- Chapter 3: Scales Of Justice -
"Okay… so this isn't quite going the way I hoped."
Mario gulped as he kept his hands pointed up toward the ceiling. At least twenty armed officers – some holding standard pistols, others with wrist-mounted lasers, still others with cannons like Wendus's equipped to their armored suits – stood in a semi-circle around him, all with itchy trigger fingers.
"Cuff him."
Two other policemen paced around behind Mario, jerked his hands into the small of his back and slapped something around both wrists that felt suspiciously metallic. He grimaced. "Thanks. You know, I've always wanted conjoined bracelets, they go so well with my shoes…"
"Dr. Marius, you are charged with aiding and abetting the organization known as the Space Plumbers in their conquest of the Rosetta Galaxy," one youthful-looking Koopan officer read out. This boy looked a lot more like one of the Koopas from his homeworld, and his uniform was tailored to compensate for his spiky shell. "You have the right to legal representation before the magistrate. If you do not have enough credits to afford one, the Fungalactic Federation Fugitive Freedom Fund will provide one for you."
"The F.F.F.F.F., huh? Wow, I feel F-ing special."
"Listen," Wendus said to the one of the older officers through her helmet; once again, she was ambiguous and aloof behind her metallic husk. "There may be something else in play here. From what he's said and his appearance, there may – may be some truth to his claims that he is not this Dr. Marius fiend. Where have I heard the name before?"
"He's the scientist that developed the A.I. for their 'Mother Drain' project," the woman informed her. Mario was intrigued by her appearance; she was also covered in scales, but they were a glittery red, like those of a fish. In fact, those might have been gills sticking out from under her orange hair. "We've been scouring the universe for years trying to pin him down, but after he finished his dirty deed for the Plumbers the man disappeared. His hefty bounty's probably been buried under newer bounties on all the Space Hunter BBSes so I'm not at all surprised you don't remember."
Wendus glanced back at Mario, who shrugged. There was a cold cast in her posture as she looked over him; what was running through her mind? "Hefty bounty, you say?"
"Need a new Gunship?"
"I see. Nevertheless," she sighed, as if it pained her to keep going, "If I were you, I'd run a full bio-scan on both him and his personal affects. It might pan out in this case."
"Fine, fine, I'll sign off on it – but only because I trust your judgment, Mr. Oran. If a seasoned veteran like you thinks it's worth checking into, then so it is."
Wendus caught the tiny smile Mario flashed her and put a hand to her forehead. Mister Oran, eh? Seems like even her gender was shrouded in self-generated mystery. "Terrific. Just don't say I ever promised he's not Dr. Marius."
As they led Mario off to a holding cell, he turned to the female officer and said, "Excuse me… sorry if this is a stupid question, but are you… part-fish?"
The scaly woman glared daggers. "What backwater planet did you grow up on, Doctor? You've seriously never seen a Cheepanese? Not even once in a video file or anything?"
"Must be one of the outlying rocks in Jugemsol," said another officer, and a few of them laughed.
That convinced Mario that he wasn't going to do himself any favors by chatting up the local fuzz, so he simply smiled apologetically and let them lock him away. He'd have his day in court to talk himself into the noose.
-o-o-o-o-
A few days passed before Mario had his preliminary hearing, during which he tried not to gawk at the bizarre mish-mashes of animals he saw in the cell with him. One particularly gruesome Koopan lady asked him if he was "seeing anyone". He replied by moving to the other end of the bench.
It wasn't until he was being herded toward the courtroom that a man in some silver metallic suit (which he supposed looked very businesslike within that universe) began running alongside him. "Sorry I'm running a little behind, Mr, oh what was... Doctor?"
"Luigi?"
The taller plumber blinked, startled, and glanced between Mario's face and the file folder he had in his hand several times, as if expecting one of them to change. Then he leaned in and hissed in a low voice, "Maru, what are you doing here? Your last email said you were heading for the Lylat System!"
"Bro, what in the hell are you talking about? Oh, wait, I think I can field this one myself – you're not really Luigi."
"What's a Luigi?" He squinted. "Did you get some reconstructive surgery done? Must say, they did a terrible job; you look even older than you did before and I can still tell it's you."
"Thanks a heap, you dork. Now, what's the score? Do I have a ghost of a chance? And why didn't you meet me at the cell? That's supposed to be your job."
Luigi (or whoever it really was) sighed. "Well, the reason I'm so late is because I had to pick up the lab results from your bio-scan. I could have dropped by to get them on my way home last night, but Daiza had tickets for the symphony, and, well, you know how the ladies hate to be kept waiting..."
"Fine, fine, save it. What do the results say?"
