Disclaimer: I am neither Nick nor Dan. I have no rights to the characters, plot similarities, concepts, etc. related to iCarly. I am just a fan writing it in little relation to the actual events occurring within the actual show. Thank You :)

Note: I hope these chapters aren't too long for you. As I said before, I try to make each chapter stand by itself so that if reviews ever stop coming in I am not obligated to continue. This should be motivation to drop a review if you want the story to continue ;)

Note 2: Things do get a little 'steamy' in one section of this piece. I will probably bump the rating up to teen (if thats not the rating already) for mildly sexual content. Feel free to stop reading if this makes you uncomfortable. I hope you enjoy it!


Freddie had never once been inside of Sam's house. He didn't go very far in, so he couldn't see the entire layout. He saw a hallway next to the stairs and an open doorway, but once upstairs there was only two doors. One was open and led to the bathroom. The other was Sam's room. He watched her hand touch the knob and twist it to expose her room. To expose who she was entirely.

The walls were painted blue with a dark blue wooden trip where the walls met the floor and ceiling. The bedspread was blue; the nightstand was blue, and even her desk in the corner with a hand-me-down Pear Desktop, which Sam claimed was from Melanie. Freddie was shocked at how normal it was. There wasn't a television in her room like there was in Carly's. Instead there was a stereo on the side table. There was a lamp standing next to the other side of her bed with was white in contrast to her black bed-frame. There weren't any books other than the ones sticking out of her backpack in the corner nearest her closet door, which was closed.

Sam welcomed Freddie to sit with her on her bed. She must have felt very uncomfortable because she pulled a pillow from behind her and placed it over her stomach. Freddie motioned towards the door to which Sam nodded. He slowly closed it before sitting Indian style across from Sam. No words came out right away and they filled the seconds by staring into each others eyes.

There was a lot to be considered, Freddie was very aware of that. The web show would probably be affected. Their friendships with each other would be affected. Their friendships with Carly would be shifted. Their parents would surely be unhappy with the decision they make, assuming they make the one they both want.

"Freddie. I know that you want more from me and that you want to understand why I kissed you. And why I've chosen to let you be with Carly. It's all about logic with you but this isn't logical. If it was, I wouldn't be in love with a dork." She had shifted her focus to the pillow tip that she was twisting in her fingers. Freddie want those fingers to be on his hands. He wanted her eyes on him.

"I do want to know those things but I don't care what you say. Clearly, otherwise I wouldn't be here. All I want to do is talk about us and what is going on with you and me. Nobody else matters right now. Once we figure out what we want we can talk about other people, but not about how they feel about us. We will discuss what we're going to do about it." Freddie wasn't speaking as if there were the possibility that they wouldn't become a couple. He realized he was underestimating Sam's ability to make her own decisions, but not because he thought she was weak. He had thought she would take exactly what she wanted.

"There's not a whole lot going on here, Freddie. I kissed you. You are confused. I keep saying forget about it. You keep being confused. It's sort of a cycle." Sam still wasn't looking exactly at him and she was now pulling feathers from her pillow. Freddie always wanted to lay on a feathered pillow. His mother never allowed them because they "might poke through the fabric and put holes in your eyes, AAAAH." She went as far as calling hotels and making sure Freddie's rooms didn't have feather pillows. It was excruciatingly embarrassing.

"You kissed me. Why? Because you like me, yes? I am confused because you have always said you hate me. I am here trying to figure it you because I want to know if I have a chance of it going further than one kiss." If it wasn't entirely obvious then Freddie may as well write it down and put the paper in front of Sam's face. He liked her. He could even love her in the future, near future if everything went smoothly. She didn't have to pretend anymore. Freddie wouldn't let her pretend.

"I kissed you because I like you. I told you earlier, I've liked you since the first kiss chiz we started after you cuffed me to the Giiiiiibyyyyy. You're the only person who doesn't judge me. Sure you hate me and …." Freddie stopped listening at 'hate' and took things into his own hands. He didn't hate Sam and if she didn't know it…well then it was his obligation to prove her wrong.

Freddie leaned across the gap between them. One hand was on the mattress keeping him balance and the other was on the back of Sam's head holding her close as he kissed her passionately. It was unlike the kiss she had surprised him with at the school lock-in. This time he was kissing her. He was taking charge of the situation, and she was kissing him back. It was so slow and deliberate. With each passing second there was a certain heat building and intensifying.

