I waited and asked myself what the rest of my life would be like, and I was not liking the answer I had given myself.
Today I will wed. Today I will wed. Today I will wed.
I couldn't stop repeating to myself. It was so hard to wrap my mind around that today I would lose every semblance of the small amount of freedom I had. I cannot believe that today is the day I will no longer be the woman I've always known myself as. I will no longer be Clarissa Morgenstern in a few hours I will be Clarissa Herondale.
I wrap my arms around myself at the thought of losing my name. I know it may sound stupid but my name is all I have left. My name is the only thing still tying me to my brothers. The brothers that will never see my wedding day. The brothers that will never meet their nieces or nephews. I can't help but let a few tears loose.
KNOCK. KNOCK. KNOCK. KNOCK. "Princess it's time to ready you for your big day!" An excited voice called from just outside the door.
"Come in."
The door swung open to reveal Izzy standing with a huge box at her feet. She started to speak to me as she wandered about my room rummaging through drawers looking for things to lay on the vanity. I couldn't focus on a word all I was thinking about was how life would be with this cruel man I would be forever bound to.
"Clary! Have you been listening at all? I wanted to ask if you were—Clary?"
I could feel the tears running down my face but I could do nothing to stop them I was frozen. I was immobile.
"Oh Clary," Izzy's voice was laced with sadness and pity. "Oh, what's wrong I thought you would be happy so many girls would love to be where you are now. Surely, you've seen my cousin. Most women swoon over him."
I was appalled how could someone swoon over someone so cruel? So heartless? So, I vocalized my concern. "I've never even heard the man's first name how would I have seen him. How could any woman in her right mind swoon over someone so cold? It doesn't matter how good-looking he may be, I will never swoon over the likes of Jace Herondale. Not after what he has done."
Isabelle just gave me an astonished look and a slight nod before turning back to the vanity and continuing to lay out all the powders and pins. She turned back to face me and gestured for me to come sit in the chair in front of the mirror. "It's time," she whispered sadly.
Perhaps I sat there for 2 hours while Isabelle did her best to fix my hair in a way that the prince would like and do my makeup in an elegant and classy manner.
My eyelids a shimmery gold, seeing as gold was the color for a bride and groom to wear on their wedding here in Idris, as Izzy had explained. My lips a natural color that brought color to my face. My cheeks a natural rosy pink. I looked beautiful, so sad that such beautiful makeup was to be wasted on such a horrid day.
Next was the dress. I learned that the large box is what contained my dress. It was massive to say the least. It was a gorgeous gold with white lace embroideries on the bottom and the bodice was covered in shining gold glitter and jewels. It took my breath away. The skirt was full and it had a ballgown flow to it. It was a strapless number with a sweetheart neckline and I noticed that the bodice was in fact a corset. I couldn't help but think it was there as a small reminder that I was under his control and that I was his to torture or do with as he pleased.
I stood to rid myself of the night clothes I was still wearing when Izzy stopped me.
"Before you remove anything there is another Idrisian tradition you should know about," she said. She turned back to the box and pulled out two pieces of gold lingerie, but they both connected in a way that put to hoop like structures one either hip.
"I don't understand. Lingerie is a tradition for the wedding night in a lot of countries why is this one special?"
That is when I started to panic because next Isabelle pulled out two gold locks. She looked at my sympathetically. "Because, in Idris it is locked on to you," she said in a very serious tone. "It can only be taken off to consummate the marriage. And to make matters worse, Jace is the only one who has the keys."
"No, no, this can't be true there is no way that is correct." I was stunned. What kind of place was this?
"I'm so sorry Clary I've been instructed to get the guards for help if you refuse. They were expecting you to be stubborn and fight back. You have to put it on and I have to lock it."
I nodded holding back a fresh flow of tears as the knot in my throat grew larger and larger. I stripped down to nothing and held out my hand for Izzy to give me the garment, all the while covering the branding on my right shoulder as best I could without touching it.
Isabelle handed me the clothing and I turned away from her so I would not have to worry about her seeing my mark, still fresh red and angry against my pale white skin. I had completely forgotten the mirror and to my horror upon removing my hand from the reshaped flesh there was a very audible gasp from Izzy.
Grabbing my good shoulder, she spun me to inspect it. She reached to touch it as if she couldn't believe it was real, and I flinched away when she did. "Has anyone come to check this, or clean it?" She was outraged.
"No," I whispered. "I'd rather no one see it at all, to be quite honest."
"THAT BASTARD," Izzy yelled. "I KNEW THERE HAD TO BE SOME REASON HE SPECIFICALLY ASKED THAT YOU WEAR A STRPLESS GOWN. HE WANTS VERYONE TO SEE. HE WANTS THEM ALL TO KNOW HES MARKED YOU WITH HIS NAME."
