Hey all, a long overdue update. It's bank holiday weekend and I know I will be super busy so I am getting some updates in.

I realised I haven't replied to reviews for this story. Or at least I don't think I have so some collective replies here:

lindsayhonaker - Yes I agree Clary has every right to find someone else because he has never made a confession to her. Clary and Jace well ... it's confusing for them. This update today is one side of the story. I wonder if I should post the other.

Guest reviewers - thanks for all your encouragement. Here I am updating for you!

pwincessbebe - I'm glad you find it interesting. I have mapped out the next couple of chapters ... but I am rethinking the later ones. I need more time to develop these characters but I hope you enjoy the update. Also ... I'm glad you liked the second chapter. Here's an update.

tspiker0713 - here I am delivering a big bag of more ... updates will be coming more frequently now hopefully

InfernoAlive - Haha I'm glad you liked Jace's cockiness ... it is one of his qualities that I love to play with. I'm so glad you liked 'kiss kiss' it is my baby... I hope you're reading the sequel 'never let me go'.

kalexander1984 - I'm glad you're enjoying it

harpreetjudge10 - Thanks lovely. Here's an update for you

Bolero127 - thank you for reviewing all of my stories. Here's an update for you :)

Okay so in this chapter we get to look inside Jace's head a little bit.

Enjoy x

Jace looks down at the sleeping form next to him. He pulls her closer enjoying the feeling of having her in his arms more than ever. They have been asleep for a few hours and he knows they should get up but can't bring himself to wake her.

He feels her stir next to him and he yawns. He can't quite believe what had happened. Never in his wildest dreams had he expected to be able to fulfil one of his deepest darkest fantasies.

I mean it was Clary. She knew every dirty secret he had and still chose to be his best friend. And he would be lying if over the years he hasn't dreamt about being with her more than once. But he couldn't bring himself to just in case he hurt her or she rejected him. He had channelled his pent up frustration the only way he knew how. Exercise and other women. But after the events of the morning he couldn't imagine it any other way. It felt surreal. Too good to be true.

Just lying here with her in his arms knowing she was his was the most peaceful he had felt for a very long time. It was a strange yet perfect feeling. He was almost rueful that that when they both woke up it would be back to reality. A reality where she wasn't really his. They had both been so caught up in the moment that thinking hadn't really come into the equation. Not really. He knew that much.

He closes his eyes and pulls her even closer. Savouring the last few moments of peace. Hoping against hope that when she wakes up she will want to be with him too. He has never felt so emotionally raw as he has now as if the slightest rejection could tip him over the edge.

He takes a deep breath and steels himself as he feels her move. He pushes that part of him down into a safe place where nothing can hurt him. Not even Clary.

She shifts and moves so she is facing him. Her eyes are still closed but he knows she is awake. Probably still half asleep though. He pulls her closer to him and he feels her stiffen as their naked bodies connect. Her eyes shoot open and a deep red blush colours her cheeks. He looks down at her and smirks despite himself. She is averting her gaze and he can't help but grin. He feels her shift away from him and pulls her back against him.

"Jace..." She gasps as he holds her firmly against him. She still isn't looking at him.

"Look at me..." He says softly the uneven tone of his voice surprising even himself.

She looks up at him finally blushing deeply. "I need to shower..." She says in almost a stage whisper.

He eyes her curiously and for once he doesn't know what to say. So instead he releases her. She scrambles out of bed and disappears into her bathroom. He hears the door click shut and he sighs. He isn't sure what he expected but it definitely wasn't this.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

He gets up and makes his way to his own room. He jumps straight into the shower letting the hot water run over him as he tries to push down the multitude of thoughts and feelings that are bubbling to the surface. He closes his eyes and tries to clear his mind but all it offers up is the memories of this morning. The only thing he can think about is her.

He feels himself harden and reaches down to touch himself groaning. This isn't any different to before except now the images of her in his mind are real and not fantasy.

Once he is done. He dries himself off and pulls on a fresh pair of boxers. He wonders into the living room apprehensively but there she is sitting on the couch dressed in shorts and a baggy t-shirt as if nothing has happened.

"I'm ordering Chinese for lunch... Is that okay with you?" She asks looking up at him smiling. Her face betrays no emotion, either that or what happened this morning meant absolutely nothing to her.

"As long as you get the mu-shu pork ..." He says quietly. This is new for him. He's never been the one to want to talk about sex or anything related to feelings and emotions before.

He sits down beside her and he feels like a cold hand has clamped down on his heart. It is unnatural to him and suddenly he is angry at her for making him feel this way. He resolves to not say anything. If she is going to act like this he won't stand in her way.

She gets up to make coffee and he sits there lost in his thoughts until she wanders back in. She hands him a steaming mug of coffee and they sit there drinking in silence.

When the food finally arrives he realises how hungry he is. He didn't even have breakfast. They both eat ravenously and as expected in silence.

He gets up to dump the take out containers in the trash and he feels her presence behind him.

He turns around and she has a light blush on her face, "Jace..." She starts softly but is cut short when her phone rings. She looks startled and scrabbles to pick it up.

"Hey Iz," he hears her says hopping up onto the kitchen counter. He leans against the counter on the other side of the kitchen and watches her. She isn't looking at him but he can tell she is aware of his gaze on her.

"Yeah I'm alone..." He hears her say quietly, "Erm, yeah I mean it was good, he ended up staying over... No not like that! He had to leave to go for lunch with his uncle but he wants to take me for dinner tonight..."

And there it is. Reality. Jace feels himself tense up at the words that are coming out of her mouth. Sebastian. She still wants to be with Sebastian even after everything. He had expected as much.

Without even thinking he has left the kitchen and is back in his room pulling his clothes on. When he comes out he is fully dressed and Clary is standing in the living room almost as if she is waiting for him.

"Where are you going?" She asks softly. He can't read the look on her face but right now he doesn't even want to look at her.

"Out..." He says roughly, "I'll see you around."

"Jace..." She says softly as he pulls open the door.

"Bye." He calls out slamming it behind him.

He leans against the door for a minute sighing as the anger in his body depletes. He feels absolutely deflated. He wants her to come after him. He wants to go back in there and kiss her like she's never been kissed before. To claim her as his own.

But she doesn't want him. So what is the point? He storms away a cloud of confusion and misery hanging over him.

Okay so what do you think guys?

Do you want the next chapter to give Clary's thoughts?

Let me know in the review box.

Much love x