I'm Just A Killer For Your Love
Chapter 3 – Safety
By: StalkerDex
(Author's Note: Sorry if your inboxes got bombarded as I tried to fix the last chapter. For some reason it wouldn't let me insert that one line in the manner I wanted it so I had to change it…which was dissatisfying to say the least. Nonetheless, the new chapter is here!)
Eric felt a horrible pain in his stomach as he walked into the parking lot. School had been torturously long in the midst of his excitement to see Kyle. He was coming out of his skin with anticipation over spending his evening with that stupid Ginger. However, as he approached his car, he found himself less than satisfied with what he saw.
"Craig? What do you want, asshole?" Eric demanded as he walked up to his car. Craig was leaning on the back of it, casually smoking a cigarette.
"I need a ride home."
"Well that's too bad, dickwad, because I'm not giving you one. Why don't you ask that faggot Clyde?"
Craig narrowed his eyes at him with irritation, "Because, asshole, none of them have cars besides Tweek and there's no way in hell I'm getting in a car with him behind the wheel!"
Cartman rolled his eyes, "Jesus, none of you poor assholes have a car?"
"We're not poor, dick. Most of the kids at school don't have cars yet. Our parents want us to buy our own."
Eric glared at him, "Look…I have plans today, alright? I can't take you home."
"What? What kind of plans could you possibly have? You told me last night that you can't get people to hang out with you!"
Eric gritted his teeth angrily. He was really starting to piss him off now.
"Fuck off Craig! Christ all mighty! Just because we hung out one goddamn night doesn't mean that we're friends!" Eric hollered, attracting the bewildered stares of several students occupying the parking lot with them. Neither of them cared.
"I know that. I don't want to be your friend. I just want you to drive me around. I mean…unless you want me to tell people how pathetic and lonely you are?"
Cartman narrowed his eyes at him threateningly as his lip trembled. He was furious and, as intimidated as Craig suddenly found himself, he held his ground.
"I swear to God Craig…if you tell anyone about the stuff I told you I will fucking wring your goddamn neck!"
"I'm not scared of you, you fat piece of shit!" Craig shouted, catching Eric a little off guard. Craig usually wasn't a hot head. He was clearly getting defensive. Normally, this would thrill Eric but he decided, due to the fact that Kyle was supposed to come over, he would budge a little. Just this once.
"Goddamnit fine! I'll take you home!" he hollered out, shutting his eyes angrily as he let those poisonous words leave his contempt filled lips.
Craig smirked, happily shoving his hands into his pockets as he basked in his victory. He thoroughly enjoyed one upping Eric. He assumed he was one of the only students on campus capable of doing that.
"Sweet…let's go…" Craig started as he headed towards the passenger seat. He stopped in his tracks as Cartman hollered at him.
"Oh no…you're sitting in the back, dick wad."
"What? Why?" Craig protested, genuinely looking confused.
"Kahl's coming to my house today. He gets the front."
Craig's face immediately showed amusement as he leaned his elbows onto the hood of the car.
"You're letting a Jew sit in the front?" he asked, sounding almost as though he were mocking him.
Cartman felt his cheeks run hot as he realized Craig was about to call him out. Of course he would. He was already insisting he was gay…of course that little butt fucker was going to assume there was more to hanging out with Kyle than met the eye. Well…he was going to be disappointed. He had nothing but hate in his heart for Kyle. He had only asked him to hang out because the Jew provided him some amusement with his hotheaded irritation at his jokes.
"Yeah, so?" he finally responded, not sure of what else he should say. It was one of the few times the very charismatic Cartman found himself uncertain.
Craig raised his eyebrows and tapped the hood of the car, "nothing…just observing…"
Cartman gritted his teeth and prepared to verbally destroy the Tucker kid, but found himself interrupted as Kyle came up beside him, startling him.
"Hey," he said, a little surprised as Cartman flinched at his voice.
"Oh…uh…hey…" he said, grabbing the straps of his backpack with both hands. He seemed like he felt a little insecure, which intrigued Kyle.
"What's going on?" he asked, noticing that Craig was leaning on Eric's car.
"Cartman's taking me home…he told me you get the front though," Craig responded, blatantly putting it out there that Cartman wanted Kyle to sit up front with him.
