Hopelessly Devoted: Part II, ch 3
Trust, Part I
°o°o°o°o°o°
Abe had not discussed his goals worksheet with Mihashi. It made the latter uneasy when he noticed, but Abe was so good at deflecting the topic that he couldn't manage to ask why.
Abe had known for a long time that Mihashi's desire was to go pro, if for nothing else then... what else would the boy do with himself? Its not like he had academic skills or, really, any other skills to get him into a university or a job. The day Abe had brought Mihashi the worksheet, the pitcher had been under the impression that they would do them both together.
"You want to go pro, don't you?" Abe asked as Mihashi began looking it over.
Mihashi looked up at Abe, embarrassed.
"It's okay, you don't have to be shy about it."
Mihashi fiddled with the edge of the paper. "You...think I'm...good enough?"
"Of course I do!" he replied a little too loudly.
"Ah..." Mihashi said, turning pink with satisfaction at the support. He digressed into a giddy little murmur that Abe tolerated for a long minute before snapping his fingers to get his attention back.
"You need to fill out the whole thing, though," Abe said. "After the first choice, you need two secondary choices. Then there's a part about what you need to do in the next month, and five and eight months in order to do it."
Mihashi just stared at Abe.
"Ren, are you listening?" he said, impatiently.
"What about..." Mihashi began, tilting his head a little, "What about Takaya's...?"
"Hmm?" the catcher replied, surprised. "Don't worry about me. Just focus on your own."
Mihashi shrunk a little at what was intended to be a caring statement.
Don't worry about me.
He said it so much, there was not much else Mihashi could do but worry. The feeling was strong as ever today, when each class had to hand to in the worksheets. It wasn't fair that Abe knew all of Mihashi's dreams, but Mihashi knew none of his.
The worksheets were the predictable topic at lunch that day.
"No one has to ask you, Tajima," Izumi said over his bento. "We all know you want to go pro."
"But do you know for who?" he said while he encroached on Mihashi's edible territory with his chopsticks.
"If Abe catches you eating Mihashi's lunch, you're a dead man," Izumi droned. "And what do you mean, 'who?'"
"My goal is to play for the Seibu Lions!" he beamed.
Hamada reeled back. "You actually put who you want to play for as your goal?"
Tajima rolled his eyes. "Obviously."
A sigh resounded among them, wondering how Tajima continued to phase them with his brazenness.
"But why Seibu? With your talent, you could start for the Giants," Izumi continued.
"I'd have to be far away from my family," he said, in that serious voice he only had when he was thinking about his grandparents. "I can stay in Saitama if I play for the Lions."
Ah yes, Izumi thought. That incident with his grandfather had imbued Tajima with a sense of fear about wandering too far from home.
"Mihashi, you want to go pro, right?" Tajima asked.
He nodded in reply, watching Tajima's chopsticks carefully. "You can't have the hot dogs."
"Tsh," he grumbled, retreating. "Who do you want to play for, then?"
Mihashi shook his head this time. "It doesn't matter, as long as I can pitch."
Hamada laughed a little, touched at the predictability of the guy. "You've always cheered for the Lions, though."
"What about Abe, then?" Izumi interjected.
Mihashi sighed. He hadn't meant to, but caught himself when he did. "I...um...d...don't...know..." he stammered.
His companions were torn between expressing their disbelief and being mad at Abe, and changing the subject so as not to impound Mihashi's apparent grief.
They got to do neither, though, when Mizutani came crashing into the room.
"Guys! Did Hanai come by here?" he asked urgently.
All four shook their heads.
"What's the problem?" Hamada asked.
"Chiba got in a fight!" he replied before tearing down the hallway again.
°o°o°o°o°o°
Practice was a little disorganized that afternoon.
When Momokan showed up, she immediately ambushed Hanai, and the two stood, talking animatedly but seriously for a good ten minutes before Hamada showed up and joined them for another twenty.
During that time, the rest of the seniors convened on the mound.
"I saw the whole thing," Mizutani said. "It was scary!"
The team pressed in, waiting for more.
He relayed the tale.
Mizutani was actually coming down the hall to ask something of Izumi, but crossed paths with Chiba, who was leaning against the wall, arms crossed and nonplussed, with a small gaggle of senior girls around her.
He slowed, pretending not to look.
"You think you're pretty big, huh?" one girl said (a very good looking, but fierce girl named Nadeshiko.) "An underclassman dating the captain of the baseball team?"
Chiba rolled her eyes. "What is that even supposed to mean?" she asked.
"Tsh," the girl, obviously the ringleader, replied, throwing back her long black hair. "The stupid cross-dresser with the perm thinks she can do whatever she wants. I think we know better, don't we, girls?"
"Can I go now? I'm kind of hungry," Chiba mused.
"Don't act so smart, bitch!" Nadeshiko said. "We know your little secret."