"I dunno yet. Like I said, I just got 'em. Probably nothing all that useful." When they stopped in front of a large portal flanked by two dour-looking guards, the Luigi clone squinted at Mario again, stroking his mustache. "Funny... on any normal day, you'd be throttling me over this right now, or filling me in on how you plan to escape. Or at the very least griping that I didn't go along with your annoying galaxy-domination scheme way back when."
Mario shrugged. "Maybe I'm not the man you think I am."
The Luigi impostor laughed. "You mean like, you're a Leopardian who changes his spots? Please. Your little crackpot experiments and conquests are too important to you; I'd eat my tie if you ever gave them up. But hey, nobody's perfect."
Then they were inside and facing down the "magistrate", who turned out to be a rather large Cheepanese in long white robes. A reedy human man stood and said, "Hear ye, hear ye, we convene now to weigh the merits of the case of Federation versus Maru Marius. Attorney Ligu Marius will serve as defense council, Attorney Carlton Peezli as prosecution. Honorable Magistrate Bertha presiding."
"Your honor, if it please the court, I think there's little point in going on," Peezli told them. He was a tall, thin human with delicate bone structure; the only thing that intrigued Mario was that his skin held a faint green tint. "When you've seen so many news bulletins of what Public Enemy Number One looks like, you tend to be able to recognize him at a glance. The masses may have forgotten him in the intervening years, but we finally have the diabolical Dr. Marius in our clutches – he must pay for his crimes against all peoples in the Fungalactic Federation. Put this ahead to trial so our citizens can have justice."
"One moment," Ligu said, shuffling his papers. "I have here a statement from my bro- I mean, this man, that he is not the infamous mad scientist of which you speak."
"I have a statement here that I'm a Shriekbat," the greenish man sneered. "But a police sketch program compared his face to that of Marius's mugshots and there are over a thousand points of recognition. It's him. He is he. End of discussion."
"I'm inclined to agree, council," drawled Magistrate Bertha, so disinterested in these proceedings that she was checking her cell phone for messages. "Can we move this along?"
"Wait!" Desperately, Ligu leafed through the lab results, and stopped. "See… see, this is interesting… wow."
"Feel like sharing, Marius?" asked Peezli.
"According to the lab results, although they have identical faces as you say… there are only a few strands of DNA that match. They're…" He looked up, surprised himself. "They're not even distantly related."
"Let me see that," Peezli growled as he grabbed a data pad and scrolled through his own digital copy; obviously this attorney was far better prepared than the scientist's brother. "Hmm, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera… aHA! …oh."
"In fact," Ligu said as he burned through the pages at blinding speed, "there is also evidence of trace materials found present on his skin, clothing and personal effects that have never been encountered before in all the known systems of our little corner of space."
"Which means?" the judge grunted tiredly.
"He's either been hiding in some tiny hole our exceptionally-thorough explorers have never found, or he's from… a very long way off." Then he went back to Mario's statement. "It does say here that this man claims he traveled here from another dimension."
"Hey, I didn't claim that," Mario piped up. "Wendus and I just agreed it was a possible explanation, that's all. A weird one, but possible."
"The defendant will not speak out of turn," Bertha barked, and pressed a button – and an electrical charge shot through Mario that emanated from his seat. What kind of sadistic bastards designed these courtroom proceedings? "But let's assume for the moment he's not an evil genius and not a nutjob. What's our next step?"
"You must dismiss all charges," Ligu put in without a blink. "I mean, these DNA results are beyond conclusive; they're irrefutable."
"He's some kind of clone," Peezli yelped, incensed. "Even if he isn't the man we believed him to be, we cannot ignore their resemblance! At the very least, we must-"
"We must release him," Bertha grunted impatiently. "If the DNA says he isn't Marius then he isn't Marius, end of story. Even if the results were cleverly faked, with the evidence we have now he can't be held. However…"
"However?" Mario gulped.
She kept speaking as if Mario wasn't there. "However, he will be injected with a tracer. If the lab techs run further tests on the samples and figure out he is Marius, or if an investigation turns up that the initial results were tampered with, we'll haul him back in. Also, there is another matter." Her tone became more grave as she tapped her fingers on the bench. "If there is indeed an alternate reality, parallel universe, or time-travel scenario in play, he must be taken immediately to the Senate."
"What?" Ligu cried out, dropping the stack of papers he was about to shove into his battered briefcase. "B-but you just said that if he's not Marius than he is guilty of no crime!"