Cartman bowed his head in embarrassment as he struggled to think of a way to neutralize the situation.
"Yeah, well…I didn't want your butt fucking ass sitting up front with me!" he finally retorted as he headed towards the drivers side and got in, tossing his backpack in the empty seat beside Craig, who had already hopped inside. Kyle shrugged, realizing that spending his evening with Cartman probably wasn't the best idea. How did he get talked into this in the first place?
"Hey Kyle! Where are you going?" Stan's voice suddenly caught his attention.
"Huh?" he asked, turning around to face his best friend. Stan was running up to him, dragging Wendy along. She looked irritated at the fast pace he was maintaining, though complied. As hotheaded as she could be she always tolerated his antics when it came to Kyle. He couldn't help but think she probably wouldn't if she knew how he felt about him, "Oh hey…I'm sorry. I forgot to tell you I'm hanging out with Cartman today."
Stan raised one of his eyebrows, "what? Seriously, dude? Why?"
"Uh…" Kyle thought for a moment. That was a damn good question, "I…uh…I dunno. He asked me and I had nothing better to do so…yeah."
"Oh," Stan said, not bothering to hide his disapproval. He didn't like it when Kyle hung out with Eric. He always worried about him tremendously. Especially because, as the years went on, he became increasingly aware of the fact that Kyle was secretly gay. Kyle didn't know he knew this, but he did. Of course, he was also aware of the fact that Kyle had a thing for him, which he chose to ignore because of his relationship with Wendy. He was, unfortunately, straight. If he wasn't though, he knew he would end up with Kyle.
Either way, he worried a lot about him hanging out with Cartman. It wasn't exactly a news flash that he was more than likely a raging little homo beneath all of that false bravado and anger. Honestly, everyone figured part of the reason he was so out of control pissed off all the time was because of the fact he was a repressed homosexual. In fact, he may have been a repressed little girl living inside a boy's body if anyone cared to really examine it. Of course, no one did.
"It'll be okay Stan. You guys have fun tonight, okay? I'll see you on Saturday or Sunday," Kyle assured, adjusting his backpack on his shoulder.
Stan smirked at him doubtfully, "yeah, okay. I'll see ya Kyle…"
Kyle was about to say goodbye to Wendy, but was interrupted by Eric sticking his head out the window of his car.
"JESUS CHRIST TAKE LONGER JEW!" he hollered. Clearly he was growing impatient with their conversation.
Kyle closed his eyes with irritation and took a moment to control himself. Once he'd regained composure, he let out a breath and opened his eyes, focusing on Wendy and Stan once more.
"You sure you want to hang out with that?" Wendy asked, also perplexed by the situation. They all found Cartman to be entirely vile, especially now that he was older. He seemed to get more and more disgusting the older he grew.
"Not really. I already told him I would though," Kyle sighed.
"Alright…well, bye then," Wendy said, gently tugging on Stan's arm as she shot one more sympathetic glance towards Kyle.
Kyle nodded towards them, finding himself unable to smile as he watched Stan head the opposite way. It always pained him to watch them two of them together; a constant reminder of what he couldn't have. He swallowed hard, struggling to keep himself from falling into a deep disappointment over his unrequited love for Stan.
"Put that out, asswipe!"
Kyle found himself in the middle of some sort of tiff between Craig and Cartman as he stepped into the car, much to his irritation. Jesus. Why couldn't Cartman just shut the fuck up every once in a while?
"No dick face!" Craig retorted, surprisingly seeming to be caught up in the argument.
Kyle, intrigued by Craig's investment in the argument, turned around to see what was going on.
"It's my car and I'm telling you to put that goddamn cigarette out!" Eric shouted, his face reddening a little bit as it always did once he got worked up enough. Kyle couldn't help but smirk at Eric's dissatisfaction.
"Fuck off!" Craig retorted, taking a sizeable drag off of his cigarette. It was almost out at this point. Kyle started to chuckle as he realized they must've been fighting about that the entire time he'd been smoking it. Craig smirked at him knowingly, which didn't go unnoticed by Cartman.
He narrowed his eyes at Kyle before starting his car, "GODDAMNITIHATEYOUBOTH!" he rambled angrily, much to Kyle and Craig's satisfaction.