"That I'm secretly a fujoshi?"
The gang stared, and even Mizutani had given up on being inconspicuous long enough to stare as well.
"W...what? No? Who the fuck cares about that? The other secret, Ojou-sama."
"Ooooh. That one," Chiba said with a chuckle. "Yeah, and...? What do you intend to do about it?"
"Hmm," Nadeshiko said, perking up. "We'd be happy to tell the whole school, and other schools too, if you don't break up with Hanai-sama."
"Seriously? Girls still do that? Self-righteous fan clubs? You know, he'd never go for a girl who called him 'sama' anyway, right?"
"And you know how easy it is to get barred from Koshien stadium, right?" she replied, a glint in her eye.
For the first time during the whole altercation, Chiba stiffened.
It was at that moment that Mizutani caught her eye. Her countenance shifted, as if she had an idea.
"I do, actually," she said, cracking her knuckles. The other girls couldn't hide that they were a little startled. They were cowards, after all.
"And I think," she said, voice low and rough, "you don't want to find out."
Even Mizutani jumped when she said this.
"So I suggest you stop putting pins in my shoes and throwing my books in the fountain. Knowing my connections, you should really be aware that it takes a little more than that to scathe me." She pushed through the gaping, shuddering crowd of girls. "You should also know that I'm capable of doing a lot worse back," she said, facing away from them. "If everyone knew about me anyway, what's to stop me from settling the score?"
Nadeshiko was red with anger, desperate to save face.
And desperate people do stupid things.
Nadeshiko's stupid thing turned out to be grabbing Chiba by the hair.
"Wait," Izumi said, "What was all that about being called 'Ojou-sama' and connections and stuff?"
"I have no idea!" Mizutani replied.
"Hanai's never said anything about something like that," Abe added.
"Maybe she's some kind of heiress? Dad's a politician?"
"Then why would she be at a school like this?"
"MIZUTANI!" Momoe shouted, waving him over. He glanced nervously at his teammates before joining the small huddle in the dugout.
The rest of them kind of stared over, watching Mizutani describe the fight. Even though they couldn't hear what he was saying, they were getting a pretty good idea from his movements, and even more from the winces Momoe and Hamada gave him. Hanai grew paler as the reenactment went on.
Momoe said something to Hamada, who looked sullen. He nodded at her, and then left the field.
Hanai landed himself on the bench dramatically, and put his forehead in his hands.
Momoe must have told him to go home, because the next thing they knew, Hanai was headed out of the gate.
°o°o°o°o°o°
The short of it was, as Momoe explained, Chiba had fought back so ruthlessly that Nadeshiko was sent to the hospital. The long of it was that they had to essentially have nothing to do with the entirety of the Oendan. This was not something that Shiga-sensei had made considerations for, but his earlier decision to refuse club status to the cheer group was proving useful in this very situation. If they weren't part of the team, they wouldn't cause trouble for them at Koshien.
The seniors knew that all going to Hanai's house was probably a bad idea. The captain probably wanted to be alone, and might be talking to his girlfriend on the phone, for all they knew.
But someone had to go and make sure he was okay. Initially, Tajima attempted at elect himself, but the rest of the team shot him down. Tajima was probably the last person in the world that would put Hanai in a better mood, after all. Abe was the most obvious choice, being co-captain and more solid of a personality than Sakaeguchi. He accepted the responsibility, to Mihashi's dismay (mostly because he'd been anxious for a moment alone to speak with his catcher, and partly out of childish jealousy.) A parting kiss quelled the pitcher's irritation, and elicited mocking coos from the rest of the team.
Hanai's mother greeted him at the door.
"Abe...kun," she said, "What can I do for you at this hour?"
"I'm sorry to bother you so late," he replied, "but I was hoping to speak to Azusa for a moment."
furrowed her brows worriedly. "He's a bit upset about something tonight. Been holed up in his room. I don't know that he wants to speak to anyone."
"May I just ask him?" Abe said. "I'm sorry to be pushy, but, if he's that upset, I think I especially need to talk to him."
After a considerate pause, relented, and opened the door.
"Hanai? It's Abe. Let me in," Abe said at the captain's door, unapologetically.
"Yeah, it's open," Hanai replied, after a beat of consideration. When Abe opened the door, he saw Hanai sitting on his floor against his bed, looking at an opened English book in his hands.
"Stop pretending to be reading," Abe said, sitting down after closing the door behind him.
"Tsh," Hanai mumbled, tossing the book aside.
"How are you doing?" Abe began.
"Fine," Hanai lied.
"Try again."
Hanai raised an eyebrow. Abe wasn't in the mood to screw around. If this was how it was going to be, he'd have to spill. He didn't have the energy for a word battle with Abe.
"I don't know what to do," he said, more honestly.
