dEfEcTiVe?
He watched.
That's what he has always done, hasn't he? Ever since birth. Watching the world around him. Noticing what others didn't.
Observant. It's what he was cursed to forever be. Some days he just wanted to hunt down and strangle whoever had the bright idea of making him the way he was. Scratch that, every day.
Then again, he didn't necessarily believe in a creator. If his existence truly had a puppeteer, then they must be one very sick man. Or woman. Manwoman?
"Can you just stop?"
Dib blinked, shaken from his thoughts. "Wha-? Oh, uhm, sorry, Gaz. But I have to keep watch! He's plotting something! Just look at him being… evil!"
Gaz lifted her focused gaze from the screen to eye said alien.
What met her was the true epitome of boredom. She had never witnessed someone with such little excitement in her entire life.. not including herself. "Oh, yeah, that's evil, if I've ever seen it," she scoffed, eyes falling back to her outlet, game resuming.
"Well, you just missed what he was doing!"
"Whatever, Dib," she rolled her eyes.
The young investigator deadpanned, sighing slightly. He should be used to it by now. It's been over a year of this.. this… madness.
It was ridiculous! The longer that alien menace stayed here, hardly blending in amongst them as a sorry excuse for a skool kid, the easier it was for him to get away with him just being… him.
It's like he didn't even try anymore! Openly experimenting on people, asking questions that no normal child would ask, even sharing knowledge that only an ALIEN would know, like how many galaxies beyond theirs had a similar structure in terms of planets and constellation maps! And he could have sworn that Zim mentioned something about creatures of pure energy living on the Sun. Something along those lines, anyway. Whatever.
Regardless, the Irken was getting too comfortable for Dib's taste! This was his planet, and there was no way that Earth's saviour was going to let some alien monster reside here without a massive amount of trouble!
Gaz hardly twitched as she sensed her brother stand. She vaguely glanced his way, not needing any further clues to conclude where Dib was heading. The female huffed, "don't bother coming back."
Dib ignored the comment as he stepped around the table, eyeing his target like a predator. Adrenaline wormed its way through him as he came closer and closer, his gut flooded with it - surging with it.
He grunted as a force collided with his head, shutting an eye. His hand covered the wound at the back of his skull, glancing down to the apple that was rolling away. Laughter.
He glared, his temper biting hard. They're just kids, Dib. They're immature. Don't let them bother you.
With an intake and release of air, he went on, approaching his destination.
Zim barely flinched from the smack of a laptop down on the tabletop across from him. He stared at it, then at the deep, blue bag before he glanced up. Lavender clashing amber. "Dib-pig."
"Space bug."
The Irken observed with a wicked grin, mirroring his nemesis. "Come to cry about your sad, little failure?"
"Uh, no?" Dib narrowed an eye as he sat across from the alien. "I just let you off easy."
"Of course," Zim smirked. "Because fleeing in terror is 'letting me off easy'." He tilted his head, looking away temporarily before he eyed his arch-nemesis again from the movement of lips.
"You just got lucky that Zephyr was around!"
"Who?"
"Zim," the child's shoulders dropped. "The vampire?"
"Oh, yes, him," the Irken folded his hands. "Well, Zim did not ask for his help! I need no help against you! I have defeated you countless of times, after all."
"That's because your stupidity lets you get away with everything," Dib defended with a sneer. "And you can't fool me, Zim. You teamed up. It's obvious."
The Irken puckered his lip from the insult, his brow furrowing. "Teamed up? With that filthy thing? HA! AHAHA!"
Dib blinked slowly, unamused as the alien cackled. "He knows where you live," he spoke over it. "He followed you into town. He defended you. He spared you. He was in your base, and he left unscathed. Do you need anymore proof?"
"Hem?" Zim drooped, blinking in confusion. "Filthy child," he hissed out. "Your paranoia is as big as your head! Enough of your disgusting jealousy!"
"Jealousy?" Dib made a face. "Why would I be jealous of him? He's a walking, undead, uh - dead thing! There's nothing to be jealous about!"
"I did not specify of him," Zim narrowed an eye, silent for moments before he glowered. "You are obviously jealous of ZIM! That mutated gopher child betrayed you," the Irken stated, his grin reappearing. "I see through your pathetic attempt to disguise your jealousy, Dib-worm. You are upset that you are so scary that you scared away a scary scarebeast! With scares!"
The child only stared. "You know, you make less and less sense the longer I know you." Dib scowled. "And I'm not jealous that he decided to stick with my nemesis instead of.. me," he shifted slightly in his seat before adjusting his coat collar, the jerk giving him a small boost in confidence. "After all, my final victory will be much sweeter with the both of you scrambling to hide from the media." He shot a smirk his rival's way. "And the Swollen Eyeball is working with me to take you and your vampire down as we speak."
Zim puffed his cheeks, fingers kneading one another in the grasp. "Enough of your assumptions! Zephyr and I are completely separate forces! If I could even call him that, that pathetic lamppost. I assure you, Dib-stink, we are not allies." The alien blinked. "Err, 'we' as in, he and I-"
"Yeah. I got that." Dib rolled his eyes before flipping open his laptop, kneeling on the bench to lean over the table towards his nemesis. "The SEN members are helping me right now to break down your vampire friend piece by piece. See?"
The Irken stiffened as he felt the waves of heat radiate from his rival. Too close for comfort. His eyes dropped to the screen shown to him, the information gliding over it. "Is it not S'M'N?"
"S'M'N?" Dib blinked. "What does the M..? Gyah.. Whatever. It's S'E'N, you moron. And we've been collecting a ton of information on vampires and weaknesses. It's only a matter of time before we completely wipe him out, and you with him."
"Salt?" Zim blew off the rant, only eyeing him curiously.
"Uh.. yeah."
The alien blinked, eyes travelling around momentarily before they came back. "You will season him?"
"What? No! It's some old legend or whatever! You know, where vampires have to count every last grain after salt spills or something."
"I thought that was elderly people," the Irken's gaze landed back on the screen, however, the lid slammed, and he reeled.
"No! You just - I don't know where you pull this information from, but you're wrong! You're just wrong, Zim!"
The alien blinked up at his rival temporarily, though his fake pupils started to sink. A scowl finally took over his features. "Zim could not care less if you were to kill that vampire leopard gerbil," he sneered. "Go ahead and take him out! If anything, it will only be a convenience to Zim! That filthy thing had a nerve to call me short! ZIM is not short!"
"I don't remember him calling you-"
"YOURMOUTHWILLBETIEDTOYOURINTESTINES!"
Dib's face scrunched from the outburst, putting space between them. "Uhm.. okay..?" He scratched at the back of his neck before furrowing his brow. "But you two are definitely together. I mean, not like 'together' together, as in, in love or whatever, that would just be weird, I mean, I'm not judging or anything, it's not like I care -"
The Irken sat there, staring as his nemesis's mouth ran a mile a minute. Something about a love pig. Or maybe a weasel? Alien vampires, and vampire aliens, world domination, blood pacts, hospital funds, smeets…?
He dully blinked, slowly sinking his chin into his gloved palm as he watched the child rant. Dib's face was turning red. Avoiding eye contact. Fidgeting. Shoulders tense.
