Still Figuring Out
Wow! The response to my last chapter literally blew me away, thank you so much! I wish I could reply to each of you individually, but I bet you'd rather have me writing more :)
I do, however, have to say that I did a little (big) squee at one point, one of my favourite authors is actually reading this! :D Eeeeeeh *dance*
Once again, the nickname is thanks to soulspirit18 from the first time around :)
I'm spoiling you guys! Another chapter so quickly! :) I'm starting Chapter 4 too, as soon as this is uploaded. :)
Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight. I do, however, own a sexy new mirror front for my iPod touch.
But damn, I'm going to have to get a cold shower now!
Chapter 3 – Downloading Porn With Davo
I knew I should go, turn around, head straight for the cold shower that seemed to be calling my name. I couldn't make myself move. I was frozen to the spot, unable to move even a millimeter.
I held my hand against the door gently, barely touching it, teasing it open slightly to look at her. My gaze driften up and down her rigid body, where she was obviously still trying to stop herself from relaxing into whatever it was Emmett had her doing, even though I couldn't see him anywhere. Her hands were covering her eyes, but as I watched, her fingers spread slightly, leaving just enough room to watch... porn. Emmett. I instantly realised why I had seen him with Bella. Everything seemed to fall into place; the giggling, the hiding, the lust. It was Emmett who had put this plan into action, there was no doubt in my mind about that. But a part of me was so very glad that he had done it.
I could feel her heart rate picking up, thumping in her chest. Every part of me ached to give away my hiding spot and go into the room, get closer to her in order to caress her skin – and that's when she turned her head and looked at me. I watched as her hands dropped from her face to her lap, her cheeks turning an incredible pink, the blood rushing to her face, matching the impossible speeds her heart seemed to be reaching.
"J-Jasper!" She breathed quietly, so much so that if I were human I would have had to strain to hear her. I had forgotten to hold my breath, completely distracted by the sight in front of me, and my mouth opened slightly as her scent washed over my senses. My thoughts were a mess, jumbled and incoherent as I fumbled for a response, racking my brains for something that would be deemed appropriate in such a situation. "I... Emmett... He-" She broke off, and I felt her embarrassment grow as I remained silent. Finally, I gathered myself enough to respond to her still shocked pink face.
"It's fine. I guessed," I glanced across as the screen, and rolled my eyes a little as I watched the DVD. Lesbian porn, so Emmett, so typically Emmett. I felt my legs taking me forward before my mind caught up with what I was actually doing. I found myself sitting beside her a moment later, peering at her face awkwardly, unsure as to how I should continue – if I had a beating heart, I know it would be going so fast that it would be bursting from my chest.
Bella looked at me intently, trying to make sense of my actions. I could see the cogs working in her head, the porn was forgotten, for now. I could feel her confusion, stronger than her other emotions, but as she watched me, her lust rose slightly. I could almost feel her trying to push it down, hide it away, but her efforts were in vain. I felt it. I knew I felt it. I glanced back at the screen for a second, then back to Bella. She was still watching me, but her gaze had dropped to my chest. I lifted her chin up using one finger, and as she looked into my eyes her lust increased.
Take it slow, Jasper. Don't fuck it up. I had to keep telling myself, she's not ready for it.
She leaned forward, still keeping her eyes locked onto mine. I stayed stone still, not wanting to rush her, or do anything to fuck it all up. It seemed to take an eternity, her moving her head slowly, so very slowly, forward, but I felt her warm breath tickling my lips, as her lips gently brushed my own. Barely there, but there was no denying the fire left behind from her touch.
Don't push it.
She moved on the bed so that she had one leg on either side of me, still looking deep into my eyes.
Don't push it.
I leaned up and kissed her gently, before moving my head back to look at her again. She watched me cautiously for a minute, then crashed he lips down into mine, her hands going to either side of my face.
Don't push it.
I wound one arm around her waist, the other began playing with the soft curls of her hair. She started gently grinding onto me in time with our kisses, trying to gain the friction I could tell she so desperately needed. She moaned quietly into my mouth. Her hands moved to my lower back, tugging on my shirt to get it off, so I obliged and pulled the shirt off myself. I stilled my movements, waiting for the disgust to show through her emotions as she took in my chest, her sharp intake of breath seemed to echo in the bedroom. I kept my eyes fixed to the floor.
"Jasper? What- What happened to you?" Her quiet voice cut through the tension in the room like a knife. Shit. I forgot. Fuckward won't have told her. He was always trying to 'protect' her from us. Great job he did.
"Uh... It's a long story darlin', and not the nicest, either." I replied, refusing to tear my eyes away from the stop of the floor that would no doubt burn within moments from the strength of my gaze.
"I have time." She told me, moving her hand beneath my face to try lifting it up. I simply let her, and was once again looking into the eyes of the beautiful woman in front of me. I sighed, and nodded. She stood up and took a seat next to me.
"Jazzy? Bells? Are you guys done? I want my DVD back." Emmett whined through the door. Bella rolled her eyes in the direction of the door.
"We can talk about this later darlin', probably best to wait until Emmett goes hunting anyway, you know what he's like." I said, smiling gently.
She nodded and kissed me, before standing up and walking towards the door.
