Reverse Psychological Warfare


Had Akashi been a bit older, he probably would have needed a stiff drink after his . . . lapse of absoluteness.

That Mayuzumi was in fact a girl was a surprise. He did not know how it had escaped his notice. It was obvious once he'd been shown. Her delicate jawline and the way her gym shirt settled around her torso, hinting at curves. Curves that he'd seen all too clearly only after she removed her shirt. After he'd told her to.

That, he would admit, had not been one of his better moments.

The whole first sting, who'd all been present, were still in a bit of an uproar over that. His Crownless Kings were not handling it gracefully, to word it mildly. Nebuya had a coughing fit. Actually, he'd been alternating coughs with curses. And he'd refused to look at Mayuzumi even after she'd put her clothes back on. Hayama, excitable idiot that he was, seemed to have started hyperventilating and had to be taken to the nurse's office. And Mibuchi now seemed to want to be Mayuzumi's new best friend. Akashi wasn't sure why. He was ninety-five percent certain Mibuchi had no romantic interest in women. But he'd always thought it was just girls who wanted a gay best friend. Perhaps it worked both ways? Akashi couldn't say.

The whole thing was migraine-worthy.

It made him feel stupid. And there was no way to pretend that he'd known from the beginning that Mayuzumi was a girl, at least not one where he could save face, because he'd told her to strip in a locker room full of teenage boys and that was just plain bad.

She could have refused. It annoyed Akashi that she hadn't. She had to know or at least suspect that he mistook her for being male. Mayuzumi had taken off her clothes anyway, rather than announce it. Did she really think that was the lesser of the two embarrassments? No, of course not, Akashi realized. She intended to make a fool out of him. Probably as payback for him not being able to tell she was female.

It was exactly the kind of twisted, underhanded thing Akashi himself might have done in her situation. He found himself unable to hold it against her.

Damage control, for this situation, wouldn't be too bad. He would tell the truth, to any so-called figure of authority, and let them know that he hadn't known Mayuzumi was a girl. His family name would protect him from anything worse than having to explain himself.

So all that was left was figuring out how to use this latest development to his advantage.

Akashi knew this could be an excellent psychological weapon. Mayuzumi had just proven that revealing your gender to someone who'd mistaken you for a member of their own gender could have horrific consequences for those who'd made the mistake, and drive them to hysterics. He just needed to figure out how to harness this effect and turn it on their enemies on the court. Similarly, he was certain that he could evoke another reaction: rage. Certain narrow minded people tended to fly off the handle and act ridiculously and unreasonably when people of the opposite gender trespassed on what they deemed their realm. Those sorts of people tended to be meatheads, and Akashi knew they were bound to run into a lot of them in the basketball circuit. He could take advantage of that closeminded flaw in their personalities and trick them into defeating themselves. That would make Rakuzan mighty indeed. That would by psychological warefare at its finest.

Akashi's phone rang. He looked at it and saw that it was Midorima calling. Unexpected. He and Shintarou hadn't spoken since graduation.

He felt nostalgic at the thought. And an unreasonable longing tugged at him, almost like he wished he was the kind of person who had to worry that maybe he had a friend who'd heard about what transpired today and was calling to tease him about it. But there was no sound reason to want something like that. Besides, that hadn't been how his relationship with Midorima worked. And even if it was, there was no way Midorima could have heard about the incident so soon.

He answered his phone politely.

"Hello Shintarou. It's been awhile."

"Did you know she was a girl?" demanded Midorima instead of returning with a polite greeting of his own.

Akashi's jaw dropped. Then he closed it, and wondered how many times his absoluteness would be threatened today.

"Of course I did not know," he said tightly, wondering how he could ever have wanted a friend who'd call him up and throw his mistakes in his face.

"But you know now," surmised Midorima.

"Clearly. Seeing her strip down to her bra and underwear made her gender very clear," said Akashi.

"What?!" Midorima sounded like he was about to rupture a minor organ.

Akashi found confusion stirring inside himself. Shouldn't Midorima know that had happened? Wasn't this why he'd called? To tease Akashi about his misstep?

"You saw Kuroko strip down to her bra and underwear? Akashi! What the actual hell?!" shouted Midorima into the phone.

"What?!" Akashi returned.

This was wrong. So very wrong. This couldn't really be happening. Akashi was misunderstanding something, because from what Midorima just said it sounded like Kuroko was a girl.

"That is highly inappropriate, Akashi! You were in middle school! That is far too young for that kind of behavior! And I'll say this too: I'm disappointed in how you took advantage of her! You knew how little experience Kuroko had with people in general! We all did. Except maybe Kise, who is an airhead. Or Murasakibara who doesn't have a thought that doesn't have to deal with food in his head at all. Or Aomine who was just plain selfish. Well, maybe we didn't all know how inexperienced Kuroko was, but I know you certainly did! For you to coerce a young girl who's been that sheltered from people her entire life –"

"Are you trying to tell me that you believe Tetsuya is a girl?" demanded Akashi, cutting off Midorima's rant.

Midorima stopped talking and was silent for a moment.

"Are we talking about the same thing? Are you trying to say now that you didn't know Kuroko was a girl?"

"Tetsuya is not a girl!" said Akashi, feeling anger and frustration boiling up inside him.

"She is," said Midorima, calming drastically now that he was no longer under the impression that Akashi had taken advantage of their teammate and made her strip down to her bra and underwear for illicit or lewd reasons.

Of course, that didn't stop him from being wrong about Kuroko's gender.

"He is not!"

"Akashi. I swear to you. She is. I saw her today. In passing. But she . . . I saw that she had . . . she definitely . . ."

"Say what you intend to say, Shintarou, and stop stuttering like an idiot."

"She has . . . a woman's figure."

Akashi swore he could hear Midorima's blush. And he was certain that Midorima believed what he was saying, but –

"I don't believe it."

"Do you think I would lie to you about something like this? Or do you think I'm joking? Have you ever known me to joke, Akashi?" Midorima asked harshly.

"I think you must be mistaken, Shintarou," said Akashi.

"There was no way to mistake it. One of my teammates – who is incidentally a girl as well, grabbed Kuroko. Under . . . under her arms. She pulled her shirt tight. And there was no mistaking it, Akashi. She had hips and . . . other curves."

Akashi felt like someone had jerked a carpet out from under him. That feeling of falling and uncertainty was overwhelming him.

"I wouldn't have believed it if someone had told me. Actually, someone did tell me. My female teammate. I didn't believe her until I saw it with my own eyes. You know I wouldn't joke about something like this," said Midorima.

And that was the crux of it. Akashi did know. Midorima had even less of a sense of humor than Kuroko. He wouldn't lie about something like this. He didn't joke around.

So Akashi was presented with two unbelievable scenarios. Either Midorima had spontaneously developed a sense of humor, or Kuroko was in fact a girl.

Honestly, he didn't know which was more improbable.

But he did know one thing for sure: screw legal age limits. Akashi needed a drink.

"Akashi? What, no who did you think I was talking about at first? Who did you mistake for a boy until you saw her strip down to her bra and underwear?" asked Midorima.

Akashi took a deep breath then let it out.

"I'm hanging up now."

(Akashi tried to play the game. But the game played him, son. The game played him.)

(Pairings are still mostly undecided. Except in the case of Taka-Mido.)

(Reviews are appreciated)