I have no excuses, only apologies. I ment to get this done last week, then half of my all time favourite slash pairing (more than Dean/Cas because it is actually canon) got killed off without a single spoiler or hint. Ianto's death broke my brain, that is all I am saying, damn Torchwood. I've also been looking at the future storyline and changing things, I might have a whole other arc to take with this, it is going to kill me.

Enough of my rambling though, lets get on with it.

I see the angels,
I'll lead them to your door
There's no escape now
No mercy no more
No remorse cause I still remember

"Sam? I found it." She is gathering pieces of paper and ancient tomes together as she talks, shoving papers into her bag and the books haphazardly back onto their shelves, making sure that she puts the book she needs in with the papers, promises herself that she will return it to Norman as soon as she can, as soon as the apocalypse is averted.

She is excited, this is exactly what she has been looking for since she left Ellen's, a way to banish Lucifer back to Hell again, and she is so caught up in her excitement that she does not notice that Sam's voice does not quite carry the same warmth that it usually does, that he seems annoyed at her discovery rather than relieved. Too excited to notice the intensity with which he demands to know her location, how he demands that she meet him without researching it anymore. She simply agrees to it, reasons that Sam and Dean know far more about this sort of thing than she does anyway and she should simply trust in his judgement.

So she does, she bundles up the book and papers, tosses her phone and purse back into her bag and digs out her car keys, scribbles a quick note to Norman, thanking him, apologising for leaving so suddenly, for taking the book, for not telling him the entire truth, making vows and promises to tell him everything when she returns, promises that she knows in her heart of hearts she will not be able to keep. She does not dwell on it, goes to her room and flings clothing and belongings into the tiny duffel that now contains her entire life, her whole world wrapped up in a car and a bag, borrowed rooms and stolen money. Not where she had hoped to end up as a child and certainly not what she wants to be doing when all of this is over, but aware, painfully so, that she can never be normal again.

She is in the car in under thirty minutes, spares a last glance at the house she had allowed to become her home for the last two weeks, the last part of her old life that still lingers, and starts the car, drives away and in the rear view mirror she sees Norman's bedroom light flicker on, feels her phone vibrate in her pocket and ignores it. She has somewhere to go and somewhere to be and the last thing she needs is to wait until morning.

Katie drives, she drives until she cannot drive any further, until the only thing that is keeping her going is air and adrenaline and the need to find a place to sleep for the night. For the first time she ends up squatting. She does not sleep well, half worried about getting caught, but mostly it is the dreams, visions of fire and destruction, screams of women and children, desperate cries of men, the stench of death all around her and it is her voice issuing the commands, her hands that hold blades and instruments, her body that shakes with laughter. She wakes up gasping and crying, sobs wracking her body and loneliness filling her heart and not for the first time she wishes that she had not left Ellen's, wishes that she was not alone.

She gets up early the next day, rolls out of the borrowed bed while it is still dark outside, takes a quick shower and is gone before the sun has even begun to peek over the horizon. Truth be told, she hates driving, has never liked it and wishes that finding what she needs did not mean driving all over the country in a beat up old mustang. Still, she does it because she feels she has to, feels she has a part in all of this, former vessel or not, and she intends to see it all through.

After two days of hard travel she reaches the motel that Sam told her to stay at in the middle of the afternoon, collapses onto the king sized bed of the room decorated by someone with dubious taste and allows herself to catch an hour of sleep. She is still plagued by the nightmares and eventually rises, going to get a quick shower before she heads into town to find a bar, the bar that Sam told her he would meet her in when she arrived. Steps under the hot water that never lasts long enough and lets the spray run over her face and hair, enjoys the feeling and begins to sing softly, so lost in her own world that she does not hear the door open.

SPN

Castiel knows that this is wrong, that following Lucifer, as they walk from the building they have been imprisoned in for too long, is going to lead to an outcome that is not only undesirable, but will ultimately prove to be the end of the world as they know it. He wants to stop this, he truly does, is not certain why the other angels have not intervened by now, knows that Dean is needed to win this war and that he is woefully ill equipped to help him or save him. In this moment, Castiel wishes that he had not disobeyed, wishes that he had refused to listen to Dean and remained in Heaven, cold, impassive and utterly emotionless. Perhaps, then, this would not have happened.