" - not that you should, I mean, I would rather the Earth not be inhabited by hybrids. Is this creepy that I'm bringing this up? Do you think it's creepy? Don't answer that."
Dib blinked back at his alien rival, face entirely flushed. Silence between them.
The Invader continued to watch with a very lacking enthusiasm. "Are you quite finished?"
"Uhm.." Dib looked off to the side before returning his nervous focus to the green child, who wasn't actually a child, but a fully-grown alien adult, or rather, maybe not entirely full grown, and still looked like a child, so maybe he could have been a child -
"Yes?" he cut off his inner voice, thumbs twiddling slightly below the table edge.
Zim only continued to furrow his brow at his nemesis. The Irken stared for moments longer before he bit his tongue, searching the air around them for words. "Err.. anyhow, yes! I do not mind if you were to erase him from existence entirely. He is of no value to me, and is not of my concern."
Dib felt himself twitch from that. "But-!" His fists clenched at his temples before slamming them down against the tabletop. "Agh! Stop lying to me! You two are working together! Case closed! Moving on! That's that!"
The alien immediately scowled, his eyes sparked with utmost fury. "Zim will not sit here and accept your filthy, patronizing tongue," he hissed. "Begone, Earth-stink, and take your.." He eyed the laptop and bag with heavy disgust. "FfffFILTHY belongings with you!" he spat, shoving the computer - by having to touch it, much to his distaste - over the edge.
The child caught it in an instant. "Hey! This thing is delicate!" He grunted from the smack of his textbook-filled backpack to his shoulder, the slam effectively wrenching him from the bench seat.
He hissed out as his back came into contact with the hard tile, the breath knocked out of him. He groaned slightly. Man, what a nasty bruise he was going to find one morning.
His expression flipped as the child recollected himself, grabbing for the strap of his bag. "Whatever, lizard! Just wait and we'll see who's of no value to -" Dib stared at the empty table, brain skipping over the last few moments of information.
The clicks of boots. Someone throwing away a tray not too far off. The lunch room door.
Zim had left the room before the bell while Dib was down, he gathered. He narrowed his eyes to the security guards on either side of the door. They were not really paying attention to their job. Then again, most adults, he noticed, did not necessarily pay attention to their jobs either. The only person he has ever known to actually care about their work was his sister's teacher, and his dad. Especially his dad.
He rubbed at his left shoulder with a huff, using the bench to pull his aching body upright. The Irken can't run from him forever. It was only a matter of time before he will find himself cornered and vulnerable to - !
"Ngh!" Dib comforted the wound at the back of his head, glaring back at the collective laughter. Another apple.
He scowled down at it before kicking it away, shoving his laptop back into his bag and slinging the strap over his shoulder, stomping out.
So, this was the skool that they attended. It's quite odd, really. He could have sworn that skool was spelled 'school', and not in the way that it was labeled high up on the front of the building. Hmn.
The pale creature's gaze followed the green dot in the sea of children. Slightly obscured by the fence before him. He would come closer to see past it, but in catching a squirrel try to run atop the barrier and be fried to death was enough for him to keep quite a fair distance from the metal all together.
What kind of a skool had an electric fence surrounding its premises? He knew that the world was a messed up place and all, but to this extent? What if a kid were to accidentally touch it? Wouldn't the board get sued or something?
He didn't follow much law. He didn't follow much of anything at all, actually. But one thing that he did follow was the sport that the alien was participating in. Well, not followed. Honestly, he had no idea how to play volleyball. He couldn't even recollect the last time he played it. Or if he ever played it, that is. Things get pretty fuzzy when you've been around for a while.
A whistle. "ZIM!"
The vampire was shaken from his thoughts, his voids for eyes coming back into focus.
"I appreciate you participating in gym with your classmates today, but a team is a team for a reason!"
"Nonsense! These filth children are nowhere near as able-bodied as ZIM to relieve this side of the butterfly net of that injured ball!"
What in the name of…? Was that a boy or a girl?
Zephyr stared at the coach with horrifying fangs protruding from.. their top lip. Or were they were tusks? His mouth curled in discomfort as he watched the fight.
"I don't know what you just said, but your combative screaming with mine has earned you a time out!"
"Time out?!" The Irken sneered. "Zim did nothing to deserve such demeanor! I demand to speak to your lord and master!"
Zephyr blinked as the alien clung to the Earth from another blast of a whistle.
"TIME OUT! NOW!"
The pale child studied as the Irken stuck his odd tongue out and stomped off. The game resumed, children laughing amongst themselves. His eyes followed the alien to his destination. A lonely bench under a tree. Away from the activity. The alien crossed his arms, head lifted in superiority as he observed his schoolmates across the yard. Body language slowly deteriorating.
Zephyr caught the alien starting to droop, his eyes sinking. Slouching. Moping. His makeshift confidence completely disappeared..
And then he was suddenly perking up? The vampire narrowed his gaze, searching for context clues to aid him.
Dib. That creepy paranormal investigator kid again. Approaching him. Looming. Mouth moving. The alien grew a maniacal grin.
He seemed to be enjoying the company, was the only thing that Zephyr could assume. Enjoying the company of his.. rival? What in the world was going on between these two?
"Aren't they just the best?!"
The creature jerked away from the voice, whipping around to stare. Holding his cloak up for protection.
"Wow! Cool costume! Is it for Halloween? Oh, I love Halloween! Too much sugar makes me so sick, but it's still so fun! Are you cosplaying? How is that cape staying on your back like that? Does it hurt? Can I try it on?"
Zephyr failed to blink as he observed this ginger child verbally attacking him. His gaze shifted quickly, judgement running like the wind. "Uhm," he took a step away, putting space between them. The kid was so.. perky. Bright, wide eyes, and a rainbow on his shirt.
This is all the information Zephyr needed to categorize the child into the avoid-at-all-costs column. What was with these rude children nowadays? First Dib, now this kid. What creeps. Honestly, he wanted to bury himself and wait it out until the planet decided to finally turn in the towel and explode on the spot. At least then he wouldn't have to deal with anymore awkward encounters. Those are the worst. He would give up his left foot if he had the choice between it and encounters like this.
The child was just smiling. Hands clasped before him sweetly. Eyes at attention. He was waiting for a response as the vampire just stood there, poised in defense and.. staring stupidly.
What do you even say to that? The kid just garbled nonsense to him. He couldn't remember half of what he asked now. He didn't even greet him. Not that it mattered. By any means, he did not want to talk to anymore strangers that week. But he was standing there, waiting..!
Zephyr shifted with obvious discomfort, eyes straying temporarily. "Uhm.." Did he already mumble that? Did he sound stupid right now? What are words? How do English?
"My name's Keef! What's yours?" the child took the initiative, apparently not deterred from the previous response. Or, lack of.
The vampire hesitantly lowered the black fabric from his nose, brow furrowing. "Zephyr," he finally responded, relieved from the ounce of intelligence that flooded back to him. He hasn't completely lost it.. yet.
"Zephyr? I heard of something like that! Something about wind of whatever!"
The creature scowled slightly from the mention. "Well, it's 'Zuh-fear', not 'Zeh-fur'."
