Chapter 3
"Shawn! Would you stop it?"
"Stop what?"
"Oh you know perfectly well what you're doing."
"Do not."
"Do too."
"Not."
"Too."
"I can do this forever."
"So can I."
"Oh Gus, stop giving me your resolve face. No one can resist the resolve face." Shawn lets a giant exhalation and flops onto his desk chair at the Psych office.
"Who are you waiting for?'
Shawn pouts, "No one."
"Really Shawn? So why do you keep looking out the window and checking your phone?"
Shawn hurriedly puts is phone back in his pocket and tries to look innocent.
"Omigod, you totally hooked up with someone last night!"
"I did not!"
"So why do you have a hickey?
Shawn's eyes get big and he runs for the bathroom.
When he returns his shirt is buttoned a little more and his collar is pulled up.
"Did you hook up with someone last night?"
"Nooooo."
"Well whenever. Who is it?"
"Gus! You know I don't kiss and tell."
"What are you talking about Shawn? You always kiss and tell. You can't wait to tell! Omigod. She's married. Shawn, what have I said to you about married women? You've got to stop doing that! Do you not remember what happened last time? " Gus's voice was practically a screech.
"Hey, it is not my fault her husband thought you were the one she was having an affair with. Anyway relax; I am not having an affair with a married woman."
"Well what are you doing hooking up with someone anyway? I thought Juliet asked you to check up on Lassiter."
"I did, last night."
"So what happened last night?"
"Last night? Nothing. No, I mean, I found Lassie at a bar getting drunk, again. So I took him home."
"How? He didn't go on your bike did he?"
"No silly-I drove him home in his car."
"So?"
"Lassie is just lonely Gus. He wants romance."
"Ew. Lassiter and romance do not mix."
"Ew? What do you mean? Lassie is plenty romantic. He always takes my arm when he escorts me out of the station."
"So you won't run back in."
"He took his wife to that fancy restaurant."
"And she served him divorce papers."
"See? It's no wonder he needs romance."
"Well don't go trying to play matchmaker. "
"What if I know the perfect person?
"No."
"Guuuuusssss."
"No."
"Even if he starts singing?" Shawn's ever present smile begins to widen.
"Don't do it Shawn!'
Shawn grabs the broom.
"Why must you tempt me Shawn?"
"You know you want to. C'mon Gus. Matchmaker matchmaker make me a match"
" Find me a find…."
"Catch me a catch."
Singing and dancing ensue.
"Fiddler on the roof is one damn fine musical."
"You know that's right."
Carlton Lassiter puttered around his room, putting clean sheets on the bed, sorting his laundry, essentially doing all he could in order to avoid looking at the note sitting next to his bedside table. Occasionally he would try to sneak up on, walk casually by as if for something else, but every time he got close he felt himself breaking out into a cold sweat, fear and anxiety clenching his gut. "Fuck it!" He strode over to the table, grabbed the note, sat down on his bed, took a deep breath, and unfolded the piece of paper.
Lassie
I figured you'd probably freak out so I thought
I'd give you some space. Normally I like to
lay around and cuddle a bit. Stop clenching your
jaw-it'll give you TMJ Lassie. Don't ask me how
I know that-psychic remember? Anyways, call
me ok? I'll be at the office today. I think maybe
we should talk. Or else I'll feel all taken advantage of.
XOXO
Shawn
Carlton groaned. "What the hell have I done?" He crumpled the note and lay down on his bed. Only to start when the phone rang. He knew who it was. He answered anyway. "Lassiter."
"Is that seriously how you answer your home phone?"
"What do you want Spencer?"
"I think by now you might have figured that one out."
Carlton ran his fingers through his hair and sighed. "Look Spencer-"
"Shawn."
"What?'
"Shawn, you called me Shawn before, I'm entitled that much don't you think. Considering."
"Shawn. Look, I drank too much last night."
"That doesn't really explain this morning, now does it? You know, I'm not going to let you do this. I'll be there soon."
"What? No! I don't want…" Carlton suddenly realized he was shouting at a dial tone.
"Damnit Shaw-Spencer!"
Should he let him in? Should he try to fob him off at the door? Carlton snorted. Like that would be possible. He doubted anyone had ever truly kept Shawn from doing exactly what he wanted. And what did Carlton want? Too soon he heard the knocking on his door. He sighed and went to open it knowing he was opening the door to what was likely to be the biggest challenge he had ever faced.
"Spen-Shawn. Come in."
"Carlton! What's up?'
"Me, O'Hara. What's going on with you? You seem suspiciously perky this morning."
"Oh nothing." She positively trilled.
"O'Hara." He growled.
"Fine. I asked Shawn to check up on you."
"You did what?"
"I was worried Carlton. You've been so cranky lately…"
"I'm always cranky O'Hara. What the hell have you done? What did Shaw-Spencer say?"
"He said all you needed was some romance and that he had fixed you up with the perfect person."
Carlton narrowed his eyes, "And the perfect person is….?"
"He didn't say but he said this person already liked you ."
"And how do you know all this? It's only 9."
"Shawn and I always have coffee together on Monday mornings."
So that's where he had wandered off to so early this morning. Carlton was shocked by Shawn suddenly bounding out of bed before his alarm had even gone off. He had imagined Spenc-Shawn being the type to sleep till noon. Well at least this reminded Carlton that he needed to have a talk with Shawn about keeping this quiet. He didn't need anyone knowing about their-whatever the hell it was. If it lasted past this weekend. Carlton gave a mental sigh-who was he fooling? It had the earmarks of a grand long lasting disaster. But no one else needed to know about it. Because Carlton Lassiter was not gay.