"This is a matter of galactic security, prosecutor. One handled by bigger heads than mine or the police. See, we have this little-known, long-standing law that anyone from an unfamiliar system who wanders into Federation territory should be given a chance to meet with the politicians and other fancypantses ay-sap so they can try to draft a peace treaty before there's any whiff of war breaking out. Not that we've had to enforce it in the past few hundred years. Take him to the Senate; they'll decide what's next for the poor human." The judge rang a little bell. "Defendant is remanded to the custody of the Federation Army for interrogation, and shall be released contingent upon his cooperation. I gotta use the can."
With this lackluster announcement, the magistrate rolled off her seat and disappeared through a back door. Peezli strode forward as he slipped his data pad back into its leather case and smirked. "Congrats, council. I believed this one sewn up before we even began. We still on for mixed doubles?"
"Just make sure Sue doesn't back down again this time because she's too scared of Daiza's backhand." Laughing, the prosecutor strolled out of the courtroom. "Well, whoever the heck you are… why didn't you tell me you weren't my brother?"
"You weren't in any mood to listen," Mario sighed. "But hey, sorry."
"Don't be. At least now I know why you weren't being a total prick." Ligu cleared his throat as he finished packing up his briefcase. "Another dimension, huh? Long trip."
He shrugged as they began walking toward the doors. "Didn't feel that long. I'm really evil in this version of the world, huh?"
"Rotten to the core. Mom always babied you, so you got used to having your way. A little too used to it. Was it the same with you and your version of me?"
"No way," Mario laughed. "Mom was always hounding both of us to be good little boys or we wouldn't get any cannoli for dessert. Well, until we ended up in the Kingdom."
Ligu shifted uncomfortably. "Am I… dead in your reality?"
"Uh, no?" Mario snapped with some alarm. "Why would you be?"
"Because Maru has tried to bump me off so many times it seems likely I didn't survive somewhere else. A guy can only get as lucky as me in one space-time continuum."
"Ah."
Ligu looked left and right as he whispered before they reached the exit, "And don't sweat this big military thing. If they've already decided you're not the good doctor, then they'll ask some really weird questions and then send you on your merry way. Maybe even as soon as tomorrow. The worst is over. But hey, drop me an email if they decide to get a little rough, huh?"
"Thanks," Mario said as he was handed a transparent business card with a name and a barcode printed on it in glowing ink. "Say, why are you being so decent to me if another guy with my puss has tried to short-sheet your lifespan?"
"Eh, call it familial obligation. You're the brother I could have had. Good luck, pal."
-o-o-o-o-
The Fungalactic Senate was a foreboding, humongous building if ever he saw one. Much crazier than that were the streets of whatever city on Mushroombus Five he happened to be walking through – or were there even cities? When you had an entire galaxy of planets to live on, maybe the name of one of them was specific enough. Either way, metal gleamed everywhere, as if they had forgotten about plant life. Then again, he saw a huge transparent dome off in the distance that seemed to hold all manner of vegetation within it. Their version of Central Park, he assumed.
Within moments, he was taken to an interrogation room, though it wasn't as vile as he'd expect one on Earth to be. Soft recliners, coffee table books, a pitcher of water and a glass… and even though he noticed the tables and chairs were bolted to the floor and the pitcher and glass were actually made of flexible clear plastic, it was still posh for a place they used to grill prisoners.
"Bless my soul," the elderly man who entered breathed. He looked almost human, but instead of hair he had a large, bulbous head with brownish circles all over it. "You really do look just like him. Are we sure this isn't a clever ruse?"
"The scientists are behind their results a hundred percent," the squat, fur-covered man said in a low voice. A Leopardian, maybe? He certainly saw the spots in the fur.
"Very well." The old man sat down across from Mario while the other stayed standing. "Traveler from a distant land, eh? Let's hear it. How'd you get here?"
"Fell through a pipe," Mario began uncomfortably. "Not that it hasn't happened before; warps are pretty much everywhere in the dimension I came from… or world, or reality, or whatever. I'm no Einstein."
"Mmm. And you say this was by accident?" He glanced down at the data pad the other man – likely an assistant – was holding. "I also see you were found on Delfebes by a hunter. Interesting choice of somewhere to pop in, right in the midst of the Space Plumber fortress. Are you sure you're not this Marius character?"
"Same face, different brain. But my name is Mari-O, by the way, if anybody cares."
"And mine is Toadsworth."
Mario grinned, trying not to laugh when he noticed the pince-nez and put two-and-two together. "This is starting to sound more and more like an alternate reality situation. We've got a Toadsworth of our own. Tell me… is there any chance that Peach is nearby?"
"Peach?" A spark of recognition appeared behind his eyes, along with one of curiosity. "Would it be possible that you mean… Supreme Chancellor Peachpittine?"