"Okay! 'Zuh-fear'! I gotchya!" he grinned wider… if that was even possible. Zephyr was surprised that the kid's lips didn't tear through his cheeks yet. He saw that from somewhere a while back. Cheeks ripped to extend a smile past the lips. He couldn't remember much other than that lonely detail, though, so the reference was at a loss to him.
"Anyway, I saw you watching my friends over there! They're my bestest buddies in the whole wide world! Especially Zim, he's really cool and Gir and I hang out all the time! You should go to the movies with us sometime! The more, the merrier!" He stifled a giggle.
Gir. Zim's dog… robot.. whatever thing. That thing scared him senseless the first time they came into contact. How could it be pleasant enough for someone to be willing to spend time with it?
Wait a minute. Why exactly was this kid outside of the fence with him? Perhaps he left skool early? Or was just arriving? The vampire blinked, clearly lost. "Wait, you know Zim?"
"Yeah! We play games, go to the park, shop, even phonecalls! I love talking to him over the phone, he's just so fun!"
The pale creature furrowed his brow. "And, do you already know that he's an-?" The vampire immediately cut himself off.
Should he be revealing the alien like that? Should he care?
"An awesome guy?!" Keef squealed. "Boy, is he! Zim's my bestest pal ever!"
"Mhm," the vampire blinked, his gaze trailing back to the alien across the yard, and the child who accompanied him. Poking and prodding, yet the Irken seemed far from bothered.
"Keef, was it?" Zephyr blatantly stared at the two enemies.
"Yup! The one and only!"
"A blessing, I'm sure." The vampire's focus shifted to Dib alone, eyes travelling over his rather gothic wardrobe. How did he ever manage to get his hair in that shape?
"Could you tell me about those two?" He pointed faintly.
"Oh, sure! I can go on forever about them!" Keef's excitement level seemed to spike by a landslide, the energy radiating off of him filling the vampire with a rising tension. "Well, they like to play around a lot! Movies, sleepovers, ooo, and carnivals! They love carnivals!"
He didn't know how much more he could take of this child. He wanted information, but his voice..! Too… happy..!
Zephyr's legs started to move on their own accord. Away.
"Oh, I'm sorry! Are you on your way home? Yeah, I'm getting tired too! Where do you live? Can I walk you home?"
The vampire scowled to himself as he felt the child follow after despite his efforts to ditch him.. in the least awkward way possible.
"I'm going home," he went along with it, "and no, I would rather you not. I don't necessarily like strangers knowing where I live."
"Well, that's good, because I'm not a stranger now!" He frolicked behind the creature. "Do you live in a house? Or an apartment? Zim lives in a really cool house! I cook for him all the time, and Gir and I make waffles, and we spend every Christmas together!"
Talking to this kid was a mistake. Creeper on all levels. Hyperactive creeper. Not a good combination.
"Keef," he turned to glare. He's run into these kinds of people before. Not many, but enough to know how to treat them. Firm, and relentless. "You are not coming home with me, and you are not going to follow me. Understand?"
The ginger blinked at him, smile faltering. "Aw, I understand. Your parents don't like other kids coming over to play, huh? That's okay! I'll see you around!"
The pale creature watched as the child strayed. Lingering back by the fence. It was a pretty creepy sight, to say the least.
Zephyr mirrored him, taking his leave as soon as possible, the alien in his sights until the building blocked his view. He circled around to the front, loitering by the staircase. Bars on the doors. Like a cell. An electric fence. That freaky cemetery in the back.
This skool was beyond terrifying. Come to think of it, any public place he came into contact with around here were terrifying. Perhaps that's why he kept to himself for so long. The public was a very unusual, judgmental place, and he despised the stares that he would receive on a daily basis. They made him self-conscious, like he was doing something wrong by sitting on a bench in the park, or just strolling through the city at night. People were always staring, as if there was a giant sign hanging above him saying, 'Look at the freak holding up this giant sign!'
Don't ask why he thought of that first. He doesn't know either.
Zephyr observed the premises for moments more before he moved along, taking to the sidewalk. He wondered if Zim took the bus to skool. It was a rather far walk from here..
If he could remember where the Irken lived. He glanced about. Cars. Stop signs. The occasional person walking their dog, or the other way around, it would appear.
He never did learn how to drive. And even if he did, he was quite certain that there was not a vehicle built for children that was meant for the road. He was too short, and too.. young-looking to be behind the wheel, if you considered pale, withering skin young-looking.
He waited at the crosswalk like a good citizen, however, he noticed that.. people did not wait anymore. They just crossed with the sign clearly saying, 'DO NOT WALK'. Sometimes he wondered if they knew how to read.
"Heya, buddy!"
Zephyr reeled, nearly tumbling into the open road. That kid again?! Oh, great! That's the last time he talks to any strangers on his own accord!
"I thought you could use a walking buddy! You know, making sure you get home safely and all!" Keef smiled his bright smile, rocking on his heels.
"I don't need a walking buddy," the creature snapped, immediately crossing upon the light change. He still watched out for vehicles, though, because through experience, he quickly latched onto the idea that some drivers were simply not meant to drive.
Despite his attempts to rid himself of the leech of a child, he followed right after him. "Hey! Did you ever play Candyland?"
Ignore him. Just ignore him, and he will eventually go away, Zephyr. He will get tired of a one-sided conversation. Just… ignore him.
"I play it all the time! Especially with Zim! We play all kinds of games! Rock, Paper, Scissors, Bubblegum, Slide! Ooo, and Twister! I love that game cuz it's just so fun! I love getting all tangled with friends!" He hardly tried to contain his bursting giggles, covering his mouth as he danced his way beside the vampire. "Video games are cool, too! Zim has plenty of those!"
Zephyr hardly side glanced, the ends of his lips twitching uncomfortably.
"-and we love the teacups! Especially eating the food! Cotton candy, and ice cream!"
The vampire's eye vaguely twitched as he dragged himself on. This was bad. He had no real destination, and the child was following him with a motor for a mouth. He was screwed if he didn't think of something quick!
"Hey, I'm hungry! Are you hungry? I'm sure Gir would love to cook with us! He's always cooking! Maybe we can play with Zim once he comes home from skool, too! Oh, he'll be so happy to see us!"
The pale creature eyed him in immediate interest. "Comes home? You mean, like go over his house?"
"Of course! I go over all the time to surprise him! Zim loves surprises! We should go over and make an after skool snack for him! He'll be so happy!"
"Please stop shouting," Zephyr scowled. "Do you know where his house is from here?"
"Boy, do I!" Keef squealed in excitement, taking the vampire's hand and dashing. "Wow, your hand is really cold!"
Zephyr cringed as he tried to keep up, scrambling with his cloak to protect it from any sharp rocks or shards on the way.
The kids were on something around here. They had to be. Either that, or his age was getting to him.
At least he wasn't withering to dust.
Yet.
"It sorta bothers me, I guess, since other kids always have their parents around and everything. But I prefer it this way most of the time because he's never into what I do, you know? I mean, yeah, it's cool what he does too, but it's not for me. It's just that parents are supposed to support you, not project themselves onto you. They have to understand that you're a separate entity with your own drive and willpower!"