He has seen it all, seen the way that Lucifer will withhold the blood from Dean until the last possible moment, just to hammer home how much he can control the mortal, has seen the things that Dean has been ordered to do, seen the way that Dean fights it all as much as he can. Castiel is getting desperate now, has formed a plan that relies completely on Lucifer's pride, hopes that of all things he has seen and all that he once knew of his fallen brother, this will remain the most consistent.

Dean is twitching a little as he follows the former Lightbringer, Castiel hopes that Lucifer does not notice it. It is almost time for Dean to be given the blood again, to keep him under Lucifer's control and thus prevent the broken angel from trying anything to free him. All Castiel needs is a moment, just a moment alone with Dean without traps and binding, because he is desperate enough now to try anything.

Lucifer is prideful, but he is not stupid, he does not leave them alone for a moment, even when he orders Dean behind the wheel of the Impala, gestures for Castiel to get into the back as he slides in next to his vessel's brother, a bizarre and terrible parody of what had once been. It breaks Castiel's soul even more to see this, to feel the evil that resides within Sam and the fear and horror that is settling inside Dean, just beneath the surface below the haze of confusion and stolen will.

The human drives, because he can do nothing else, has no other choice than to obey Lucifer's commands and words, to follow like a child where his brother's body leads and Castiel needs to make this stop, he needs to repay his debt to Dean, for all of Dean's kindness and understanding, he needs to save Dean, before it is too late, before the damage that Lucifer is doing is irreversible. Before Dean dies, or loses all that makes him who he is. Castiel cannot allow that, even if he has to make sacrifices, even if he has to hurt Sam, maybe even kill him, Castiel will not allow Dean to die and the world to fall into darkness.

He is baffled about why Lucifer has chosen to bring them with him for this task, he has demons that Castiel is certain would be far better suited, but when they pull up at a motel, Lucifer has arranged Sam's face into some semblance of the easy smile and gentle eyes that Castiel had become familiar with and it is immediately clear that there is more to this. He gestures and all three pull deeply cowled hoods over their faces, Castiel glancing over at Dean to see that the human is still shaking a little, a constant tremor that will shortly become completely noticeable even to Lucifer so whatever it is that they are doing, Castiel either needs it to be done quickly, or to give him just a moment alone with Dean.

Lucifer knocks, actually knocks, on the motel room door, and though Castiel cannot see his face, he knows that the fallen one will have a look of disgust on those handsome features now, if only for a moment. He is relieved, momentarily, when the door does not open, but only for a moment, because Lucifer touches the handle and there is a click, a creak and they are inside. It is immediately apparent why Lucifer has gone to this trouble, the items in the room are Katie's the sense of her here is just on the edge of his awareness, in the way that she has been since Seraphiel died within her.

He knows what Lucifer wants now, knows why he has come for her himself rather than entrusting her to one of his lackeys, though how he found out about her, about her significance, Castiel does not know, because it is not something that he would just be able to glean from Sam's mind, the youngest Winchester would not have known the meaning. Lucifer is distracted, though, for just a moment and Castiel takes the opportunity to swipe what he needs from the satchel she has left by the door; a small penknife and an old book that smells faintly of grace, hopes that his own will hide it.

The sound of running water tells them all where Katie is and Lucifer begins to go through her bags, searching for something, ordering Dean to the bathroom to get her, take her to the car by any means necessary as long as she is alive. To Castiel's amazement, Dean hesitates, shakes his head and the angel knows that this defiance cannot end well for them, Lucifer is armed, angry and he will always be dangerous. So he is not surprised when he sees a flash of silver a feels the point of a blade pressed against his neck, hears Lucifer hiss that he only needs one of them and Dean had better do as he is told before he makes good on that. The blank look is back and Dean nods, opening the door and walking through.

"Make sure he does it," Lucifer orders, shoving Castiel into the steamy bathroom.

The smile when you tore me apart
You took my heart,
Deceived me right from the start.
You showed me dreams,
I wished they'd turn into real.

Reviews are little Castiels that fly above our heads and mini Deans under the bed. A small Sam in hand and a tiny John by the chair, a review that can show how much you care.

Artemis