Quinn's eyes wouldn't budge. After avoiding this extent of drama for so long it was so hard to even begin to fathom the battles that had happened in this very apartment she was now lying in upon Santana's request. It was a day of horror stories for already having to walk on eggshells Quinn Fabray, she hadn't even known the innocent blonde and Santana; who seemed to be more in love with the girl then any other human being on this earth, had such a terrible end.
In the worn apartment there were battle scars that were hard to find but luckily Quinn was gifted with such great sight having spotted every single one of them. It started when she needed to use the restroom, as the blonde was washing her hands she noticed a hole the size of a small fist in the mirror and examined it closely. Only Santana was capable of that strength, Brittany couldn't even cut a piece of paper in half without feeling like she was murdering the other papers brother. Then later on when Santana was in the shower, Quinn's curiosity got the best of her once more and took a walk through of the apartment finding a broken phone with a unicorn on the back of it. That had caused the blonde to frown even more then she had been since she had a chance to let down her guard while the Latina girl who she feared for took a shower.
Santana stirred in her sleep towards the other girl and Quinn smiled slightly at how Santana looked when she slept. Her facial expression was always the same, very angry, even when Santana wasn't angry it forever came off that way to everyone they ever knew. The peacefulness of the girl made her jealous but not enough to where she would sink to the level of taking over the counter drugs to get a full nights rest. Quinn couldn't believe it when Santana told her that, not only was she using this to repress her feelings but she was also hurting herself by doing this and starting an addiction that Quinn wasn't quite sure Santana exactly knew how to handle. Truth was Quinn couldn't even begin to think of how she could help Santana, was she enabling her by sitting by idly as she watched Santana take these to fall asleep? Or was she just making sure she wasn't crossing her boundaries with the girl by walking on eggshells? All she knew at this point was after everything she witnessed today, she can't leave the girls side or she'll spiral even further down this hole than she already has.
By eleven it was beginning to get frustrating that Quinn couldn't fall asleep because her mind wouldn't stop thinking about every little aspect of every single thing that was happening around her and on top of that she was couldn't stop wondering why all of this was such a big deal to her. Quinn would be lying if she said she never thought of Santana because truth was she thought of the girl almost everyday since her bold decision to cut the girl out of her life and all she could do is lay here and be strong for her since it was partially her fault that this even happened to the girl. Quinn lets out sigh trying to force her self to relax as she looks over at Santana who was facing her.
"No no none of that…" Santana throws her arm over Quinn, pulling her in tightly to herself. Quinn was shocked at first wondering if the girl was still sleeping and did this out of habit. "Santana…?" She whispers gently to see if she could get a reply from the women who just wrapped herself tightly around the petite blonde. After a moment a tired swallowing sound comes from the girl with her eyes closed, "Quinn shut up and close your damn eyes, I know I'm hot but you can only stare at me for so long before it breaks into my dreams and wakes me up. You're so creepy…" A husky voice came out slowly before Santana buried herself deeper into Quinn's side. As much as the blonde wanted to say something in retaliation she couldn't bring herself to do it for several reasons all of them being that Santana is in a bad emotional position and now had Quinn in her arms and was breathing hot air onto the soft spot on her neck. Panicking for the hundredth time today, Quinn thinks quickly turning to her side but holding onto Santana's hand in fear of her being offended.
"Seriously though stop worrying so much about me clear your mind and please for the love of god sleep or I'm going to hate myself when you're exhausted because of me" This time Santana spoke louder, she could feel the uneasiness like a sonic wave coming off of Quinn and she was way to groggy to actually do anything about it but knew if she didn't at least say something, she would end up hating herself for what Quinn is doing for her in the morning. So for both their sakes, something had to be said. "Alright, I will" With that Quinn sank into the bed, Santana's arm over her, and was able to sleep within thirty minutes having to remind herself that as long as she was here, her friend would be too and that's all that mattered.
Sun started peeking through the curtains but this time Santana was already awake and staring at Quinn who was sleeping. As the events of yesterday unfolded in her mind, Santana felt a wave of guilt and gratefulness about the beautiful blonde sitting next to her. Even thought the Latina had let out her and Brittany's horror stories on the girl and basically went off about how she had no purpose left in life, instead of doing the smart thing and running, Quinn stayed with her all night. Quinn held her all night. The moment Santana would roll over, the petite girl would follow suite and mold with her body. It felt nice. Quinn felt nice.