"If she's the boss around here, it's almost guaranteed." He shifted, then poured himself a glass of water as an excuse to busy his trembling hands. Interrogations are never fun, no matter how genial the interrogator. "You think she'd be willing to meet with me? It'd be nice to see a familiar face."
"Familiar, you say? Just how familiar are you and she in your, er… version of reality?"
Mario blushed. "Hey, not THAT familiar! Just good friends. I swear!"
"Ah," he laughed when he realized how his question had sounded. "No, no, of course you are. Normally my answer would have to be a resounding 'no', but under the circumstances it may be for the best; I know meeting a wayward soul from another universe would be a top priority for her. Ever the diplomat! Also, I happen to know one of her appointments for this afternoon was cancelled, so she has an opening."
"Super! Well, I guess I'll be waiting."
"Yes, I should go and arrange that now before a new conflict arises." He stood, moved to the door, then paused. "Hmm… another Toadsworth…"
Then he was off, and Mario was left to cool his heels in the nice-but-Spartan accommodations.
-o-o-o-o-
"Now announcing the Supreme Chancellor, Leena Peachpittine!"
Mario stood immediately at the herald's thundering announcement, palms sweaty inside his gloves. This made him grateful that he was wearing gloves, as shaking the hand of a high-up figurehead would be even more awkward if it was a soggy handshake, too.
When the chancellor stepped around the corner, he felt his breath snag in his throat. She was Peach, but she was also more somehow. Not to belittle the princess he was more familiar with in any way, but this woman, while bearing the same face, the same eyes, height and stature, was so much more… regal. He found that funny, considering in this realm she wasn't actually royalty in the literal sense. But while Peach had always been a warmer, more outgoing princess, a woman of her people, Peachpittine was so obviously a dignitary that had to live a life apart from her citizens. Her white-blond hair was an elegant structure that he felt a strong breeze could turn to dust, all giant curls and turrets. Her face, on the other hand, only had the bare minimum as far as makeup goes; just enough eyeshadow and blush that she didn't look like she'd simply rolled out of bed. And while Mario guessed she was the same size in every other area, her voluminous official robes made that impossible to know.
"P-pleasure to make your acquaintance," he stammered as he bowed, but he raised his head again when he heard snickering.
"Rise." He obeyed in time to see a small, cherubic smile on her lips. "I'm not an evil dictator, just a politician. Sit, as will I."
They sat. The chancellor did not cross her legs, but sat with them pressed firmly together and her hands clasped in the center of her lap. It was somehow more dignified than if she had sat in any "ladylike" pose. "Very well, good sir, you have everyone's attention. Where is it you hail from?"
Would he have to keep repeating himself until he got out of this place? "Brooklyn, originally… but my current address is the Mushroom Kingdom. Where Princess Peach Toadstool reigns," he added.
Regal eyebrows knitted. "Princess, you say? How quaint. Our republic abolished all monarchies ages ago; they gave rise to some fairly undeserving rulers." Her head cocked to one side. "Toadsworth tells me you knew her intimately."
"Not that intimately," he said again. "But yeah, we had become friends. See – and I hope you don't think I'm bragging or anything – I had become the resident hero to her people, and there's only so many times you can discuss the fate of a kingdom before you start having brunch together, too."
"Naturally. Do go on."
Mario did over the course of half an hour, condensing the more boring details but hitting all the important points about himself and Luigi, the castle, King Koopa's incessant threat. The chancellor listened raptly, hardly betraying any strong feelings about his story, or whether or not she even believed a single word of it. Then, when he was winding up and coming very close to asking if she was even awake, she nodded slightly.
"It sounds as if you've been through a great deal in your lifetime, Mario of Brooklyn. Truly, we cannot take your words at face value blindly, but I am inclined to believe you, at the very least." She tapped her finger against her chin. "I've also received word just before meeting you that every single scan for your DNA, fingerprints and retinal scans have come up dry. You are a non-entity in our universe."
"Great. I'm a real Nowhere Man."
"Hmmh?"
"Brooklyn stuff, nevermind," he said quickly. "So… does that mean I have to stay cooped up in the castle- I mean, senate building?"
"Of course not," she tittered. "But we also cannot remove the tracer you already have. It's a precaution we'd be foolish to forego. On the other hand…" She motioned the squat Leopardian man forward and took a small box from him, which she then handed over. "We'll start you off with a small something."
"Great, an early Christmas gift. And I didn't get you anything!"
Peachpittine's eyebrows knitted as he examined the box, but then her expression clarified. "For the sake of expediency, I'm going to assume that's a Brooklyn and-or Mushroom Kingdom holy day and put it from my mind. No, these would be some temporary documents that declare you a citizen of the Fungalactic Federation. While they will grant you some low-level access and freedoms, they do not hold the full weight of an official pink card."