"What do you mean, what to do?" Abe pressed.
"I mean," Hanai started, sighing, and pulling off his reading glasses before beginning again, "I don't know what's going on with Kumiko."
Abe squinted for a second, before deducing that Kumiko was probably Chiba's first name.
"I didn't even know she was being bullied. She never said anything. I could have done something."
"Hanai, that's probably why she didn't tell you, don't you think? She's not the type to have her boyfriend clean up her problems."
"I know that, but she couldn't even mention it? It's just, she's got all these secrets. I..."
"Hanai, is this 'Ojou-sama' thing one of those secrets? Can I ask?"
Hanai sighed again. "Probably." He scratched the back of his neck, and leaned back against his bed. "She's never let me go to her house and she doesn't talk about her family."
Abe's heart quickened when he heard the despair in Hanai's voice. It was a hard thing to not feel trusted by the person you loved.
"You've never been to her house?"
"No."
"So you haven't met her parents? After a year?"
Hanai heaved a sigh.
Abe shook his head. "Have you tried to call her?"
"A few times," Hanai answered. "Then I stopped. She doesn't seem to want to talk to me."
Abe got up and sat back down next to Hanai, who looked at him, a little surprised.
"I'm sorry, Hanai," Abe said. "But she was probably suspended, so maybe she can't talk on the phone."
Hanai didn't respond, save rubbing the bridge of his nose with his fingers.
"We were all worried about you, you know."
"I know," Hanai said. "I appreciate it."
They sat there for a moment, and then Hanai submitted himself to a moment of vulnerability and leaned his head on Abe's shoulder. Abe stiffened for only a moment, then relaxed.
It wasn't Mihashi, but it was okay. In context, it was totally okay. But he still blushed a little.
"I can't keep loving someone who keeps so many secrets," Hanai said. "It's too exhausting."
Abe nodded, suddenly thinking of Mihashi, and the secrets he was keeping from him.
"You'll figure it out, Hanai. Don't worry." Abe patted Hanai's hand with his, in a forced 'buddy-buddy' kind of gesture that was in opposition to holding his hand, which in their current position, he thought might be interpreted as a come-on.
He was over thinking it, but he was also desperately thinking of Mihashi.
Loving someone who kept secrets was exhausting, wasn't it?
°o°o°o°o°o°
It was around one in the morning when Hanai shifted out of sleep enough to notice the tapping on his window. He rubbed his eyes and looked up just in time to see another pebble ricochet off of his window pane.
"Are you fucking kidding me, Tajima?" He mumbled, stumbling over to the window.
But it wasn't Tajima. Chiba looked up at him from the front lawn, face and arms bandaged up, waving meekly. He took only a moment to process what he was seeing, and then tiptoed out of the house as fast as he could.
"Kumiko!" he said, hushed. "What are you...?"
"Azu..." she said, looking more vulnerable than he had ever seen her look.
"Hey, Hey," he said putting his arms around her. "It's okay."
"But it's not," she whispered into his shirt. He leaned back to look at her. The sky was clear and the moon was bright, and he could see her fairly clearly for the dead of night.
"Kumi?" She had started off cool, but immediately began breaking down.
"I almost fucked up your chance at Koshien, Azu. And I would have, if we were an official club. And now I have to move, and..." she trailed, getting choked up. Hanai squeezed her hands.
"...and you're probably so pissed at me right now..." she said, tears forming at the edges of her eyes.
"Kumiko, just relax. I'm not pissed. Sit down. Calm down. We can take care of this." He sat her down on the curb and pet her hair as she regained her composure.
"I'm sorry," she finally said.
"Don't be sorry, Kumi. Just talk to me, okay?"
She nodded.
"How are your injuries?"
"What injuries?" she said, honestly surprised. When Hanai raised his eyebrow, she looked at herself and stammered "Oh. Oh, this isn't anything. Just some bruises. My scalp hurts, though. She pulled my hair a lot."
"I hear you did quite a number on her."
"Oh yeah," she said, though she didn't sound proud. "Now she has injuries..."
Hanai shook his head. "Kumiko, what was this all about?"
"Ah..." she said, looking down. "Well, she fancied herself queen of your little fanclub, and decided I was unworthy of you."
"Kumiko, why did you get in a fight with her?"
"Because she pulled my hair."
Hanai huffed a little. "Kumi...please. I can't... handle you hiding things from me anymore."
"Azu...I..."
"Kumi, if I know there are times when you're not telling me the whole truth, I won't know when you are. If I can't trust you, I'll get exhausted."
"But does it matter now? I told you I was moving."
"Kumiko, you said you were moving, not that we were breaking up."
"But I-"
"Though we might if you don't start telling me what the hell is going on!" He said this a little too loudly, his temper broken.
There was a beat of stunned silence.
"Fuck, Azu," she said, upset that he'd raised his voice.