"Bellsy? Hurry up! Rosalie will kill me if she knows I gave you that DVD. I quite like my balls being where they are." He whined again.
She bent over slightly to get the DVD out of the player, before opening the door and giving it to Emmett.
"C'mon cupcake, hungry human here. We can't do any talking on an empty stomach." She smiled at me, and walked out of the room. I laughed to myself, then followed her, closing the door after me.
After Bella had a cheese sandwich, we got comfortable sat on one of the sofas in the living room. The tv was on, but both of us knew that it was just a distraction until we got the nerve to get this talk over and done with. I had my arm slung over her shoulders as she leaned into me, her legs curled up underneath her.
"Isabella-"
"Jasper-"
We both started at the same time. The blood pooled in her face once again, as I chuckled. "You can start, darlin'" I smiled at her encouragingly.
"How- Why- What happened to you, Jasper?" She asked, the colour in her cheeks increasing at her question.
"I'm a lot older than the other Cullens, Isabella. I've seen a lot more than them. I've been through more than them – Hell, more than they could probably even imagine." I started. This was going to be one hell of a difficult conversation – one that would determine whether she stuck with me, or run for the hills. That seemed the easiest way of starting off, be gentle. "I was born in 1843 in Texas. I was the youngest major in the Confederate Army; My parents were so proud; Major Jasper Whitlock." I went into a daydream about my human life. I don't remember much of it, but I can recollect little bits. The first day I found out I had been pormoted to Major.
We got the letter through on a Tuesday, the delivery man actually knocked on the door to hand it to us personally, because the envelope it was in had the Confederate Army seal on it, so he must have known it was important.
"Mister Jasper Whitlock, special delivery" He said, as he handed the letter over to me. I thanked him, and he smiled, nodded, tipped his hat, and left.
My mother, father, and younger sister all gathered around in the kitchen to hear the contents of the letter.
'Jasper Whitlock,
Your past year of service in the Confederate Army has proven to us how much of a hard working, loyal, committed young man you are. It is because of this, that it is our greatest pleasure to inform you that you have been promoted from Captain, to Major.
We are fully aware that you understand the great responsibility this entails, and are confident that you will succeed and shine to the best of your ability.
We look forward to seeing you after your leave is over.
General Beauregard.'
My mother hugged my, my father shook my hand, both of whom had large smiles. I picked up my little sister, Cynthia, and spun her round. We were all smiling, laughing, enjoying my promotion.
My memory ended, and I was left still sat on the sofa, a small smile on my face, looking at Isabella.
"A short while after I went back to the army after leave, I came across three women. I was out on my horse patrolling. Being the gentleman I was, and of course being a major, I was inclined to help them. It just so happened, that these 'innocent women', as they seemed, were vampires. It was Maria who turned me. She turned me so I could join the army she was creating. The other two women that were there were destroyed during my time in the army. Lucy and Nettie. Vile women. Not as awful as Maria, of course, but barely. I met Peter and Charlotte in the army. I was ordered to turn them, and no matter how hard I tried to deny it, I became close to Peter. I had isolated myself off from others, only interacting to give orders, and kill. But when Peter came along, he tried to show me that I didn't have to stay, I could escape. I didn't have the guts. I helped them to escape, but it was still a while before I left. After a few years, they returned, telling me there was a way vampires could coexist. I left with them. Another few years later, I left them. I met Alice in a diner in Philadelphia. We searched out the Cullens, with Alice's foresight as help, and we learned a new way of life, living only on the blood of animals. The rest, I believe you know." I finished quietly. I had tried to rush it out, so she could make her decision quickly. A clean break. She could run if she wanted. Just as I did with Peter and Charlotte, I would let her go.
What she did next shocked me more than anything had since, well, since she accepted us so easily when we met her. I felt pride coming from her, and he hand came up to gently stroke my cheek. I looked up at her, my eyes wide.
"Isabella?" I asked, cautiously. "How- I- I'm a killer, Isabella. Doesn't that scare you?"
"No." She answered simply, her hand never leaving my cheek.
"It should." I told her.
"You went through so much, Jasper. But you're here. You got through it all, and you're stronger because of it." She said confidently. She leaned forwards and kissed me, and I felt her pushing forward her passion and pride for me. I was constantly shocked by this girl, everything she did seemed to surprise me. But I was so happy that she wasn't running to the next state, I smiled into her kiss, before I pulled back, leaned my forehead on hers, and tried to break the tense mood that had built during the story of my past.
"You're amazing." I told her, kissing the tip of her nose and grinning. She blushed, which only caused my smile to widen.
Emmett burst into the room, ending the tension, as I had attempted to, and held a DVD box in his hands.
"School of Rock, minions?" He grinned, practically bouncing up and down. Bella and I laughed at his enthusiasm, and nodded.
As we watched the movie – Bella snuggled into my side, her feet resting on Emmett's lap – I thought about everything that had happened recently. I had thoroughly expected Bella to withdraw again, as she had last time she and Edward broke up, but she surprised me. It had been easier, maybe because she knew that she could survive without him, and maybe because she knew she was better off without him. Whichever; I'm just glad she's not broken as we had expected, and is trying to pull through without him. What's that song Emmett used to sing? Things, can only get better.
Reviews = love :)