The Irken stayed at his nemesis's left side as they respectively walked and marched. They did this more and more frequently, this walking home together from skool thing. The Dib's sibling would sometimes join them in the beginning, up until they passed by the Membrane residence, to which she would part ways. His nemesis, however, tended to stay with him. Despite the child's obsessive behaviour, he did serve as quite good company.
Zim glanced about their surroundings as he always did. Scouring the area for possible threats. Always on the lookout. It was only natural for a trained soldier to be cautious, after all.
"Did you have to deal with any of this?"
The Irken slowly pulled his suspicious glance away from a scurrying chipmunk. "Ehm?"
Dib deadpanned. "Nevermind." He glanced away temporarily, eyeing the park around them. The trees were all practically bare, the leaves coating the ground. Someone actually had the decency to clear most of them from the sidewalk. Probably the work of inmates. Nothing says punishment like cleaning the environment.
"Can Irkens have babies?"
Zim blinked before throwing an incredulous glance at his rival. However, the question was not nearly as odd as some he has certainly heard come from the child's mouth. It was far from it, but it was still pretty odd.
It did not help that the alien was terribly lost when it came to such a subject, either. Irkens were cloned from DNA samples of the most.. desirable genetics. Strong, resourceful, and especially obedient. At some point within the early training stages of an Irken smeet, each and every one was evaluated. If their traits were not to the commander's liking, they were taken out. In other words, deactivated. Deleted, without a second thought.
Err, what did the child ask again? He stared blankly as he tried to backtrack, but that was proving to be useless. At no point were they speaking of a moose. Or were they?
"Do you listen to anything I say?" Dib scowled. "I asked if you can have children. It's a yes or no question," he snapped in defense from the uncomfortable stare.
Oh, yes! Now his train of thought made more sense. "Of course I could! What kind of a question is that?!"
Dib blinked at his nemesis with an obvious spike in curiosity. "You can? Wait - you mean like impregnating, or being impregnated?"
"Yes?" Zim narrowed an eye carefully, blinking as the human facepalmed.
"It was either or, Zim. You can't -" The child's face twisted suddenly, turning back on his nemesis. "Unless you mean that your species has the ability to do either or?! That's incredible! I mean, it would explain your wider hips, not that I was looking there or anything, but that is just.. just… incredible!"
Zim furrowed his brow, his wig shifting as he tilted his head forward to compare the width of their hips. It was rather difficult when the human insisted on wearing that shrouding trench coat of his. It was not exactly skin tight. But neither was the top layer of his uniform. It puffed out, but you could certainly tell his hip width by the position of his thighs. Following this logic, Zim did the same for his nemesis.
Not nearly as spread as his. But what did that even mean? "Why incredible? Not every human can produce offspring?" He made a face from the sheer thought.
"Duh," the human sneered. "Why else would I be saying that?"
The alien blinked before shooting a glare back, bumping shoulders with the child to send a small shove, hip following the motion to send his nemesis off balance.
"Hey!" he stumbled before firing himself right back.
The alien threw himself full force against the child's efforts, their bodies smashed together challengingly as they continued to walk. "Filthy pig," he hissed.
"Scaly demon from the stars," the human growled back, his lips twisting into something less hostile.
Zim mirrored him, an almost coy grin spreading his lips. "Meat sac," he threw back.
"Space lizard."
"Vile Earth worm."
"Sugar-craving serpent!"
"ZIM is no serpent!"
"Are too!"
The Irken hummed in irritation, pushing his forehead further against his nemesis's before putting space between them. But not much. "Why did you ask Zim about smeets? Why do you speak so much of mating today?"
Their shoulders were practically glued at this point. Dib shrugged, eyes rolling away from his object of obsession. "I dunno, it never came up. You can't blame a paranormal investigator for being curious."
"Do not advise Zim who not to blame!"
"I wasn't directing it at you -"
"YOU LIE!"
"I'M RIGHT NEXT TO YOU!" he exasperated, protecting his left ear from any further damage. "Look, I was just curious because the subject never comes up. That, and, well, even though you're far from acting like an adult, you're still pretty mature, considering that you're not an actual kid."
Zim blinked at his nemesis, head tilting in question as his wig stirred.
"I mean that you take things seriously," Dib further explained from the look he was given. "I can't stand that others don't." He huffed as he ran his hand over the solid cement railing, descending the few steps out of the park. "I mean, it's pretty sad that I have to go to my nemesis to not be laughed at. Well, you laugh at everything, and sometimes at nothing, but what I'm trying to say is that you're the only one who has ever actually listened. I mean, not really listened. But still listened enough to not flat out reject what I say. Am I making sense?"
"Not one bit," Zim grinned his zipper grin as they turned right off of the staircase, passing the sign. Hurt Park.
"Well, whatever." The child rolled his eyes. "I can't expect an alien like you to understand."
"An alien like me? As if you assume that I know nothing of what you speak of? Zim is certainly not that lost, foolish child beast."
"You act like it," he shot a rather condescending glare the Irken's way. "I bet if you had eyebrows, they'd be tied together!"
"You expect Zim to understand your mysterious phrases?!"
"It's not a phrase! It means that you're always confused," he scoffed. "I can't remember one day without you being baffled."
The alien puffed his cheeks. "It is not my fault that your planet's customs never cease to elude me!" He waved his arms about. "Like how your race battles with temperatures and seasons, why exactly your calendar is a thing and where it originates from, and especially the underlying life that lives here!"
"Underlying life?" Dib furrowed his brow. "What are you talking about?"
"All of these.. these…!" Zim pointed to a squirrel that they passed. "And these!" His finger snapped towards a streetlamp, birds sitting atop. "And those dog things that you humans insist on putting leashes on to contain them! Why do they not rise up against you self-destructing humans and take back what was theirs? Surely they must be angry that their homes were paved over with streets and buildings!"
"Zim.." The human sighed. "You have no idea how hypocritical you sound right now."
"Zim is no hippo!"
The child shook his head, rolling his eyes. "Forget it."
The Invader scowled before dropping his gaze away. Was there anything wrong with what he said? The child insisted on insulting him when he was trying to be serious.
"Uhm, so, about the baby thing.." Dib started.
The alien's eyes traveled over the cars to his left, watching the bus pull away from dropping some children off. Why did Dib not take that transportation home, anyhow?
"Does that mean that you are technically male AND female? Was Tak both too?"
"No more talk of bee nests! You are sickening me far beyond I have ever felt! But it is probably just that thing you call a face's fault."
"Yeah, right, Zim." He sneered, though the smug twinge dropped as he observed the Irken beside him. Sometimes he found himself dwelling on that fact.
An alien. Interacting with him. Acting sort of human. Different biology. Knowledge of things that the human can only dream of having. He traveled through time and space for however long he was alive, has been through things that no species on this planet could ever grasp, and now he was here. Talking to him. Choosing to walk beside him, shoulder to shoulder, putting himself through this torture of taking on the role of a human child, dealing with his nemesis - when the alien was so free to just take off and never come back.
It was a little sentimental for Dib's taste, but he had to feel honoured on some level to have earned an alien life form's attention like that. Zim had all the technology in the world to annihilate him, to destroy the world.. but just… didn't.
