Christmas that year was strange; Andromeda's presence was noticeably absent, and Lucius came to stay for a few days between Christmas and New Year's. Her parents looked on with pride as he was allowed to kiss her chastely on the cheek each night, and they beamed when he presented her with a real engagement ring, a flawless but modestly sized emerald set in gleaming platinum.
"Officially engaged for all the world to see, how marvelous. Such a beautiful couple," her mother said as Lucius knelt before Narcissa, the Christmas tree as a backdrop, in front of the whole family. "Even more perfect than –" She stopped herself and cleared her throat. "Well, completely perfect."
"Thank you, Mrs. Black," Lucius said as he stood and placed his arm around Narcissa. "Your daughter makes me truly happy, happier than I thought possible."
In the corner, Bellatrix was rolling her eyes, and when Narcissa glanced at her, she stuck out her tongue. Narcissa looked back up at Lucius, trying to push her sister from her mind for the time being. He met her eye and winked; they had talked beforehand about exactly what he could say to make her mother get all weepy.
Later that night, Narcissa met Lucius in the dim hallway that led to the wing of the house where the guest rooms were, and they tucked themselves behind a statue of a centaur raised up on his back hooves.
"You did perfectly," she said, putting her hands on his face to pull him close. She had had a few more glasses of wine at dinner than she was used to, and they had toasted with champagne later in the evening. Lucius would have been bemused at her unusual display of affection if he hadn't been tipsy himself, and he threw caution to the wind to press her up against the wall.
"I only spoke the truth, darling. There were more things I could have said, although they might have shocked your dear mother. For example, I could have told everyone how much I like this dress." Lucius placed his lips gently at her collarbone, and Narcissa giggled as her back arched towards him. "Or how much I want to see what's underneath…"
There was a moment where scenes from the romance novels Georgia kept under her mattress at school flashed before Narcissa's eyes, and she could imagine Lucius holding her tight as she hitched up her skirts and wrapped her legs around him. She sank deeper into the fantasy as he continued his ministrations, and didn't stop him when she felt his hands move around to the buttons on the back of her dress. But then there was a loud creak down the hall, and she snapped from her reverie, shoving him away with unprecedented force. He tripped over his own feet and landed hard on the floor, and her hands shot up to cover her mouth before she could scream. She dropped to his side immediately, whispering apologies, but he was already laughing.
"We were getting ahead of ourselves, Cissy. It's for the best if we go to bed. Separately."
She smiled down at him; his pale hair was nearly glowing in what little light was seeping through the doorway at the end of the hall, and he looked to her like a fallen angel. All she wanted to do was take his hand and lead him down to her bedroom, to fall asleep with his head on her chest, to wake up with him there, but she knew he was right. The time for those things would come soon, and there was no use getting in trouble that night.
"One more," she said, bending to meet his lips.
Narcissa went to her own bed reluctantly, and although she was drowsy from the wine she found she couldn't sleep. Of course there were the feelings of longing for Lucius to overcome, and her heart did seem to beat faster every time she remembered the feeling of his hand slipping lower and lower down her back, but she had felt those things before, after Saturdays in Hogsmeade when she would go back to the castle with reddened, sore lips. No, that night the image that she couldn't seem to push from her thoughts was Bellatrix's look across the sitting room. It had been a long time since she and her sister had had a meaningful conversation, and Narcissa was suddenly unsure if she could stand to go another day without some sisterly bonding. As she thought more and more about Bellatrix, she remembered all the mysteries that had plagued her for years, about Rodolphus and about Bellatrix's increasingly surly disposition. Soon Bellatrix would return to her own home, and Narcissa would be back at school; if there was a time to investigate it was then. She slipped from bed and found a warm dressing gown to wrap up in for the walk through drafty halls.
The short journey only intensified Narcissa's anger at so clearly being kept in the dark by her sister, and by the time she made it to Bellatrix's room she was fuming.
"Why isn't Rodolphus here?" she demanded as she threw the door open. "Why do you stay apart from him so much?"
"Shut the door and quiet down, Cissy," Bellatrix hissed at her. "And maybe I'll tell you a secret."
Narcissa did as told, going to join her sister in bed, where she was reading a nasty looking book of Dark magic.
"And why do you read those things? You're acting so strange lately."
"I thought I told you to be quiet."
"I need some answers, Bella. You can't keep me in the dark forever."
Bellatrix sighed and put the book aside.
"First of all, you really shouldn't drink, should you? Look at how feisty you've gotten. Second of all, if you must know, Dolph and I aren't really in love, not like you and Lucius. We were just smart enough to make the match ourselves before we were forced on other people. People who wouldn't agree with us."
"Oh."
"Are you shocked?"
"I don't know if shocked is the word. But I do want you to be happy, Bella."
"But are you beginning to understand?"
"I think so. You're fighting for Lord –"
"The Dark Lord, Cissy. That's what we call him, what you'll call him soon enough." There was a terrible gleam in Bellatrix's eyes as she spoke of him, and Narcissa felt chills run over her.
"Andy warned me about this."
"Andy?" Bellatrix's tone was sharp, but her face softened noticeably. "You've spoken to her?"