When Sam pulled her lips away from Freddie's he followed her for just a second hoping for more, almost as though he needed more. His heart was racing and his body tingling. Nothing felt more right than that moment in her room, on her bed. Freddie couldn't imagine wanting to be with anyone else as much as he wanted to be with Sam.

"Freddie." Sam spoke with a half-whisper half-sigh sort of tone. Instead of further elaborating on her thought she put her pillow back in place and lay down on her bed. Assuming that it couldn't do any harm, Freddie did the same in the spot right next to her. He even went as far as taking her left hand in his right. She wiggled a little closer to him and tilted her head so that it touched her shoulder. He only just noticed that the only window in her room was open and you could hear the sounds of the busy street. Together they listened to the city instead of discussing their predicament. Although, Freddie hoped that the new kiss, the better kiss, was a sure sign of how things would go.

It must have been ten or fifteen minutes before Freddie's phone binged. It was probably his mom wondering where it was he went. He took his hand from Sam's, checked the ID to make sure he was right, and when he was he turned it off and tossed on the floor next to the bed. Sam was quick to do the same.

"You know this can't last forever. Nothing this perfect does." Her eyes were closed and she was cuddling up next to him, fully engulfing his arm in a strange sort of hug. If Freddie could make time stop he would do it right here. She looked so vulnerable and sweet. Nobody would ever be so precious as same was, nobody, nobody, nobody! He hated hearing her resist was he thought was inevitable.

"It can. That's why it's perfect. We could do this tomorrow, and the day after. We could do it forever and ever if we wanted." He looked at her flat ceiling hoping that a message would show up somewhere telling him what to do to make Sam see that he wanted this. To make her realize that she could have it, and that being selfish was okay in some situations. This was absolutely one of those times in life where you do what you want.

"Carly would never approve. I may be a bully but I'm not that cold. I hold my friendship with Carly in the highest place where nothing else can touch it because it's been the only constant thing in my life. She might not always see that she hurts my feelings or anything but she loves me. That's all I want is to be loved and I know Carly can give that to me. Not in a romantic way, of course. She's like the sister I wanted and didn't get." Freddie was again lingering on one fraction of what she said. All Sam wanted was to be loved by someone. Carly loved Sam but not as if she were a sister, Freddie couldn't agree on that, but rather as a daughter; and Freddie couldn't blame Carly on that detail. She was the one raising Spencer, really, and it was almost as though it came naturally to her. It didn't make her sinister behavior alright but it made it somewhat understandable. It didn't change his opinion about her, though. She would never be the same Carly that he used to think she was.

"Sam…I can love you. You've just got to let me." He hummed the words innocently and effortlessly in her direction. At the exact same moment they shifted their positions to look at one another and to process the magnitude of what Freddie was saying. Freddie was basically asking Sam if they could be a steady couple, a dating couple. Sam definitely wanted that and there was no denying it. It was really just a matter of whether she would accept it.

"I…I…I…" She could not get a word to form on her lips. It was as though she were paralyzed by contemplation. There was so much tension, though, that neither of them could really move. The possibility of a relationship was hanging on the top of her tongue alike an ornament on a Christmas tree. Freddie breathed very slowly and with caution. Now it was his heart on the line, it was his emotions that were an open book. He wouldn't have anyone else read them. No, he wouldn't want it any other way.

She didn't ever get the words out. Instead she brought herself level with Freddie and quivered as she once again kissed him. It seemed as though kissing was the only thing to clear the fog in their minds. It was the only way to remind them that in the end that they will be the only two who matter. Friends come and go, and families mend over time. If there was collateral damage at the end of this entire thing it would still be Sam and Freddie standing together in the brush.

This kiss lasted longer. It even went a little farther. Somewhere Sam ended up lying over Freddie with her hands on his cheeks and his hands around her waist. Kisses would race over their lips for short spurs then they would slow down, pull each other closer and then speed up again. The line between kissing each other because they liked each other so much and kissing each other because a sexual tension was arising were beginning to blur. Luckily they both were able to see that, as they slowed to a stop and parted. They were teenagers and eventually these sorts of emotions were going to arise. It wasn't as though they didn't know that kissing leads to .. well .. sex. They see pregnant teenagers around town quite often. They knew it happened. It was good that they were able to avoid anything further.

"I would not change any of this. I love where we are. I don't want this to stop. I know that you want Carly to keep being the constant in your life but I've been there too. I want to keep being there. I'll even say that I want to be the most important person to you. If you can't see that now, then please tell me what I'll have to do. I will do anything, Sam." He was basically pleading for her to be with him. That's all they were supposed to be considering: a relationship between them. It was obvious that they had chemistry. Maybe they didn't need to necessarily talk about the physical distinctions, as that would probably be awkward and embarrassing to talk about just yet, but the emotional aspect of it was very strong.

