Here we are! The first mission. Just what is it they will be called to do? Read on, true believers…(I can't believe I said that with a straight face. Oh wait, I didn't.)
Disclaimer: Do I own it? I don't think so.
For some strange reason, Colonel Fury wasn't at all convinced that Gambit's team was ready. But the Colonel was strange like that.
"I'll tell you what," Fury said finally. "If your team can figure out what the most heavily guarded item on this ship is and swipe it right out from under SHIELD's collective nose, then I'll believe you. Until then, get out of my way."
Fury nodded to two of his lackeys and they 'escorted' Gambit out of the room and shut the door behind him. The Ragin' Cajun smirked at the closed door.
"Gambit do like a challenge," he said with a devilish smirk. "Ooh, Fury, y' might've bit off more 'n y' c'n chew."
That night, the Classified team was huddled together in Gambit's quarters. Dan Swanson was also there, explaining the many things on the ship that were under heavy security. But as Remy had thought, even Dan had no idea what the most heavily guarded item on the ship was. No one did, except for two people.
One was Fury. And the other, was Remy Lebeau. Gambit had made it his top priority to find out after the good Colonel had booted him out the door. And Gambit always found out what he wanted to know.
1:15 a.m.
"Ecoutez maintenant," Gambit ordered, as he and his team sat around a large table. A map of the inside of the helicarrier was stretched out on the table. "De target is here," Remy pointed to an area on the map. "Now, dere are sensor traps here, here, here, dere next to de door, dere, all along de roof an' walls…actually, dere are cameras, sensors, and what have y' all over de whole area."
"That's a lot of security," Jubilee said, whistling lowly.
"Dat;s what makes de job fun," Gambit replied, smirking softly. "Now, here's what I need y' ta do. Jubilee, y' go to de second level an' ready de jar, jus' like we trained."
"Right, boss," Jubilee giggled.
"Morph, y' need ta keep Black Widow busy, s'il vous plait."
Morph giggled dangerously and nodded, giving Gambit a thumbs up.
Gambit turned to X-23. "We need s'me special friends, petite, right along de southern corridor."
X-23 nodded and unsheathed her claws.
"Longshot, y' need to go eat lunch," Gambit ordered.
Longshot nodded. "I like lunch," he said innocently.
"Pyro, y' job is ta go play in de water."
"Aw. You mates are no fun," Pyro moaned.
"Dan, y' stay here an' work," Remy said, looking at his watch. "Ever'body synch yo're watches, now. Psylocke an' Spyke, y' come wit' me an' I'll explain yore jobs on de way. Let's aller."
1:30 a.m.
Jubilee cautiously walked to the room with the security monitor and peeked to make sure everyone inside hadn't noticed her. She crept to a nearby room and laid down a small black mason-jar looking thing. She pushed a few buttons and a countdown appeared, and the jar started beeping.
Jubilee then jumped up and rushed to the security room. "Help!" she screamed. "There's a bomb in the engine core!"
The room was empty, except for one grinning mutant, in less than three seconds flat as the security guards scrambled to stop the bomb and save the ship. A red alert beacon started to sound.
Jubilee whistled happily and lowered her pink visor to shield her eyes. Then she took a finger and gently powered up ever so slightly, running it across all the security monitors. A small zip was her reward as the monitors shorted out. Then she quickly popped in a pre-recorded tape and the monitors started to show mutant-free halls. Then she popped in another tape and stopped the sirens.
"This has been a test of the emergency alert systems status," the tape droned over the ship's loudspeakers. "If this had been an actual emergency, orders would have followed."
This done, Jubilee brushed off her hands and turned to face several very unhappy security guards, covered in glue and confetti. One was holding an opened mason jar.
1:32 a.m.
Something was not right around here. The Black Widow could feel it in her bones. First the ship's warning sirens started to go off, then a recording that it was all a test? No, Fury didn't have tests without her knowledge. Something was terribly wrong, and she needed to warn him.
Widow turned a corner and bumped right into Fury.
"Colonel Fury," Widow saluted smartly. "Sir, did you authorize any tests of the ship's warning system?"
"What's it to ya?" Fury asked.
Widow was taken aback. "Sir, it's just that I wasn't notified—""
"What, do I have to tell you everything I'm going to do? Who's the superior officer here? Do I need to page you whenever I'm about to do something? Want me to call you up and say, 'Hey, Widow, I'm about to use the can. ETA for the payload?' Is that what you want?"
"I…no, sir, I…"
"That's what I thought," Fury huffed. "Don't forget I've been kicking butt back when your momma was wipin' yours. Now get out of my way."