"She sent me a letter and told me to run away from Lucius. From everything."
"And did you reply?"
Narcissa shook her head, suddenly not trusting her voice.
"Good, Narcissa, you did the right thing. It's sad, but she's lost her mind and we won't be able to bring her 'round. I suggest you just try and forget about her, and be happy with Lucius. You do love him, don't you?"
"Madly, Bella. You can't even imagine how it feels when we're together."
"Then that's all that matters."
"But is he…has he joined you, and the Dark Lord?" It felt strange to say the name aloud, and even stranger to have to ask Bellatrix to tell her Lucius's darkest secret.
"Yes, he's completely on our side. As a matter of fact, when he leaves tomorrow, he'll come to our house and we'll finally all take the Dark Lord's mark. Hasn't he spoken to you about it at all?"
"No."
Bellatrix considered this as she absentmindedly stroked her left arm with a single finger.
"It's for the best," she seemed to decide. "He didn't want to worry you, so just let him go on thinking you don't know. Look at me, Cissy."
Narcissa did, and she saw cold determination in her sister's eyes. Any trace of childhood innocence, what little she once had, was gone.
"Lucius is doing the right thing for your future. I promise. It may seem cold-hearted, but when you're the queen of all you see, you won't regret any of this. Just support him."
Narcissa got up and made her way to the door, stopping with her hand on the knob.
"You are happy, aren't you Bella? Even without love?"
"Happier than ever, Cissy. You'll see. And I have a little love. I love you."
"I love you too."
In the morning they all saw Lucius off, and when he bent to kiss her on the cheek, Narcissa wished she could reach out and hold him close to whisper that he needn't hide from her.
The train ride back from Christmas holiday was always too hot from overzealous Warming Charms placed on each carriage, and Narcissa and her friends were already stripped down to their lightest layers before the train even began to move. At the very last minute, just before they lurched away from the platform, Georgia came running into the carriage, out of breath from running to make it aboard. She shut the door on a girl in the aisle (Hufflepuff, by the looks of her, Narcissa thought uncharitably) who was crying and clutching at that morning's Daily Prophet while two friends led her to their seats.
"Awful stuff," Georgia said, removing her hat and gloves in a hurry. "Her aunt's been killed by those – what do they call themselves? Death Eaters?"
"Yes," Anna verified, "sort of cruel, isn't it? I mean, obviously blood status is important, but mustn't we draw the line somewhere?"
"The Ministry isn't doing anything about it though, you have to admit," Cecily chimed in. She had always been much more vocal about pureblood supremacy than any of them. "I mean, when they can hold all the same jobs as us, marry who they want…it's a mess, really. Maybe something drastic does have to happen."
Anna and Georgia stared at her open-mouthed for a moment before remembering themselves. Anna turned to Narcissa, who hadn't so much as moved through the whole conversation, and tried to catch her attention.
"What do you think of it all, Cissy? Your family's one of the most important when it comes to these things."
Narcissa wanted absolutely no part in the conversation; she had been staring intently out the window since Georgia had told them why the girl was crying. A part of her wanted to cry as well, and another could only wonder if Lucius was safe. She certainly had no intention of sharing his secret with her friends, and decided that it was far past time to change the subject.
"I don't know," she said, dramatically removing her left hand from where it had been hidden under the cloak on her lap. She placed it on her cheek before going on. "I don't keep up much with current events."
As she had predicted, her friends started squealing and grabbing out for her hand.
"That must have cost a fortune!" Cecily exclaimed, getting the first look, and Narcissa breathed a sigh of relief as the subject of Death Eaters clearly was forgotten.
"I'm sure it did," she replied, gloating a little. "Goblin-made, of course. He made sure it was small enough to not be distracting at school."
"I'm not sure how well that's going to work out," Anna said. "It's pretty distracting."
"When's the wedding? Did you start planning it over break?" Georgia asked.
"Yes, it's going to be this summer, but I'm letting Mother do most of the work, honestly. I still want to do well at my N.E.W.T.S. even if I'll be a wife soon after they're done."
"You're so responsible, Cissy. I'm in awe. If I were you I would have already burned my books," Cecily said, tossing herself back against the seat. "Frankly, I wouldn't be able to think about anything but the wedding night."
"Stop it," Narcissa replied. "You're being vulgar."
"Are you telling me you don't think about it? Even you can't be so pure."
"Well, maybe I think about it. Occasionally."
"You've been thinking about it since you knew what it was," Georgia insisted. "I know you always fancied Lucius, and now he's all yours. You might as well do it soon and just get it over with."
"We can't all be you, Georgia, and be so bold about it."
"Cruel little thing. You know I only go with boys who really loooooove me."
"I didn't know the entire Ravenclaw Quidditch team looooooved you, Georgie! When's that wedding?" Anna teased.
"Now that one was a nasty rumor, and you know it. It was only the Seeker, and two of the Chasers…"
Their chattered droned on around Narcissa, who wasn't paying any attention. She was looking out the window at the dirty suburbs of London speeding away, a flush creeping up her neck as she considered what Georgia had said.
Next: a first time for everything
xoxo