Though her drug induced courage was gone, Santana debated on putting her arm over Quinn just to feel her warmth one last time before she woke up and this envitably came to an end. Santana carefully snakes her arm over the girl's stomach and in return Quinn rolls onto her side, pulling the girl into her chest. The shorter brunette looked up to see if her eyes were closed and they were.
Quinn however was actually awake and relieved that Santana was showing her that she wanted her there, despite the fact she probably thought the blonde was sleeping. She had been worried all day yesterday about being told to fuck off like Santana usually did, somehow the girl was really good at bottling up her emotions but for the first time since she knew her, Quinn had never seen that side of Santana. A vulnerable side she was sure she'd probably never see again.
Santana had still been looking up at the girl who was now holding her once more, she had looked at Quinn a lot but never from this close and it was nice to see the finer features. Her skin was a perfect ivory complexion, not one single freckle or zit, perfectly proportioned cheek bones to match her beautiful big eyes and cute button nose. No wonder why every guy fell over themselves in high school for this girl, she really did have the whole princess thing going for her. Looking at the strand of hair that fell into one of Quinn's closed eyes Santana couldn't help but to feel annoyed by it awkwardly hanging there so summoning up some more courage, she brushes a light finger through it moving it to the side.
Feeling the warmth on her cheek, Quinn reaches up, stopping Santana's hand and keeping it there. Hazel eyes flutter open and she looks down at her friend with a tiny smile. "Santana…" She whispers and watches as the brown eyes look at her astonished by this situation. "Yes….?" The Latina replies nervous about everything that's happening around her. She knew she wasn't suppose to be feeling anxious for Quinn's touch or voice but for some reason she couldn't help it, she had never felt like she needed someone next to her so badly in her life until Quinn Fabray showed up at her doorstep yesterday.
Quinn knew Santana was anticipating whatever the blonde was about to say and there was so much she wanted to say. "Santana I haven't been able to stop thinking of you since the party at pucks. Your touch, your taste, I've never felt so much electricity from one person and I'm burning thinking of you" Words Quinn Fabray couldn't bring herself to say and it was becoming an inner battle between swallowing her pride and going for it, or being what the girl needed; a friend, and backing off to let her heal. "Can I use your shower?" Despite what Santana actually wanted to do, she nodded an okay to the girl, getting ready to unravel her only to be stopped by Quinn pulling tighter. "I didn't say I was ready to get up" She quickly said to the girl, grabbing the blanket and pulling it up higher on them. "It's going to snow today you know…" Quinn began not really sure where she was headed with this conversation, Santana even more confused on why they were having conversation. "Yeah…I'm aware…" Santana said no emotion in her voice towards the subject. She knew Quinn was holding back, the blonde rarely started meaningless conversations and definitely never with Santana who had made a statement all through out high school about not giving a shit about what people have to say unless it's actually important.
"I want you to be okay" The blonde stated, rubbing her hand up and down the Latina's arm, sending immediate shivers down her spine, "I don't know what I'd do if I lost you Santana in any way. It was already hard enough staying away from you all last year and I really don't think I have the strength to do that again" She says gently to the girl, closing her eyes as she remembers how awful it was to see her everyday and not say anything, to watch all her amazing performances and pretend she never had. She didn't even hug her at graduation and she regretted it everyday.
This had finally caught the Latina's amusement; did Quinn Fabray really just say she didn't have the strength to stay away from her anymore? It quickly was driving Santana so far past the point of curiosity that she wanted nothing more then Quinn to spill the beans on why she even stayed away from her in the first place, she promised to keep it a secret why hadn't that been good enough? Quinn had always been Santana's side kick and was so quick to leave her after they did that like they had a million times before. It all confused the brunette who stared seriously into Quinn's eyes. "Why did you stop talking to me? I promised to keep it a secret and when have I ever broke a promise to you?" She asked, trying not to seem too rushed to hear an answer. With that, Quinn let go of the girl and slinked off the bed barely looking at her as she made her way towards the door, "I really should take that shower now. Don't want to waste the whole day away, I've got something very special planned for you" She says quickly, escaping the room before they get into a deep conversation. Santana was in no condition for this conversation, she was still fragile from yesterday and the only way to do this was to build the girl up before possibly bringing her down with the truth Quinn had been hiding since that night at Pucks.