"Yes…sir…" Widow conceded, stepping out of the way to let him pass.
Fury turned back to her and snapped, "And get back to your post, woman!"
"Yes, sir!" Widow saluted again and hurried back to her command.
1:34 a.m.
A nice guard was playing poker with his buddies when he thought he heard something, like a soft SHINK. He started and looked over to where the pens for the mutated animals he and his buddies were supposed to guard.
"What's with you, Bill?" One guard asked.
"I thought I heard something," Bill replied.
"Aw, you're imagining things," said another guard. "Anybody set foot in here and the sensors would set off an alarm. You should know that."
"Yeah," Bill said, laughing nervously. "Duh."
At the next second, all the alarms went off simultaneously and the guards jumped up, twirling and putting their attention on the animal's cages.
"T-they're empty!" Bill shrieked. "Somehow all the cage doors are open! The animals are running loose!"
As if to confirm his theory, at that moment a three-foot-tall ant with the head of a porcupine waddled into view, it's mandibles clicking together contentedly.
"Oh, man, we've got to get these animals back in their cages fast," Bill moaned.
1:35 a.m.
Colonel Nick Fury walked into his bathroom after a long day and sighed, stepping into his shower and turning on the hot water, allowing it to sooth his aching muscles. He was really tired right now, and a nice, relaxing rest in his bed sounded so good to him…
All of a sudden, the water suddenly got so hot that it felt as if it was literally melting his skin off. Fury yelped with the sudden burst of heat and twisted the cold water knob. Instead of a cooler, soothing stream of water, the water got twice as hot as before. Unable to take the burning heat, Fury half jumped, half stumbled out of his shower, his blinded by the water, and almost slipped on his back. Hastily drying off and tossing on his clothes haphazardly, Fury stumbled into his bedroom and his eyes widened. Silly string hand been strung about all over the place, the words, CLASSIFIED WUZ HERE was pinned to his bed using Spyke's…err…spikes, and his eye patch was not on the lamppost where he'd left it. Instead, was a playing card.
The Ace of Spades.
1:50 a.m.
Fury, brimming with the emotion of his namesake, threw open the doors to Classified's headquarters, to be met by five happy male members, wild cheers, a picture (courtesy of Morph) and the site of three females bedazzeling an eye on his eye patch.
Fury stomped up to Gambit and jabbed a finger into the mutant's face, but Gambit cut him off.
"Y' said y' wanted us ta steal de most heavily guarded item on de ship," Gambit reminded him.
Fury gaped at him for a long moment, because yes, he had told Gambit that, and he had to admit that stealing his eyepatch right under his own nose did require skill. Still…
"How'd you do it?" he asked.
"That was simple, Colonel," Dan Swanson said, pulling up some recordings of the group's 'work' and explaining the process to Fury.
"Jubilee faked a bomb emergency to get the guards out of the monitoring room, giving her time to short-circuit the monitors and put in a pre-recorded video so the guards wouldn't see Psylocke, Spyke, and Gambit going through the hallways. Then she conned her way out of trouble by making the guards think she had been sent by you to test their bomb defusing abilities and they had failed."
Jubilee held up a wad of cash. "They were more than willing to let bygones be bygones," she grinned.
Fury mentally noted that he had some security guards who needed court-marshalled, but kept silent as Dan continued to explain the process Classified had used to steal his eye patch.
"Of course, the sirens going off alerted Black Widow, but Morph changed to look like you and kept her off our track. During this time, X-23 using her claws to stay off the ground and thusly avoiding the motion sensors, freed all the animals down in the labs. The animals set off so many sensor alarms that nobody noticed a few extra alarms going off when Gambit and Co. entered your room."
Fury smirked in spite of himself. He had to admit that was pretty good.
"When you went to take your shower, Psylocke, Gambit, and Spyke each had two minutes to do their collective jobs—Gambit swiped your patch, Psylocke silly stringed your room and Spyke left our 'message.' After the two minutes were up and they'd left the room, Pyro, using a lighter he'd snuck past some guards, superheated the water pipes, causing you to jump out of your shower so you could witness our handiwork."
"Was there any particular reason you had to burn me like a boiled lobster?" Fury asked dryly.
"Actually, that was just for fun," Pyro admitted.
"I see," Fury yanked his eye patch from the girls and put it on, ignoring the half-an-eye bedazzled on it. "First, you're all going to be confined to the brig for two weeks for this little stunt."
Everyone moaned loudly and Fury smirked.
"Afterwards," he continued, "I'll brief you on your first official mission."