He remembered the beginning of the alien's terror upon the unsuspecting planet. Giant schemes, terrifying plots that struck the child with unrelenting fear. The Irken was fully capable of wiping them all out, yet… almost played with him instead. As if world conquest did not matter anymore as much as having Dib there to halt him.
Regardless, Zim chose to be with him. To live with this constant chase. A never-ending game. It was the most confusing puzzle that Dib has ever come across. Not that he was complaining.
If the Irken did ever one day decide to take them out, or even just.. leave…
Dib smoothly wiped at his eye, faking a yawn. "Hey, space boy."
"Dib-thing."
The human smirked from the response, crossing paths with him to switch to the alien's left side. "Any evil schemes of yours I should know about?" he grinned.
"Zim always has an evil scheme," he leered, batting his lids almost innocently. "Do you even have to ask?"
Dib watched for moments before his grin reappeared, circling behind. "What is it this time, Zim? Turning the oceans to Jell-O? Filling our mailboxes with mutated bats? Giving Earth babies the ability to fly?"
"All amazing ideas! But no," his taunt melted into a purr. "And I do not think I will tell you this time, Earth-stink. Zim shall simply watch as you scramble to stop a plan that you have no idea how to stop."
The child scowled slightly before coming close, the human's breath tickling the back of Zim's neck. "We'll just see who's scrambling when you're under a knife, space bug."
The Irken nestled his head head back into his collar, squeaking in suppressed merriment. He quickly glared to hide the weakness, threatening eyes falling on the child who circled him like a shark would a drowning beaver. "I highly doubt it," the Invader spat. "You would be too busy crawling around in the dirt like the filthy worm you are to be stopping me from planet annihilation."
"Oh, yeah?!"
"Yeah," the Irken mocked the slang, tongue wiggling. "Go on, Earth-filth, go play in the dirt where you belong," a wicked grin appeared as the alien waved him off.
Dib scowled from that, reaching out to snatch at the Irken.
Zim turned to dodge, slipping right through the human's fingers, and then froze there on the block to stare at him.
The paranormal investigator blinked back, eyes shifting in observation. Carefully and slowly, the child tried again, his efforts suddenly snapping forward, and just like that, the alien zipped away.
The chase had begun once again. And Dib would never grow tired of it.
Zim panted as he made it past the fence, gnomes turning in his direction as he dashed. He used the door as a sudden stop, gloved fingers snagging the doorknob.
A pale hand unfortunately covered them, gripping mercilessly.
Zim eyed it, then the black-coated arm that slammed on his other side. A twisted sneer met the Irken's lips before he turned in the tight space, his nemesis's breaths hitting his.
His left arm was caught across his chest, hand still around the doorknob beneath the other's.
"Gotchya," the human smirked.
"That's what YOU think!" Zim leered maniacally. "GNOMES! Protect your Master!"
Dib gasped from the order, pushing himself off from the men's door, releasing the Irken to escape the security's clutches. He darted past them, weeding his way around the gnome bodies and stopping at the fence. He turned to point menacingly, sneer on his lips. "Your base can't protect you forever, alien! You're mine!" he hissed before running off. "Just wait! Your guard will be down and I'll be hanging like a radioactive spider from your…!"
Zim blinked dully as the human rambled to no one other than himself, vanishing out of the cul-de-sac. He shrugged before stretching, opening the door.
"Welcome home, son."
He marched through them without much acknowledgment, eyes immediately landing on the empty sofa.
Zim narrowed an eye suspiciously before a waft of… something finally hit his covered antennae. "Gir! Are you sitting in our oven again?!" he snapped, stomping towards the kitchen doorway. "How many times have I told you not to attempt to fry your-?!"
The Irken's eyes shot open. Keef, gathering things from the fridge. That vampire, sitting awkwardly at his table. Gir, devouring everything on the plates, including the plates.
"GIR!" he screeched.
The robot picked his disguised head up, a plate with mysterious, orange goop holding his mouth open. He chomped down, breaking the dish to pieces as he waved. "HI!"
"Zim, you're home!" Keef squealed, setting the food down on the table before racing over, clutching him tight. "How was skool?! Did you miss me, buddy?!"
The vampire's mouth twitched uncomfortably as he observed the alien's shaking glare. Oh, no.
"GET OUT!" the Irken cried, ripping the child from his torso to launch him into the ceiling.
The vampire blinked wide as he watched Keef disappear, the surface swallowing him up as the kid squealed in excitement. And then silence.
Mechanical shifts. An explosion, and a most cartoonish whistle of something flying away. The child screamed until he was out of earshot.
The robot bounced up and down in his seat like a toddler who couldn't sit still. "ME! DO ME!" he giggled hysterically.
"NO!" Zim snapped, the scold causing the green dog to droop. "YOU!" he pointed in the vampire's direction. "How DARE you break into Zim's humble abode! And with that HUMAN! YOU SICKEN ZIM! OFF WITH YOUR LEGS!"
Zephyr screamed immediately as the alien came at him, jumping down from his seat to run around the table.
The Irken chased him in laps, hissing his frustrations. "Yes, RUN while you still have legs to run with! I will saw them into nothing but NUBS, DO YOU HEAR ME?!"
Gir burst out in laughter once again, jumping down to run after the two. "I WANNA BE IT, I WANNA BE IT!"
Zim growled, pushing his robot from his leg before changing direction.
The pale creature mirrored him, tripping chairs to create obstacles. "Stop chasing me!" he cried. "I didn't do anything!"
"LIES!" He climbed the chairs as they attempted to block him, growling. "ZIM DEMANDS THAT YOU SURRENDER!"
"NO!"
The alien screeched at him, finally grabbing the table and lifting it.
Zephyr cringed as the large object was thrown with a strength that he did NOT expect, the table tumbling against the microwave and counter, window shattering.
The Irken screamed a war cry as he pounced, spiderlegs whipping out.
The vampire shrieked in alarm, zipping past the robot that rolled around on its back, struggling to get up like a flipped beetle would. He darted through the living room, however, he already saw the mechanical legs crashing down in front of the door.
He stopped short to duck beneath them, but a slam into the floor rendered him still, face smashed against the surface.
Zim handled the body with no mercy, a spiderleg picking him up by the back of the collar to suspend him.
The vampire rubbed at the bridge of his nose, scowling at his captor.
They glared at each other for painfully long moments before the Irken's voice pierced the air between them. "I KNEW letting you live was a mistake!" Zim snapped. "You and your ridiculously tall hair have no place in Zim's fortress! EXPLAIN YOURSELF!"
The vampire blinked before his mouth twisted in dislike. "I thought that you and Keef were -"
"NOT ANOTHER WORD, YOU SICK, SQUIRMY PIG!"
Zephyr squinted. "I'm not squirmy -"
"LIES!"
The vampire furrowed his brow, lip puckering. "Look, I'm sorry! I didn't know that you two weren't friends or whatever! He made it seem like you were close!"
"Keef? Close to ZIM?! RIDICULOUS!"
The vampire blinked, wiping the saliva from his cheek, eyeliner smudging. "Zim-"
"I AM ZIM!"
"I KNOW!" Zephyr snapped back. "I thought you two were friendly, and he invited me here! I thought it was okay!"
