Author's note

Well here's chapter 3 dealing with Hidan and Kakuzu.


"Are you fucking kidding me?"

"No."

"You better be asshole, we did not just walk across the entire country just because you wanted to find a bargain at some dirty ass flea market."

"I think we did."

"You son of a bitch, I'll kill you."

"Well then at least I wouldn't have to listen to you anymore."

Hidan and Kakuzu were making their way to the world's largest flea market. Kakuzu had heard some good things about it and wanted to see if he could finally find someplace where he could shop regularly. However he was forced to bring Hidan along and after several decapitations Hidan still hadn't seemed to realize that pissing off Kakuzu was stupid.

"Geez look at all this crap I wouldn't spit on it. I mean seriously this is the stuff Jashin made to piss people off on purpose."

"You don't appreciate a good deal at all, look at this vase it's dirty and chipped but I can get it for two bucks when normal retail would be around 50."

"Why the hell do you want a vase anyways! And the reason it costs more at stores is because the qualities better!"

"Lesser quality is fine with me if its lesser cost." Kakuzu had never once been to a store that wasn't having a sale, which is why he likes flea markets so much, everyday's a sale.

"Whatever just buy us some food at a one of those vendors I'm starving."

"Those vendors are overpriced and if you think I'm paying for you you might as well just cut off your head now."

"Fuck you, I'll pay you back later, and besides you need to eat sometime too."

"I don't need to eat, I'm Kakuzu."

"I hate you."


"All of this shit is worthless, so why the fuck are you buying it! What the fuck do we need a ripped slip-n-slide for!." Hidan was getting pissed at Kakuzu for buying every worthless thing he came across….. except food.

"The slide is a Christmas present for Tobi, I like to get my shopping done early."

"Like he's gonna want a torn one dipshit!"

"You're talking to the 'human sewing machine' here, your words idiot."

Kakuzu had gotten Christmas presents for almost everyone now he just needed Hidan's.

"Oh my fucking Jashin. Kakuzu get over here." Hidan had found something very interesting.

"What is it?"

"I've found it! I've found the Holy Goblet of Jashin."

"Is that some stupid Jashin artifact?"

"The stupidest. This thing guarantees me entrance into Jashin heaven and if I don't get it I go to Jashin hell."

"With the crappy cartoons?"

"No they remade it, now you're forced to listen to the first verse of the Happy Day's song over and over for eternity. Kakuzu you need to buy this for me or God, fuck, Jashin is gonna send me to hell."

"How much does it cost?"

"You bastard."

"Sorry, well not really, but it appears that the Holy Goblet of retardation is out of your reach." Kakuzu then walked off laughing.

Hidan was pissed.

"You… you cant do this… its not fair you son of a bitch!" Hidan then ran at Kakuzu and tackled him to the ground. Only one thought was on his mind.

"God damn it give me back my wallet Hidan!" Hidan was holding Kakuzu's wallet and his hand sifted through it's contents pulling out all of Kakuzu's hard earned money.

"Hidan, what are you doing?" Kakuzu's rage, and maybe fear, were evident in his voice as Hidan dropped Kakuzu's wallet and brought his other hand to the money getting ready to tear it all in half.

"Well Kakuzu, look at the predicament we're in here. Now you can either buy the Goblet or you can watch as your money is ripped apart before your eyes, I wonder how massive your heart attack will be?"

"No I need my money, I'm Kakuzu!"

"Then buy the fucking Goblet."

"Fine."

Later the two were walking back to the Akatsuki hideout pouring over their finds. Kakuzu cradled his wallet in his arm and made sure none of his buy's slipped out of the bag on his back. Hidan was treating the Goblet like it was Jashin himself holding it tightly to him and muttering the Happy Day's theme. All of the sudden a lightbulb turned on in Hidan's head………. for once.

"Wait, why the hell didn't we just steal the Goblet, in fact we probably could've just stolen everything nobody's gonna come investigating a 'fire' ata flea market."

Hidan hadn't noticed Kakuzu had stopped walking and bumped into him.

"Ow, watch where your going asshole!"

"…………."

"You're going to decapitate me now aren't you."


And thats chapter 3 next up Zetsu.