"I don't know. This is what I want. It's everything I've been dreaming it would be for, like, that last year. I just don't know if it will be a good decision, you know. We've got fans of iCarly that we have to put first. I've got Carly and right now she is more likely to stay by my side. I just can't make a decision that is going to hurt so many people. I'll take the damage of two broken hearts, but not a million and one. Not for just us. That isn't fair." Since when had Sam ever tried to be fair? Freddie knew the question was ridiculous, as she had been trying to be fair for years. She always let Carly step ahead of her because she thought Carly deserved it. She would do anything to make sure Carly got the longest stick of the bunch. She certainly was trying to be fair but only if it involved Carly. As Freddie kept reminded himself, and even Sam, this was. Not. About. Carly.

"Samantha Puckett! This isn't about Carly! If she's a true a friend as you say then she will happy for you and she'll be happy for me! She will be happy for us! Together! As a couple! I can't imagine that a good friend would hate her two best friends for falling in love. That's not what friends do! You have spent years trying to make sure Carly is happy but you've sacrificed your own. Carly isn't stupid and I would like think she would return the favor. How is it you can't just say you want to be with me as much as I want to be with you and then…oh this is crazy…TAKE IT!" Sam had moved from the bed to the floor, as did Freddie. Both of them were pacing on opposite sides of the bed. Sam was more detached than Freddie was, as his arms flailed and flopped as he tried to make his point. This wasn't just about a cute intern, concert tickets, or a school transfer. This wasn't going to just fly by then like a silly incident they could laugh at later in life. This would be that moment where if you didn't do it…you'd wish that you had. Freddie knew this. He could see that Sam knew it too. They just needed to stop making it so much more complicated than it needed to be.

"I love you. I love you much more than I could ever comprehend or express." Freddie could not believe his ears. Sam was saying that she loved him. She was open and honest; she was loving and kind in her words. It was the purest thing he had gotten out of her all day.

"Then have me, Sam. I'll be yours if you just take me." He dropped his arms to his arms and spoke with the certainty of tears. He had never been so frustrated. His life had always been protected by his mother and he had not experienced such an emotional roller coaster in his life. He was thankful that his mother had cared for him so crazily while he grew up but he'd wished that she could have sat him down and told him about love, about hurt. Now as he waited for Sam to declare her choice he was dying as each second that she was silent passed. Nothing would hurt more than hearing…

"I can't." She chose grimly. Freddie's body tensed and a single tear dripped over his cheek. He couldn't be there in her room. He couldn't stand to look at her. It wasn't going to matter what she chose because it was going to change everything. As he had been saying, in the end it was only going to be them who mattered and it still rang true.

Freddie's feet carried him to her door but turned at the last second and looked at Sam. She shook standing there with Freddie's reddened cheeks and teary eyes staring back at her. She was beginning to tear up to, which was something Freddie himself had never seen. It made him was to punch a wall but he knew this was no fault of his. Sam made her choice independently.

"There was going to be collateral damage no matter what you chose. It never mattered about anyone else. You just can't get that out of your head. Sometimes it really is about you. I hope you remember that when you see what your decision has resulted in." Those being his last words to Sam he was satisfied. He hurried down her steps, out her down, down the street, until he was so far away from the downtown area of Seattle that he could breathe cleaner air and see wider spaces. He wasn't sure how far he'd gone but stopped at a corner. There weren't very many cars driving around him and the people who were walking were mostly small families. He must have reached the outskirts of town, the only place he could escape to without seeing Sam where ever he looked.

It was a shame that he tainted the scene, as his mind reflected on Sam and how she chose to be friends with Carly over dating him. How he friendship with Carly trumped her love for Freddie. He looked in windows as he wandered as saw himself and the hurt in his own eyes. He couldn't go to rehearsal. He had just realized as he groped his pocket that he left his phone at Sam's house. He never wanted to go back there. He never wanted to face Sam again.

Unfortunately, he would have to. He walked around until he found a bus stop. At least he still had his wallet and bus pass. Once a bus arrived at an obscure and slightly hidden post he climbed on and started planning the route he would have to take to get back home. He could only hope Sam would bring his phone to him and they would never have to confront one another alone again.


I actually wrote this with the intent of writing a follow up chapter because this is kind of a gloomy place to end it, but don't forget ;) reviews are absolutely welcome!