"Okay?! OKAY?!" Zim dangled the vampire like a fish on a hook. A very sad-looking fish. "And let us hypothetically say that Keef was close with Zim! What, then?! You think it would be OKAY to simply walk into Zim's home?! As if Zim would be OKAY with okaying your okays?! YOU SICKEN ME!"
Zephyr stared blankly as the alien freaked out on him. "Uhm… I guess?" What exactly was he responding to, again?
Said reaction only caused more rage. White hot rage. "BEGONE!" he screeched, the door whipping open.
Zephyr grunted as he tumbled down the walkway, landing by the street, cloak over his head.
"AND STAY OUT!" The Irken shook his fist.
"AND STAY OUT!" the robot imitated at his Master's side, though he broke out into a fit of giggles as the door slammed.
The vampire huffed, tossing the cloak out of his eyes. He glared back at the house as he pushed himself up to dust his oversized shirt off, disbelieving of such treatment.
Then again.. now that he thought about it, he did sort of trespass.. and followed a stranger so easily to do so. Was he really that desperate to get to know the alien?
He sighed, eyes glancing over the staring gnomes before he dragged himself off in a random direction. It's not like he actually had a place to go back to.
Well, time to wrestle those alley cats away from his spot behind the dumpster again.
"-and I have these cameras up and running to watch over him. I don't exactly have one in every single room of his base, since I haven't been able to explore everything just yet, but, I have just enough to get me by in spying on him efficiently."
"That's kind of creepy, you know."
"Oh, come on! He's an alien bent on taking over the planet! Someone needs to watch him!"
"I guess so," the altered voice carried through the speaker. A video chat. They couldn't exactly see each other, since they were cloaked and all, but still a video chat. "Could I ask something?"
Dib slowly turned his head back to the floating screen, eyes finally ripping away from the videofeed. "Go for it."
"How long has he been here, exactly?"
"Uh.." Dib scratched at his head, eyes searching his desk. "A year and a half, maybe? Almost two? Somewhere around there."
"Huh." The shrouded child blinked back towards the screens.
Dib observed before following his line of sight, swiveling slightly in his seat. "Why?"
"Just wondering how an eleven-year-old kid can stop some all-powerful alien invader. You have to admit it sounds off."
"Well, uhm, yeah, but.. That just makes me cooler, right?"
"Either that, or Zim is a moron."
"That too." Dib placed his chin in a hand, leaning against the desk, eyes aglow in the dark room, screen blaring. "There he is!" he pointed, a grin creeping up on him.
The floating SEN member came closer, observing the camera feed carefully. "Wow, that is the biggest bug I've ever seen!"
Dib had to cover his mouth, cheeks puffing in amusement. "Shh!" he bit back the fit of laughter, on the edge of his seat.
The Irken was in the kitchen on his hands and knees… cleaning. Fiercely cleaning. "Those filthy little worm weasels DARE break into my home and infect it?! Disgusting!"
"Worm weasels?" Drayne mumbled.
Dib snickered at the input, holding back his noise level.
Gir was nowhere to be found. The child briefly glanced at the other cameras before his attention snapped right back like a magnet from the voice.
"Minimoose! Bring me more disinfectant! Gir must have eaten the rest of this one!" He shook the can and pressed, though it only shot compressed air. He tossed it aside, to which a robotic arm dropped from the ceiling and caught it. The arm slowly retracted then, swallowing it back up into the ceiling.
"Nyeh!" a squeak came from offscreen.
Zim sighed, rolling his eyes. "Please," he added.
This floating.. purple thing came into the shot, a can held between its two front nubs.
"Is that a flying.. tiny.. purple moose?" Drayne blinked, pointing.
The child grinned back at the floating screen. "Yes, but I still haven't quite figured out what Zim uses it for. I mean, his robot is his partner, but this moose thing does close to nothing. Uhm.. I think."
"Huh." The shadowed figure loomed behind Dib once again, red eyes watching in curiosity. "Does he always wear those goggle things on his head?"
"Uh, no, just when he cleans. I'm not sure what they do. I haven't got ahold of them yet. But I'm assuming they help him clean more efficiently, I mean, why else wear them?"
"Stupid Keef. Stupid Zebra! Filthy Earth human hybrid pig smellies rolling their disgusting motherships of bodies all over my home!" he hissed lowly, foreign tongue squirming between his teeth. "Invader ZIM will not stand for this treatment! He shall certainly NOT!" the Irken rose in his kneel, fists clenching up before him.
"Nyeh!"
Zim blinked up to his floating companion. "Missed a spot?! ME?! ZIM?!"
"Nyah…"
The Irken dropped back down to tend to said missed spot, voice capped.
Drayne stared at the camera feed before them, eyes slowly drifting back to the child in his rolly seat, who proceeded to watch. And watch. And watch… with no intention of looking away anytime soon as the alien scrubbed and sprayed his kitchen top to bottom.
The shrouded child blinked before lifting a brow. "Well. How convenient that your alien bug is a germaphobe."
"Mhm," Dib idly acknowledged, gaze not once leaving the screen.
"You could really tick him off, you know. Tracking mud. Spitting on him. Gross things."
"Uh huh."
Drayne observed the child once again, cocking his head to the side. "Anyway, I should probably get going. Looks like you're busy. I have to go check out some weird sightings in the woods. Clowns walking around with weapons, or whatever. It sounds like a joke. Probably is." He shrugged. "I'll catch you later."
It took quite a bit of time before Dib noticed the absence of a witness, finally glancing around his room for the floating screen. "Drayne?" he called out, the glint of light veering to reveal his eyes through the glass lenses. "Drayne, are you still around?"
He searched his darker than usual cavern, briefly eyeing his alarm clock before his eyes fell back upon the screen. He could feel his eyes growing sore, and his limbs groan for a mattress and sheets, but he couldn't rest now! His Irken nemesis had another dastardly evil plan, and he was not sleeping until he found out what it was!
The Irken watched. Lounging back in his seat within the small, cozy area of his base. Many screens were before him, all blank except for the one on the far left.
His nemesis had fallen asleep on his desk again. Was it really that much more comfortable than his bed?
He had been on the child's bed before. It was squishy, and bouncy, and fun to toss the sheets out of order and snuggle up beneath. It was quite amusing being in that position, where his focus would automatically snap overhead. The Dib human has glowing planets and stars along his ceiling. A very.. comforting thing, while being wrapped in warm covers. Of course, he would never do such a thing while Dib was still home. No, he broke into the child's room while he was out on adventures to catch ghosty papayas on film, spend time with his sister, or simply go out for a walk.. if you count spying on your neighbors and watching their lot from the bushes going for a walk.
Beds, he backtracked in his train of thought. Irkens did not have such things. There was no need for that.. lowly level of comfort. Beds were for sleep, which the Irken machine simply did not require.
But humans did. This was their method of recharging. But if not plugged into a cable, where could they possibly be harboring energy from?
The human body still eluded him. Even after all of this time, he still has not received much information about it. He knew that it was made up of mostly water, meat-resistant, and their teeth were made of bones that could fall out.
