Disclaimer: I do not own iZombie. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Peyton was stood outside her old apartment two weeks later, the one she had shared with her once best friend and ran out of twice, trying to work up the courage to knock. It used to be so easy, she wouldn't think twice about knocking or using her own key, but now she was just standing there and staring like some kind of... well, she didn't want to finish that thought. But she had been feeling sorry for herself for long enough. It was finally time to face the music. Hopefully get back her friend, or at the very least give Liv the apology she deserved. Although it might be easier if the door was answered by Liv in 'full zombie mode' as Liv apparently called it, as a gruesome death seemed preferable to the extremely awkward conversation Peyton had been dreading for years.

When she finally worked up the courage to knock Liv answered almost immediately, putting Peyton off for a second, but she quickly recovered with a very intelligent, "Hey..."

"Hey." Liv softly parroted.

There was a long pause and then Peyton softly asked, "I know I have no right to ask this, but... can we talk?"

"Of course." Liv said moving aside, "Come in."

That was a good sign, Peyton thought. She'd half expected Liv to not even open the door, let alone let her inside. Or not without serious grovelling first. Then again, it wasn't like Liv hadn't been keeping a massive secret from Peyton, so in a way they were now even. Or at least Peyton was certainly going to argue that. Of course, as she stepped across the threshold she briefly wondered whether she was being lied to and the second the door was closed she would be left alone with the undead monster that had taken her friend from her and the mindless creature which had taken over her body would give her an arguably worse fate.

Suddenly Peyton was awoken from her thoughts as a redhead gave her a fake looking smile as part of a greeting, "Hey... you're back."

Peyton then glared at the redhead, "Hey."

"Peyton, you remember my roommate Gilda." Liv said after a few long seconds of silence, then after a few more added, "We're going to talk in my room."

As she said that Liv reached out and took Peyton's hand in hers. Peyton knew she meant it out of friendship, but it made her feel weird under the circumstances. Not that she mentioned that. No she simply followed Liv into her bedroom, glancing back at Gilda a few times to find that the redhead was watching them like a hawk, a smug smile slowly crossing her stupid face. Peyton had only been in the same room as Gilda for a few minutes in total, the redhead having disappeared into what used to be her room the last time she was here, and they barely had said two words to each other. But still, she got a bad vibe off of this girl. Worse than some of the criminal she had met.

"If you're going to have sex or do drugs, I want in." Gilda called out just as they were about to close the bedroom door behind them, causing both their eyes to go wide.

"She's joking." Liv said quickly after she'd slammed the door closed, then in a much softer tone added, "I didn't tell her anything. I wouldn't. Ever."

"I know that." Peyton grumbled, "But I don't trust her Liv. Something is off about her. Just, just be careful around her, okay?"

"I'll bear that in mind." Liv said softly, then after a long pause, "Soooooo, you wanted to talk?"

"Yeah, look... erm..." Peyton mumbled as she gently guided Liv to sit down on her bed while she grabbed a chair to sit in front of her, "Every good relationship, I mean friendship... is built on communication. So we're basically both at fault here, although about two very different things, and while I was away I got plenty of time to think, and when I wasn't freaking out about the idea of you being... well, not you, I was thinking about things from your perspective. And I totally get it. All the lies and half-truths. Because I've been doing the same thing myself for years. At least you were doing it to try and protect me."

Liv frowned and asked, "So... you're gay?"

"Oh God no." Peyton exclaimed with a laugh, "No. No, no, no, it's not like that."

"So that kiss was just a mistake?" Liv frowned again.

"Not exactly." Peyton admitted after a brief pause, and then when Liv gave her a look she told her, "It's a long and clichéd story."

Liv shrugged, "I've got nowhere to be."

Peyton sighed, then after another pause began, "I always had this plan for my life. Part of that was getting my wild phase over and done with in college. Nothing too scandalous, just the usual. You know, partying, drinking, doing drugs-

"And experimentation. Yeah, I remember." Liv interrupted, "But your lesbian phase was a total bust. You couldn't go through with it."

"Yeah, because she wasn't you." Peyton confessed, and then after a pause added, "Look, the plan was to always hook up with my roommate. Someone I knew I could trust, but not necessarily something that has to turn into anything, and if it gets too weird I can just fall out of touch with them. But then I met you and I... I just couldn't risk losing you. So I tried to do it with some random chick, but by then my stupid body had decided it was you or no one, and since you've always been super straight I just repressed those feelings until eventually I got over you. By the time you met Major I was a hundred percent over you, and I was so, so happy for you. Even when you broke up with him it felt like only a matter of time before you two got back together, so I stomped out that tiny voice in my head that wanted me to take advantage of you in your vulnerable state. Then you died."

"I didn't-" Liv started, although she wasn't sure she believed it. Being a zombie was confusing.

"I know." Peyton interrupted firmly, "I know that now, but for months I didn't. And when I didn't those old feelings I had for you just came rushing back, and I just couldn't stop thinking about how I never told you just how amazing I thought you were. How truly beautiful, inside and out. And that you're the only girl I would ever want to be with that way, because you aren't just another girl to me. You're Liv. Then the moment I truly believed you were still you I was so overwhelmed with relief and happiness that I made the biggest mistake of my life, and I am so, so sorry Liv. And I'm sorry I ran out on you the first time too. Turns out fight or flight is a real thing, and I was so scared and devastated I just didn't even think about giving you a chance. But I want too now, if you're willing to give me one."

There was a long pause and then Liv said, "Wow. Wow, I... erm, thanks, I guess. Sooooo, you really just want to be friends?"

"Absolutely." Peyton said forcefully.

"You don't think it will be a bit weird, after... you know?" Liv asked.

"At first, definitely. But adjusting to your situation also factors into that, and not living together takes a lot of the pressure off." Peyton said, "We can take it one day at a time, and I promise I'll understand if you need some space now, or at any point. But I want us to get back to where we were before. Because I love being your friend Liv, and I really want you in my life."

"Me too." Liv smiled softly, then after another long pause she decided she just had to ask, "So, you're over me? This? Whatever?"

Peyton opened her mouth to say yes. She had planned too, as it made things easier. But it only made things easier if it was true, and Peyton didn't want to rebuild their friendship on a lie. No, not when they had lost so much time together, and Peyton had gone through that hell of thinking Liv was dead. As in dead-dead. Whatever. The point was she was realising lying would be bad right now, and she had wasted way too much time for it to feel natural, so even though it physically hurt she forced herself to admit the truth, closing her eyes and sighing briefly before she did so.

"I'm working on it. But I got over you once, I'll do it again." Peyton said, and then when her friend looked unsure she followed up with, "Seriously Liv, I don't want to lose what we have over some overblown girl crush. I'm straight, you're straight, can we please just move on and pretend like nothing happened? And please, please, please can we never tell our guy friends about this? You know how they'd react."

"Yeah..." Liv laughed, desperately avoiding the urge to mock how they would probably react. It was way too early to joke about this in any way.

"So, we good?" Peyton asked cautiously.

"Yeah." Liv repeated, quickly adding with a smile, "We good."

"Great." Peyton beamed, "So... Zombie, huh? I have so many questions."

Things weren't good. Liv tried, and she could tell Peyton did too, and there were moments when it felt like old times. But too often they slipped into silences which unlike before were awkward and filled with tension. Liv hated it, but she told herself that eventually things would go back to normal. That maybe they would even laugh about this awkward time in their lives when they were both married, and Liv was human again. Then on an extremely slow week for the morgue she ate a brain that was from someone who had definitely committed suicide, Liv telling herself and Ravi that it was just to make sure. Then she started getting unusual visions...