Kyle turned himself forward and buckled up, still smiling at the amusement he got from the argument. Cartman couldn't help but feel frustrated. Of course those two assholes were ganging up on him. Goddamn sons of bitches.
"So…what're you guys gonna do tonight?" Craig asked, leaning forward in an attempt to be both nosy and annoying. It was working.
"None of your goddamn business!" Cartman hollered, completely irritated that Craig felt like he had the right to open that pie hole of his. Just because he had blackmailed him into giving him a ride didn't mean they were fucking friends.
"Cartman!" Kyle scolded, totally unaware of the growing disdain between the two of them. He had just assumed he and Craig had some sort of arrangement as far as the ride went seeing as they'd also arrived at school together.
"I don't know…" Kyle continued, turning a bit to face Craig, "…I guess we're just gonna watch a movie or something."
Craig nodded, "Cool. He's not gonna take you to Stark's pond and get you hammered like he did to me then?" he teased, knowing that would irritate Cartman.
"I didn't force you to drink asshole!" Eric retorted, not wanting to be embarrassed in front of Kyle.
Kyle was completely oblivious as to the politics between the two of them, so he continued on casually with the conversation, "I don't drink."
Craig was leaning on Kyle's seat at this point, in the mood to tease him too. He couldn't help himself.
"Ooooh…right. I forgot…you're a fucking prude!"
Cartman laughed a little at that, which caused Kyle to immediately go on the defensive. He hadn't counted on Craig and Cartman ganging up on him, which was stupid of him. Of course they would. They were clearly hanging out and he knew they were both sadistic assholes. They were the perfect pair of insensitive, psychopathic jerks; and he was stuck in a car with them both.
"Shut up Craig!" Kyle insisted, gritting his teeth a bit. Everyone was always trying to pick on him and he was always having to stand up for himself full force, "I just don't see the point in it. Why would I want to get stupid and sick? It doesn't sound like any fun at all!"
"Well, that's because you've never been drunk. If you'd been drunk you would see what the point is," Craig defended.
Kyle swallowed, leaning back defiantly in his seat. He had to admit, he was a little curious as to what all the hype was about. The thing was he didn't condone it and, as much as he hated to admit it, he couldn't face the wrath of his mother if he ever were caught doing something he shouldn't. Drinking was taboo in the Broflovski household.
"You know why he's never been drunk? Because that bitch of a mom of his would castrate him if he did…Kyle's little balls tremble at the mere thought of her flying into a bitchy rage!" Cartman taunted.
"Goddamnit Cartman! Quit calling my mom a bitch!" he hollered, irritated that Cartman was right.
"What? It's okay Kahl. If she were my mom my asshole would be clenched just as tight as yours is. Nobody blames you…" Eric went on, putting on his innocent act.
"Yeah, Kyle…" Craig chimed in, "…we don't blame you."
Kyle grunted in exasperation before leaning back in his seat and folding his arms across his chest, "you guys are such dicks…" he mumbled.
Craig and Eric both laughed as Craig slumped back into his seat. They were already almost at his house and, as Cartman pulled into his driveway, he couldn't help but feel a little bummed he hadn't made plans for the evening. Perhaps Clyde would hang out with him…
"Alright…here you go asshole," Cartman announced as he put his car into park and waited for Craig to get out.
"Thanks fat ass," he said as he opened his door, grabbed his backpack and made his way out. Before he shut his door he turned around and leaned his head in, "later Kyle."
Kyle looked towards him, a little irritated, "yeah…later."
God, between the two of them he felt like his head was going to explode. They were both such dicks. Kyle was quiet as Eric backed out of Craig's driveway, not bothering to make sure he got into his house. In all honesty, neither Eric nor Kyle gave a shit whether or not he got locked out.
"So…are you guys, like, friends or something then?" Kyle asked, leaning back angrily. He truly had no desire to spend his evening with Cartman and he was cursing the fact that he'd agreed to it. Eric always had a way of praying on him when he was vulnerable, and he knew damn well that was what had happened earlier that morning. He'd just been naïve enough to let it happen.
"Me and Craig? No…" he said, laughing a bit at the 'no' part. There was no way in Hell he was friends with Craig.
"Then why are you guys hanging out so much?" Kyle asked, not bothering to look at Eric. He kept his eyes fixated on the road before them.
