The small Winchester family sits in silence at the orange, circular dinner table inside their small motel room. John and Dean had gone to pick up some food from a crappy diner.
Sam, staring down at his food, pushes his salad around inside the styrofoam box. The lettuce is soggy and the tomatoes taste sour. Under the watchful eye of his father, Sam had taken two horrid mouthfuls earlier. His stomach lurched every time at the though of taking another. He wasn't hungry. Even though he had not eaten all day, he felt nothing. No emotion. Except for one. Satisfaction. He cold feel the burning need radiating from the tight bulge in sock. The satisfaction was fading quickly though. He needed to cut again. To feel the amazing sensation he had felt as he watched the blood pour from his arm. Just being in his father's presence made every bad emotion that had faded when he cut, slowly begin to seep through.
His father clearing his throat pull Sam from his thought. "Finish you food, Sam."
"I'm full, sir," Sam states, still forking his food around. He hopes adding "sir" will make his father respectfully leave him alone.
"I didn't buy you dinner so you could stare at it," Johns sighed, "Just put it in the fridge and finish it later." he motions to the mini fridge next to th dinner table.
Thank god. Sam smiles inwardly, glad to get up and walk away from the awkward dinner. Putting his non-edible food in the fridge, Sam strides toward his and Dean's bed with the intent of watching crappy tv for a while and then falling asleep.
Sam is halfway to fully sitting down on the bed, "Sam?" John asks, causing Sam stop and stand up, turning to face his father. "Have you learnt that exorcism yet?"
John is careful to keep his words calm. The last thing he needs is Sam insolently rolling his yes and making a snide comment towards him. He glances up from his food to see Sam irritably push his bangs out of his face.
"I'll do it tomorrow. I'm really tired," Sam said, blatantly disregarding what John knew the kid recognized as an order.
"Do it now," John ordered shortly, glaring at his youngest son.
Sam let out an exhale through clenched teeth that raised the hairs on the back of John's neck.
"I said I will do it tomorrow," Sam said stubbornly.
As Sam spoke, Dean looked up at the conversation he had been awkwardly trying to stay out of the middle of. He sent Sam a questioning look. Using his eyes, he attempts to beg Sam to just let it go and do as his father asks.
Sam ignored his brother's pleading eyes and kept hard eye contact with his father.
"I told you to learn that exorcism. You had all day in the car to do it," John said, through his own clenched teeth. I was taking everything Joh had to keep himself calm. If Sam though he was ging to win this fight, he was in for a huge wake up call.
Sam ignored his father words and shrug dismissively.
And that's when John Winchester lost it.
John was even sure of his plan when he was suddenly in Sam's face, his own bright red. He slammed Sam so hard against the wall that his son lost all his breath and began to slump to the floor.
Dean jumped up from his chair. "Dad! Stop!"
Ignoring Dean's protest, John grabbed a handful of Sam's collar to keep him upright. Shoving Sam once again against the wall, he lifts Sam up, so that his feet are barely hanging off the floor.
"Don't you ever talk to me like that again!" John screamed, speckles of spit hitting Sam's face. "You have no god damn respect for this family! Who the hell do you think you are?!"
"Dad! Let me go!" Sam yelled, staring in shock at his father. He was horrified, upset. Then he just got downright mad. He had tried so hard to satisfy his father. It didn't fucking matter. Nothing he did was good enough for him! "I hate you! I fucking hate you!"
One second Sam was staring in horror as he saw his father's arm pull back and create a fist with his hand. Sam barely heard Dean yell, "No Dad!". The next second his father's hard fist connected with the side of his face. In shock, Sam slumped to the floor, being released from John's death grip.
He felt the blood oozing from he badly busted lip and dripping down his chin. He could feel his cheek already forming into a tight swell.
John stared down at his son. His anger fading quickly when he saw Sam curling up on the floor. Hurt and bleeding. Because of him. Oh god what have I done, he thought.
"Sam. I-.." But John stopped dead cold when Sam looked up allowing John to see the full damage he had done. Emotionally and physically.
Dean stared in a horrible shock, glancing in between John and his poor baby brother. He wanted to scream so badly at his father for hurting his baby. But he couldn't bring himself to move. He could not believe his father had just hit Sam. And it kills him that he doesn't know what the fuck to do about it.
Dean suddenly noticed Sam was shaking all over- whether from reaction, shock or pent-up emotion- and when Sam moved his head, Dean saw a tear glistening in his eye.
Sam stumbled to get up from his place on the floor. Once standing he used his sleeve to wipe away some of the blood on his chin.
John silently moved out of the way as Sam stumbled past him.
"Sam. Are you ok?" Dean asked, and immediately regretted it. Of course Sammy wasn't ok.
Sam refused to make eye contact and flinched when Dean attempted to put a comforting hand on his shoulder.
"Sam please let me help," Dean pleaded. Sam gave Dean a look he will never forget. Filled with hurt and shock. Sam gently shoved Dean back and continued his trek towards the bathroom.
Knowing what he had to do, Sam left Dean and his father standing in silence.
