Hello!!! I'm sure there are tons more thing you can do with a pair of glasses, but it really isn't neccissary to name them all.

Disclaimer: not mine. Me no own. No credit I take. Neither did I invent Yoda-speak.

"Hey, Prongs."

"Hmmm?"

"Why don't you just get your eyes fixed? I t would be better than wearing those on your face all the time. They can't be very convenient."

"Oh, glasses are very usefull."

"How?"

"Well, they keep flies out of your eyes for a start. And you can light fires with them."

"Oh, cool! How?"

"Hmmm . . . I don't actually know. It's cool though, innit?"

"Yeah. What else do they do?"

"They give me X-ray vision and shoot lazers at enemies."

"Oh, ha ha ha."

"No, seriously. Here, try them on."

"Oh, wow! How come you never said?"

"You never asked."

"These are so cool! Wish I was visualy challenged."

"Oh no you don't."

"I do! How d'you get it?"

"You're born with it."

"What about Moony? He never used to have glasses."

"Well, that's different, innit? He tried to claw his own eyes out, didn't he?"

Sirius looked hopefully at his own grimy fingernails.

"Oh, don't be such an idiot!" Both boys grinned. Telling a Marauder not to be an idiot is a huge waste of time and effort, not to mention the one of the first signs of madness. "Quick, take them off! Snape's coming!"

"So? He can't get us in to trouble for wearing other people's glasses, can he? There's no rule against that."

"They give you X-ray vision, remember?"

Sirius whipped the glasses off and handed them hurriedly back to James. "Here, take them. I definately don't want glasses."

"That's what I said."

Later that day, Sirius suddenly realised why James took such care to make sure his glasses were clean whenever they were around Lily. If you cannot guess, I assure you it was not to make a good impression and advise you never to say 'yes' when people ask if they have to spell it out for you, because if they are cruel and delight in corrupting the innocent (not that I know anyone like that, hehem, big little-girl eyes) they just might.