Jane

Chapter three

Lose control


rubbing alcohol, bandages, casts, IV drips, and the ugly dull green and white

I remember being put under that same cheep anesthetic yet again, being told by many people that I really have to stop getting attacked by bears, I remember staying in the hospital a long, long time, long enough that slowly the flowers wilted and disappeared. I saw my father for the first time in ages, he came and visited me a few times in the beginning, prudently refusing to bring up the reason behind me leaving his home. Never once did I see Carlisel, and as far as I can tell, he didn't even know I was there. I think that is the case, or he would have certainly smothered me with a pillow in my sleep. At most have been many months at the very least, possibly a year before I got out. They were worried about my fever. Ha! Of course I couldn't just say that werewolves run hot. Such a thing would surely get me committed, or worse, put in a convent. The first thing I do upon my discharge is go back to my cabin, my new home, in the woods, and clean it. I find in disgust that there are smears of my own blood, back from that fight with Emmet, everywhere in the small dwelling. I clean, then fill my pack with a change of clothes and a few medical supplies. I am as healed as I ever will be; I have a score to settle. I make my way to the Cullen's again, this time being direct. I knock on the front door. I shouldn't be surprised that it is Rosaline that answers.

Her eyes squint in confusion as she tries to place my marred face.
You don't remember my name.

"Who are you?" She asks with mild embarrassment. I note that the black clothing is gone, and she is wearing a deep blue dress.
I don't really care.

"Your worst nightmare." I intone. She intakes a sharp breath of air through her nostrils, then her eyes widen in both recognition and fear. She peers to the busy street behind me. There is no way she can do anything to harm me so long as I stay where I am. Not that I intend to do that.

"What do you want?" she hisses through closed teeth.

"With you I shall violently display what you deserve upon your sinful flesh.
Can we play the game your way?

Where and when you meet your demise is of your own choosing."

The beautiful demon masquerading as a fair woman stops for a moment, thinking over my words.

"The graveyard. Where Emmet is. That was he can see you fall. He deserves that much at least."

I openly yawn, flaunting my carelessness. "And when?" I ask, cleaning my nails.

There is a flicker moving down the stairs, and the small woman, the one betrothed to the quiet magicks worker of emotions, stares at me in fear, then understanding. "On Saturday night, tomorrow, you disappear Rose..." she turns towards me, but continues to speak to Rosaline, as if I am not there. "I thought you already put this dog down."

"Apparently not..."Rosaline snarls. She turns back to me. "Saturday it is. Three in the morning, when no one will hear your death cries."

With her barbed remarks stabbing me in the back, I leave. I almost voice my thoughts of her being even less than the normal dog, a biting bitch, but decide that to do so would only be petty. I return once again to my cabin, and decide to train. I charge my ancient cell phone as I work.

Something odd is happening. I have a target that I am focusing on, deciding that it is Rosaline. I didn't know that I had so much anger towards her until now. True, she tried to leave me to die, but still...all before me is bathed in red, then black. I feel my fists trembling as I turn.
Can I really lose control?
I will myself to remain calm enough to have rational thought. Slowly I regulate my breathing, and my vision returns. I almost regret my self possession.
Just once in my life,

I think it'd be nice,
I doubt that I shall be able to maintain this composure when I duel with Rosaline tomorrow eve. That should be fun. Right now I can't have that happen. I need to conserve my energies and gather the few bits of knowledge that I know of fighting the damned.
Just to lose control, just once,

My saliva is acid.
My blows merely stun them, where in a human it would surely crush bone.
They move fast, faster than me, but only in sprints
Rosaline will be easily distracted if I make comments about her deceased lover.

I make my way home. I set my cell phone to alarm me of the hour at 2:30 in the morning, that should give me time adequate enough to make it to the graveyard the next evening. Oddly enough, that is the next sound I hear, the musical chime of my cellular phone. I am confused, yet feel ever so well rested. It seems that being on my own cot and in the safety of my own cabin gives me the security required to sleep a full 24 hours. I quickly eat some bread that I bought the day before, saying a simple grace as i break the bread. I wash it down with some water and leave, bringing with me my pack.

I make it to the graveyard and see Rosaline kneeling in front of one of the tombs, head bent in prayer.
With all the pretty flowers in the dust.

I am disgusted at the idea of such a creature of the devil trying to communicate with the lord, My Lord, and thereby decide to interrupt her 'holy' thoughts. I recall a nursery rhyme from my childhood, and twist it accordingly to the situation.

"Mary had a lamb.
His eyes black as coals.
If we play very quiet, my lamb,
Mary never has to know.

Do you miss your little lamb, Mary?" I ask Rosaline mockingly."You know, your black eyed lamb and I had a lot of fun before he died. I think you will even be more fun."

She stands, and dusts the dirt from her knees. "Keep Emmet out of this."

I laugh. "Make me. You know, we were going to have a different kind of fun, but then I turned, and realized how little I wanted to do with him." I was lying of course, but she had no way of knowing that. She blocked her ears with her hands.

"Stop it." she warned."He would never have done such a thing!"

I grin wickedly. "Then why did he come to the clearing? Why did he die? Answer yourself that Rosaline."

She lunges at me, and this time I allow my instincts to over ride me. Last time it was I who initiated the fight, but this time I was attacked. I allow myself to drift in the sea of black, occasionally hearing snippets from the outside world.
Just once in my life,
I think it'd be nice,
Just to lose control, just once.

Not having control is wonderful, guiltless. I'm sure that God created it this way. I feel no sting of sin. I also do not find the Lord's prayer on my lips. I am not injured. Such are the thoughts that occupy my mind as I struggle with Roseline. I am suddenly stunned out of my perfect bubble of darkness and peace. I look and find my teeth at Roseline's throat, my body pinning hers. I win. I start to clamp down, but hear her whisper. I stop, interested mildly in what she might want to say.

"Use me. I can get you at the rest of the Cullen Coven. Don't kill me. I'll be useful, I promise."

I laugh, and make sure she is pinned well as I remove my teeth from her neck.

"If I cut you down to a thing I can use,
I fear there will be nothing good left of you."
I mutter, then bite down. Her scream dies before it can start, and I leave her there, bleeding on her lover's grave.

I promised you Roseline, and I always keep my promises. Carlisel? You're next.


My most sincere apologies for the wait I put you through.