Odd things, they were, but that knowledge was not enough for him. He still did not understand why they grew hair, or why they had nails. How they could digest such a vast amount of food without exploding, or why there were such drastically different skin colours. Certain things just made no sense to him.
He observed as his rival breathed peacefully, his chest expanding.. and then shrinking back down. Zim slowly tilted his head to the side, brow furrowing.
He reeled from a sudden alarm lighting up his screens, ocular implants adjusting to the flashes. "Intruder?! At this hour?!" he snapped, standing to allow the tube to suck him up.
The Irken was shot up through the thin elevator-like tube, brought to a small area just beneath the house level. He pulled his wig on, entering his evil, itchy contacts before poking his head up from the trash can.
He looked about the dark kitchen suspiciously, eyes skimming over the still table, the lowly humming refrigerator, the green light gently leaking from its bottom. Nothing seemed to be out of the ordinary.
A chill passed over him. And not the one born from paranoia either. This was a physical chill drifting about the room. There was a draft coming from an outside source, which can only mean that the door or windows were left open.
Germs swarming..!
He cried out in fear, springing from the can to bolt through the archway. The Irken quickly slammed his body into the door, shutting it with a wham. He slumped back against it, gloved hands wrapping around his arms. Breath leaving him in small, white puffs.
Gir must have left the door open. The computer was probably malfunctioning with the alarm system like it always did. Stupid minions always frightening him.
The alien sighed loudly, drooping. "Computer. Stabilize."
He marched away from the door with the satisfying heat starting to flood the room. "That robot and his outings," he hissed to himself. "He will get into trouble one day, and I will not be around to-!"
"Heya, buddy!"
The alien stopped in the kitchen doorway, pupils shrinking. Shoulders rising up in defense. He whipped around to glare at the familiar intruder, lip puckered. "I thought I got rid of you."
Keef smiled his usual smile, swinging his legs off of the couch. "Oh, don't worry! I'm alright now."
The alien scowled, blinking hard. "You dare break into my home a second time?! I told you I do not want you here! Why must you test Zim's patience?!"
"Aww, did I wake you up? I'm sorry, I just wanted to see if Gir wanted to play."
"It is four in the morning!" Zim snapped. "And Gir is out doing whatever it is that he does! There is meaning for you no longer to be here, so begone!" He stomped to the sofa, grabbing at the human with sheer disgust, dragging him towards the door.
The child frowned slightly. "Aw, okay. That's alright, Zim. I'll see you at skool later!"
"Do not watch Zim!" he hissed, kicking the child out the door into the cold night. He slammed it once again, growling to himself.
He stayed in place before moving towards the right window, peeking through.
Keef was on his doorstep. Standing there. Smiling. His eyes shifted to meet his, grin stretching.
The Irken gasped, immediately drawing the the blinds. He ran to the other window, reaching up to pull at the string contraption. He froze to stare at the child across the glass, blinking wide.
The human was wearing that same, creepy smile. Eyes glistening in delight. Still as a statue. He did not even seem to breathe.
The alien's mouth twisted in disturbance, dropping the shades between them. "Computer, take him out! Fire at will! Shoot him into space!"
The computer drawled a long sigh. "Do I have to?"
"Do as I say!" he hissed back, taking cover behind the door. He covered his head, shutting his eyes tightly. "Blast him!" he ordered.
The ceiling overhead beeped. Silence. No lasers.
"Computer, I said to-!"
"Target lost," it cut him off. "You know, putting a lock on your door and windows should potentially rid you of-"
"Target lost?!" Zim echoed. "Where could he have run off to so quickly?!" The alien zipped back over to the window above his phone, peeking out the blinds. Indeed, the ginger seemed to be nowhere in sight. "Hem.. Well, that's that." He left the blinds to wobble from disturbance, eyeing the idle sofa once again.
He was alone. Which, usually was a good thing, since he needed peace to work properly, but, sometimes the silence unnerved him.
Gir could have been dognapped. The robot got himself into more trouble than he was worth.
The Irken marched around in worry, eyes darting back to the couch every now and then as if the robot would automatically drop out of nowhere. He did that, sometimes.
The communicator extended from his Pak. "Gir! Where are you at this hour?! Respond to your Master immediately!"
The screen flickered to life, the green dog's face filling it, head open. "Hi!"
"Gir!" the Irken sighed of relief. "Why do you insist on going out amongst these people? They are the enemy, understand?! You should not be-!"
A beat dropped over the speaker, lights flashing. A roar of a crowd.
"Gir!" he snapped.
"THEY GONNA PLAY, MASTAH! DON'T WORRY, I'LL BRING HOME THE BACON, EHEHEHE, BYE!"
Zim stared at the dead screen. Great. Just what he needed. His robot enjoying his time on the planet that they intend to conquer. This was ridiculous.
He was still for moments before the alien retreated back into the kitchen, device retracting. "Whatever," he grumbled, climbing back into the trash can.
Blood. So much blood. And bacon. Blood bacon.
Gaz spammed the buttons on her portable console, eyes glued to the tiny screen. She never really did eat lunch. Not from the cafeteria, anyway. She didn't trust it. Not after Zim unintentionally revealed one of the lunch ladies being a giant worm beast from another planet infesting all of the food.
No wonder the meals were so squirmy.
A brown bag sat on the table beside her, untouched. She would mostly save her lunch for after skool, when there was no one to watch her eat. It was unnerving to have so many judging eyes on her. The daughter of a famous scientist, sister of the psychotic, alien-obsessed kid. The pressure put on her was tremendous.
But even if her brother was the cause of most of her distress, she could not help but feel a lack of company when he went to go play.
She glanced up once the level was finished. The table she sat at was completely empty. Not a soul around her.
Gaz eyed her brother a few tables down. His back was to her. Sitting across from the Irken. Eating. Talking. Zim looked quite amused.
She lowered her gaze back down, fingers hovering over the controls.
Continue?
The child hesitated, staring down at it. Actually debating.
She finally stood, stepping over the bench as she grabbed her bag and lunch, hauling her luggage around the table.
Gasps could be heard all across the room. Gaz? Moving from her usual spot?
Another collective gasp from where she settled.
"Gaz?" Dib narrowed an eye, mid-bite. "What are you doing?"
The Irken blinked as the child joined her brother, the siblings across the table from him.
"I'm sitting here. Is there a problem with that?" She opened her eyes to glare.
Dib immediately flinched. "Uh, no? I just didn't expect you to, uhm, sit here."
"You think I want to sit alone?" She finally opened her brown bag to grab the juice box.
Zim tilted his head in confusion, wig shifting.
"Well, you always seem like it." Dib watched her open the straw. "Anyway," he rolled his eyes away. "So, uhm, what was I talking about?"
The Irken continued to stare at the child with purple hair, unblinking.
"Zim," the human leaned to get in his field of vision, snapping his fingers.
Zim glared slightly at his rival from the distraction. "Zim does not care if your fingers can make that sound or not!" he hissed immediately.
"I wasn't trying to-"
"SILENCE!" the alien roared, reaching over to smack the half eaten sandwich Dib held up into his face.
Gaz paused her game, eyeing her brother to watch his temper lift a notch. It ran in the family.
"Zim demands to know why you have come to his table! This is no place for Dib-siblings!"
