The door closed behind Merlin as he came back up to Arthur's chambers. Arthur looked up; now that Gaius had told him that Merlin wasn't eating it was obvious. He was beyond pale, his skin was so white it was almost translucent. His eyes were a little glazed over from lack of sleep and his cheeks were so hollow that his bones protruded. There were dark shadows under his eyes that looked like bruises from lack of sleep.

'Merlin' Arthur said, setting down his parchment, Merlin looked up but still he didn't say a word. 'I want you to set up a bed in here,' the old Merlin would have frowned, then probably smiled, then asked if it was for a maid or a knight. Then he would have got a slap. But this new, sad Merlin just nodded and left to get everything sorted.

Arthur picked up his parchment again, but after all that had happened with Gaius, and then thinking of any way to help Merlin, he had forgotten what it was that he had been reading. He had only just got back to where he was before Gaius came in when his father entered without knocking.

'Arthur, what is all this about a second bed in your chambers? Is there something you need to tell me?'

'For goodness sake! I'm never going to finish this am I? I may as well not try!' He slammed the parchment back down on the table for the third time in an hour.

'That is no way to talk to your father or the king I'll have you know,' Uther reprimanded. 'Now, why are you putting another bed in here?'

'It's really not as bad as you are suggesting,' Arthur said.

'I don't care, I want to know,'

'Look, since we came back Merlin has been acting strangely. I'm worried about him, Gaius is worried about him and I thought that he could spend a night or two in here where I could keep an eye on him. It would do him good and it would give me peace of mind. '

'I don't approve of this Arthur,' Uther said, shaking his head.

'But this is one of the few things I insist on, Ask Morgana, ask her servant Gwen, they are all saying the same thing; Merlin needs help and I am trying to help him,'

'Fine, but it will end badly,' Uther sighed, walking out of the door.

Later that night, Arthur was walking up to his chambers, in need of some sleep. Merlin followed him half of the way and then turned down the corridor to his room. 'Merlin,' Merlin doubled back 'Merlin that extra bed in my chambers is for you. I want you to sleep in there tonight.'

Merlin frowned slightly, then nodded and followed Arthur up to his chambers. Arthur stripped down to his pants and got into bed. Merlin got undressed and slipped into his own bed, blowing out his candle and lying down. 'Good night Merlin,' Arthur said quietly. Merlin still said nothing.

Arthur left his candle still glowing and he lay there, thinking. It took about half an hour of Arthur turning over and over in his bed and trying to think of something anything to say, but he couldn't get comfortable and he felt so awkward knowing that Merlin was awake and listening to every thing he did.

Eventually, after one of the loudest silences of his life, he sat up suddenly. 'Alright Merlin!' he shouted, leaping out of bed and lighting the candles all round the room. 'I am not going to have a manservant that is a mute. Get up now!' there was no reaction to this. 'Merlin, you are going to look at me, smile, talk to me and eat something before we have a proper nights sleep. And that is an order' there was still no sign of a response 'Merlin look at me. Look at me!' he shouted. But then Merlin did look at him, and Arthur's voice faltered and he became so quiet his words were almost unintelligible. 'M…Merlin? Oh God I'm sorry,'

Merlin sat up and looked at Arthur, but in no way he had ever looked at Arthur before. There were tears in his eyes and tracks down his cheeks, but he was somehow smiling. 'You want me to talk to you, to smile, to eat? Ha! You have no idea what I'm going through,'

'I think you're forgetting, I've lost my mother too, you are not the only one,'

Merlin jumped out of bed, 'Yes Arthur. Yes, you lost your mother, but you hadn't been in the world for even a week when your mother died. You didn't even know her. My mother has been my only friend for most of my life and she spent the end of it lonely because I wasn't there with her. You want me to talk to you,' he was getting louder and louder. Now he had found his voice there was no way of stopping it from letting all of its poison loose 'What! What do you want me to say? What is there to say? Do you want me to continue talking to you about girls and fighting and tournaments? I'm done with that! I'm doing it any more, I'm not going to fill my life with your stupid, pretentious, trivial nonsense!'

Arthur was stunned, for probably the first time in his life, he was lost for words. Merlin also seemed to have run out of steam. He sat down heavily in a chair by the dying embers of the fire; Arthur moved over to him and touched his arm. Merlin looked up and sighed, it didn't seem as if Merlin was going to let rip again.

'My mother always used to say that I was growing up fast, every time she saw me she would say I had changed, that I was becoming a man. But she was wrong. And for years I believed her; I believed that I was grown up, strong, free, and independent. But we never really grow up. While our parents are still alive we are always children; just kids who are afraid of the dark and worry about silly things and panic when something goes wrong. But when your last parent dies, well, you stop being a child…' he tailed off.

Arthur had sat down in the chair opposite Merlin, he was leaning forward and listening intently.

'You know what the worst part was? We couldn't even give her a funeral. There was no body to bury.' Silent tears were coming again now.

'I can't say that I know how you feel, but I can help. If you want?' Arthur offered.

Merlin gave a small smile. ''Thanks. I don't think I'm going to be able to sleep for at least another few days but, can I lie with you? I just want to feel someone next to me,'

Arthur was quiet for a minute; 'Is that all?' he asked, finally. 'There's nothing wrong with that,' he said, getting up and moving over to Merlin's chair. Arthur took hold of Merlin's shoulders and looked him straight in the face, and then he grinned. 'Come on, it's late. Let's get some sleep; you need to be up early in the morning.'

So Merlin blew out all of the candles and they both got into Arthur's bed, where he lay on his side and felt Arthur's chest on his back, and Arthur's hand on his arm. He still didn't sleep, but he felt much better now that he had shouted and cried and got it all out of his system. And now he could try and make himself better.