!" Arthur cried, trying in vain to get the computer to tell him what was wrong, "It's five in the morning! I tried to use the bloody fax modem earlier and that fucked it up, dinnit?" he growled.

Another message popped up on the screen, "No it's not being used by something else!" he said. He clicked a few more things, and a second message popped up, "A problem of type two oh nine four has occurred? What the fuck is that? What, there are two thousand and ninety-three other problems, and I just managed to get to that one?"

Fed up by now, Arthur began clicking like mad, attempting to get the stupid thing to work. Another message popped up and the screen and Arthur froze, "Oh don't do that." he said, "Don't. You. Crash. On. Me. You. Bastard! Gah!" he cried as his screen went blank, "I'm so tired, you have no idea!" he shouted at the computer.

After calming down for a moment, "Right, I'll fix this." he said determinedly.

After some acrobatics and trying to press all of the correct buttons at the same time, Arthur finally gave up and stood up from the computer, "Right then, I'm phoning Amsterdam you bastard."

Grumbling, he dialed the number and waited a minute for the person on the other line to pick up. When he heard the other person's cheery voice, he began speaking, "Hello Amsterdam? A- Oh you speak very nice English, well done." he complimented, "Now, I've got a Macintosh computer plugged into a Canon Bubblejeff printer, and- yes, I've been to the chooser and to the printer file and chosen the Canon Bubblejeff printer- yes, I've been to the chooser file and selected the printer port, which is the same as the fax modem port which confuses the fuck outa me- yes, I've chosen the picture of the dog standing upright and not on its side (taxidermist had a go with it)- what the fu- It's five in the morning! It will not print out! There's something definitely wrong with the- . . ."

"There's an on switch on the printer, is there?" Arthur said, glancing at his printer. Sure enough, a little button labeled 'on' stared back at him. Arthur sighed and hung up the phone.

Arthur booted up the computer, got everything ready, turned the damned printer on, and printed out his paragraph with no trouble. Muttering to himself, Arthur said, "There's always one fucking thing you haven't done."

Author Commentary; I loved this skit, it was so funny. Eddie Izzard is the best.