"Regina...you kissed me. If that's not crystal CLEAR, as far as intent is concerned, I don't know WHAT is!" I said, my eyes pleading as she stood on the other side of the door. She hadn't talked to me at all since the night we kissed, which was now a week ago.
"Miss Swan, how you interpreted the events that took place while I was drinking, no less, is nobody's fault but your own" My jaw dropped and my eyes were ablaze with those words.
"So, now, I was what, Regina? Taking advantage of you?!" I asked, appalled.
"No, Miss Swan, nothing of the sort. I'm just suggesting that perhaps you ought to take situations less seriously when there is alcohol involved. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a lasagna to prepare for dinner later." with that, the door was closed in my face and I was left standing there, entirely unsure of how to feel.
I decided to go to Granny's, where I knew Ruby would make me feel better.
"What's wrong with you?" she said as she came over to the table I had seated myself at.
"Can I talk to you, Rubes?" I asked, looking up at her.
"Oh, Emma, absolutely" she said, sitting down across from me "what's up?"
"I think I'm in love"
Her eyes lit up. "Oh my gosh, Emma! That's amazing! With who?! Do I know him?" I flinched at this assumption.
"Actually, yes. You do. But it's...not who you think..." her smile faded as she tried to figure it out "Is it that Hook guy?!" she said, her eyes once again lighting up. I shook my head. "Well...is...was it that Neal guy?" I sighed and again shook my head.
"Just tell me who it is, then, Emma...really, it's okay. You can tell me." she said, reaching out and putting her hand on mine.
"it's...it's Regina. I'm in love with Regina." with that, Ruby sat straight back, her hand moving from mine.
"Oh...really? Regina?! Of all people?! Regina?!" it was as if she just wasn't understanding "I mean, don't get me wrong, Em, I'm not against you liking girls. That's like whatever..it's just...her? Really?!"
"Yes, Ruby. Her. Regina Mills. The Queen. Whatever you want to call her." I said, starting to feel very frustrated with the girl I thought would be my friend in all this. I had talked to her so frequently about my problems before, but now, she was acting like just sitting near me made her uncomfortable.
"The Evil Queen, Emma. EVIL." she said, as if that made a difference.
"She's not that person anymore."
"Besides, how can you be in love with her?! You've barely spoken...there's hardly anything there to justify true 'lovey dovey' feelings...you're probably just really needing to get some."
"That's not IT, Ruby. Since when does a person have to justify or explain their love to anyone, hm?!"
"I just don't see it, Em. I wish I did. It's just not making sense to me right now. How can you just suddenly be gay? I swear, you liked dudes like a week ago."
"Maybe I shouldn't have talked to you about this..." I said, starting to get up. "Catch ya later, Ruby." I said, leaving without even looking back. Why was this so hard? Why did nothing make sense? Who the fuck thought it was their place to police my feelings and tell me what was and wasn't okay?
And why was Regina being so confusing? She'd give me some, and take it all away, then acting like I was crazy for getting my signals crossed. What the hell was going on?!
I sat at the station, trying to get my mind off everything going on around me when someone walked in.
"Can I help you?" I asked
"Ruby said I should come down here...said you wanted to see me?" said Hook, walking closer.
"Jesus Christ, no. Sorry. But no." I said throwing the papers I had been looking at on the floor in frustration.
"Sorry...I'll just go, then..." he said before leaving. I didn't even look up. Why did people think they could just entirely interfere with my love life and throw potential suitors at me?! Why couldn't my best friend, of all people, accept my feelings and not question them?
I groaned and decided to go home for the day.
Getting home, I collapsed on my bed, both emotionally and physically exhausted. I was awaked a couple hours later by a phone call. I picked it up.
"Hello?" I mumbled into the phone.
"Hi, Emma, Sweetie!" said Mary Margaret's voice on the phone.
"What's up?" I asked sitting up, still half asleep.
"Uhm...well...honey, I'm worried. Ruby called me...and she said.."
"Are you serious right now?!" I interrupted.
"I know. I told her she was totally lying. It's not like you to be so careless and...and sick." my heart dropped to my stomach.
"Goodbye, Mary Margaret." I said, hanging up before anymore could be said. I turned and clutched a pillow, feeling sobs rock my body to its core. Not only were Regina and I not going to happen, the people I thought cared about me were turning against me. Never had I ever felt so ashamed. Never had I felt so alone.