"Pink?" It certainly was pink, and almost as clear as the business card Luigi – or Ligu – had given him. "Huh, go figure."
"Also, they expire in two months, and validity can be revoked by the government at any time." She shrugged apologetically. "We might turn up new evidence proving that you're the genuine Dr. Marius as soon as tomorrow, mightn't we? I don't truly believe that will happen, but one can never be too careful."
"No, one can't. Thanks anyway, I guess."
"There's also been ten thousand credits deposited into your Bank of Fungalactia account, with restrictions set that they can only be used for the essentials; food, transportation, living quarters… clothes."
This last comment made Mario's face go red. "I'm not really dressed for the locale, am I? Sorry."
"Don't worry about it. Now… leave us." Mario started to rise, and she chuckled, "Forgive the confusion; I was actually speaking to Toadsworth and Raul. I wish for a few private words with you."
Mario found himself without even a rudimentary idea of what was going on while the room emptied. Once they had been alone for a moment or two, Peachpittine strode to a blank wall and manipulated a control he hadn't noticed, which turned a section of the wall clear. After a few moments, he got up the nerve to join her in front of this panel.
"Beautiful, isn't it?" she breathed as they watched hundreds of people walk through the gleaming streets, saw tiny short-range transports fly overhead, watched children playing a game with some sort of hovering sphere near a fountain that depicted a human, a Koopan, a mushroom-like woman (Fungish?), a Cheepanese and a Leopardian all holding the same jar that "magically" produced an endless flow of water. "Fungitropolis, my home and my first love. I actually grew up on 'Roombus Seven, you know; didn't even see this city in person until I was elected to a senate seat. But even as a small girl seeing it in video files, I always thought it was simply astonishing."
"Yeah," he agreed honestly. "It's pretty pretty."
Her nose crinkled. "That too. But I meant its citizenry, what it represents. A technological forerunner of all other planets; a philosophical melting pot and nexus of commerce. It's everything the rest of our galaxy should be, and I one day hope to bring all of Rosetta up to its standards. If this…" She paused and started again. "If this princess of yours truly is a doppelganger of myself, tell me… does she love her kingdom as I love my federation?"
"Like it was her own kid," Mario told her with a grin. "I mean, most of the politicians from my homeworld are just dirty crooks with hidden agendas, but Peach… she's authentic. She really wants to do right by the 'shrooms she rules over, and most of the time she does."
"Splendid." She turned and looked directly into his eyes, and he fought the urge to look away out of modesty and respect. "It's strange… half the time, I doubt everything you tell me, it's so fantastical and far-fetched, but… in you, I also sense this unquantifiable camaraderie. Not because of Dr. Marius's picture in news broadcasts, but just… it's as if I truly do know you through the other me somehow, even though this is only the first time I've met you. Isn't that utter nonsense?"
"Maybe. Not like I got a clue how any of this can be happening, either."
At that, she nodded. When her hand reached out and touched his chest briefly, only as light as a downy feather landing on it would be, he tensed, but then she withdrew it and turned to the window. "You are free to go. The guards will point you toward the exit. If you should wish to visit again I cannot guarantee you will be admitted, but I'll see to it it's more likely than it would be for most of the populace. Do keep us up to date if you find out anything more concrete about your trip through a wormhole."
"That's my goal. I was told Gaddologic Space Labs might have some answers?"
Another nod. "Yes, I've met their director; brilliant man, if a touch eccentric. I'll send word along to expect you."
"Thanks." They both stood in silence for a few seconds before Mario gave a fumbling bow and turned to leave. He had just reached the door when he heard her clear her throat. "Hmm?"
"I…" Another long pause. "It was an honor meeting such a valiant hero from another universe, Mario of Brooklyn. I hope this parting is not final."
"Likewise, Chancellor."
At that she turned hurriedly, hand at her chest. "Call me Leena. It-" Then she seemed to recover and angled her face back in the direction of her window. "Well, if you were on a first-name basis with my counterpart, it's only practical."
"Leena, then," he said, trying not to blush at such an elegant creature giving him permission to address her like a friend. It was a welcome change from being ordered to address Officer Oran with as little familiarity as possible. "See you around."
"I intend to."
Those parting words were somehow more ominous than warming, but when she didn't elaborate Mario quickly ducked out of the room and hurried away.
*To Be Continued!*
NOTES: Workin it, workin it. Trying to eat coal and crap diamonds, yknow? Thanks for the review phanthom theif kid! After this comes Mario's struggle to get home...
