AN: A few of you have been wondering why I named this story as I did. I always name my stories after the song that inspired me when I was writing up the basic plot. Some of my fanfic friends already know that as we've talked about it... this story is named after the wonderful song by My Chemical Romance. One line in particular... "For all the wounds that are ever gonna scar me, for all the ghosts that are never gonna catch me." - Go ahead and listen to it if you have the time! Again a great thank you to those who follow and review this story. I really did not expect it to get a positive response, if a response at all. So thank you!
(and yes, I did cry during the latest episode of TWD. I have really taken a disliking to Rick now... I'll give you guys one guess as to why.) -CSM
Chapter Three
Better Than He Could
As the night air chilled even more so, Daryl tried to bundle himself up as best he could. He used a retired old black sweatshirt to cover his body while the blistering cold threatened him. As the moonlight flooded the area that surrounded them, he attempted to heat himself up by shuffling slightly closer to the fire that burned. The silence between Daryl and Gareth was deafening. Daryl was used to talk. With Rick and the others, talk was what they did. Talking kept them sane. With Gareth, that was not the matter. The cannibal seemed more than content to keep himself company. Daryl continued to pick at the rationed portion of food they had been able to scavenge that evening, although hunger was not his prominent emotion at that point. A sense of missed belonging filled him. It hurt, to not wake up and see his group surrounding him. He hated not waking up to see Rick, Carol, Glenn and even Carl.
"You know, I'm surprised you haven't tried anything stupid yet." Gareth interrupted Daryl's quiet contemplation. He looked across the flames at his prisoner. His eyes baring holes into Daryl's skin, or so it felt that way. Daryl looked up for a moment, acknowledging that Gareth had said something, yet not bothering to really listen. He had no answer for his captor. Instead he stayed quiet. Previous contemplation thrown to the back of his mind now.
That's fine, if you don't want to talk." Gareth shrugged. He sat with his legs crossed, toying with a machete they had found during their scavenging earlier in the day.
"I know I said I wasn't interested in talking, but one thing I do miss is the pointless conversations... You know I used to have those a lot, with the people at Terminus." He paused, shooting another look at Daryl. He still seemed less than interested. His eyes stayed focused on the flames as he continued to toy with his food. Gareth smiled to himself "They were so dull. I mean just because everyone around us is dead, why does that mean we can't have a civilized conversation?"
Another awkward silence followed. Daryl took a deep breath, considering his response. After taking another mouthful of food, he sighed.
"What do you wanna talk about?" Slightly annoyed. he did it, not for friendship. He knew that his captor wasn't capable of such a feat. No, he simply replied because he knew if he didn't, Gareth would just continue talking. Tormenting, it was.
"I don't know." Gareth shrugged, in his usual nonchalant manner. "Sometimes I just need to communicate to feel human, you know? But I really am surprised. I mean you could have killed me already..." He bit his bottom lip, glancing at the fire which captivated Daryl's attention. After a slightly pause he returned his gaze to Daryl. "why haven't you tried?"
"Because you're my ride back to my group." Daryl answered, almost too fast. He saw no reason to lie. They both had intentions that led them to the same place, and Gareth was honest about his. "I'll only kill you if you stop being useful to me. Trust me I've considered it." Daryl laughed to himself, almost mockingly. If someone had posed a threat to him, usually he would not miss a beat in killing them. But Daryl was tired. Tired of fighting, and tired of living. If he were honest, he would admit to being borderline suicidal. But being depressed got you no where in this world, so he pushed on.
"You know I like you redneck." Gareth nodded. He was playing a dangerous game. He knew that Daryl was vulnerable at this point. He knew that if he played his cards right, he could bend Daryl's views. He could warp Daryl into a man just like himself. "...You're a straight talker, none of that sugarcoated bullshit that everyone is so fond of these days. Yeah, you're a lot like me in that respect."
"I'm nothing like you."
"You keep thinking that."
Another silence, filled by only the sounds of crackling fire.
"Tomorrow, we'll head to Savannah." Gareth changed the subject, realizing he may have hit a nerve with Daryl. He had planted the seed in Daryl's mind. Perhaps they were similar, in some respects. "It's a little out of the way, but it's a big city. We'll probably be able to find something a bit more useful than a can of minced meat and some band aids." Gareth sighed, directing his vision to their unsatisfying haul from earlier in the day.
"Whatever." Daryl refused to dwell on Gareth's words. He knew it would do him no good. He threw the now empty can to the floor and stood. "I'm going to sleep, wake me up when you want to leave."
He walked slowly over towards the car that had been parked just off the main bend. It was a long slope, and from this point they could both see and hear anything that may have been lurking. Daryl used an old blanket to cover the cold ground, he stayed huddled against the car, attempting to capture any warmth that he could from the fire. As he closed his eyes, distant memories of his previous life filled his mind. He remembered those long lost. He remembered Merle, and felt a gut-wrenching pain. Even after a time, it still hurt to think about his now deceased brother.
"How did you find them?" Gareth's voice penetrated Daryl's thoughts. It angered him. "Your group I mean. Did you know them before all of this happened?"
He refused to answer. Instead he kept his eyes closed. It was obvious to both of them that Daryl was not asleep, but he wanted to make a point. He was no longer interested in talking. He wanted to spend some time with his own thoughts.