"Don't you listen?" her gaze landed on him. "Because I wanted to."
"Oh, okay," the alien shrugged, leaning his chin in his palm.
"What?! Come on, you kicked me away from your table dozens of times before you let me sit here!" Dib whined, trying to put the remainder of his sandwich back together.
"Gus is different," he scoffed. "She does not chew off my lekku like your irritating vocal cords do."
Despite the alien still not getting her name correctly after all of this time, she still snickered.
"Well, whatever," Dib rolled his eyes, finally regathering his lunch to take another bite. "Oh, yeah. Like I was saying, it would have gotten more publicity if you maybe took the tires instead of just laying them there right beside the cars." He deadpanned. "That was just stupid."
"Your mouth is stupid!" Zim snapped. "It was a flawless plan!"
"A plan to do what?! Bother people?! I don't get you!" Dib slammed his fist on the table. "Do something worth my time! Make a giant, frightening scheme again! Something big and life-threatening to the entire human race, you know? Like you used to! Not something ridiculous like switching around mail! Something amazing and complicated, but, uhm, not too complicated, so I can still stop you and all."
The Invader blinked across the table. "Enough of your pitiful cries for candies, Dib-worm! Trying to blow up your star was not enough for you?! I think it was quite scary," he pointed out. "And hot."
"Well, yeah, but, I mean to do something here, so I can have witnesses to your evil and all."
Zim scowled at his nemesis before eyeing Gaz. "Can you believe the demands of this filthy brother of yours?!"
"It's pathetic," she agreed, not looking up.
"SEE?" he pointed to his rival again. "Even Gus thinks so!"
"Her name is Gaz, you moron," Dib drawled. "And it's not pathetic! Look, I just want something to generally give me a boost in confidence every now and then from stopping an actually evil scheme of yours. Thwarting you refusing to feed ducks in a pond isn't good enough anymore!"
"How DARE you demand such things from Zim?!" he stood, thrusting himself forward over the table.
His nemesis mirrored him, glaring. "I'll demand all I want!"
"Then ZIM will demand all he wants! Starting with your FILTHY sleeping habits! No more sleeping! Just recharge awake so you do not have to be distracted from bothering Zim!" He pressed his head forward.
"That doesn't even make any sense!" Dib hissed, crushing their foreheads together. "Humans HAVE to sleep, you idiot! I'm sorry if IRKENS are so technically advanced that they've lost the ability to SLEEP."
Gaz eyed them through their bickering, then at the rest of the lunchroom to catch them all staring. She inconspicuously slid herself down the bench to be outside of the range of attention.
"Irkens never HAD the ability to sleep!"
"That just proves my point!"
"What point?!"
"That-! Uhm-! I don't know! But it was more intelligent than yours!"
"Was not!"
"Was too!"
"Your breath sickens me!"
"At least I don't smell like candy and glue!"
"It's PASTE!"
"ZIM! DIB!" The cafeteria went dead silent. A cicada-like hiss could be heard from the doorway. "Classroom! NOW!" Miss Bitters ordered.
Zim glanced her way before blinking back to his nemesis.
The child only glared, finally breaking their contact to gather his things.
Gaz watched as they walked and marched to exit the cafeteria. Her eyes dropped back down to her Game Slave with an unbearable heat pelting her from every side. She could feel the stares now focused on her.
Alone once again.
The teacher had left the room, he observed.
The two were left alone, side by side at the chalkboard. Dib was writing something that he could not make out, his mouth moving, as the Irken apparently veered away from the task. He was starting to scribble and draw, coming closer and closer to his nemesis to invade his side with chalk lines and doodles.
Zephyr stared at them through the window on his tiptoes, fingers hooked against the icy cement of the school building. They seemed to be having.. fun, drawing all over each others' progress, battling with the chalk.
He blinked as they started clapping each other with the erasers, puffs of chalk dust flying. White coating them. They laughed and coughed, wrestling to better one another.
Until the door opened.
The vampire quickly ducked out of sight, keeping his ears out as he knelt beneath the window sill. Frosted grass tickled at his knees. He looked down at it, eyes searching for any potential tiny invaders that could survive the dropped temperatures of February.
He gave it a good while before lifting himself back up, peeking back through the window pane. Their creepy teacher was at her desk, occupied by something behind it that he could not quite see. He glanced over to the rivals who remained before the chalkboard. Dib now had a towelette, his glasses off as he rubbed at his face. The alien was on the floor, scrubbing at the white-coated surface with a wooden brush. Yet, the white puffs kept raining down on his work from his face. He clenched his teeth, scrubbing over the mess again that only seemed to keep coming.
Zephyr studied as the paranormal investigator approached the Irken, stepping on the brush and gloved hand to halt the frantic motion. Zim glared up at him before he shut his eyes from the contact.
The vampire stared at the two enemies as Dib wiped away white to reveal exotic green skin once again, the Irken kneeling there, allowing it. Something about it looked almost.. sweet, and Zephyr was that much more intrigued.
The Irken's sudden glance his way sent him reeling, the creature of night pushing himself off of the skool wall in a panic. He grunted as he landed on the cold Earth, cloak fluttering after him.
The vampire laid there in almost shock, fearing that he would be further caught for trespassing on the skool grounds if he stood. Instead of pulling himself up, he flipped himself over, keeping as close to the ground as possible to scamper away. He probably looked like a cockroach. A really big cockroach, with a spear on its head. Maybe he looked more like an elephant beetle.
He wondered if those things still existed. He certainly hasn't seen them around in a while. Did it matter? Maybe.
The vampire finally reached the sidewalk, pushing himself up. He brushed the frost from his cloak, making his way in the opposite direction of the skool.
Those two just didn't add up. He didn't even know what to think of them anymore. Were they enemies? Friends? Together? Lovers had spats, didn't they? But they were just children. Or, at least, Dib was, to his knowledge. Things just don't.. make sense.
Was it a mistake trying to help? To butt into this.. thing they had together? After all, they both seemed to be completely fine, for however long they knew each other.
But what Dib spoke of.. Zim, and his alien race, planning to take the Earth down, and them with it. Should he be hanging around? Was Dib handling it just fine? Was Zim just… trying to live there, and be at peace? Should he even care?
Zephyr pinched at his brow, more confused than he'd like to be. Aliens, invasions, world domination. That only took place in stories and preaches of conspiracy theorists. But here he was, finding an actual alien with the potential to do all of it and more. So what in the world was stopping him?
He drooped as small flakes of snow brushed him. He didn't need anymore complications, by any means, but the sheer adrenaline of.. knowing an alien, being able to speak and interact with one, that.. was so…
Amazing. It beats any storybook. But the idea of it was so frightening, it made his gut knot in anxiety. He could die. He could suffocate in space. His body could be dismantled and kept as a specimen. Other weird alien things he did not want to think about.
Absolutely no one was pushing him to fit into the equation here. In fact, the alien seemed to only push him away. Maybe that was a good thing. There was no pressure. He could simply walk away and never think about the alien and his rival ever again.
Wishful thinking.
Not all humans have the ability to produce offspring. Only some males and females? Telling them apart still eludes me.
Invader ZIM signing off.
