A.N: This is super short, but its been on my computer for ages and I just had to post it. Happy reading.
It was the minions' second week serving Gru and they hadn't really done much; mainly because Gru refused to acknowledge their existence no matter how much they poked and prodded and stole his underpants. He still kept an iron grip on the idea of working alone but he couldn't bring himself to kick them out – not after all those trials he made them do. A group of them had just got back from covering the Isle of Man with cheese sauce. He couldn't wait until THAT got on the news.
Still, he was in quite a predicament.
The minions were helpful. They lifted and carried whatever he told them to, to where ever he told them to take it - which is how his neighbours living room ended up in a tree in a park thirty hundred miles from where they lived. (They had it coming because they wouldn't let him get his rocket back when it landed in their backyard.)
The minions also annoyed his mother, whether or not he told them to, so that was an added bonus. Mother wanted them gone straight away. Part of him was keeping them around for that reason. He didn't want Mother to have the satisfaction of getting what she wanted.
And they were cute – annoyingly cute. It was undignified! Here he was, trying to be the greatest villain mastermind, and all he could think about was pinching the little guys' cheeks.
He sighed and twitched on the TV, flipping through channels, looking for headlines about yellow guys causing havoc.
Something tugged on his sleeve. Gru glanced down to see one the Minions – Barry? Sally? – Oh who cares…
"What is it?" he snapped.
"Et tu beda maaaaa!" The minion groaned and pointed inside his mouth. He must be hungry.
"What are you, a baby bird?" Gru demanded, "Go feed yourself!" He turned back to the TV.
Ten minutes later he was putting out a fire in kitchen.
"Guys, you don't have to build wood fires in the MIDDLE OF THE CARPET! Did you grow up in a cave?"
The minions blinked at him.
"Oh. You really grew up in cave, huh?" Hmm? What was that pinch in his shrivelled evil heart? Sympathy? NO! Not acceptable. Quick, say something mean. "Well, that explains everything."
The minions glanced at each other.
And so it continued:
"Hey, those are my cookies!"
"That's NOT what a frying pan is for!"
"Are you goats now? STOP EATING THE CURTAINS!"
"You guys are gonna make me bald."
It went on like that for an hour or so until the saving grace – which was only momentarily a saving grace because a second later it was deemed a curse to add to the extra string of curses that suddenly made up Gru's life but anyway – the saving grace that was…
"We're out of food, are you serious?!"
Saving grace one second: the minions had finally stopped their roleplay of Kitchen Nightmares. Curse the next second: the minions were still hungry. Not to mention the fact that Gru had to eat. Worse part was, the minions had completely gobbled his favourite sprinkled chocolate ice-cream.
There was only one thing to do in a situation like this. Gru clapped his hands twice to get the minions' attention.
"Okay, everyone! We're going on a shopping trip!"
