Title: Harry Potter and the Keeper of the Phoenix
Author: Elizabeth Kelly
Rating: PG-13 (T)
Disclaimer: Harry Potter, its plot and characters, belong to J.K. Rowling.
Summary: HPGW, RWHG, RLNT & JPLE The one thing he needs, is the one thing he could never have… until now. (Post HBP – Contains Spoilers) WIP
A/N: There are probably thousands of these, so I'm just going to toss mine onto the pile. This is my first Harry Potter Fic, and only my second WIP so any constructive criticism is welcome.
Chapter Three
The days passed relatively quickly, since Harry had arrived at the Manor. The order had thrown him a small birthday party, which due to safety concerns Ron and Hermione couldn't attend. Though he was reassured that precautions were being taken and he could attend Bill and Fleur's wedding at the end of August. Harry spent the weeks leading up to the wedding, training with Lupin and Tonks. As he was no longer underage, he was free to practice magic and they were using it to their full advantage. Occasionally Harry would receive instruction from Kingsley Shacklebolt or Mad-Eye Moody, but mostly it was Tonks and Lupin who put him through his paces.
He was gradually improving his wordless magic, he could now perform most charms and some transfigurations and almost all the defensive spells he had learnt so far. The insults thrown at him by Snape the night Dumbledore died only seemed to fuel his determination.
There had been one awkward moment when Snape showed up at the manor for a meeting. Harry and Snape had stared at each other. Harry had only just managed to contain his anger. Snape, on the other hand, looked guilty and for a fleeting second Harry thought he saw fear, but shrugged it off, putting it down to the lighting in the room.
"Potter, for what it's worth. I am sorry you had to see what you saw. I never wanted him dead," Snape apologised, jumping when the window beside them shattered into a million pieces. With his hands clenched into fists to stop them shaking, Harry tersely nodded at him and left the room before he did more accidental magic. From then on, Harry had chosen to avoid him like the plague, which was somewhat hard to do now that Harry had been allowed to join the Order.
When he wasn't training, Harry spent most of his time wandering around the manor, discovering all of its hidden corridors and secret rooms. He liked it there, he felt the part of him that disappeared when Dumbledore had died, had returned. One morning Harry had entered one of the bedrooms and felt that it couldn't be any room other than his mentor's. Feeling like he was intruding, he had quickly left.
A few days later, he accidentally discovered a secret room behind a painting of Hogwarts, when he had raised a hand to touch the window that he knew was the window to his dormitory. The painting had swung open to reveal a small room. In the centre of the room stood a grand desk, littered with pieces of parchment, empty and dried up ink bottles, a couple of broken quills and several old dusty books. Curved bookcases covered three quarters of the walls and on them sat hundreds of books and a number of whirling gadgets. Harry took a sharp breath as it dawned on him that the office was eerily similar to Dumbledore's office at Hogwarts. Next to the desk sat a perch similar to the one that had sat beside the headmaster's desk. An ache began in the pit of his stomach, as his eyes stung with unshed tears.
A soft melody began to sound throughout the room, echoing from the high ceiling. The melody sounded awfully familiar to Harry, and he turned to see Fawkes perched on the arm rest of a comfortable looking high-backed chair just to the right of the door. He knew that nobody had seen Fawkes since the Headmaster had died and to find him here in what Harry assumed to be Dumbledore's private study, seemed somewhat... right.
"Hello, Fawkes," Harry said, moving to sit in the chair that Fawkes was perched on. Fawkes regarded Harry carefully and slowly stopped singing.
"Do you miss him too?" he asked, reaching out and stroking Fawkes' feathers gently. Fawkes continued to stare at Harry.
"Yeah, I miss him. I feel guilty for being angry at him and destroying his office back in fifth year." Fawkes crowed indignantly.
"I know, he told me I had every right, but it doesn't stop me from feeling guilty. I hurt him that day, I know it." Fawkes hopped down so that he was resting on Harry's knee. Fawkes crowed soothingly.
Harry smiled softly, as he continued to stroke Fawkes. He spent the rest of the afternoon talking to the patient phoenix. It was longest he had ever talked, and he felt that Fawkes seemed to understand him, even if he didn't understand himself. Everyday since that first one, he returned. Sometimes, Fawkes wasn't there when he arrived but he would always show up before Harry left. He didn't know where the phoenix went when he wasn't listening to Harry, and he never asked. It felt good to talk about things and Fawkes seemed only too willing to listen.
Both Remus and Tonks had questioned him about where he went, but he never let on, always replying in the same way, "exploring". He wasn't ready to tell anyone about the study and he wasn't quite sure if he ever wanted to. It was his hideaway, somewhere where he could read, somewhere he could think, but most importantly it was his place to go when he felt the weight of the world on his shoulders.
Three weeks into his stay, Voldemort had launched a particularly nasty attack on a muggle town not that far from Surrey. Twenty muggles had died in the attack. That day Harry had gone to the study and screamed himself hoarse with frustration. It was on days like those that he thought 'why him?'.
