A short but significant chapter... as usual please review!

-H


Finders Keepers

"It wasn't signed," I whispered. I had taken the album and the note home and was discussing them quietly with Iggy once everyone else was in bed, asleep.
He was quiet which made me uneasy, but he had already asked a lot of questions about the different photographs and the arrival of the album, so I presumed he was deep in thought. To leave him to mull it over I made to stand up and find myself a pudding cup from the fridge to calm my nerves. If I kept comfort eating like I did and didn't stop with the 8oz steaks nearly every night at the Tavern when the fight arrived I would be too heavy to get myself off the ground. But before I could pull myself off the sofa Ig's hand came down on my forearm and he pulled me back against the cushions. "Tell me again," he said, an almost angry look on his face.
I frowned in confusion, "Tell you what?"
"What those guys said in the coffee shop."
I repeated to him the entire conversation word-for-word just like I had done before, and the intensity on his face only increased, "Iggy what's wrong?"
"I think he sent it. Sent them."
I was stunned. We didn't talk about Fang much, it was a general rule, but I didn't have to ask who Iggy was talking about. "What makes you think that?" I asked very quietly, "Those guys told me he was in danger."
"Which is exactly what you would need to hear for you to get back in the game, Max, and that's what he will want and be counting on, anyone else would just threaten you or would have taken you straight from the shop rather than leaving this book." I was silent while I thought it through. He had a point that in the past I would have been snatched by force from the coffee shop or on my way to work. I also noticed that he wasn't using Fang's name.
I looked at him properly, trying to read the emotion in his sightless eyes. "I'm not going running back just because of Fang," I said deliberately. "I'm not going anywhere Ig."
I thought this might take the edge off whatever it was he was feeling, and for a moment his expression did soften but I didn't relax because he said, "Max this is just another example of the kind of conversation we had the other night, about you not dating. You still have feelings for Fang, and just because you're resisting him now, doesn't mean you're going to be able to forever." I was beyond speechless. "And if I'm right about him sending the album, then he wants you back too, and that will only make it harder Max, I'm sorry."
He got up and headed in the direction of his bedroom but I stood up and called after him. This may seem sudden to many of you, but for me my relationship with Iggy has been something I've thought about a lot over the last four years. The nature of it changed when Fang left. There was nothing instantly romantic between us, I was too broken for that, but I came to rely on him in ways I hadn't done before, and now he knew me better than I did myself. Maybe even better than Fang, because I had changed, just like Angel had said in the Tavern, not just in looks but in personality too. And now it dawned on me what was bothering Iggy, and what was staring me in the face and I found I wasn't reacting to it in the way I thought I might if confronted by it before.
As I changed and grew I learned to be more sensitive to the emotions that had scared me before, if I hadn't then Iggy's words and actions would have left me non-plussed. But I understood perfectly. Not really knowing what the hell I was doing or what I was going to say, I made myself go to him and touch his arm.
"Fang isn't good enough for you anymore, Max," he said. "Just like Jack isn't good enough."
"You're right," I told him and I saw the surprise skid across his face. In that moment I knew I didn't want to rush a thing. I had too much to figure out about what might be coming for us for things to get potentially messy with Ig, but I wanted him to know I wasn't blind to how he felt. His voice came back to me from the conversation we had about dating, 'Who am I going to find?' he had said. I reached up on my tiptoes –because he really had outgrown us all- and kissed his cheek lightly. I heard his breath catch and smiled to myself, "Thanks for having my back. Don't mention the album to the others right now, we'll figure it out before we get them upset and frightened."
At first I thought he was at a loss for words, but then he coughed slightly and said, "They might want to go back too, Max."
"They can make that choice if it comes to it," I said smoothly, hiding the panic I felt at the thought of losing more of my flock. "But we've made a life for ourselves, Ig, and it wasn't Fang, or Dylan or Jeb or anyone else that did it. It was you and me and we've been safe for three years when before we couldn't even be safe for a day." He flushed, clearly realising that I'd figured him out. "And I'm not ready for that safety to shatter just yet. So we'll fight it."
The smile that tugged on the corner of his mouth made me smile, "Night Max."
I made sure that our shoulders brushed as I moved away from him towards the kitchen. I wasn't ready to lie down and pretend to sleep just yet. I heard his door close and sighed, I had almost lost everything by getting in too deep with my best friend once, was it crazy to be risking it all again? I sat on a stool at the breakfast bar and thought about the struggle we'd gone through in setting ourselves up here, getting out of America alive and knew I couldn't have done it without the flock, especially not without Iggy. Oh Fang, I thought with a tinge of sadness, this could have been us. We could have made it if you hadn't left. And if I'm going to take a risk, I'd rather risk my heart which has already been broken, than our new safety that I don't think I could bear to live without. You might just be on your own.