"We're not hanging out. I had some whiskey with him last night and we crashed at my place."
Kyle held up his hand and sort of examined it as he rubbed his fingers together listlessly.
"Okay…so why the ride home, then?"
Cartman swallowed. He couldn't tell Kyle it was because he'd blackmailed him…could he? No. Absolutely not. He and Kyle weren't close enough for that, which was sad seeing as Kyle was probably the closest relationship he actually had.
"Because. Jesus…why are you so goddamn nosy?" Eric spat out, trying to shift the focus. If he could make Kyle feel like he was being an asshole maybe he would drop it.
Kyle shrugged, "whatever. I don't care. I was just making conversation."
"Well you're pissing me off. Just keep your goddamn Jew mouth shut, alright!"
Kyle rolled his eyes before huffing a bit, "You know, Cartman, I don't even know why the fuck I agreed to hang out with you tonight. Just take me home if you're gonna be a fuckin' dick all night."
"Fahn! That's fahn! I'll take you home then asshole!" Eric hollered, shutting his eyes forcefully as he did so.
Kyle's arms were folded across his chest as he gritted his teeth and continued to stare out the window. However, as they drove on, he quickly realized Eric wasn't taking him to his house.
"Dude…seriously…take me home!" he hollered as Cartman pulled into his driveway.
"No asshole…you said you were hanging out with me so you're gonna fuckin' hang out with me!" Eric retorted, turning off his car and forcefully exiting it.
"CARTMAN!" Kyle screamed as he also got out, slamming his door behind him, "TAKE ME HOME!"
"Why don't you call your boyfriend Stan and have him come get you? I'm not taking you home! That's a waste of my goddamn time and money!"
"GODDAMNIT CARMTAN!" Kyle shouted as he lunged towards Eric, grabbing his collar and pulling their faces close together.
For a brief moment Eric felt panic rise in his chest. As much as he hated Kyle, he certainly didn't want to get into a tiff with him. He didn't have the best track record when it came to physical blows; even with girls.
"Kahl! Knock it off!" he demanded, though didn't bother to shove him off. He really wanted to avoid a physical confrontation if possible.
Kyle stood there, his hand shaking as he held him threateningly for several moments. However, it wasn't too long before he let out a defeated sigh and released his grip. Eric felt his stomach immediately settle as he swallowed hard and backed off of Kyle, shoving his hands into his pockets. Kyle looked him over as he calmed himself down.
"I'll walk…" he said calmly as he walked over to the car and snatched his backpack out. Eric felt himself panic a little more. No…Kyle couldn't leave. He wanted him to stay so badly! He had to find a way to get him to stay. Of course, he knew there was really only one way to make that happen; he had to show a little fucking honesty.
"Kahl…" he said sheepishly, causing the Jewish teen to stop in his tracks. He stood with his back to Cartman as he spoke quietly, "…please don't leave. I don't want to be by myself tonight and no one else will hang out with me…"
Kyle was clutching onto the straps of his backpack, which he started wringing with his hands as he realized Eric was being truthful. Fuck! He always knew just how to play him; he hated it. He let out a very defeated sigh as he spun around and faced Eric, disdain still very apparent on his pale face.
"Fine. But if we're gonna hang out tonight you can't be an asshole, alright? Christ…it's just me…why do you have to put on such a show?"
Cartman stared at him, eyes wide with uncertainty as he spoke, still very cautious, "Yeah…o…okay. Just…just stay here, okay? Don't go…"
Kyle felt his anger start to melt away as he realized Eric was being totally genuine. He suddenly felt the all too familiar feeling of selfless forgiveness washing over him as he looked at his old frien-emy.
"I won't. Now get your backpack and lets go find something to do, alright?" Kyle instructed, his somewhat paternal instinct kicking in. He always had such a need to pamper and coddle any troubled soul that found themselves in his path. It was just an element of his personality he couldn't deny.
Eric nodded as he averted his gaze and grabbed his backpack from the backseat of his car. As much as he hadn't wanted to be so vulnerable, he knew Kyle wouldn't tell anyone. He also knew, unlike Craig, Kyle would never use it against him. In fact, he was the safest he could possibly be when in the company of Kyle Broflovski, and safety was something he desperately needed.