From what Harry could gather during the course of his stay so far, Lupin lived in the Manor, Dumbledore making sure that since he couldn't be safely housed at Grimmauld Place, that there was a room for him wherever headquarters was situated. Tonks also appeared to have moved into the manor, though Harry had the sneaking suspicion that it wasn't so much the fact that Tonks had no where else to go, rather she was going to be wherever Remus was going to be.
The other frequent house guest was Professor McGonagall, who had, at Harry's persistence, begun to teach him the art of animagus transformations. His form, much to his surprise was a lion. Professor McGonagall too was shocked, claiming that the last person to have a lion as an animagus form was Godric Gryffindor himself. A couple of weeks later, Harry was frustrated to find that the only changes he had been able to muster was a fine set of whiskers and lovely long tail. McGonagall however wasn't discouraged, claiming it was several months before she had even been able to grow a tail.
The week leading up to Bill and Fleur's wedding flew by in a blur. Tightened security, particularly around Harry, meant that the wedding was going to be held in the Great Hall at Hogwarts. Harry was not looking forward to returning there, but he had promised Bill and Mrs Weasley that he would attend and he did want to see Ron and Hermione again. But thinking of the Weasley's invariably led him to thinking about the youngest red-head. He was slightly apprehensive about seeing Ginny again. Out of everyone she was the one he missed the most, but he was afraid that he wouldn't be able to suppress his feelings if he saw her again. 'No, she would be in too much danger. Keep her safe. Forget about her,' he kept reminding himself.
The day before they were to leave for Hogwarts, Remus came home carrying a large box in his hands. Harry looked up from the book he was reading ('Hogwarts, A History') as Remus placed the box in front of him on the kitchen table.
"What's this?" Harry asked. Remus rolled his eyes.
"Open it and see." Harry looked Lupin in the eyes for a moment before putting the book down, and lifting the lid off the box.
Inside was a set of handsome, new, black dress robes. Harry turned to Lupin.
"Well, I'm guessing your robes from fourth year are too small, and you need dress robes for the wedding, so," he trailed off.
"Thanks Remus, to be honest I never thought about what I would be wearing." Remus smiled.
"Neither did I to be equally honest. It was Tonks that reminded me." Harry chuckled. "So what are you reading?" Harry held up the book so he could read the title. "Why are you reading up on the history of Hogwarts?"
"Well, Hermione is always going on about how Ron and I should read it. Besides, it may contain information on the founders, and if I'm to destroy the horcruxes then I need to learn about the founders."
"Makes sense," Remus agreed.
"Yeah, or could be a complete waste of time." Remus stared at him.
"Harry, nothing in this war is a complete waste of time. You of all people need to know that," he said seriously.
"Yeah, I know, it's just," Harry paused, arguing with himself whether or not to say what he was really feeling.
His head was telling him not to get too close, not to trust, his heart telling him that he needs to do this, to get it off his chest. He remembered how good it was to talk to Fawkes and in the end his heart won.
"It's just that sometimes it seems like such an impossible task. Sometimes I just wish that I…" Harry trailed off, staring at his lap. Lupin placed a hand on his shoulder.
"We've all wished that you were never chosen, that you could have had a normal life, that James and Lily and Sirius, and Dumbledore were still alive."
"I know, it's just hard sometimes, you know?" Harry looked up and met Remus' eyes.
"You've had to grow up so fast, and the way you've handled it," he paused, smiling at Harry. "Your parents would have been so proud of you." Harry smiled and looked away.
"Thanks."
"You're welcome Harry."
Harry felt like a small weight had been lifted off of his shoulders. He had been scared that Lupin would think he was weak for feeling helpless or selfish for wishing it wasn't him. To be honest, Harry did feel guilty for wishing it wasn't him, because if it wasn't him then Harry knew it would be Neville, and Harry wouldn't want to wish his life on anyone, particularly Neville.
That night Harry lay in bed trying to concentrate on the 'Handy Hexes' book Tonks gave him for his birthday, but instead of learning about how to turn his opponents limbs into tentacles, a certain red-headed witch monopolised his thoughts. Tomorrow he would see her, and if asked, he wouldn't be able to answer just exactly how he was feeling.
He wasn't sure if he wanted to see her or not. On one hand if he didn't see her he wouldn't have to think about everything he gave up in order to keep her safe. On the other hand, he had missed her so much since they had parted after the funeral. The separation had led him to realise just how much he had needed her. It was like a never ending battle between his head and his heart.
Then again there was also the scenario where Ginny hated him and her six-older brothers would curse him into oblivion for breaking her heart.
Yawning suddenly, he pushed all thoughts of Ginny out of his head. Closing his book and placing it on the nightstand, he then turned off the lights and within minutes he was asleep.
The next morning, Harry was woken by a bucket of cold water being poured over him. Within a matter of seconds, Harry was out of bed and standing in front of his 'attacker' his wand pointed at their chest. Lupin froze not daring to move.