"Sorry. Look, What is the deal with your family? What was she trying to blackmail you with? Tell me the truth already."
She sighed. She rubbed her face with her hands, and then lay down on the cement of the sidewalk, hands still over her face.
"My family's yakuza, Hanai," she moaned through her palms.
Hanai only blinked.
"Did you hear me?"
Hanai jumped. "Oh, yeah. I heard you."
"My stupid family is involved with hustlers and gamblers.
"How are you related?"
"I might have to kill you if I told you," she said.
"Bullshit."
She laughed a little, for the first time since the conversation started. "My dad is the second to one of the prefectural bosses based in Saitama."
"What family?" Hanai asked, a little taken aback at the easy way yakuza lingo rolled off of her tongue.
"Inagawa Kai."
"Huh," Hanai said, because the name didn't mean much to him, not knowing anything about Yakuza families in the first place.
"Azu, I know it was stupid for me to keep it from you."
"Good," he said, a little condescendingly. She jumped up.
"But it's Yakuza! I was never allowed to tell anyone, ever, and I didn't know what you'd think."
"You took me to comiket, Kumi. Comiket. And you were worried about what I'd think?"
She paused because it took a second for her to realize it was supposed to be funny.
"Was comiket that scary?"
"Kumi, I was horrified. I'd sooner look your boss in the face than have another yaoi doujinshi shoved in my face. A hundred times."
She laughed hard at that one.
"Kumi, look," he said, taking her hand into his own. "I don't care and I won't tell anybody."
She nodded, gratefully. "Thanks, Azu."
He leaned in a little. "And you know what else?"
"Hmm?"
"I think it's kinda hot...that you're yakuza."
Chiba laughed heartily. "I'm not a gangster or anything, Azu..."
"Do you have tattoos?" he growled, nuzzling his face into the crook of her neck.
"You'd know if I did, you pervert," she said, embracing him.
They hugged and kissed for a short while, and after a good minute, someone cleared their throat a few paces away.
Hanai looked up to see a tall, gruff looking fellow looking down on them. He froze.
"Oh, Azu. I have to go. I'm totally not supposed to be out."
"Yeah," he said, still a little scared, and currently reconsidering his big talk about taking yakuza over doujinshi.
They stood up, and she said, "Azu, this is brother Yoshi. Yoshi, this is Hanai Azusa."
Hanai shivered, and Yoshi grunted.
"Azu, they told me if I ever got into trouble they'd send me off to another private school. I don't know when I'll see you again."
"I don't care, Kumi. Just call, okay? Don't ignore me. We will make it work, okay?"
She nodded, and gave him a quick peck on the cheek before joining Yoshi. "I will. I promise." She began walking away with him, and another scary fellow that emerged from the bushes.
Suddenly, she turned, and called out as she walked, "Hey! Azu! If you get lonley, you should sleep with Tajima!"
Hanai balked. "W...what?"
"And send me pictures!" she shouted, laughing.
Hanai looked around, desperate for grounding- then his mind churned a bit, and before she was out of sight, he hollered,
"CHIBA! YOU CAN'T SLASH REAL PEOPLE YOU FREAK!"
°o°o°o°o°o°
Two nights before Mihashi's birthday, Abe was over for dinner. The dinner was amiable, and they talked with his parents about practice matches and the new freshmen and a little bit about school.
After they went to bed, and Abe was pretty sure Mihashi's parents were asleep, he crawled into Mihashi's bed.
"Takaya! You can't-"
"Don't worry, Ren," he said, silencing him with a peck on the forehead. "I just want to talk to you."
"Talk?"
"About your birthday."
Mihashi's eyes widened, and then he nodded, obedient and eager.
"We're going to Gunma. We're staying at a place with hot spring tomorrow night. Then we can visit your relatives up there on your birthday."
Mihashi was stunned.
"T...Takaya..."
"I hope it's okay."
"Ah...yes! Yes, Takaya, but-"
"But what?" He sat up, concerned that something might be wrong.
"How much... did it cost...?" he mumbled nervously.
The edge of Takaya lips tightened.
"Don't ask something like that about your birthday present!" He said a little too loudly.
"But...it..."
"I saved up money, okay? Don't worry about it."
"M...my parents don't...mind that you..."
"You're eighteen now," Abe replied. "Or will be. Soon. They said they don't care what you choose to do outside of the house."
"A...ah."
"Ren?"
"Takaya," he said, leaning forward to kiss him.
"Mmn," he mumbled through his lover's lips until they parted. "You like it?"
Mihashi only raised his eyebrows, and leaned in for another kiss.
Maybe this time, Takaya would understand the answer.
It was a very good present.
°o°o°o°o°o°
End of chapter 3.
Chapter four is going to be a whole lot of lemons. Get ready for some hot spring fun, folks.