I cowered from her, shrinking in on myself and finally realizing that she was right. Everyone would see the, whole court, including my parents. I was dumb struck. I had no more words or tears left. So, I did all there was left to do, and I gave in.
I snatched the lingerie from Izzy and put it on. I took her hand and gave her the dropped locks for her to apply them. I waited for her to ready the dress. And once I could, I stepped into my wedding dress and looked at myself in the mirror one final time before I Would have to go out there and marry the man I was terrified to face. But now was not the time for fear, I had to be stronger now than I ever was before. I looked amazing, Izzy had done miracles. Aside from the thing on my shoulder I was ravishing.
"We need to go Clary."
"Alright Izzy, take me to him."
She grabbed ahold of my hand and took me through twists and turns and at one point I'd thought we'd gone in a circle but, Izzy always looked ahead as thought she had the way to the great ball room memorized. Which I wouldn't be surprised if she did.
There was a short round woman awaiting us at the large oak doors. She held black heels and a black bouquet of roses, another tradition I guess. As I place the shoes on my feet Izzy explains that just through the doors there is a grand staircase that I will have to descend before I get to the actual aisle.
"Are you ready, dearie," the stout woman asks me.
I look straight ahead at the doors in front of me and say," As I'll ever be."
Izzy knocks once lightly on the door as she and the woman step out of the way. "Good luck," she whispers.
The doors open slowly and I hear the sweet sound od violins playing as I start my descent. I keep my head held high but my eyes look at the ground. I can pretend to be confident as long as I don't see the expressions of people as they see the sweltering blister that is my right shoulder.
I reach the aisle and finally I look straight ahead at the man in front of me. He is looking at me in astonishment and I take slight pride in that. He smiles at me until I reach the end of the aisle. The ceremony goes by fairly quickly there are no vows exchanged like the weddings I have witnessed in Alicante, but our hands were tied together and a golden liquid, or "angels blood" as the priest called it, was poured onto our bound hands. There are no wedding bands exchanged either, though during a part of the ceremony Jace was handed the keys to my undergarments. Needless to say, I was mortified.
At the end I finally allowed myself to actually study his face. If I had no prior experience with the man I would say that he was the most handsome thing on the planet. All gold, his eyes, his hair, his skin. He was breathtaking. Beautiful bone structure and I itched to draw his features.
The priest finally said something in a different language which must have meant to kiss the bride because suddenly Jace was leaning toward me. He grabbed my waist his large hand practically reaching all the way around me and his lips came down to capture mine.
We walked together now down the aisle to another room for a reception of sorts. There was a feast already laid out on a separate table than the rest at the center of the room. And on a small dais sat two thrown like chars behind a very large table.
Once we were seated people came to our table to offer us gifts some wrapped in pretty boxes and some just handed to s outright. I watched as the line diminished the only people left were my parent and Michael.
My parents approached and gave me a beautifully wrapped box for just me and another larger decorated box for Jace and I. I thanked them and told them that I loved and would miss them which led to my mother letting a few tears loose and my father giving me a sad smile.
Michael did something similar but he gave me a long thin box. Jace received a thick fat box and a large basket was for the both of us. I thanked him in spite of the event that occurred the first time I had met the man.
We sat and ate in silence while we ate, but then it was time to dance and the silence was broken when Jace took me and situated us in the center of the dance floor. "You look gorgeous," he said, sounding sincere.
"Thank you, your highness."
He looked at me with a confused look written across his face. "You don't need to call me that we are married."
I looked down at the floor. "Yes, sir. It won't happen again," I replied quickly hoping his confusion would not turn to anger.
"Clarissa, you need only call me Jace. You do not need to call me sir." I was surprised to hear this. I was under the impression that he wanted nothing to do with me other than have me as his play thing. No, that has to still be the case. This is just a ploy to get me to trust him.
The night droned on and Jace and I did not speak for the rest of the night. I watched as slowly people started to leave the ball room in favor of their cozy homes. I was starting to feel the nerves and fear that come with the night that is still to come.
Eventually, it was time for Jace and I to head to the room we would share. As we headed up the step I started to panic. I had no idea what to do with myself and I did not plan ahead enough earlier to ready myself. Before I knew it, I was standing in front of the bed in my new room looking at the gold silk sheets that adorned the mattress.
The last thing I hear before I turn to face my now husband it the slamming of our bedroom door and the sound of keys jingling.
FYI guys I made and Instagram: Eliza.c.h_writes
So, we made it to 15! Next chapter won't be up until we get 7 more and I think we can do it! There are like 24 people who follow this story so, if you all let me know how you feel about it, the chapters will all be up a lot sooner. If you have any questions about me or the story leave a review and ask away!
Until next time my little Nephilim
Love,
Eliza