"I'll say it was a lot less life-threatening to wake your father up that way," he joked light-heartedly as Harry slowly realised who had woken him up.
"Oh, Remus. I'm sorry," Harry said wide-eyed. Lupin and the painting in the corner chuckled.
"Nothing to be sorry about my dear boy. I'm glad to see your reflexes have greatly improved," he said calmly. "Now hurry up and get packed. Tonks decided that she was cooking us breakfast this morning, so be prepared to have toast on the run." They both chuckled, as the smell of burnt eggs reached their nostrils. Winking at Harry, Lupin hurried out the room to help Tonks before the manor burnt to the ground. Shaking his head, Harry set about packing, his ability to legally perform magic greatly assisting in the task.
Ten minutes later, Harry dragged all his belongings now packed up in his trunk, down the stairs.
"I don't suppose you are going to tell me why I have all of my stuff packed up in my trunk?" Harry asked entering the kitchen to see Lupin and Tonks moving hurriedly away from each other, Tonks facing the window and Lupin facing him, his ears and cheeks tinged with pink. Harry stared at his pseudo-uncle a suspicious look on his face.
"Because Minerva asked you to," Lupin answered shortly, his voice slightly higher than normal. "We're running late, so it will have to be toast for breakfast this morning." Harry held in a laugh as he watched as Lupin and Tonks finished making the toast (Tonks having been delegated buttering duty). "Here we go, eat up Harry," Tonks said cheerily, placing a stack of buttered toast in front of him. Smiling in return, he thanked them both and began to eat.
Gathering in the entrance way of the manor, Lupin shrunk Harry's trunk and Hedwig's cage and placed them in his pocket.
"Ok Harry, we're going to apparate to just outside Hogwart's gates. I know you're not licensed," he held up his had to stop Harry's protest. "But it's the quickest and safest way."
"Hurry up you two," Tonks said impatiently shifting her weight from one foot to the other.
"Ok, hang on, I've just got to disillusion you." Lupin cast the charm on Harry and he felt the familiar feeling run down his back. Lupin then disillusioned himself and finally Tonks. "Alright, on the count of three. One, two, three…"
They landed with a loud crack, and were hastily rushed inside the gates by the waiting guard.
"Oh, man I'm never going to get used to that," Harry muttered as he swayed on his feet. A deep chuckle from behind him, alerted Harry to the invisible guard standing around them. The chuckle, Harry recognised as being Kingsley Shacklebolt's, an auror from the ministry.
"You'll get used to it eventually," he replied in a low voice.
"Hello Potter, sorry to break up this reunion, but we need to get inside the castle," Mad-eye Moody's voice spoke up as he began to hurry them all up the hill. As they were walking up the hill, Harry felt the presence of someone coming to stand beside him.
"Hello Harry, did you have a good trip?" Harry stared at spot where he assumed Professor McGonagall was. Offhandedly, he wondered why people always asked that, even though apparating only takes a couple of seconds. Not knowing what else to say, he simply said,
"It was fine thanks."
Together the group headed up to the castle. As the astronomy tower came into view, Harry gave an involuntary shiver. Lupin, who was walking on the other side of Harry felt his shiver and gently patted his shoulder. Harry gave him a small smile, forgetting that Lupin wouldn't be able to see it, and continued to walk on in silence. Stepping into the entrance hall, Harry felt the charm being lifted and barely had time to register the decorations before his view became obstructed by a mass of curly, brown hair.
"Hello Hermione," Harry greeted, hugging her in return.
"Harry, how are you? We're so sorry we couldn't come to your birthday party, we really wanted to but the order wouldn't let us, and…"
"Come on 'Mione, let the man breathe," Ron chuckled. "Hey Harry, how's your summer been?"
Harry studied his two best friends. Hermione had grown about an inch, her normally bushy hair tamed into beautiful curls for the wedding. Ron, on the other hand had grown a few inches and he now towered over Harry. His bright red hair had grown a bit longer and his faced had changed, it looked more mature rather than boyish. Excitedly, they spent the next few minutes catching up on each others summers before Mrs Weasley came in and interrupted them.
"Hello Harry, I'm so glad you could make it today," she said breathlessly, as though she had just been running. Pulling out of her hug, he replied,
"I wouldn't have missed it for the world." Mrs Weasley smiled.
"Well you had all better hurry up and change, its not long before the ceremony starts."
Harry, Ron and Hermione headed up towards Gryffindor Tower where they had been allowed to stay. They continued to chat about their summer so far, or more like Ron and Hermione did whilst Harry listened, his stomach churning with nerves. He had yet to see Ginny and from the way Ron and Hermione had been avoiding the subject since he arrived, he wasn't quite sure he wanted to see her.
A/N: Hey everyone, thanks for all of the fantastic reviews. I appreciate all the comments you make and if you have any suggestions or constructive criticism, I promise to take it into consideration. I am about to head into exam period, so Chapter Four may be a couple of weeks away, but then I have a three month holiday, so I will have plenty of time for writing. Thanks again. - Liz