"We made it out of our little town. My Mom, my brother and I." Gareth started talking, with no invitation from his prisoner. Daryl sighed, trying to ignore the cannibal. It was no use however, he slowly opened his eyes, and watched as Gareth spoke to nobody in particular. "My Dad came too, but he was the first to go... I still miss him, I guess. He was a total jackass to my Mom so I felt kind of relieved when they took him out. So then it was just us three, and we created a safe place for people to go." Gareth nodded to himself, turning to face Daryl who's eyes were now firmly planted on his captor. "You ruined that, you and your people, and I still haven't forgiven any of you. My family are all dead, thanks to you. But it's okay for you, you don't have to worry. You've got a big group, one to keep you safe right? What have I got?" Gareth almost spat his words. Anger boiled to the surface as he reminisced about his family. His emotions ran like hot and cold. Totally unpredictable and uncontrollable.
"You don't know anything about me, so stop acting like you do." Daryl replied, a slight sense of anger filling his voice too. Sure, Gareth had lost family at the hands of Daryl's group. But who hadn't lost family in this messed up world. "Stop acting so high and fuckin' mighty. You're just like everyone else out here. Someone who has been lucky enough to survive up to this point."
"I'm being a human here redneck. I'm talking to you. Isn't that what you wanted?"
"You're not talking to me, you're talking at me." Daryl shook his head, turning over to face the other way. He was done with Gareth. Done with this day in fact.
Tensions were beginning to run high between them, and he had no time to deal with it. He wanted to sleep, to pretend his reality was some sort of warped dream, only for a few hours. He didn't want another fight on his hands. He didn't want to have to protect himself any longer than he absolutely had to.
"I see you, you know." Gareth continued. Now that he had started, he had no plans to stop. "I've been watching all of your little gang... but you. You're different." He smiled as his words began to have an effect on the redneck. Perhaps this was a good thing. Perhaps he could use it to his advantage. Maybe Daryl wasn't as useless and Gareth had originally though.
"A couple hours ago you told me you had nothing to say to me. You said you weren't interested in me." Daryl mumbled under his breath, still refusing the face Gareth.
"Perhaps I am. A man can change his mind can't he?" Gareth sighed, the smile leaving his face. He stood slowly, pressing his foot down on the fire to make sure it burnt out completely. "Yeah, you're different to the others. You're a lone wolf and a survivor. I can tell just by looking at you, you've seen your fair share of bloodshed right?" Gareth nodded, he continued to watch over Daryl. When he received no response, he laughed " ... I thought so. You could have been one of us you know. You could have been safe, but you rebelled because the sheriff told you to. Take a look at where it's gotten you. He's gone, and you're with me, as my prisoner... and yet, you're still planning on running back to him when we get to DC."
At that, Daryl's brain awoke. Gareth had hit a nerve. Daryl tried to shake off whatever was now filling his mind. Perhaps Gareth was right? Really what good had Daryl found since finding Rick? He had almost been killed on several occasions, and now Rick had just left. He hadn't even tried to save the person he called his brother. Daryl felt uncomfortable as Gareth's words had impact on his thoughts. He tried his best to ignore it, but over the coming hours he would ponder over it. It would drive him insane.
"Wake up Daryl, stop chasing after someone who can't protect you." Gareth spoke slowly, his voice penetrating Daryl's thoughts yet again. He was like a drug, as a person you had no control over his affect on you. Perhaps that's how Gareth had managed to persuade so many people to stay at Terminus. He was a snake in the grass. One that knew how persuasion worked and perfected it to such a degree that he could enforce it on anyone he passed. Daryl was a task thought. He was not easily persuaded or mislead. Previously, Gareth had not wanted to involve himself in such a task, but now, he was interested in the redneck. He wanted to see just how far Daryl's loyalty went.
"Why are you telling me this?" Daryl shot back, turning over to look Gareth in the eye. He refused to let his words sink in. He knew what Gareth was about, and he was not as easily swayed.
"...Let's just say, its from the goodness of my heart." Gareth smiled. He turned to face the other way. Walking over to a tall tree at which he would sleep during the day. He preferred to sleep sitting up, especially when on the road. It meant a light sleep, on that he could easily be woken from. One that was safer to partake in, when walkers were in such very close proximity.
"and I guess you think you could protect me?" Daryl questioned, a smile upon his face as he considered such a stupid ideology.
"Better than he could." Gareth shrugged. He sat down slowly, leaning against the tree that woud serve as a bed for the night. He kept his eyes on Daryl for a moment, allowing his words to sink in.
"Night Daryl." Gareth spoke, almost as an instruction. Daryl watched his captor closely, before he finally turned around and closed his eyes. Laying back down on the matt which barely made a difference to the hard ground beneath. His head buzzed with activity now, which annoyed him so. Gareth was insane, but he spoke some truths. Daryl contemplated their conversation, and repeated it over and over in his head until the words became a blur.
'You're a straight talker.'
'I'm being human, isn't that what you wanted?'
'You're a lone wolf, and a survivor.'
'Look where it's gotten you'
'Wake up Daryl.'
'Better than he could'
'Better than he could...'
